Live within your means

mrodgers

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Oct 29, 2009
Messages
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So, we have been struggling trying to pay off debt. We want to start, but can't figure out where to start. Our debt isn't from excess. We have a 1996 TV, we don't have cell phones, we don't have fancy cars, we don't have luxuries. When Wifey went back to work, we figured we'd be able to catch up just fine and planned a very much needed first vacation in our family's 14 year history, including the honeymoon we never took. Planned the vacation, paid for the vacation, then didn't get ahead like we thought.

Can't seem to get ahead. Every month something goes wrong. Washing machine, dryer, stove, car repairs, etc, etc.

I sit here in agony and pain. I can barely move, barely walk, barely stand the back pain. Why? The bed. The bed is absolutely terrible. We need a new bed in a bad way. I can barely make it through the day at work with the back pain. I know it's the bed. Yet, there's no money for a bed if we "live within our means."

Car inspection is coming up in 2 months. The car has nearly 200k miles on it. I know it's not going to pass. Our "new" car just didn't pass and needed money put into it. Not much, but it was money we didn't have if we were to "live within our means." The 2nd car, which is my work car, needs a lot of body work, brakes, tires, a lot of stuff. It has 200k miles on it. Mechanically it is good, but 200,000 miles is the end of a cars life due to corrosion where I live. It will cost me a fortune to keep this car, a fortune that we don't have if we were to "live within our means."

My wife wants to get out of the working nights rut. Our youngest will be in 1st grade, which means she will now be in school all day (we still had half-day kindergarten.) She would like to see her children during the school year. She would like to see her husband more than 15 minutes a day. Her husband would like to see her more than 15 minutes per day. During school as it is, she sees the girls about 15 minutes per day. She can't go grocery shopping, can't take the girls to school in the mornings when they have projects to carry that are bigger than they are, can't take care of her mother on her days off, can't work while the kids are in school, etc if she doesn't have a car. Thus, we need 2 cars.

So, it is time to replace my car. But, we can't do it if we were to "live within our means." I sit here with the printout of what my bank will give a loan for depending on interest rates, terms, and age of a car and there are no used cars that will stay "within our means" with the payments I would be able to afford. It would cost the same payment wise if I were to buy brand new compared to the payment under the bank terms if I were to buy a used 2007, 06, 05, 04, etc. etc. It never makes sense to me to replace one car that constantly needs money put into it for another car that constantly needs money put into it. We've found out long ago, buying 5 years old, paying for 5 years, driving for 5 years, and trading when it's 15 years old for nothing costs a lot more than buying new, paying 5 years, driving 5 years and trading when it's worth something 10 years old.

We want to start a savings account to save up an "emergency fund." We plan to put a mere $20 away from each paycheck until it reaches the emergency level, which is $20 that we need. We are in desperate need of a new bed so we can get decent sleep to work the next day without being in pain. We need a new car so I can get to work while she is using her car to get to work. We need a new roof on the house. And we need to buy more siding boards to finish our 3 year house project of reinsulating and replacing the water damaged siding.

How do you "mean income" people do all this "living within your means" stuff? If I was to live within my means, we would no longer have any car, we wouldn't have anything to eat, and we wouldn't have any heat in the dead of winter.
 
:hug:

I admire you for coming here and being so honest.

I hope that this thread will bring you the answers that you need.

It sounds like you are being as frugal as you can be.

I was wondering how your food bill is?
 
Food for thought. you paid off the vacation, maybe you should have paid off the lingering debt, I understand you guys need a vacation, yes times are stressful......... It seems like you are living within your means,,,maybe a second job for a little while will help pay off your debt. (pray about your situations and ask for guidance) Hope everything works out for you, I know it will. Another thing open a online savings account (ING) have a few dollars taken out your pay check and watch it grow. the good thing about this account you dont get a debit card to use like credit. you just deposit money and forget about it.
 
Sounds like you are living within your means. If your wife went back to work and the bills stayed the same, you should have some extra income somewhere.
You need to get a new mattress if that is causing you pain. You can't have a positive outlook when you're in pain. A lot of places do payment plans check into that.
 

I feel your pain. I always feel like we go two steps forward and one step back. Or sometimes one step forward and three steps back.

The simple answer is to spend less than you bring in but we all know it is easier said than done. It is hard.

If you can't afford your house (mortgage, insurance, taxes, repairs) then you rent, even if it is a small apartment.

A lot of people will disagree with me but I see nothing wrong with having a car payment as long as you can make the payment every month without a problem especially if you are like us and live in an area with ZERO options for public transportation.

If your washer and dryer break down, then maybe you use a laundry-mat or a friend or family member's washer/dryer until you can buy one (Been there. Done that.)

You get bare bones cable or satellite or cut out cable or satellite all together.

Cut back on utility usage. Short showers. Open blinds and turn off lights during the day. Unplug appliances when not in use. Turn hot water heater down. Don't water the lawn.

Maybe get a second job for a while to build up that emergency fund. A pain in the neck? Yes. But maybe necessary in the short-term to make things easier in the long-term.

Do you live in a part of the country where the cost of living is very high? Is moving an option?

