Live within your means

[SunnieRN]

Agreed that there is a fundamental problem here- and not knowing the reasons for it makes it impossible to offer advice.

One thing I can tell you is not to let others opinions of you influence your decisions- if your housing costs are too high don't let your ego get in the way of downsizing.

If you have a credit card problem, call your creditors and get on hardship programs or put your cards in a Consumer credit counseling program.

Get real with yourself- are you eating at McDonalds twice a week? Do you get Starbucks or eat lunch out every day? Do you spend more than you should at the grocery store? Do you have more than basic cable?

If you write down everything you spend in a month, you might be surprised at how much you are spending on discretionary items.

I was. That is why I am doing the no buy thread on this forum now- it keeps me honest.

(Sunnie! We were writing almost the same thing at almost the same time! I guess "no buy" people think alike!)

Nice to see you!!!

 

[DreadpiratK]

I can't offer any better advice then has already been given, but I can offer encouragement. We've been there, and not long ago at all. 3 years ago we were unemployed, in foreclosure, our business had gone belly up and we were 300k in debt. We also have 5 kids, with one starting college. Not the happiest time in my life.

How do you fight such a monster? As Sean Connery says in Highlander "With heart and faith and steel" Good advice when you're in a battle for your (financial) life.

I applied much of the advice given in this thread. It was painful in the extreme. We had to give our house back to the bank, a house I remodeled myself over 15 years, and raised my kids in- that was the worst experience of my life.

We sold everything that was worth anything, including my prized Mini cooper S -I loved that car!

Mostly I got a job, moved to a very cheap house, in fact our house was condemned when we bought it, now it's half way livable due entirely to sweat equity, only costs $500 a month, and it will be paid off in 6 years.

In addition to my full time job I took on part time contract work, and it made a huge difference. I took a occasional job fixing exercise equipment. simple pull the old part install the new part stuff, only paid $60 per visit, but you wouldn't believe how much an extra $200-$300 helped and I could make my own hours. We didn't budget it, it just padded the checking account now and then, and it made a big difference. I now have two part time jobs plus my full time job and my wife works 3 nights a week as a telemarketer (no flames please! )

We did and are doing the whole 'live like no one else' thing, and it works.

3 years in we only have about 55k in debt, and our outgo is much less than our income. Things are good enough that we are actually going to Disney this fall and taking my parents. Super budget trip, but all paid for in cash up front. We could pay off the rest of the debt quicker if we didn't go, but for various reasons this is the time for us, so we're going.

Don't give up. It's a battle for your life and your family. You gotta man up, get angry, get tough, and do what you gotta do. Heart, faith and steel and you'll beat this monster!

 

[DreadpiratK]

I would like to add one other piece of advice, it's advice my Dad gave me a long time ago, and it's applicable to financial decisions.

He said: "it's easy to tell what right. If it feels good now, but will hurt later it's probably wrong, if it hurts now, but will feel good later, it's probably right."

Most, if not all of the financial (and personal) pain in my life has come from ignoring that advice.

 

[FINFAN]

sadly you have just described middle class...or a heck of a lot of people. Hope things turn around for you soon, and for us all!

 

[MagicalMawMaw]

Sounds like y'all are already running a pretty tight ship.

I too know what it is like to live on a tight budget & it is tough at times.

We have always been a one income family. Was tight & tough at times as we raised our 4 kiddos. But we managed only by living below our means. And we never ran up credit card debt which is a killer.

Several years back we went to a Dave Ramsey talk. I was kind of impressed. I'm already a big budget person & we also tried to save abit each check, who cares if it is only 5 bucks! And we already gave a % per check as he talks about too. We didn't start living by the plan or anything as we already have some $ saved & steps like that...But, we loved the debt-free idea.

So we looked for any costs to cut. We don't have cable, only have pay as you go cell, we don't smoke or waste $ on lottery tickets, movies & junk like that. If it was not needed we cut it.

