Leaving Infant in the car.....

[nchulka]

I see no problem with the scenario the OP observed. As long as the mom turned off and locked the car and had the keys with her the baby was in no danger. I would not leave any baby/child in a running car! I would not leave a baby in a locked car and run into Wal-Mart, but a small place where I could park right out front and see the car I would have no problem with.

It's tough when you are a first time mom! I laugh now at some of the crazy things I worried about! I remember being afraid DD would pull her little sock off and put it in her mouth and suffocate when she was less than a month old Try to follow things out to their logical conclusion and it should alleviate your fears. When people say things like "anything could happen" actually sit down and think about what could really logically happen, and usually you will find the answer is nothing much!

 

[nathalee81]

Not sure it's OK to call it "weird" unless you look back at your very first experience being a first time mom and you can truly say you never did anything overly paranoid or over the top or silly. My baby is only 2 months old & maybe I will relax over time, but when she was first born she had issues breathing (as in stopped breathing at one point)-very scary and I guess it's still on my mind.

But really, I am reading other posters saying they left the car to pump gas for a few minutes and kept their eye on their child the whole time, ran into the store for a few minutes and watched through the window the whole time, left their kid in the car in the driveway while they slept and their eyes were glued to the window.....how is that any different than me going up a flight of stairs to the restroom for a few minutes and bringing the monitor with me? Are you saying these other posters are weird as well???

Don't worry, I think is relatively normal first time parent behavior. My husband and I haven't been around a lot of babies, so we were so freaked out about EVERYTHING. As we were leaving the hospital, I asked if we could take one of the nurses with us .

As for leaving her in the car-I don't think I would feel comfortable doing that.

However, I do think it is all about your comfort level as a parent. I wouldn't be comfortable doing this, but if someone else does then it isn't my call to say anything (unless, of course, if the child is in danger-like, locked in car with no air and it is 104 degrees outside-something like that).

 

[minniebride]

I see no problem with the scenario the OP observed. As long as the mom turned off and locked the car and had the keys with her the baby was in no danger. I would not leave any baby/child in a running car! I would not leave a baby in a locked car and run into Wal-Mart, but a small place where I could park right out front and see the car I would have no problem with.

It's tough when you are a first time mom! I laugh now at some of the crazy things I worried about! I remember being afraid DD would pull her little sock off and put it in her mouth and suffocate when she was less than a month old Try to follow things out to their logical conclusion and it should alleviate your fears. When people say things like "anything could happen" actually sit down and think about what could really logically happen, and usually you will find the answer is nothing much!

Thank you for understanding and relating to first time mom fears & thank you for the advice. I am alot less paranoid now that she is two months old, as compared to early on. The first month, she seemed so fragile, I watched her like a hawk and worried about everything. I do find my handheld video/audio monitor so useful though. Now that I have it, I can leave her to nap and get a ton of housework done, sit in our home office and get stuff done for my work, etc... and just have the handheld monitor near me to refer to if needed.

 

[nathalee81]

I see no problem with the scenario the OP observed. As long as the mom turned off and locked the car and had the keys with her the baby was in no danger. I would not leave any baby/child in a running car! I would not leave a baby in a locked car and run into Wal-Mart, but a small place where I could park right out front and see the car I would have no problem with.

It's tough when you are a first time mom! I laugh now at some of the crazy things I worried about! I remember being afraid DD would pull her little sock off and put it in her mouth and suffocate when she was less than a month old Try to follow things out to their logical conclusion and it should alleviate your fears. When people say things like "anything could happen" actually sit down and think about what could really logically happen, and usually you will find the answer is nothing much!

Oh, thank god. I thought I was the only one that worried about that!

 

[minniebride]

Don't worry, I think is relatively normal first time parent behavior. My husband and I haven't been around a lot of babies, so we were so freaked out about EVERYTHING. As we were leaving the hospital, I asked if we could take one of the nurses with us .

As for leaving her in the car-I don't think I would feel comfortable doing that.

However, I do think it is all about your comfort level as a parent. I wouldn't be comfortable doing this, but if someone else does then it isn't my call to say anything (unless, of course, if the child is in danger-like, locked in car with no air and it is 104 degrees outside-something like that).

I had zero baby experience when my daughter was born. I have a ton of experience with 3 year olds, but taking care of an infant was completely foreign to me up until 2 months ago. I asked my hospital nurse the same thing lol!! The first week at home, I was paranoid anytime she spit up, any time she coughed, etc...

I think, after reading peoples' opinions on this thread, I am leaning toward what you are saying-it all depends on your comfort level as a parent.

