Looking for opinions on this...

[Pigeon]

I think it's insensitive.

If you had known her for some time and then brought it up, that would be different.

My grandmother came to the US from Ireland when she was 18. She never totally lost her accent. Decades later, she would be offended if people brought the subject up.

 

[ols386]

This might be a cultural thing. When I took a Spanish course in college, the instructor (who was Columbian) told us it was extremely rude to mention somebody's accent. Honestly, I've never heard that before or since.

What about differing accents just within the U.S.?

Is it ok to ask someone in the U.S. (with a southern accent perhaps) where they are from (as in, what state)?

Or is it just not ok to ask someone who is originally from another country, with an accent, where they are from?

I vote, too sensitive.

 

[kwelch10377]

I think it's insensitive.

If you had known her for some time and then brought it up, that would be different.

My grandmother came to the US from Ireland when she was 18. She never totally lost her accent. Decades later, she would be offended if people brought the subject up.

Why would she be offended by it?

I don't think it is insensitive, you were complimenting her and trying to get to know her a little bit. I get that where she is from it may be rude to ask, but the general feeling is that Americans (at least ones that were born and raised here) don't find it insensitive and we shouldn't be called out on it when in America.

 

[starrzone]

Honestly, I think it's a personal issue this woman has, and I wouldn’t take too much offense to it. I gave up long ago trying to worry about what would/wouldn’t offend people; I just treat them how I want to be treated. It sounds like you did, and she had a problem with it; I wouldn’t let that stop you asking others the same question!

Funny story: I was working at the entrance gate to a very busy national park beach in PEI, Canada. An American couple from one of the Southern states (we asked all visitors where they were visiting from) asked me if I was from PEI. I said no, that I was from NB, another province. They said, “No, originally”, so I said well, my ancestors were Scottish (I have just about the most Scottish last name you can think of!). They then said, “I THOUGHT so; there is just something about your accent!” I though it was very charming, and took no offence whatsoever. I also thought it was amusing when French-speaking visitors would come and I’d speak French to them; they were SO confused as to my origins (I found that this group was very curious in general as to where I was from; their real question was “How on earth can you speak French so well?”). I was an Anglophone NBer working in PEI, and I learned my French in NB from Quebecois and Acadian French (from NB) teachers. Of course, I LOVE language and am extremely curious by nature, so I take no offense to questions about accents, and often ask them myself

 

[tlbwriter]

What about differing accents just within the U.S.?

Is it ok to ask someone in the U.S. (with a southern accent perhaps) where they are from (as in, what state)?

Or is it just not ok to ask someone who is originally from another country, with an accent, where they are from?

Hey, like I said, I've never heard it before or since, so I don't know what was supposed to be rude, or if it was okay to ask about regional accents. And that instructor was kind of nutty anyway, so it may have simply been her personal pet peeve.

 

[ols386]

I've lived in one African country and found her attitude about accents to be quite common. So, I don't think she is being overly sensitive. In her original culture it is offensive to discuss accents. Of course, the OP couldn't know that. But how many of us expect people from other lands to understand our cultural mores?

If she's lived in the U.S. for 15 years, wouldn't she be pretty familiar with U.S. culture, by this point in time?

And if you or I lived in another country for that long, would we not be expected to be familiar with their culture?

 

[bettymae1121]

I'd say she's being overly sensitive. After 15 years in the US she should realize that Americans don't consider questions like that rude (especially when stated the way you did yours), so even if it's a "thing" where she's from she should know by now that we don't mean anything by it. I can understand her being anoyed by it, I'm sure she gets asked about it a lot, but that doesn't excuse her reaction either.

 

[EllenFrasier]

Is she wanted by law enforcement in the country she is from? Afraid of being deported? Her green card expire? Why would she care if you ask her where she is from? Sounds like a wacko no matter what her country of origin.