Leaving Infant in the car.....

[BCDisneyFanatic]

Your kids are teens/tweens. They can protect themselves. Completely different than leaving an infant alone in a car.

Did you read the second paragraph?

And your last comment was:

NEVER. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER. If you can't take the baby/child out of the car with you, then don't go. Period.

What is your definition of 'child'? It seems like some posters consider 10/12 year olds to be children that are too young to be left unattended in a car, which is why I posted the info in the first paragraph.

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

(Or why a 16 y.o. can't stay alone in a car with younger sibs while parked in his own driveway? Rough neighbourhood?)

Guess I should have clarified that. DS16 sits in the car while in the driveway or at a store. If DS16 isn't with me then no, the little kids don't sit in the car in the driveway. I don't live in a bad neighborhood but I do live in a busy road that is the only road with access to 2 major towns. Lots of people walk that major road to get from one town to the other because we live out far enough that there is no public transportation. Some of those people are not of sound mind.
One attempted to talk to DS16 at the bus stop at the end of the driveway last week at 6am. DS16 was fast enough to bolt back into the house. I can not see the car from the house because my garage blocks my view. What would have stopped that man from stealing my car and/or my kids if I had left them out there to get something???

 

[marcyinPA]

If someone takes the keys out of the car, and goes into the dry cleaners, pizza place, etc., what is the infant not being protected FROM?

No one is talking about leaving a baby in a car in a big parking lot and going into Target to get 10 things.

Stuff happens. There are crazy people out there. Personally, I wouldn't be willing to take the chance.

 

[Pooh Crew]

Mother of five here weighing in. Never left any of mine anywhere in a car alone. Just not worth the risk to me. Three of my five are triplets, so I can understand the trouble of dragging a baby into a store for a two second errand, but I either took everyone in with me or I didn't go. I could unload and set up my limo of a stroller faster than most people can unhook their own seatbelts! Lol

Saw a story on the news years ago where a woman ran into a convenience store and left her son in the car. A guy jumped into the car and started backing out (can't remember if he hotwired the car or if mom left keys), and boy tried to escape with mom trying to pull him from the vehicle. He got caught in the seatbelt and was dragged to death. That poor mother's face was burned into my brain. I want to say he was around seven, but I honestly can't remember.

Edited to add: I'm obviously not talking about older teens...just younger kids.

 

[BCDisneyFanatic]

One attempted to talk to DS16 at the bus stop at the end of the driveway last week at 6am. DS16 was fast enough to bolt back into the house. I can not see the car from the house because my garage blocks my view. What would have stopped that man from stealing my car and/or my kids if I had left them out there to get something???

What did he attempt to talk to your DS about, that he had to rush back into the house? Did he threaten your son? If so, that would be pretty disconcerting and I could see why you might be nervous.

 

[marcyinPA]

Did you read the second paragraph?

And your last comment was:



What is your definition of 'child'? It seems like some posters consider 10/12 year olds to be children that are too young to be left unattended in a car, which is why I posted the info in the first paragraph.

Yes, I read it.

And

I wouldn't leave anyone alone in a car who could not handle themselves effectively in an emergency situation. For some kids, that might be 8- for some, maybe not until they are 11/12. But I certainly would not leave a child under the age of 7 alone in the car, whether they are belted into a car seat and locked up tighter than Fort Knox or not. There are crazy people out there. Why take the chance?

(fwiw, we had a recent near abduction of a 13 year old boy in my neighborhood. It was daylight, and he was walking from a local market to his home. Stuff happens. Who's to say some nutjob wouldn't break your car window to get to your kids? It only takes a second when you aren't looking.)

 

[design_mom]

Equals? There is not much 'equal' about a 12 and 7 year old. I used to babysit for my little brother from the time I was 11 and he was 2. My parents both worked. I think that assuming responsibilities for "someone else's" kids is a bigger deal.

I know what he meant. I don't leave my 12 year old in charge of my 8 year old either. The 8 year old sees herself as an "equal" to the 12 year old (they're both "the kids") and I am not sure she'd listen to him. The 8 year old is pretty headstrong. The 12 year old would get upset at the challenge to his authority. It would not be a good situation.

On the other hand, I think my 12 year old would be fine babysitting other 8 year olds... and my 8 year old would probably be fine for another 12 year old babysitter (anyone except her brother.)

I think your situation is a little different -- you had a 9 year age difference, and the babysitter/babysittee relationship was already cemented by the time your little brother knew any better.

 

[cornflake]

I know what he meant. I don't leave my 12 year old in charge of my 8 year old either. The 8 year old sees herself as an "equal" to the 12 year old (they're both "the kids") and I am not sure she'd listen to him. The 8 year old is pretty headstrong. The 12 year old would get upset at the challenge to his authority. It would not be a good situation.

