Looking for support, please no flames...

[tammyandtommy]

Ok I am a 30 yr old and I have been overweight for at least half of my life. I have done my research for many years and have approached my final stage of preparing for bariatric surgery. I should be scheduled between March/April. Lately I have not been scared of the surgery itself or the new life afterwards. I have had thoughts of what if... i die. I just need to get this off my chest. I am a nurse I know the pros and cons of surgery and stuff. How can I rid myself of these feelings? I worry about my kids and husband... ok it must be period time... LOL can anyone sympathize or help me figure it out???? Thanks in advance for any help...
Tammy

 

[lilyv]

Ok I am a 30 yr old and I have been overweight for at least half of my life. I have done my research for many years and have approached my final stage of preparing for bariatric surgery. I should be scheduled between March/April. Lately I have not been scared of the surgery itself or the new life afterwards. I have had thoughts of what if... i die. I just need to get this off my chest. I am a nurse I know the pros and cons of surgery and stuff. How can I rid myself of these feelings? I worry about my kids and husband... ok it must be period time... LOL can anyone sympathize or help me figure it out???? Thanks in advance for any help...
Tammy

Tammy I don't know anything about the surgery, but here's a hug.
Venturing into the unknown is uncomfortable and scary sometimes. Do you have a dear friend that you can talk to? Someone who will be with you now, and will be supportive in the future?
Best of luck to you-and hey, a little pixie dust never hurts!

 

[powellrj]

I have never had this type of surgery, but I have had several others and your feelings are natural.

I remember as I was going under for my 1st c-section I looked around the room and said to myself this may be the last thing I ever see, I want to remember everything. Now it sounds really stupid, but at the time I was serious.

I had 2 knee replacements last year and each time I actually wrote instructions out to my DH and kids about what to do if I were to die in surgery. Really strange things like how to handle christmas gifts and what to do with my belongings.

I think your feeling are natural, if they aren't, at least know you aren't alone! Good luck and I hope things go well for you!

 

[DISUNC]

&

Just concentrate on the NEW YOU afterwards!

I get the same thoughts just going to the Dentist!

 

[java]

You have made an informed decision. Best of luck to you.
before surgery is always scary. (I have only had c-sections but I still remember looking around the room thinking what if?.....I had a complication that I was awake enough to hear.) But I was fine. And I hope the same for you.

 

[Pakey]

Tammy. Perhaps you should think about the surgery as being life saving. It's going to help get you healthy and live longer which is life saving, right? I had my very first surgery last year. At 50, I'd never had anything broken, was only in the hospital for the one day to have my son 25 years prior, had never been "knocked out", etc. . So it was very scary for me and the surgery was for cancer, so just add a little more fright onto it. I just kept focused on what was going to happen after, how much better my life would be as a result of the surgery. By the day of my surgery, I just wanted to get it done and I was not anxious at all.

Good luck to you.

 

[tevagirl]

I have no words of wisdom for you but I'm sending you good thoughts! Good luck!

 

[Shugardrawers]

I had the surgery in '00. I wasn't so much worried about dying during surgery as I was about dying from all the complications of being so fat. Try to focus on the reasons you've chosen to take this step and remember, contrary to popular belief the surgery carries no more risk than other major surgeries. Obviously, the patients having the surgery come to it in poor health and that is where most complications originate. Do all you can to be as healthy as possible going in and you'll do great!

It hasn't been easy but it's ALWAYS been worth it for me

I started out at 308# (no, that's not my baby so I can't use that excuse )

7 years and 160# later

 

[tammyandtommy]

Thank you all for your responses.. I hope its normal...
Lily- I have a few close friends that I talk to but when I try to talk to my husband he wont even consider the talk and he is the one that I would love to talk it out with. I guess we all are having fears...
Powell- thanks for the encouragement.
DISUNC- good point!
Java- thanks!
Pakey- I guess youre right its scary, and I know statisically the rate of death is very low, but a real concern at any surgery. I hope your kickin cancers ***! that little bugger needs to find a cure soon. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

 

[tammyandtommy]

Thank you all for your responses.. I hope its normal...
Lily- I have a few close friends that I talk to but when I try to talk to my husband he wont even consider the talk and he is the one that I would love to talk it out with. I guess we all are having fears...
Powell- thanks for the encouragement.
DISUNC- good point!
Java- thanks!
Pakey- I guess youre right its scary, and I know statisically the rate of death is very low, but a real concern at any surgery. I hope your kickin cancers ***! that little bugger needs to find a cure soon. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

teva- thanks
sugah- You are my latest hero! good point to think about!

 

[darlak]

I agree with the others who've said to focus on the positive step you're taking for your health. In the adventure that life is anyway, you're about to start on a new path. I'm excited for you and look forward to sharing in your progress. Keep us posted.

 

[Goofyzgurl]

Good luck and lots of hugs

 

[freckles and boo]

Who in their right mind would flame someone who is having very real and legitimate concerns about surgery??? I don't have any practical advice but I think finding someone to talk to is an excellent idea. Do you have access to counseling through your physician? Maybe there is someone who can help you work through your worries. Good luck to you and congratulations on having made such an important decision!

 

[C.Ann]

If I remember correctly - from when my friend's DD had this surgery - isn't counseling part of the program that is involved in the process? Perhaps you could speak with the person you spoke with before..

Best of luck!

 

[coles1mom]

Tammy, all will go fine. Focus on new clothes, hair, shoes. Did I say New Clothes! New jewelry too. Rings to show off slender fingers, necklaces for that lovely new neckline.

Swinging, sliding, running with your children and running from your husband

Judi

 

[Merriwind]

Good luck, Tammy. All will go well. Wishing you every success.

Shugah--you look AMAZING!

 

[Shugardrawers]

If I remember correctly - from when my friend's DD had this surgery - isn't counseling part of the program that is involved in the process? Perhaps you could speak with the person you spoke with before..

Best of luck!

Therapy is part of a GOOD program but it's not part of every program. If there is no counselor associated with your surgeon and his after care program (or if he has no after care program) FIND A NEW SURGEON!! It's the rare patient that succeeds with no after care.

 

[Tasha+Scott]

I remember as I was going under for my 1st c-section I looked around the room and said to myself this may be the last thing I ever see, I want to remember everything. Now it sounds really stupid, but at the time I was serious.

Hey, you weren't alone! I was put to sleep with my c-section and I was scared out of my mind that I might not wake back up. I remember praying all the way to the OR that God would not let me die BUT if I died that my baby would be okay and that God would make sure that dh could handle raising her alone. It was obviously fine but I will be having another c-section with this baby and I admit I have fears this time too but different ones.

OP, I think it's natural to have those fears before surgery, no matter how many times you go through it. I am sure all will be fine.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Surgery is scary no matter what it is.

 

[tammyandtommy]

You are all right there is some counseling with the program, but after i called Tom at work, he agreed to sit down this weekend and talk i out so I will feel better. Dont stop the encouragement it is always welcomed, and sometimes its easier to turn to those you dont know for advice.. I will let u know how the talk goes...