List of Rules....

[Mel6197]

Okay all

I need your help..Last night my sister's family decided they dont want to do Disney. So she asked to change her reservatoins for just her and my niece the week that I am going with my daughter and my mom.. Okay here is the little problems. Ive been to Disney. I know what I like, what I thought was a snore etc. We are early risers,They are not, My DD could care less about Princesses and would never wait in line to meet them, DN Adores them (meals too) My mom plan to come with me to help me with my daughter who is also Autistic.. My sister is a good person, but a complainer,, I have no problems going our own ways while we are there as long as I dont have to share our mom ... But my sister wont leave us I think.. So What Im asking of you all is a set of "worded Nicely" rules of our trip...I love my neice, but 8 days with my sister SCARES me.. LOL... I was so excited to have a trip with just my daughter and Mom, and now they are coming.. I just keep telling myself it will be fine, if I need to "get lost" I will give my mom the "LooK' and dissipear.. LOL.. Thanks a bunch all, Gotto get off line and change ALL my PS for a party of 5 now..

 

[AreWeThereYet]

Maybe you should set up an itinerary that you would like to do with your mom and then give a copy to your sister. Tell her that this is what you are planning to do with Mom and she is welcome to join you for things she might like to do, and that she can meet up with you if she chooses not to follow your plans. Might help a little bit.

Good Luck!!

 

[house_of_princesses]

I talk with my Mom about everything. So, I'd tell her privately how I felt about the whole thing, see what she has to say and go from there. My Mom always knows what to say or do. Perhaps your Mom would like to spend a day with your Dn?

 

[crisi]

1. If your daughter wants to eat with the princesses, you make the reservations. My DD is not interested and I am not going to bother. Don't make them for us, but let us know when you make them for, we may decide to dine with Pooh.

2. We will be getting up to hit the parks at opening each day. You are welcome to join us, or join us later, but we will not wait for you. (Radios or cell phones help hook up later)

3. Here is our list of must dos. We will work our days to see these things. If there are things here you don't want to see, you can skip them and meet up with the rest of us later. If there are things not on this list you want to do, let us know. We may decide to do them with you, or we may split the party up.

4. My daughter has special needs regarding stimulation, etc. I will not put those needs secondary. So if we need to spend more time doing something, or skip something, or leave the parks early, that is what we are doing. You are free to do something else if that isn't what you want to be doing.

5. Disney is the happiest place on earth. However, it is going to be stressful for us as well. I have my own child to take care of, and don't have the time or patience for childish behavior from any adults. Whining and complaining is reserved for children under seven

 

[dg39]

I don't understand why you don't want to "share" your mom. If your mom doesn't want to spend time with your sisters daughter or your sister, then you may be able to get away with having her all to yourself, although I don't know how she will able to do that without hurting someones feelings. If you don't want to have your sister & niece to be with you during your trip, then you should tell her before she goes. She may think that this is a type of mother/sister/child vacation & have all intentions of being together with you & your mom. I'm sure/hope she understands that your dd needs special attention. Just explain to her that there are things that your daughter may or may not want to do at disney & you don't want to take away from your nieces fun, so there will be times that you all have to go your seperate ways, & that your mom is going with you to help you. Let us know what happens & good luck.....

 

[Mel6197]

Thanks All for the Advise..


As far as "sharing" our Mom. If my mom wants to spend time with them its FINE.. No biggie.. But there are some things that I would really enjoy being with my mom, while we do, Like the Haunted Mansion, Buzz, Parades,(to see her face enjoy it) I love my sister very much, and I ADORE my neice,I cant wait to see her face when she sees the castle for the 1rst time, and the Magic of Disney... But my sister has a VERY domanting personaly, and Im worried that I will back down on my trip plans to make her happy.. (This is something I have to work on Thanks again all.. Im sure we will all have a great time...

 

[Madi100]

I know EXACTLY where you are coming from. We are planning a trip in January. DH, DD (6), DD (2), and myself are going. We decided to take my mom with us. Not just an invitation to go, but hey, go with us to Disney, and we'll pay your way. The only stipulation is that she is going to babysit for us. It's not a 24 hours a day job. It's just for us to do a few things at night, and a little couple time during the day. So, Mom's going now. Because of her going, we have to have another room. Not a big deal, we anticipated that. So, we get to talking, and we decide to invite my step dad to go along. However, we are not paying for his trip, just inviting him to come and stay in a free room. We can do things all as a family, my parents can do things by themselves, and DH and I can do things by ourselves. Great.

Well, now my sister (step sister actually, but we don't know the difference) has decided it would be fun to take her family and go also. My first initial reaction is great. It will be very memorable. But upon further thinking, it could be scary. First of all, we are paying for my mom to go to babysit for us. My mom has even voiced concerns about her going. She feels that she'll always need to be with us incase we want her to watch the girls. This isn't true, but she feels that way. This worst part is that my brother-in-law is very stubborn and selfish. He thinks mainly of himself. My sister is a very laid back person who is never on time for anything. When my sister told me she was thinking of going with me, I told her it was great. However, I told her that we had our trip planned out, and if they didn't want to do something with us, that was fine, but we were going to do it anyway. Second of all, I told her I wouldn't spend every minute of our vacation with her.