On the other hand, I think my 12 year old would be fine babysitting other 8 year olds... and my 8 year old would probably be fine for another 12 year old babysitter (anyone except her brother.)

I think your situation is a little different -- you had a 9 year age difference, and the babysitter/babysittee relationship was already cemented by the time your little brother knew any better.

Yeah but while I can see why you thus wouldn't leave them home for the evening alone - in a car in the driveway? Or while you went into the market? If one was that peeved, or there was a fight, they could just get out and go inside.

 

[design_mom]

Yeah but while I can see why you thus wouldn't leave them home for the evening alone - in a car in the driveway? Or while you went into the market? If one was that peeved, or there was a fight, they could just get out and go inside.

The post that mine was referring to (and the one that the one I quoted was referring to) were kind of a tangent about siblings babysitting each other.

Mine was the first response in this thread where I said in certain situations I *might* consider leaving an infant in the car. (Don't remember actually doing it to enter a store, but I definitely did to drop something off at someone's house, etc... where I might have stood on the doorstep talking for a few minutes, etc.) Probably still wouldn't leave my kids in the car if I was going "shopping," but definitely would for an in-and-out thing where I could see the car.

 

[Skip2MyLou]

No. This just happened yesterday about an hour from me, and luckily ended on a happy note. Child is back with mom & bad guy has been arrested, but could have easily been a different story. You just never know. The mother was on the news tonight saying she knows she was wrong to leave her 7 yr old in the car.


http://www.newschannel5.com/story/20312716/police-say-man-stole-car-with-7-year-old-inside

 

[aprilgail2]

Wow, where do you live? I was babysitting at 12.

My daughter has been babysitting since she was 12 too- usually for people on our block, some nights its until 12-1am

I know what he meant. I don't leave my 12 year old in charge of my 8 year old either. The 8 year old sees herself as an "equal" to the 12 year old (they're both "the kids") and I am not sure she'd listen to him. The 8 year old is pretty headstrong. The 12 year old would get upset at the challenge to his authority. It would not be a good situation.

.

I would nip that in the bud asap and let her know in no uncertain terms that when you are not there then he is in charge! An 8 year old is in NO way equal to a 12 year old!

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Equals? There is not much 'equal' about a 12 and 7 year old. I used to babysit for my little brother from the time I was 11 and he was 2. My parents both worked. I think that assuming responsibilities for "someone else's" kids is a bigger deal.

Equals as in the little one hearing us say to the older one for years, "you don't get to tell her what to do". That's a little tough to unlearn Our youngest one nearly choked on food 3 or 4 times & required intervention. No way would I have left an 11 year old in charge of her when she was 2, or even now. Glad it worked out for you & your brother, but we're able to push that back a couple years & we fully intend to

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Yeah but while I can see why you thus wouldn't leave them home for the evening alone - in a car in the driveway? Or while you went into the market? If one was that peeved, or there was a fight, they could just get out and go inside.

The going inside looking for Mom/Dad could be the most dangerous part. Gas station parking lots (for example) are pretty chaotic. There are no clear pedestrian-only paths, and in many cases around here the parking lot borders major highways with a 55 MPH speed limit. Even if the kids stay away from the highway, the cars that come barreling into the lot from every direction could be a real hazard. As I said before, I'd probably feel more safe about a child that was UNable to let him/herself out of the car than one that was a little older, but not yet responsible enough to be crossing such a lot on their own.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

(fwiw, we had a recent near abduction of a 13 year old boy in my neighborhood. It was daylight, and he was walking from a local market to his home. Stuff happens.

Same here. 13-year-old boy nabbed in between the bus stop & his house. Kid went to school where my kids go. Thankfully, they found him after a few days. They also found another boy in the sicko's apartment who'd been missing for several years

 

[JoiseyMom]

When DD was a baby, she fell asleep while I drove to the pizza place. I wouldn't leave her in the car (no parking close to stores). I called them on my cell phone and asked if they could bring the pizza out to my car. They did, and took my credit card too .

 

[NHdisneylover]

I left mine buckled in as infants several times to pay for gas (pay at the pump was new and not widely available at that time) or do other very quick things where you could see the car and know you would be fast (pickup a prescription mostly). The risk seems tiny (always with the car locked and keys in my hand and not in heat or sun) and almost certainly smaller than the risk of the car ride itself or of injury crossing the parking lot with me.