It is hard to give you specific suggestions without knowing your income and expenses. From your original post it does sound like you live a very frugal lifestyle. Maybe the simplest (and hardest) answer is that you need to make more money.
 
I'm pretty sure (as I think it is a national program) that your area has an energy efficiency program. You'll have to do some research, but basically, the program is there to cut our energy use by helping people make their homes more energy efficient. If you qualify, which you very well may, then the cost to you is $0. The group will inspect your doors, windows, hvac, insulation, etc. Again, it is free as the money, I'm 90% certain, is a federal grant designed to cut energy usage.

In NC, the organization varies county by county. In my county, it is run by a senior group, but you don't have to be a senior to qualify. In other counties, it is run by other non-profits.

Hopefully, this is a start to get the renovations complete.
 
You need to get a new mattress. It is a necessity so you can continue to work and hopefully will save you from spending more money in the not so distant future for pain meds and/or Dr bills.
 
I am sorry you are having a hard time. I believe in not spending more than you have and I know sometimes it is really difficult!

Does one of the churches in your area offer Dave Ramsey's class? It can be helpful in figuring out your finances. Also I understand some churches offer Angel Food Ministries and it can be a good way to stretch your food $$. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Let people know you are having trouble.

Would returning to school help your income? Is it possible for your DW to begin looking for work during the school hours? She may not find anything right away but it won't hurt to look.

It is hard to stay positive when it feels like you can never get ahead. Don't give up! Be creative and feel free to vent here. We are pretty good listeners!
 
For the short term, could you have a yard sale or put stuff up on craigslist? Maybe you could raise enough for the mattress.

For appliances: check Craigslist (I don't suggest that for the bedding :laughing: ). I bought a washer for $75 and aside from putting a new $10 latch on, it's been going strong for 2 years.

Have you taken the vacation yet? As much as it would stink, could you maybe get a refund? Even if you lost $100 or so deposit, that remaining balance might be alot to put towards your goal.

:hug: Good luck.
 
Really really try to classify "need" while a new bed would be nice to get a better nights sleep- is it really necessary right now? If you think it's a need- wait until it goes on sale. There are some serious matress sales.

It's easier to justify spending when you think of it as a need vs. a want. Go bare bones. What do you really need - food, shelter, transportation.

With the car- you are going to need a new one soon- but new doesn't have to be "new" - buy a used car with less mileage. Shop wisely and get it inspected first. I have to disagree with your cost analysis with what I have looked at. But I don't know what kind of car you are looking at.

Sit down and make a budget. When you write down all your expenses you'll be surprised at what is "fluff" I thought we had cut all the way back - but then when I looked I found some little things to cut that all added up.

I'm sorry you are stressed out. I have learned that it all somehow works out. I hope it all works out for you.
 
It seems your family does not make enough to live where you do. You have to cut out ALL wants - cable, eating out, expensive gifts for the kids etc. If you are still under water then you need to get another job to get more income.

What % of your net are you different categories?
 
How much consumer debt do you have and what portion of your income are you dedicating towards paying that off? Is your budgetary pain a short term phenomenon?

In other words, if you are dedicating a high percentage towards your consumer debt, then there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Once the debt is paid off then you'll feel like a huge weight is lifted off of you once the debt is gone. Then you can dedicate that money towards that emergency fund, retirement savings and hopefully towards a bit of a step up in lifestyle.
 
So, we have been struggling trying to pay off debt. We want to start, but can't figure out where to start. Our debt isn't from excess. We have a 1996 TV, we don't have cell phones, we don't have fancy cars, we don't have luxuries. When Wifey went back to work, we figured we'd be able to catch up just fine and planned a very much needed first vacation in our family's 14 year history, including the honeymoon we never took. Planned the vacation, paid for the vacation, then didn't get ahead like we thought.

Can't seem to get ahead. Every month something goes wrong. Washing machine, dryer, stove, car repairs, etc, etc.

I sit here in agony and pain. I can barely move, barely walk, barely stand the back pain. Why? The bed. The bed is absolutely terrible. We need a new bed in a bad way. I can barely make it through the day at work with the back pain. I know it's the bed. Yet, there's no money for a bed if we "live within our means."

Car inspection is coming up in 2 months. The car has nearly 200k miles on it. I know it's not going to pass. Our "new" car just didn't pass and needed money put into it. Not much, but it was money we didn't have if we were to "live within our means." The 2nd car, which is my work car, needs a lot of body work, brakes, tires, a lot of stuff. It has 200k miles on it. Mechanically it is good, but 200,000 miles is the end of a cars life due to corrosion where I live. It will cost me a fortune to keep this car, a fortune that we don't have if we were to "live within our means."

My wife wants to get out of the working nights rut. Our youngest will be in 1st grade, which means she will now be in school all day (we still had half-day kindergarten.) She would like to see her children during the school year. She would like to see her husband more than 15 minutes a day. Her husband would like to see her more than 15 minutes per day. During school as it is, she sees the girls about 15 minutes per day. She can't go grocery shopping, can't take the girls to school in the mornings when they have projects to carry that are bigger than they are, can't take care of her mother on her days off, can't work while the kids are in school, etc if she doesn't have a car. Thus, we need 2 cars.

