Local news channel has new doppler, now they can panic in half the time!

[Shutterbug]

Do you have a local news channel that really goes into doomsday mode at the drop of the hat?

 

[TDC Nala]

Or the drop of a snowflake. Or the mention of the drop of a snowflake. Or the very idea of the mention of a drop of a snowflake. If you showed these guys a photo of a snowflake they'd start telling you to go out and buy bread and milk NOW. And you know what? Everybody would DO it.

 

[mtblujeans]

What gets us is that they don't seem to know how to use the software! They predict the snow storm of the century and it never appears! It is supposed to be dry when our hay is ready to cut and it rains all week long!! Get someone in there to show you how to use the software!! For Pity's Sake!

 

[EpcotKilterFan]

Do you have a local news channel that really goes into doomsday mode at the drop of the hat?

LOL I was thinking the same thing when I saw it.

And, did you see that they have 1 foot resolution?? His explanation made no sense, but basically it is like Google Earth with better resolution.

(And we need this why??)



Debbie

 

[mtblujeans]

LOL I was thinking the same thing when I saw it.

And, did you see that they have 1 foot resolution?? His explanation made no sense, but basically it is like Google Earth with better resolution.

(And we need this why??)



Debbie

What's "1 foot resolution"?

 

[Shutterbug]

I think it means they can zoom in well enough to look in your bedroom window..lol

 

[mtblujeans]

Hmmm....well, that should make for some very interesting weather segments!

 

[Seahunt]

You haven't seen anything until you've seen Florida TV stations in the hurricane season! They scare you absolutely to death from the minute one forms until it eventually lands somewhere!

From our local paper :

We're about to enter the peak of the hurricane season. Any day now, you're going to turn on the TV and see a weather person pointing to some radar blob out in the Atlantic Ocean and making two basic meteorological points :

(1) There is no need to panic.

(2) We could all be killed.

Yes, hurricane season is an exciting time to be in Florida. If you're new to the area, you're probably wondering what you need to do to prepare! for the possibility that we'll get hit by "the big one." Based on our experiences, we recommend that you follow this simple three-step hurricane preparedness plan:

STEP 1: Buy enough food and bottled water to last your family for at least three days.

STEP 2: Put these supplies into your car.

STEP 3: Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Halloween.

Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not follow this sensible plan. Most people will foolishly stay here in Florida.

We'll start with one of the most important hurricane preparedness
items:

HOMEOWNERS' INSURANCE:

If you own a home, you must have hurricane insurance. Fortunately, this insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long as your home meets two basic requirements:

(1) It is reasonably well-built, and

(2) It is located in Nebraska.

Unfortunately, if your home is located in Florida, or any other area that might actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies would prefer not to sell you hurricane insurance, because then they might be required to pay YOU money, and that is certainly not why they got into the insurance business in the first place. So you'll have to scrounge around for an insurance company, which will charge you an annual premium roughly equal to the replacement value of your house. At any moment, this company can drop you like used dental floss. Since Hurricane George, I have had an estimated 27 different home-insurance companies. This week, I'm covered by the Bob and Big Stan Insurance Company, under a policy that states that, in addition to my premium, Bob and Big Stan are entitled, on demand, to my kidneys.

SHUTTERS:

Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows, all the doors, and-if it's a major hurricane-all the toilets. There are several types o! f shutters, with advantages and disadvantages:

Plywood shutters: The advantage is that, because you make them yourself, they're cheap. The disadvantage is that, because you make them yourself, they will fall off.

Sheet-metal shutters: The advantage is that these work well, once you get them all up. The disadvantage is that once you get them all up, your hands will be useless bleeding stumps, and it will be December.

Roll-down shutters: The advantages are that they're very easy to use, and will definitely protect your house. The disadvantage is that you will have to sell your house to pay for them.

Hurricane-proof windows: These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane protection: They look like ordinary windows, but they can withstand hurricane winds! You can be sure of this, because the salesman says so. He lives in Nebraska.

Hurricane Proofing your property: As the hurricane approaches, check your yard for movable objects like barbecue grills, planters, patio furniture, visiting relatives, etc...You should, as a precaution, throw these items into your swimming pool(if you don't have a swimming pool, you should have one built immediately). Otherwise, the hurricane winds will turn these objects into deadly missiles.

EVACUATION ROUTE:

If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route planned out. (To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look at your driver's license; if it says "Florida," you live in a low-lying area.) The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being trapped in your home when a major storm hits. Instead, you will be trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home, along with two hundred thousand other evacuees. So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely.

HURRICANE SUPPLIES:

If you don't evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies. Do not buy them now! Florida tradition requires that you wait until the last possible minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with strangers over who gets the last can of SPAM. In addition to food and water, you will need the following supplies:

23 flashlights.

At least $167 worth of batteries that turn out, when the power goes off,
to be the wrong size for the flashlights.

Bleach. (No, I don't know what the bleach is
for. NOBODY knows what the bleach is for, but it's traditional, so GET some!)

