Length in time/hrs for Baby Shower UPDATE Post #76 Pg 4

[cijay]

That's the etiquette around here, but I recently went to a shower and it was done in 1 hr and 15 minutes. No food except a cake, tray of cookies and a tray of apples cut up with dip. The only drink option was punch. No water, no coffee. They played two games that they announced there were no prizes for, they opened gifts and that was it. It IMO was a total gift grab.

Typical showers are 3 hours.

Actually, that's about the kind of shower I would like, except the 'no water, no coffee' thing. Never heard of that. Snackies, food and games, I'm not fussy on (particularly the games). Our family showers are more just visits and baby viewing. I thought all showers were gift grabs, that was the point. Otherwise they would just lay back and let people who want to bring gifts to them.

Showers (baby and bridal) have kind of outlived their purpose though, haven't they? Once upon a time you were setting up a household/making changes for a baby. Now people have entire households set up so people are giving them things like small appliances or honeymoon money when they marry and people are buying things like toys for baby showers.

 

[nkereina]

They're mostly "calling showers" where you can come and go anytime during the 2 hours, as you're able. Drop in and say hi and leave, or stay and chat the whole time.

Interesting concept - I kind of like it. Kind of like an open house type thing? Does the hostess open gifts during that time as well?

 

[SC Minnie]

Interesting concept - I kind of like it. Kind of like an open house type thing? Does the hostess open gifts during that time as well?

We call those type showers 'drop ins' and usually last for ~2 hours. Gifts can or cannot be opened it depends on the guest of honor. I've seen it done both ways. There is always food at drop ins but mostly appetizer type foods. There can be punch/sodas/water/coffee/tea/wine depends on the hostess and guest of honor. I despise shower games and will make an excuse not to do them.

 

[aprilchem]

I've never been to a shower that was more than 2 hours long. Honestly, I don't think I'd go to a shower longer than that - I don't have time on the weekends for a 3 hour affair.

 

[BadgerGirl84]

2 Hours seems short to me--I've never been in and out of a bridal or baby shower within two hours. Showers that I go to are usually scheduled to include a full lunch. That said, it's up to the host to determine the details of the party and I wouldn't really care or raise a stink if the shower was short.

 

[samheatherwhite]

I have never been to a shower with a meal. Here they are all about 2-3 hours, usually in the morning, and small snacks are served. They are considered come and go. Close family friends stay the whole time and then help clean up. Other guests come in and out.

 

[Minnesota!]

That is pretty much unheard of around here- it doesn't matter if shower/party is 1pm, 3pm, 8pm- there is always a meal involved.

Here, too.

2 Hours seems short to me--I've never been in and out of a bridal or baby shower within two hours. Showers that I go to are usually scheduled to include a full lunch. That said, it's up to the host to determine the details of the party and I wouldn't really care or raise a stink if the shower was short.

I know you are in the Midwest (go Gophers ), and the same holds true here. 3 - 4 hours, always a meal of some sort. First hour is chit chat, then games, then lunch, then gifts, then coffee and cake, and chit chat while people get ready to leave.

 

[Pooh2]

Never been to a shower with a time limit but 2 hours sounds about perfect!

 

[disneypanda11]

I'd love to attend a shower if I knew it would wrap up in 2 hours. Every shower I've attended are elaborate affairs that have seemed to last FOR-EV-ER! I'm talking 3-4 hours minimum with a sit down meal, socializing, games, sloooww present opening, etc. The last shower I attended was actually a bridal shower that was an hour away, lasted about 4.5 hours, then an hour home. I love the idea of a drop-in shower; to the best of my knowledge, those aren't common around here. Wish they were!!

 

[shoney]

3 hours is common.
Most showers (bridal and baby) are held in restaurants and they offer a 3 hour package. Guests are offered drinks (punch, wine, beer).
The guest of honor usually arrives about 30 minutes later. Everyone yells "surprise" although it rarely is one, but everyone plays the game.
A meal is always served regardless of the time. Presents are opened. Cake is served than time to go home. Games may or not be played.

If there is a house shower, things go just about the same.

I rarely see an ending time on an invitation unless it is a party for kids....a kid's friend party not a family/family friend party.

 

[Claire&TheBoys]

Interesting concept - I kind of like it. Kind of like an open house type thing? Does the hostess open gifts during that time as well?

