Wow! What a lot to process! I really wish we could all be there to have a cup of coffee/margarita/whatever and help you hash it all out. But since we can't, here is my two cents.
Wouldn't that be lovely!? But this is an ok 2nd best...
The main thing that stuck out to me is I wouldn't leave Zach alone with the in-laws. Moving back to the states will be enough of a transition without them adding to his stress. At least with you there, you can be a buffer even if you are living with them for a little while. As for the house thing and the move, I understand why you had to wait for DH to make the decision and the move but I would put my foot down on the in-law thing. It would be ideal if they did not have to live with you at all but if they have to live with you there has to be a firm timeline on when they will be out and firm boundaries (otherwise they might drive you and your kids insane).
Good advice!! Setting perameters and guidelines is a good thing to do, even if you are starting out with your best friend!! I cannot even imagine what she's going to do when the first thing I do is change the wallpaper.
As for education, to me it looks like you have done a great job so far so I am sure the choices you make will be right for each child. I really applaud you for recognizing that Zach needs more help than you are able to give. I know a few parents that stick their heads in the sand instead of recognizing there may be an issue and working on helping their child.
He really does. It's beyond me at this point, and just to hear and see some new ideas would be well worth it!
As for the trip, I think time will tell as you know more about the move and you will know what is right for you and your family. As it stands right now and based on the information you have given us, I would probably postpone the trip for a little while. However, a lot can change in the next several months and you know you, your family and your situation best.
I know that your heart, your faith and time will lead you in the right direction and to the right choices for all of you.
You are so right. But, the one thing I have going for me at this point, is that I still will have to go out to Kentucky to help my son get settled into university and sign papers, etc.... Why make 2 trips east??
That's alot to have on your plate. I can't imagine living with the in-laws though.
While moving a few years ago, I needed to stay with my own parents for a couple of months while work was being done on my new place. Slowest few months of my life, and I adore my parents. I can't imagine having to do it with someone else's.
She especially is a very dogmatic sort of person, so getting along with her is pretty tough. And I'd consider myself pretty easy-going.
First and foremost you are in my heart as you navigate through this. As I have faith in HIM to steer you through, I also have tremendous faith in YOU.
A few thoughts in no particular order.
Speech therapy. Apparently the criteria (at least here) by which they measure progress counts 2nd grade as a significant speech milestone so many many things that would not previously qualify as needing help, the assumption being that it will resolve itself, when it doesn't now becomes qualified. Eric, and 2 other classmates, qualified at the end of last year and it was not something I was even looking for or had occurred to me (lame I know). Basically he has issues with his "th" sounds. "That" sounds like "dat" and so on.
He is understandable, well to me anyway, and it just makes him sound immature. Which, well, he is lol. At any rate I am only providing this example to show if something as mild as that, qualifies, I really bet Zach will do, especially if you push a little. I think the key though is to be patient with the process. Which is long.
That makes total sense! Zach's most major issue is stuttering, but on top of that he cannot make a complete sentence, often speaks completely off-topic, and can't say 'r's. REally it's almost like an apraxia or even autism spectrum sort of thing.
We do ok at interpreting, but when he is around other English speakers, no one can understand him.
Which brings me to my 2nd point. Timing. The IEP process is LOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGGGG. It took almost 5 months after being identified as a need. Now in Zach's case you'll walk in asking for testing but still. If you arrive only 1 week before school starts you'll probably be lucky to get him any help by Christmas. I imagine it isn't possible to somehow get him tested before school lets out this year so I'd just factor that in. You might be able to talk to the district and find out what you can do from there so that he is set up when you arrive, I would definitely look into it. I agree, you don't want to start him out in a hard situation and if he can start therapy at the same time as public school it would help. I have no idea about services if you homeschool but definitely ask them about that too!
I wouldn't leave the kids with your in law's either, just too much transition, MIL issues are just icing on that cake.
Regarding starting school late, it really depends on the grade whether it's much of an issue and I can't recall what grades they all would be come fall!. Elementary school, not much of an issue. Later than that? It could be. It may be better to wait and put them in at the next logical break based on the grading periods, when new classes start for both MS and HS.
Anara would likely be in 3rd (as per her age, she'll be 8), Zach- who knows?? He reads at about a 3rd grade level, but should be in 5th.
Mikki will be in 10th, and I'm almost 100% sure I'll keep homeschooling her. Bekka will be a senior, and we're leaning toward leaving her here to finish up as per her own request.
Yeah, I can see how that would take time. BUT 5 MONTHS?
Then now, I can really see that getting back is no hurry, really. If one or even 2 months is n't going to speed it up, then why put them through the stress of move AND school?
For Bekka. When you talk about CC are you thinking Running Start? I would think that could make a lot of sense for her and perhaps she could take the placement tests from there and you could supplement as needed from home to keep her from graduating late. It's funny, in Running Start they actually have a lot less total classes as the work is much harder, just like in real college, you just have to fulfill the graduation requirements. You've probably already looked into it but she may not need as many classes as you think.
Sounds like what I"ve heard about. A system where they study at CC, and get credits for both finishing HS AND for college. We've had many friends do it that way, and they have actually graduated HS with an AA degree. Like you say, you just have to make sure they are getting the right amount of credits, and than can be hard with allt he little electives, like computer lit, gov't., etc...
Your trip. Are Maroo and LeAnn able to move their dates or are they locked in? Your family does need to come first and it sounds like you need to be in 3 places at once!
My gut would be to postpone the trip by a week or 2 to let you get settled, and homeschool through Christmas while you navigate the best options for Zach and Bekka.
I need to call LeeAnn and ask. I think maroo is more flexible.
I think your gut feeling is what's most likely going to happen.
I can tell these decisions are whirling around your head like a duststorm. I know just how you feel. I get that same feeling when I try to figure out my career situation. But you know, you just have to do what you told me: Let the One in charge guide you. Make yourself open to His will and it'll be clear what you should do. Of course, as you know this takes a lot of patience! Its so hard when we want answers now! Praying that you are able to find some quiet in your mind. Just breathe!
they really are!!! Interesting to have a "soul mate" here going through a similar situation. Patience... ah yes, that quality that's so hard to put into practice!
That being said..the puppy is adorable! I really enjoy following your updates there, I hope you'll continue it in a different vein when you're back here in the states. 
Maybe I"ll find your newest hottie there. 
One of your "recommendations" is coming up as a Rations Drop....
So if your next few clues could please be posted only in PMs to directly to me, that would be a great opportunity for me to catch up! 