55 gallon drum of underarm deodorant.

A big knife that you can strap to your leg.(This will be useless in a hurricane, but it looks cool.)

A large quantity of raw chicken to placate the alligators. (Ask anybody who went through Andrew; after the hurricane, there WILL be irate alligators.)

$35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after the hurricane passes, you can buy a generator from a man with no! discernible teeth.

Of course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on your television and watching TV reporters in rain slickers stand right next to the ocean and tell you over and over how vitally important it is for everybody to stay away from the ocean.

Good luck, and remember: Its great living in Paradise.

 

[Syrreal]

seahunt!! too funny! I almost miss hurricanes!

Here in central KY the "better" news station is the NBC affiliate and they have the Maxtrack Live doppler... oh..where do I begin?
Every little rainstorm gives us some kind of tornado/severe thunderstorm/end of the world watch. Plus the main meteorologist guy is just an !@# and talks as if he is explaining everything to 5 year olds.
To tell the truth, I would just like to have an accurate forecast. We never get those.
Something else...give me a hurricane before a tornado any day...atleast a hurricane you have days to prepare instead of "oh..a tornado is coming...you have 3 seconds"

 

[Free4Life11]

STEP 3: Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Halloween.

Nebraska. Yeah-yuh!

 

[ragdoll]

I saw that last night. Local ABC (channel 5 in Cleveland is the worst!) DH absolutely cannot stand Mark Johnson (if that was who you were thinking of). I could not believe how they showed him unpacking this contraption. I actually couldn't stomach watching the rest. Wait until I tell DH that he has a new and improved toy! Don't think we will be turning on Channel 5 anymore.

 

[SleepyMom]

We have a local station that loves to go all doomsday on us whenever any kind of weather approaches. The have gone to live full-time coverage that lasted nearly 9 hours for a snowstorm! I kid you not!!!! I think they just like hearing themselves talk. After maybe 20 minutes everything they say has been said before and is recycled over and over and over and over...Then in the Spring and Summer we get tornado and thunderstorm coverage, they had a 5 hour marathon a couple of summers ago. The other two local stations break in with updates, so I am not sure why this one feels they need to be full time.

 

[cardaway]

Here they come up with dramatic little names for every "storm". Makes sense as long as you don't compare our storms to real storms in other places.

 

[hiwaygal]

I just had to laugh when I started reading this thread!

We live in an area that can get hurricanes...and I swear, every time there's a CLOUD off Africa, our weatherman has a note "HEADED OUR WAY?" at the top of the screen...no matter that the National Hurricane Center has already said it's going to die out before the next broadcast...IT'S HEADED OUR WAY!!

I swear, I think weathermen get kick backs from grocery stores (all that bread and milk and water and batteries...)

 

[edcrbnsoul]

Storm Hype equals BIG ratings.

We live in the Northeast when did 6 inches of snow become a (you have to say this next part in your deepest newscaster voice) Major Snow Storm??

 

[Sonya]

We do, and their competetor advertizes that they "keep a cool head in a storm". Too funny!

 

[perdidobay]

Yeah, and our local station names the (non) storms... I swear!
Winter Wipeout 2003 or something similar along with the ominous music.
All for 1 inch of snow and temps of 22

I'm waiting for "White Death 2006" this year

 

[Towncrier]

I was less than impressed with the "Power of Five" (as they are calling their new weather toy). I am willing to bet that even with several trillion watts of doppler radar and their fancy 3-D displays, they still won't have a clue about NE Ohio weather.

Q: How did we survive as the human race without all of these ultra sophisticated weather warning systems?

A: In the old days, we all had enough sense to come in out of the rain.

 

[Servants of Evan]

I worked the Cleveland Emmy awards a few years ago immediately following the introduction of Dual-Doppler and the first large storm which got blown out of proportion. I remember the storm and the Channel 5 weather guy (yes, I think it was Mark Johnson) interrupting the programming and continuously scanning into the storm area map until it was down to a single street. At the Emmy awards, the venerable Dick Goddard had some fun at Mark's expense. It was something along the lines of "We have a storm front approaching Garfield Heights, right here along XYZ Drive. David and Marsha Dombrowski, from the echoes I'm seeing you need to get your dog inside now!!!

 

[ntburns22]

I saw that last night. Local ABC (channel 5 in Cleveland is the worst!) DH absolutely cannot stand Mark Johnson (if that was who you were thinking of). I could not believe how they showed him unpacking this contraption. I actually couldn't stomach watching the rest. Wait until I tell DH that he has a new and improved toy! Don't think we will be turning on Channel 5 anymore.

Ditto............I had on 19 Sunday morning to check on the weather and the weather guy kept calling Lorain County Cuyahoga County in every weather report for the 2 hours that they were on.No one noticed his mistake time after time . Lorain was in green the rest was in red on the map. I turn to channel 3 and Lorain had a flood watch that 19 never mentioned. Talk about a genious.