 

[hegsag]

I have left my daughter in the car once when I ran into the dry cleaners that had the door wide open & lady standing at the counter. I was literally about 10 feet away from my car that was locked & never had my eyes off the car. The lady at the dry cleaners giggled at me because I was paranoid but didn't want to wake her to grab my husband's clothes that took less than a minute. FTR, I was also the mom that brought the video monitor with me wherever I went & often checked to make sure my daughter was still breathing. A friend of mine had lost her son at 9 weeks to SIDS & I swear I didn't sleep the first year of my daughter's life. Along came number two & I was much more relaxed I've learned over the years that everyone parent's differently & you just have to do what you're comfortable with.

 

[Betsy82]

I have done exactly what this mother in the OP has done.

My children are a year apart. One had health issues and couldn't walk for a long time, yet he was very large and heavy (99th percentile since birth). I couldn't carry him, carry a pizza, and hold my other child's hand.

There were days when I was frazzled, we needed food, and I just didn't have it in me to get home and get them situated and cook and feed them. I would drive to the 1 Little Caesars in town (even if another was closer to wherever we were) where I could park RIGHT outside the door and lock them in. The restaurant has an entirely glass entrance so I could see the car. I'd go in, I'd pay, I'd get my food, I'd be back to the car in 3 minutes. If there was a line I watched the restaurant and waited until there wasn't one.

Very rarely did I have to wait (Did Little Caesars because of the "Hot N Ready") and if I did, I paid and went back to the car. They'd bring the pizza out to me when it was done.

I wouldn't have thought twice about what the mom in the OP did.

But, like a PP said, I would also never park and go into Walmart or even a gas station. Obviously I didn't have my eyes on my kids every single second of my pizza adventure but I am confident they were safe.

 

[cornflake]

I don't see anything wrong with what the person in the OP did.

I do see something wrong with leaving a baby in a car and going to shop inside a supermarket or what have you, where it's farther from the vehicle, there are more things in the parking lot and it will inevitably take more time.

Parking and leaving a sleeping baby or strapped-in or sleeping tiny kid in a car and walking over to grab take-out or pay for gas or drop off or pick up dry cleaning or whatever? I don't see the issue. Smaller lot, much closer, usually in view of the vehicle, much quicker and easier to leave.

The not leaving (or only leaving for a moment in the driveway) like 10-, 12-year-olds - and UP! - in parked cars alone I cannot begin to fathom.

 

[FlyingDumbo]

Not sure it's OK to call it "weird" unless you look back at your very first experience being a first time mom and you can truly say you never did anything overly paranoid or over the top or silly. My baby is only 2 months old & maybe I will relax over time, but when she was first born she had issues breathing (as in stopped breathing at one point)-very scary and I guess it's still on my mind.

But really, I am reading other posters saying they left the car to pump gas for a few minutes and kept their eye on their child the whole time, ran into the store for a few minutes and watched through the window the whole time, left their kid in the car in the driveway while they slept and their eyes were glued to the window.....how is that any different than me going up a flight of stairs to the restroom for a few minutes and bringing the monitor with me? Are you saying these other posters are weird as well???

I think your just a normal first time mom. I am pregnant with my first and I suspect I'll be just like that. The amount of worry is at a whole new level for me and and n can't imagine how hard it will be take my eyes off the baby to shower or pee. Better safe than sorry.

 

[MrsDuck]

I don't *think* I'd do it. No kids yet so I guess I'm really not qualified to say!

 

[scrapquitler]

Was the guy charged with kidnapping then? Since he admitted that he knew the kid was in the car and deliberately took the kid, I hope the DA charges him with kidnapping and not just car jacking. Two wrongs do not make a right.

I also hope the father, (while wrong for leaving the kid,) files a case in civil court for mega-zillion bucks of personal distress for the hours his kid was taken, so that the guy can never pay for even legal, over the counter drugs again.

I'm not saying the dad deserves money, just that if the kidnapper is stupid enough to say he was teaching the dad a lesson, he should know his "deed" is not without consequences.

I had to look it up because I wasn't sure what charges were filed. Apparently, the charges were second degree kidnapping, risk of injury to a minor, second degree larceny and operating with a suspended license.
http://www.newbritainherald.com/articles/2012/12/07/news/doc50c29534735ca542182476.txt

I haven't seen anything (at least not yet) about the parent being charged for leaving the child in the running car.

 

[khertz]

It's illegal here in Louisiana, but I wouldn't do it anyway. I guess I just don't see how watching them from the window is any safer...Are you going to be able to do anything if someone steals your car or another car plows into yours? It's just not a risk I'm willing to take, so DS2 comes in everywhere with me, even if it is only for a quick second.