I also know car seats are NOT able to hold a child who is wearing a bulky coat or swaeter while buckled in, if there is an accident. Do people who always take their kids out for every 30 second run to the ATM also put them in and out of coats every time? Or do you take them out in the cold (which I can see if it is not too cold, but I recall gettig gas in below zero temps with windchill putting it below minus 10 several times when DD was an infant). Or do you leave your kids in coats, in which case they are in much graver danger while you drive them around town than they are in the minnute someone leaves them in a locked car to pick up a pizza, etc

^^^True *if* you have an automatic transmission.

I have always driven a standard. My current car, a standard, does not allow the transmission to be moved or the parking brake to disengage, no matter which things you hit or which buttons you push unless the keys are INSIDE the vehicle.

My DD11 and DD14 can stay in the car alone whenever they don't want to come into the shops with me, and I certainly don't have any qualms about it. They are responsible, mature kids who know better than to mess with the car's controls, and would be perfectly able to scream bloody murder should someone try to break in/steal the car. I also let each of them walk alone to and from school (about a mile) along busy roads. I will say, though, that we live in a 'safe' community with little crime of any sort.

When my kids were small, I certainly left them in the car when paying for gas, running quickly into a convenience store, or returning my shopping cart. I would be interested in seeing statistics of children injured while walking through parking lots with their mothers vs. being harmed in a car jacking. I suspect the relative risks would be very eye-opening.

I have always thought the same. It is probably safer in the car than crossing the parking lot.

Guess I should have clarified that. DS16 sits in the car while in the driveway or at a store. If DS16 isn't with me then no, the little kids don't sit in the car in the driveway. I don't live in a bad neighborhood but I do live in a busy road that is the only road with access to 2 major towns. Lots of people walk that major road to get from one town to the other because we live out far enough that there is no public transportation. Some of those people are not of sound mind.
One attempted to talk to DS16 at the bus stop at the end of the driveway last week at 6am. DS16 was fast enough to bolt back into the house. I can not see the car from the house because my garage blocks my view. What would have stopped that man from stealing my car and/or my kids if I had left them out there to get something???

One of the people walking along the well traveled road at the end of your driveway spoke to the 16 year old boy? I would think IF that person tried to take him your son screaming and fighting back and attracting the attention of passerby and likely yourself from in the house would stop that from happening.
Is your teen tiny for his age or something?

 

[mhsjax]

The going inside looking for Mom/Dad could be the most dangerous part. Gas station parking lots (for example) are pretty chaotic. There are no clear pedestrian-only paths, and in many cases around here the parking lot borders major highways with a 55 MPH speed limit. Even if the kids stay away from the highway, the cars that come barreling into the lot from every direction could be a real hazard. As I said before, I'd probably feel more safe about a child that was UNable to let him/herself out of the car than one that was a little older, but not yet responsible enough to be crossing such a lot on their own.

Amen. I was pumping gas and I sent my 12 year old in to get his drink for soccer, this nut case went flying through the parking lot, almost hit my son. My son did look and nothing was coming when he started crossing. Other people even commented on how close it was and that idiot better slow down and watcher where he was going.

 

[mrodgers]

I have always driven a standard. My current car, a standard, does not allow the transmission to be moved or the parking brake to disengage, no matter which things you hit or which buttons you push unless the keys are INSIDE the vehicle.

There's not a single manual transmission that has a lock on it to prevent it from being pulled/pushed out of gear. It may be difficult because of the car sitting on an incline and putting a force on the gears, but there is no lockout.

Are cars different over there in Germany?

 

[mjkacmom]

I would nip that in the bud asap and let her know in no uncertain terms that when you are not there then he is in charge! An 8 year old is in NO way equal to a 12 year old!

There is a definite pecking order in our house, based on age. When my oldest starting watching her siblings, her brother, less than 2 years younger, was to listen to her. I always try to make it a point to stagger things like ipod touches, cell phones, bedtimes, etc. I have a friend with girls, 2 years apart, and she always makes sure that if one gets something, the other gets the same thing. I just don't get it.

When I leave the house now, I will yell "be back soon, so-and-so is in charge" based on who is the oldest.

 

[NHdisneylover]

There's not a single manual transmission that has a lock on it to prevent it from being pulled/pushed out of gear. It may be difficult because of the car sitting on an incline and putting a force on the gears, but there is no lockout.

Are cars different over there in Germany?

Not sure f it is a German thing or a new car thing--our 2009 did not have that feature (and t was also leased here) but our 2012 does. We tried to pop it into neutral, with the clutch depressed, to push t a short distance while in the drive this summer and could not get it and eventually realized we needed the keys on us. As soon as the key went into the car we had no issue dong it at all.
Most cars sold here are manual transmissions, so maybe there is more of a push to add safety features to them