In my circle, there are usually anywhere from 6-12 hostesses for a shower and everyone brings at least 1 food item and often 2 each. We are Southern - food is important! There's almost always coffee frappe, water and punch available (we're Baptist - no alcohol). Fruit trays, veggie platters, cheese straws, mini pecan pies, chips and dips, cookies, brownies -- everyone has their specialty and brings it. (Side note: 3 young men from our church have gotten married this year and they were the first men ever to attend the church bridal showers with their brides. All 3 of them were amazed at the food spread at each shower and were overheard commenting about the mass quantities.) Most of these showers have guest lists of 75-100 ladies, though, so it's not some small intimate party.

Typically, the honoree and her family show up maybe 15 minutes before the guests are to arrive. Once people start arriving, say at 2:00, we chit-chat and mingle and eat. After about a half-hour, the honoree takes her spot and begins opening gifts. She continues until she's done. People come and go as they are able. Some will sit and watch every gift being unwrapped, some will continue to hover near the food tables and eat. Since there are multiple hostesses, some of them are usually helping take gifts to a holding area for display, some are keeping food refreshed and picking up abandoned dishes.

It's a very laid-back type of atmosphere.

ETA: All the showers I go to are in homes.

 

[CPanther95]

I don't know how all you women can handle all these obligations and expectations - especially when there are so many opinions on what is, or is not appropriate. Seems like a decent percentage of people are always going to be complaining no matter what you do as a host - or guest.

Personally, I'd tell them that I can either show up with a nice gift - or if they don't try and encourage me to show up, I'll send them the nice gift plus a card with $100 in it for not disturbing one of the few free Saturdays I have available in a year.

 

[belle032]

I love the idea of a 2 hour shower! I just went to one last Saturday and it ran close to 4 hours. Invitation said it started at 1PM which in actuality, nothing started happening until 2PM. Then games, lunch, more games and presents. It was a beautiful Saturday and we were stuck inside watching someone open gifts that were basically the same thing over and over. Because really, how many unique items do moms receive at a shower? Clothes, diapers, bath items, a few little toys...rinse & repeat. It took wayyyy tooooo long.

One of the best showers I went to specifically asked all gifts to be unwrapped. Everyone just basically put a gift basket together and the mother went around and thanked everyone personally. We were in and out in 2 hours. It was perfect. I understand honoring the mom-to-be and I'm happy to send a gift, but honestly, baby showers are extremely boring.

 

[Mokat76]

I would PAY to get out in 2 hours or less. If I were the hostess (highly unlikely) and someone tried to linger, I'd gently but firmly show them to the door. Two hours is plenty. Ugh.

 

[MickeySP]

Actually, that's about the kind of shower I would like, except the 'no water, no coffee' thing. Never heard of that. Snackies, food and games, I'm not fussy on (particularly the games). Our family showers are more just visits and baby viewing. I thought all showers were gift grabs, that was the point. Otherwise they would just lay back and let people who want to bring gifts to them.

Showers (baby and bridal) have kind of outlived their purpose though, haven't they? Once upon a time you were setting up a household/making changes for a baby. Now people have entire households set up so people are giving them things like small appliances or honeymoon money when they marry and people are buying things like toys for baby showers.

Not really true. There are some couples who actually haven't set up household before marriage. I have never actually been to a 1st baby shower that was a gift grab, they were celebrations of babies. Now a 2nd child shower is a gift grab.

I don't know how all you women can handle all these obligations and expectations - especially when there are so many opinions on what is, or is not appropriate. Seems like a decent percentage of people are always going to be complaining no matter what you do as a host - or guest.

Personally, I'd tell them that I can either show up with a nice gift - or if they don't try and encourage me to show up, I'll send them the nice gift plus a card with $100 in it for not disturbing one of the few free Saturdays I have available in a year.

Mostly ladies but sometimes it is Jack & Jill. The one for DGD was, we had a blast since she was my first GD & the other sides only girl.

Always serve food & drinks, last about 3 hrs.

 

[gotomu212]

We call those type showers 'drop ins' and usually last for ~2 hours. Gifts can or cannot be opened it depends on the guest of honor. I've seen it done both ways. There is always food at drop ins but mostly appetizer type foods. There can be punch/sodas/water/coffee/tea/wine depends on the hostess and guest of honor. I despise shower games and will make an excuse not to do them.

We call these "Sip and Sees". this started about 5 years ago in my social circle (big extended family as well as friends). If it's for a baby they wait until after the baby is born and then it's a little party where you stop in during a 2 hour block and see the baby and enjoy drinks and some kind of spread (typically a buffet of heavier appetizers). If it's for a marriage it's before the wedding and you're seeing the groom but same set up. It has taken SO MUCH PRESSURE OFF for everyone and guests love it. It's more laid back and you aren't just sitting around staring at someone unwrapping gifts.

