Looks like DD is getting married at home! Anyone do this, have suggestions?

[lauradis]

I want you to seriously consider having some security for this wedding. You're anticipating at least 125 people, some of which you may not know well. This would be the perfect opportunity for an unscrupulous guest to quietly rifle jewelry, electronics, cash, checks and credit cards. I have known of couples who even had wedding gifts stolen right off the tables they were sitting on. It would be very easy for someone to go upstairs to "use the bathroom", load up their pockets, and then walk right out the front door with your stuff and you'd probably never even know it until much later.

In fact, I think I'd have luxury porta-potties brought in just to keep people out of the house!

why would someone leave all their real valuable stuff just laying around?

minkydog has a point lock up anything you don't want broken or stolen, im not sold on security personnel.

 

[Gigi22]

Back to the issue of security, or not. Two points: 1. Security is a good idea because there will likely be some guests who arrive carrying their presents. And, some people give a cash gift. The immediate family will have enough to do without keeping an eye on the presents. 2. My house was burgled when my next door neighbour threw a large party at his house. We were not at home, but no one at the party noticed anything untoward either. And, the thieves could have gone from house to house that night, just luck that only our house was hit. So, your neighbours may really appreciate any effort you make to keep your neighbourhood secure, especially as there will be a lot of unfamiliar faces and vehicles around.

 

[minkydog]

why would someone leave all their real valuable stuff just laying around?

minkydog has a point lock up anything you don't want broken or stolen, im not sold on security personnel.

Well, unless they put all their stuff in a safe someone with some experience can quickly pocket the goods. You just don't know what someone will find valuable. Something in your jewelry box or in your dresser drawer. An iPod, a tablet, even a laptop can be hidden fairly easily under a coat. It isn't difficult for someone to slip in and out quickly and be completely unnoticed. And big celebrations (or funerals) can draw criminal party crashers who know exactly what they're looking for. They can get in and out in just a few minutes, and they can blend in with the rest of the guests so that you don't even know you've been robbed until later.

We have a young adult family member that lifted some things when my mother got married. Nobody realized the stuff was gone until a few days later. None of us actually saw him take it, but we know he had access (and a drug habit). We found out later that he had a history of "finding" valuable things.

 

[LisaR]

Who keeps an eye on the presents when a wedding is at a hall? The ones we have attended have a table and the presents are set out on the table. There is generally a box (not locked) for envelopes or it would be handed directly to the bride or groom. I can't imagine going to a wedding and having security standing around a gift table or outside the bathroom doors just waiting for guests to pilfer jewelry or gifts. I'd lock up anything important, lock the bedroom doors, and take my chances. Maybe I'm too trusting.

 

[lizabu]

I think the idea of renting potties and keeping everyone out of the house is a good one. 125 ppl running in and out adds an element of unneeded stress. Make sure guests are comfortable and have everything they could possibly need. Then there's no reason to be in the house. All the talk about stealing...that could happen...then you have your harmless snoopers...maybe teens looking for a quiet place to make out...lol. I like the idea of just keeping the house closed up. Even people tracking dirt in and out. Who needs the added stress?

 

[debster812]

I agree about the restroom trailers. We were on Longboat Key in Florida at the beginning of December. There was a restaurant on the island undergoing a HUGE renovation, and they had a restroom trailer in the parking lot. I had never seen it before, but what a great step up from a normal porta-john.

 

[mustgonow]

My brother an his bride married on the back of my parents 5 acres. Seems it was early June weddin (doesn't matter 1 can never depend on the weather.) Beautiful day. NO Tents, no catering a true pot luck.

No port a pots....daddy had made potty frames out of PVC mom made walls with cheap canvas an demin and Velcro the potty it's self was a bucket for the men an women had a port a pot for camping. The frames for the potties was set in the bushes out of the way of mowing an could be pulled out set up in about 10 mins.

Parking was off to the side of the picnic site oh there was NO electric the music for the wedding ceremony was the birds. Many peeps brought their own chairs but parents had lots of seating.

Close to 300 came to the wedding many was still there after dark an the ceremony was at like 2 in the afternoon ....we must have done something right.

Long-time lurker, finally took the plunge and joined, just to ask this question: Who emptied the bucket?

And pot luck at a wedding? Never heard of that.