I think that since I had the vacatioin planned first, I have the right to be that way. Wow, dont' I sound mature Honestly, though, if your sister decides to go with you on your vacation, that is fine. However, you have spent a lot of money and time on this trip, and I don't think that you have to rearrange everything for her. If it bothers you so much that you don't think you can have a good vacation, then you should say something to her. Otherwise, just make it clear to her that you will do your own thing even if she is there.

 

[mrssalvaggio]

The suggestions from crisi sound perfect! I would say definitely send it in writing (so you get your say w/o interruptions, and she has time to digest it), then talk to her about it. I get the feeling #5 might be a hard one for you, but it certainly gets the point across. Even for my favorite place away from home, still WDW would not be worth risking causing any type of temporary (or God forbid permanent) rift with family. If you can get this off your chest and your sister is agreeable (presented that way it would be hard for her not to), then you can stop stressing and start looking forward to making wonderful memories for everyone

 

[veraletta]

I think you have to be up front with everyone.
you do know that your're going to have share your mom..
Lets face it.. It would be nice to have your mom to your self, but so unfair for your mom to be in the middle of her kids..

I think that you need to make up a planner and give it to your sister.
I would say, here is what we are going to be doing, if you want to come your welcome, You will need some radio's to keep in touch with each other, I would ask them, to some of the meal not all.
You will need some time alone and I would tell her that up front before you go. not after your at the park.

We go every two years I have three children, which two of them have children now, Plus yes husbands..
You have to remmeber that your children will not change because you are at disney.. They are what they are..
I have a daughter who I get alone with most of the time and one that's a complainer all of the time.. the complainer always looks to see, if I going to treat her diffent all the time..She wants me to her self. I just let her go off to her self , if she feels that way I cant change her now, she is 24 years old.
But what I do, do is right up front I write up what I'm going to see and about what time, then I give them all radio's, I keep in touch with all of them and Let them know where I'm going to eat, those who want to come , come.
You have to know one thing is I do see every thing, even the things or rides I dont like , I plan them as someone esle may want to see them.. I let them all know if you need me to watch the kids, call me on the radio and i will let you know, where I'm at.
I tell them all, you need breaks from me, and I do need breaks from you.
I want you all to enjoy the parks, but remmeber your family comes first. So if your're husband's want you go to the water park, then go..
You can see me later, I'm not going any where and we dont have to do every thing together.

I would tell her that you are all to act like its your own trip, heck you all paid a lot of money to go. so go enjoy your selves.
if you have trouble with your brother in law, you need to tell your sister.. its her husband and its up to her to take care of it.
That what I tell all my kids..They are not aloud to fight with in laws.. and in laws are to stay out of fights, that my kids have with each other.
As I see it my kids are brother and sisters and they are going to fight. they have done it all their life, they grew up fighting and they will die fighting.. I just hope that the fights are less now, as they are adults now.. I set ground rules before I go.I dont owe them any thing and they dont owe me any thing. so lets go to the park and have fun.
So Plan, take radios, keep how you feel about others out of it, spents some time together, not all the time, as it would be nice to be able to spent every day, and all day together, but its is some thing that would be asking a lot of, even if that person happen to be a saint..

 

[chamonix]

I have a dd who has special needs similar to your dd and I know that you will (maybe/probably/possibly) need help with her at WDW if she is autistic. I know that's what you mean by *not wanting to share your mom* you don't mean it as one sister to another, but that you planned your trip knowing that your mom would be there to help you with *your daughter*, and now, if sister and niece are there too, she might feel like spending time with them too--and that leaves you without a helper. I think that you got lots of good advice upthread about how to deal with your sister, but I think you also need to talk to your mom about what you expect your needs to be in regards to her helping you with dd. Make it very clear how much and what kinds of help you will need.
I know my parents are little to no help with my dd when their other granddaughter is around. They're not bad people, and they don't even notice it, or mean for it to happen, it just does. So I understand completely about *sharing* your mom--I mean, sharing your mom's assistance with your dd.

(don't wory too much though--my dd does great at disney and always comes home having made progress!)

 

[hookedup]

COMMUNICATION

Usually the answer to most situations that need to be worked out.

You need to tell both your sister and mom how you feel (tactfully of course) ahead of time. Then stop worrying about it and enjoy your planning and your trip. If you find your sister is not following your pre-laid out ground rules once the vacation begins remind her about your pre-trip discussion and do it immeadiately upon having an issue. Don't wait until things get too out of hand.

Active & constant communication will usually pave the way to aviod misunderstandings and keep the drama to a minimum.

Good luck & have an awesome trip!