So, it is time to replace my car. But, we can't do it if we were to "live within our means." I sit here with the printout of what my bank will give a loan for depending on interest rates, terms, and age of a car and there are no used cars that will stay "within our means" with the payments I would be able to afford. It would cost the same payment wise if I were to buy brand new compared to the payment under the bank terms if I were to buy a used 2007, 06, 05, 04, etc. etc. It never makes sense to me to replace one car that constantly needs money put into it for another car that constantly needs money put into it. We've found out long ago, buying 5 years old, paying for 5 years, driving for 5 years, and trading when it's 15 years old for nothing costs a lot more than buying new, paying 5 years, driving 5 years and trading when it's worth something 10 years old.

We want to start a savings account to save up an "emergency fund." We plan to put a mere $20 away from each paycheck until it reaches the emergency level, which is $20 that we need. We are in desperate need of a new bed so we can get decent sleep to work the next day without being in pain. We need a new car so I can get to work while she is using her car to get to work. We need a new roof on the house. And we need to buy more siding boards to finish our 3 year house project of reinsulating and replacing the water damaged siding.

How do you "mean income" people do all this "living within your means" stuff? If I was to live within my means, we would no longer have any car, we wouldn't have anything to eat, and we wouldn't have any heat in the dead of winter.

Do you have a sears scratch and dent center near you. We got a great serta mattress and box spring for about half of what it cost in the stores.
 
It seems your family does not make enough to live where you do. You have to cut out ALL wants - cable, eating out, expensive gifts for the kids etc. If you are still under water then you need to get another job to get more income.

What % of your net are you different categories?

ITA- what is your housing%? If your budget is cut to the bare bones and you are still not keeping your head above water, I'd look at your housing situation. Friends of mine actually just did this - they sold their house (which they made no money on) and are renting a smaller house now - and saving almost 1500/month between mortgage, taxes and utility payments. It was a hard decision, but one she says they should have made years ago!
 
I would like to second the Dave Ramsey suggestion.

I do not follow his same religious beliefs, so I thought that might be an issue for me, but his financial suggestions have changed my life.

The key is to create a plan and stick to it. Dave's plan is a good place to start.
 
OP - Hang in there! It's a process to get financially healthy - think of baby steps so it doesn't seem so overwhelming....

You'll get lots of great advice on how to cut your bills - as others have said - cancel or barebones internet, cable, phones cel and land line. Things we think we must have really we can live without. I had success calling to cancel satelitte tv, home phone etc and getting offered really great discounts to not cancel -

when we needed a mattress and couldn't afford it we were able to get by for several months by adding a piece of plywood between the mattress and boxspring - we had a like a sagging mattress and the wood firmed up the mattress and improved our sleep until we could save up to afford a new one. The plywood isn't that expensive and home depot will cut it to spec when you order it - so just go with your bed measurements in hand if you want to try that

Also when we did go mattress shopping - we learned prices on mattress are negotiable - the sticker price is just a place to start negotiating - they will make you a deal.

Since you have 2 months before your inspection perhaps you can sock away some money towards inspection/car repairs - can you wait to see what repairs on the old vehicle will cost before you decide if you must get a new one? Perhaps you can pass inspection with a small investment and eek out another 6 months to year in the old car?

Lastly, for us when things are really tight I give up my diet coke (which I personally feel I am addicted to) - and other expensive items from the grocery budget and then use that money for other things - it hurts but it is doable and really I can drink water - it won't kill me :)

Good luck and try not to get discouraged.
 
Lastly, for us when things are really tight I give up my diet coke (which I personally feel I am addicted to) - it won't kill me :)

Now that would kill me!
 
Good idea with the plywood on the mattress..also, flip the mattress, that can help, and get one of those egg crate cover things for it. That helps...I also agree Dave Ramsey is a great no-nonsense way to help you see money in a new light. You don't have to pay attention to his religious beleifs to get good use out of his financial common sense. It does seem like expenses must have gone up since your wife is now working and you still aren't able to get ahead. I agree with a strict budget and write down EVERY dime you spend to see where it goes. There are all kinds of ways to save money, and make more money. Eventually it all comes together...hang in there.
 
This might sound strange, but you might check overstock.com for mattresses. They have all kinds of traditional mattresses, memory foam mattresses and memory foam toppers..all different price ranges and $1.00 shipping.

Granted, that's only one part of your problem, but a good nights sleep can help alleve a lot of stress.

I don't have many words of wisdon, but have you looked into credit counseling? It helped my sister tremendously and took away that feeling of never being able to dig herself out.

Good luck and I hope you find a solution!!!!!
 
I have to echo the Dave Ramsey suggestion- his principles really have changed my life and way of thinking! I would go get his book, The Total Money Makeover asap (you can get a copy from your library) and read it cover to cover. His basic principles are making a budget and sticking to it, getting out of debt, and doing whatever you can to change what isn't working for the long term.

It seems overwhelming, and I don't know how much consumer debt you have, but if you write it all down and follow the "baby steps" it really makes sense.

Good luck and I hope you can find something that works for you!!:goodvibes
 


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