Saturday, May 2nd: the final instalment.
Fresh from my nap (you know, that’s something I
*never* do at home……how restful and indulgent did I feel!

), we changed clothes and readied ourselves for dinner at the Knife. We were rather of unsure of exactly what to wear: it appeared to be a little more upscale than the multitude of casual establishments that we had on the balance of our itinerary, yet we didn’t exactly bring any formal wear with us in our suitcases. Hoping to find a suitable middle ground, I switched out my purple Ron Jon’s T for a nicer blouse, Steve wore a collared shirt, and we headed out to the Crossroads for our late-ish meal. Night was already falling and darkness was setting in.
Arriving at the Knife, first impressions were quiet good….it seemed rather classy and the décor was quite elegant. Noisy, yes, but otherwise nice. Servers were well dressed in matching black suits and we were seated by a manager immediately upon arrival. As we were taken to our table, he asked if it was our first time dining there, and when we said yes, he asked how we heard about them (then rattled off “Groupon? Livingsocial? Travelzoo?” … apparently most patrons must be there with some sort of discount?

). We told him we had purchased a Groupon for a meal for two, and after seating us he indicated our server would be over to take our drink order within a few moments.
True to his word, a young male waiter came over and gave us a quick explanation of how the buffet worked, and what inclusions were part of the meal. Several of the drink options were alcoholic, but since Steve was driving and I don’t generally partake in alcohol (I have nothing against drinking, it’s just not something I particularly enjoy) we opted for the bottomless soft drinks. He actually seemed a bit annoyed at our selections, making a flip comment about “shall I call you a cab now, then?” as he left to fetch our beverages. Perhaps he was trying to be funny, but it came off more as snide

.
He returned a few minute later with our beverages and a small basket of warm bread, seemingly past his disappointment in our drink order. He gave us a very fast run-down of the buffet. Basically: hot and cold, all we care to enjoy, go help yourselves. The small menu of meat options from the grill was whisked away, despite the fact that I had hoped he would leave it on the table for us to reference during the meal.
Heading up to the buffet, there was a separate and expansive selection of cold items (salads, meats, etc.) but nothing was labelled. Being an Argentinian buffet, many of the items were not easily identifiable, so we were hesitant to try them (me especially….if I’m going to eat it, I want to know what it is first

) . There was one dish that looked okay, and we narrowed it down to either a cheese product or a quiche….but which one was it? Or was it something totally different? We watched several people ask the staff about one item or another, but the answers came in half English/have Spanish coupled with a very heavy accent leaving most people more confused than before they inquired.
Steve built a small plate from the salad bar, but let’s face it….that man was there for the fire-grilled meat, so over we went to the wood fired grill. Small metal plates were provided there to take your selections back to your table. Again, nothing was labelled….there was no list of your options hanging on a wall….it was up to you to figure out what the barbecued piece of meat might be. Some things I knew I wanted to avoid at all costs….like the blood sausage (gag!

)….and some of the beef and pork were hard to distinguish after being grilled over the open fire. Again, many people asked but the answers were hard to translate from Spanish. They really, REALLY need to work on their English. The other major annoyance? The cooks were rushing people past, rather than allowing you to pick more than one piece of meat at a time, so we felt awkward when they moved on to the next guest when we really also wanted a piece of chicken, or a piece of pork, in addition to that slice of steak that we asked for first. Maybe we're odd, but we wanted a little bit of several things from that first pass through, not just one chunck of steak and be gone.
A select few hot items, namely baked potatoes and grilled vegetables, were also on the hot buffet.
Back at our table, we got started on the first round of food that we were able to get from the grill before being hurried away by the chefs. Most of it was pretty good, but some of the beef was too tough to eat and there was a considerable amount of fat on some of the steak that needed to be cut away. The grilled corn was very much undercooked, and neither of us could eat it.
As we ate and discussed how rushed we felt at the grill, one of the managers/owners started going to random tables where he would sit down in an empty chair and begin belting out a song in Spanish. Some of the patrons seemed to love it, others looked mortified. Steve promptly declared that if he found his way over to our corner of the room and begin to serenade us he would punch him in the nose

. It was just an odd thing to be happening (and quite honestly, disruptive), and felt very out of place.
Just when we thought the Spanish Serenade was strange, out of the back appeared a balloon lady wearing a balloon hat that was as tall as she was. She too made her way to random tables (mostly those with children) and began to make balloon creation for the little guests. Not a bad idea, and probably certainly appreciated by those parents, but it felt rather unsuited for a finer dining establishment. Also, now not only was our meal punctuated with boisterous song, but also by popping balloons as her creations took an unfortunate turn.
It was like this place was having an identity crisis. Was it an upscale restaurant, or semi-controlled chaos? Some of their “entertainment” just didn’t seem to fit.
When we had almost decided we’d had our fill of protein (Steve went back to the buffet for more meat a couple of times, I just stole from his plate when he came back….I didn’t want to deal with the dismissive grill men any more) our server came by and asked if we wanted any hot accompaniments. Mashed potatoes, sweet potato fries, regular fries, etc? Well, that would have been lovely…..
half an hour or more ago 
. Why didn’t he offer that at the beginning of our meal? Steve had him bring some mashed potatoes, which were good, but we didn’t finish them because by this point, we just weren’t that hungry.
Except for dessert. We saved room for that.
Dessert was also included with the meal, and each person was entitled to one selection from their pretty extensive dessert menu. Taking our cue that we were ready for the final course, our server came by with the menu that outlined our choices. Some were pretty mainstream, others had a decidedly Argentinian flair. I was considering trying the flan, but when I inquired as to what the ingredients in it were, our waiter didn’t have a clue how it waas made (aside from "milk and eggs"). Sigh. I was not surprised.
We ended up playing it safe: Steve chose the cheesecake….
…..I had this:
It was dulce de leche rolled between layers of sponge cake, topped with chocolate and served with ice cream

.
Let me say, we were not disappointed in the desserts. Absolutely scrumptious, both of them. And may I say that dulce de leche is some amazing stuff

. Yay for the Argentinians in discovering that wonderful substance and sharing it with the world.
Despite our server being well aware that we had a Groupon for the meal (we paid $55 for the Groupon less a 20% discount offer for a total of $44), he brought us a full-price bill for $87 and quickly left the table. We assumed that failing to show the Groupon discount was to help properly calculate a tip on the full value of the meal, but who knows? We put the Groupon with the cash tip in the billfold and waited for him to come back. He never did. We waited 20 minutes or so, didn't even get a look from a staff member, then opted to hand the folder to the greeter as we headed out the door.
I’m not sure what to say. Steve was rather disappointed…..this was a huge must-do for him, and it fell far from his expectations. Thank the Lord we didn’t pay full price, because for almost $90 plus tip, I would have been really, really annoyed. For $44, it was just “okay”. The potential for a great experience is there…..but boy, are some major changes required. It wasn’t all bad, and some of it was quite good, but the rest? Well, it was just odd.
We headed back to the resort in the peace of the car…..after the exuberance of the Spanish singer, the comfortable quiet was a nice respite. We enjoyed more pool and hot tub time, meeting some great folks from Minnesota, North Carolina, Massachusetts and Vermont, then were off to bed. Tomorrow was scheduled for a full day at Universal Studios….and I was set to put on my big-girl panties and ride Gringotts. Maybe

. If I was feeling brave

.
Rope drop at Universal is next!