We started with the littlest debt & paid it off & then put that $ towards the next lowest debt each month. Our debts weren't huge...vehicle, camper, & a couple of small ones - none being credit cards as we always pay them off monthly.[And yes, I know Dave Ramsey says No Credit Cards]

It worked & within several years we were debt-free. It can be done & it feels so good to get there.

I just wanted to encourage y'all along the way. Sometimes it feels like the rest of the world is loaded & you are by yourself - but I promise you've got lots of company who knows how it feels & is rooting for you.

Just remember to have fun along the way.

Laugh & go on a picnic.
Check out the zoo & get a membership card.
Get ice cream at McDonalds.
Cook hotdogs on the grill & fix ice cream.
Sit outside & count the stars at night.

Just don't forget life is a journey & enjoy the trip!

 

[MrsPete]

I recently had a conversation with my ds who will be off to college soon . . . The choices we each make every single day impact our futures and the futures of our children . . .

That's well said. When DH and I were first married, some of our friends thought we were nuts to live the way we did: Only one car, never ever ate out, no cable TV, etc. Why not make life easier? More fun? Well, now we're debt free, while they're trying to figure out why they won't be able to retire early or pay for their kids' college.

Since you were going to BUY A NEW CAR....let's take what your car payment would have been...let's use $400 again for fun...take that $400 and put it in savings marked 'car fund' for a year...you were going make payments to a car loan anyway right?

Now if an emergency comes up with the car, you have the 'car fund' to use. But what if there's no issues in a year? 12 months go by and you now have $4800 in your 'car fund'.

We've done this twice: Twice we've reached the point that we've said, "The car's going to die soon", but we DID NOT replace it. Instead, we kept driving it, making small repairs here and there . . . and in both cases, the car lasted TWO YEARS LONGER than we expected. That was two years for us to save, and we have not been forced to finance a car.

 

[quasar4legs]

Lots of good practical advice already but I just wanted to add that a big vegetable garden can really help the food budget. If you grow from seeds it can be cheap to set up and it can be an enjoyable activity for the whole family.

Best of luck

 

[stazmatic]

I think there is a lot to be said for the philosophy of "The Secret"

It sounds a little strange, but when you start believing good things can happen, they do. When you believe you have enough money, you have enough money. Good money attracts good money, etc, etc.

I will NEVER say I can't afford something.

I will say - That is not something I want to spend MY money on.

Powerful things started happening after my husband and I changed our mindsets. We didn't feel deprived anymore and we were happier with what we had. The happier we were the more good things were happening. The more good things that started happening the more money started building up in our savings account.

We went from owing $10k on our car and some misc debts to be completely debt free and have an additional $10k in our emergency fund. Plus money for a vacation. This has all changed in the last year or less.

Change the way you feel about your situation, and your situation will change for the better

 

[anna08]

There have been so many good suggestions here - this is quite a valuable thread!

Just some things my mom did when money was tight when I was a kid -

Never use the clothes dryer - hung out laundry to dry.
Made fast showers a family rule.
Closed off heat vents in unused rooms and in bedrooms in the winter. Santa's gift when I was 12 was a down comforter and I still own it 30 yrs later and my daughter sleeps with it.
Don't buy processed food and grow whatever you can.
Own a reliable but used car. Have had (please don't flame me) Japanese cars that can be driven nearly forever with mostly only routine maintenance.
Own a small amount of good quality clothes (so they can survive drying outdoors!)
Carpooled and rode bus to work instead of driving everyday.
Public schools for education.

Just a few things that even are a bit environmentally friendly, not that we knew it at the time.

My only thing to add is to try try try to get some stress relief with exercise. It is amazing how much being fit will help you get through the tough times. I know there does not seem enough time in the day, but you will not regret it. It is hard in the beginning but you will get stronger and mentally healthier. Thank goodness running/walking are free! Good luck!