 

[RF536]

We were married at my in-laws house we had 100 people at our wedding. I would encourage you to have someone inside your house during the wedding. My MIL asked had a couple of her friends take turns being in the house during the wedding and reception. Guests were then able to use the bathroom in the house and we did not rent a port a john. We did not have anyone watching the gift table, but we knew everyone so an outsider would have been noticed quickly. My in-laws also live out in the country so no one would have been able to walk to the wedding and not be noticed.
If there will be liquor, check out what type of insurance you will need and what type of liability you have if someone does drink and drive after the wedding. We decided not to serve any liquor at our wedding, as we did not want that responsibility. We went with a very informal wedding, and our dinner was meat and cheese trays, salads and sides from the local sub shop. Our parents also decided to buy some additional sides from Gordon's food service.

 

[redrosesix]

Long-time lurker, finally took the plunge and joined, just to ask this question: Who emptied the bucket?

And pot luck at a wedding? Never heard of that.

I just couldn't think about the bucket

We had friends who had potluck at their wedding. They had everything they wanted, and just wanted to get married. Their wedding was in a country church where the groom's father was the minister and they had the reception in the garden of the church. They asked people to bring potluck instead of gifts and they supplied the bar and everything else. It was great -- since they rented tuxes and this had all started because the bride found the perfect dress it was 2 months to plan and was all paid for by the time they got married.

Potluck for 200 people is a lot different than just a little party -- they still needed caterers to take care of everything. Some people chose to bring something for the bar.

 

[clh2]

Someone in our subdivision had a backyard wedding for their daughter last May. It was a beautiful day.

They had the whole tent, the floor etc put in. Simply a beautiful set-up. Parking was not an issue, since we live in the country and the lots are 1.5 acres minimum. There were a lot of cars - but easily handled with street parking. They had a band - which promptly stopped playing @10pm, which is our town's quiet hours. Although - the party went much longer than that.

Now - the weather the day after the wedding SUCKED. Raining and thunder/lightning. Be careful about assuming that you can be out in the tents on that type of day. Because you cannot. If you have an outdoor wedding - make sure you've got a back-up plan.

As far as purchasing your own alcohol - I would be hesitant to do this. I think the caterer accepts liability for "over-serving" if they purchase it and have bartenders present.

Hats off to the OP - this is something I would "never, never, never" offer to do!

 

[mustgonow]

Someone in our subdivision had a backyard wedding for their daughter last May. It was a beautiful day.

They had the whole tent, the floor etc put in. Simply a beautiful set-up. Parking was not an issue, since we live in the country and the lots are 1.5 acres minimum. There were a lot of cars - but easily handled with street parking. They had a band - which promptly stopped playing @10pm, which is our town's quiet hours. Although - the party went much longer than that.

Now - the weather the day after the wedding SUCKED. Raining and thunder/lightning. Be careful about assuming that you can be out in the tents on that type of day. Because you cannot. If you have an outdoor wedding - make sure you've got a back-up plan.

As far as purchasing your own alcohol - I would be hesitant to do this. I think the caterer accepts liability for "over-serving" if they purchase it and have bartenders present.

Hats off to the OP - this is something I would "never, never, never" offer to do!

No buckets for toilets, I take it?

 

[clh2]

No buckets for toilets, I take it?

I have no idea...we weren't invited...so I only saw what was going on from the street when we were walking our dog! I do know the family somewhat (the bride used to babysit our DD!) and I can't imagine that they wouldn't have had an appropriate facility (be it indoors or plush portable units) for their guests!

 

[TinkerBelled]

The caterer accepts liability for "over-serving" if they purchase it and have bartenders present.

Hats off to the OP - this is something I would "never, never, never" offer to do!

Certainly, either way you should get liability insurance as part of your wedding package. A good policy can cost very little (under $300, in most cases) and covers everything from rain delays to stolen presents to guest accidents.

I would also use an insured bartender, which most caterers have. Depending on their policy (which you can ask about), the liability may well not change if you purchase the alcohol, as long as they are the only ones serving it. In our case, the caterers' insurance policy covered their bartender despite us providing the alcohol; only the bartender could serve during the party.

 

[ksjayhawks]

If your town's quiet ordinance is 11 p.m., I think stopping the music about 9/9:30 p.m. is a good idea. That gives time for the party to wind down so that by 11 it still isn't going strong, being very loud and disruptive which could result in calls to the police. I am sure that the last thing you would want is for the police to show up at the wedding!

So, plan the start time of the wedding accordingly so that there can be a nice ceremony and reception.

I agree with checking into the liability issue with the drinking.

Also, I would use luxury portapotties and not have anyone in my house. That way you don't have to worry about putting away/locking up valuables, making sure the house is clean, etc. You will have enough to do without worrying about those things.