 

[cijay]

Not really true. There are some couples who actually haven't set up household before marriage. I have never actually been to a 1st baby shower that was a gift grab, they were celebrations of babies. Now a 2nd child shower is a gift grab.



Mostly ladies but sometimes it is Jack & Jill. The one for DGD was, we had a blast since she was my first GD & the other sides only girl.

Always serve food & drinks, last about 3 hrs.

That's what I want to see - celebration of the babies, not gifts. I want to see the baby and mom (and dad), hold the baby, make stupid noises at it for awhile then pass it along for someone else to do the same. Then have a cup of tea or something. The thing about gifts at a shower for a second baby - depends on the age difference between "Thing 1 and Thing 2" (LOL). A lot of baby needs expire and need to be replaced. If there's a few years between them, something as simple as a Snuggie could be outdated. (This is according to the law not me, I had a crib with lead paint and a pram with bare springs and metal up the hoo-hah.)

I don't remember the last couple I knew who got married straight out of their parents' homes with no household things to their name. Granted, most of the people I know getting married are on their second or third marriages either. I don't mind helping set up a house with something they need (a set of everyday dishes, towels or bathroom accessories) but I'm not 'furnishing' it with appliances, nor am I buying a honeymoon.

 

[MickeySP]

That's what I want to see - celebration of the babies, not gifts. I want to see the baby and mom (and dad), hold the baby, make stupid noises at it for awhile then pass it along for someone else to do the same. Then have a cup of tea or something. The thing about gifts at a shower for a second baby - depends on the age difference between "Thing 1 and Thing 2" (LOL). A lot of baby needs expire and need to be replaced. If there's a few years between them, something as simple as a Snuggie could be outdated. (This is according to the law not me, I had a crib with lead paint and a pram with bare springs and metal up the hoo-hah.)

I don't remember the last couple I knew who got married straight out of their parents' homes with no household things to their name. Granted, most of the people I know getting married are on their second or third marriages either. I don't mind helping set up a house with something they need (a set of everyday dishes, towels or bathroom accessories) but I'm not 'furnishing' it with appliances, nor am I buying a honeymoon.

ITA agree with age difference, should have thought of that. I had a friend who had one for her third child, 14 year difference(thought she was nuts at 42) but you are right.

I think since I see all my DS's friends in that category & with student loans. I see it as giving them the extras they just can't do themselves. Yeah doing my 2nd & would only do a shower if there was a give to charity involved.

 

[shoney]

That's what I want to see - celebration of the babies, not gifts. I want to see the baby and mom (and dad), hold the baby, make stupid noises at it for awhile then pass it along for someone else to do the same. Then have a cup of tea or something. The thing about gifts at a shower for a second baby - depends on the age difference between "Thing 1 and Thing 2" (LOL). A lot of baby needs expire and need to be replaced. If there's a few years between them, something as simple as a Snuggie could be outdated. (This is according to the law not me, I had a crib with lead paint and a pram with bare springs and metal up the hoo-hah.)

I don't remember the last couple I knew who got married straight out of their parents' homes with no household things to their name. Granted, most of the people I know getting married are on their second or third marriages either. I don't mind helping set up a house with something they need (a set of everyday dishes, towels or bathroom accessories) but I'm not 'furnishing' it with appliances, nor am I buying a honeymoon.

Second baby showers aren't the norm around here in our circle, unless there is a very large gap or multiples and even then it tends to be only very close family friends. Showeres are traditionally First baby only.

I've never went to a shower where the baby attended. They are always before the birth. Depending on how close I am I will visit the hospital or home when they are ready for visitors. Some babies I meet at their first birthday party!

You are right, most couples aren't going from their parents home to their own like years ago. They already have the essentials. I guess if they have had that toaster for a while they deserve a new one! LOL

My SIL remarried a few years ago and we didn't throw her a shower. She had a house and so did her new DH.

 

[NewRVLady]

I don't remember the last couple I knew who got married straight out of their parents' homes with no household things to their name. Granted, most of the people I know getting married are on their second or third marriages either. I don't mind helping set up a house with something they need (a set of everyday dishes, towels or bathroom accessories) but I'm not 'furnishing' it with appliances, nor am I buying a honeymoon.

My son & Fiancee each own a home-each has "hand me down" pots & pans, cheap dishes , cheap toaster etc
so its nice to 'start fresh"with dishes, wine glasses, flatwear that they BOTH like and selected