You can even have people help with the gifts as guests arrive so that the gifts get put in the house and then you lock the door when the wedding starts.

 

[dyna]

I've seen more complaints on this thread that we ever heard in 40 yrs of 4th of July parties where most years the men used a bucket to pee in

Mom or 1 of the family emptied the bucket an the porta potty

We had anywhere from 200 to 400 for our parties. It was a sad day when my parents got to old to do the parties anymore. Neighbor took it up tho an guess what he uses for potties my parents old stuff. Party is as big as ever they say I not been since I moved to FL.

Back to brothers wedding it was all very informal the worst thing that happened all day was my nephew peed on the back of brides dress during the ceremony. Nephew had just turned 3 an should have known better. I think his new aunt had already ticked him off a time or 2 an he wanted to get even.

 

[Disney Doll]

I want you to seriously consider having some security for this wedding. You're anticipating at least 125 people, some of which you may not know well. This would be the perfect opportunity for an unscrupulous guest to quietly rifle jewelry, electronics, cash, checks and credit cards. I have known of couples who even had wedding gifts stolen right off the tables they were sitting on. It would be very easy for someone to go upstairs to "use the bathroom", load up their pockets, and then walk right out the front door with your stuff and you'd probably never even know it until much later.

In fact, I think I'd have luxury porta-potties brought in just to keep people out of the house!

Minkydog makes a good point.
I realize the house will need to be open in order for the caterer to use your kitchen, but I'd make sure all the bedroom doors were locked and any small electronics (DVD players, iPods etc) that could be easily carried out were also secured. Also make sure that any paperwork with your names, SS# etc are also secured. Go with the luxury port-a-potties and get at least one more than they tell you that you need.

Beyond that, if you decide not to do a wedding planner, then the caterer and rental company person will be your new BFFs. My friend's father owned a rental center before he retired and some of the backyard weddings he did were absolutely stunning. And he was more than willing and able to advise the bridal couple as to different aspects of what they needed, might want etc.

The couple should decide what style of wedding they want...casual, formal, barbecue. Do they want a theme??

If I was going to invite the neighbors, I'd invite them for the whole thing.

 

[rigs32]

I've seen more complaints on this thread that we ever heard in 40 yrs of 4th of July parties where most years the men used a bucket to pee in

Mom or 1 of the family emptied the bucket an the porta potty

We had anywhere from 200 to 400 for our parties. It was a sad day when my parents got to old to do the parties anymore. Neighbor took it up tho an guess what he uses for potties my parents old stuff. Party is as big as ever they say I not been since I moved to FL.

I think that there's a huge difference between a casual 4th of July party and a wedding. If I show up wearing a dress I had to have dry cleaned, with nice heels, I am NOT going to be happy about having to use a homemade port-a-potty with a bucket. It's a lot easier to manage casual clothes than dressy clothes in that situation.

And just because guests don't complain doesn't mean they don't have an issue with something. I wouldn't complain to my host in that situation, but I would probably leave shortly after dinner to avoid needing to use the bucket.

 

[diznygirl]

I've seen more complaints on this thread that we ever heard in 40 yrs of 4th of July parties where most years the men used a bucket to pee in

Mom or 1 of the family emptied the bucket an the porta potty

We had anywhere from 200 to 400 for our parties. It was a sad day when my parents got to old to do the parties anymore. Neighbor took it up tho an guess what he uses for potties my parents old stuff. Party is as big as ever they say I not been since I moved to FL.

Back to brothers wedding it was all very informal the worst thing that happened all day was my nephew peed on the back of brides dress during the ceremony. Nephew had just turned 3 an should have known better. I think his new aunt had already ticked him off a time or 2 an he wanted to get even.

Maybe he confused her dress with the pee bucket?

 

[Imhere]

Who emptied the bucket?

Maybe if you have a bridesmaid who doesn't want to dance with her assigned partner, she could empty the buckets while the first dance is going on.

 

[phorsenuf]

I think that there's a huge difference between a casual 4th of July party and a wedding. If I show up wearing a dress I had to have dry cleaned, with nice heels, I am NOT going to be happy about having to use a homemade port-a-potty with a bucket. It's a lot easier to manage casual clothes than dressy clothes in that situation.

And just because guests don't complain doesn't mean they don't have an issue with something. I wouldn't complain to my host in that situation, but I would probably leave shortly after dinner to avoid needing to use the bucket.

For some reason I'm doubting fancy clothes came into play.

I still stand by my original ewwww......