Although I have to say, OP, I did laugh a little, taking the video monitor into the bathroom with you seems a little much! But I'm sure I've done some things as a first time mom that other people would find excessive.

 

[Andtototoo]

Aside from the risk of a car being stolen or someone kidnapping your kid, there is also the little matter of the damage your kid could do when they are loose in your car.

About 10 years ago, the front end of a parked car in the church parking lot sustained quite a bit of damage because a 5 year old left alone in her mother's car decided to get out of her car seat and "pretend to drive". She successfully got it out of PARK. Because her car was at the church door, which is on an incline above the rest of the property, the car went downhill, picking up speed and hit a car. Luckily, she just hit a car with no one in it and didn't hit anyone walking by, run into a tree (which line the driveway) or get badly hurt herself. It was a miracle that no one was hurt as it was shortly before church started and the odds were in favor of someone being in the way. The mother begged the car owner not to contact their insurance company to report it and so paid out of pocket to repair the car.

My favorite part of it was that the mother had done this several times and people had argued with her about it and she kept insisting that she was keeping an eye on her daughter, but yet didn't know about the accident until someone came running into the church with the news. Keeping an eye on her? Yeah, a blind eye.

 

[mjkacmom]

Aside from the risk of a car being stolen or someone kidnapping your kid, there is also the little matter of the damage your kid could do when they are loose in your car.
.

I'd never leave a younger child in a vehicle - my kids all had to come with me - because I didn't trust them (ok, ds9). I wouldn't have the same concern with an infant.

 

[kamik86]

It's illegal here in Louisiana, but I wouldn't do it anyway. I guess I just don't see how watching them from the window is any safer...Are you going to be able to do anything if someone steals your car or another car plows into yours? It's just not a risk I'm willing to take, so DS2 comes in everywhere with me, even if it is only for a quick second.

Ok I agree that people shouldn't leave kids unattended but devils advocate here:

1) So are you ok with leaving a sleeping 12 year old in the back of the car? When you run into the gas station during a late night errand? Do you think someone is less likely to steal your car with an older child then a younger one?

2) This one is the worst reason I have heard yet. How would you have prevented harm to your child had you been sitting in the car with them when the car ran into you? Your being there is not going to help this one.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

Ok I agree that people shouldn't leave kids unattended but devils advocate here:

1) So are you ok with leaving a sleeping 12 year old in the back of the car? When you run into the gas station during a late night errand? Do you think someone is less likely to steal your car with an older child then a younger one?

2) This one is the worst reason I have heard yet. How would you have prevented harm to your child had you been sitting in the car with them when the car ran into you? Your being there is not going to help this one.

But isn't the alternative to leaving your baby in the car taking them inside with you? I am a true helicopter mom but I never drove to the dry cleaners only to sit outside.

 

[khertz]

Ok I agree that people shouldn't leave kids unattended but devils advocate here:

1) So are you ok with leaving a sleeping 12 year old in the back of the car? When you run into the gas station during a late night errand? Do you think someone is less likely to steal your car with an older child then a younger one?

2) This one is the worst reason I have heard yet. How would you have prevented harm to your child had you been sitting in the car with them when the car ran into you? Your being there is not going to help this one.

Well, to #1, I addressed infants because the OP was about leaving an infant in the car, and I have a toddler.. I don't know what I'd do in the case of an older child because I don't have one. That's a bridge I'll have to cross when I get to it. I apologize for invalidating my post by not addressing all age groups.

To #2, I don't think it's a terrible reason at all. I'm not saying I could prevent anything from happening to my child if I was in the car, but that I wouldn't want to be watching from the window of a store as another car lost control and hit my parked one with my child inside. My child will be in the store with me instead. I can't prevent every possible scenario, but I can do my best to minimize risks. Personally, I would not want to be watching from the window if something were to happen to my car with my child inside it.

 

[kamik86]

But isn't the alternative to leaving your baby in the car taking them inside with you? I am a true helicopter mom but I never drove to the dry cleaners only to sit outside.

True, but its not like people have a problem with leaving an infant in the car with Dad while Mom runs into the dry cleaners.

 

[luvavacation]

My kids are of college age now, and I realize times have changed, but I had no qualms about leaving my colicky child that only slept in the car (yes, would only fall into a good sleep in a moving car or on top of the washing machine during the spin cycle for the first 7 weeks of her life!) while I parked in front of a convenient store and picked up a gallon of milk. There was no way I was waking up that child, not if I still wanted to sleep when I got home (and yes, once in a deep sleep, she could be picked up and put in crib, but it took about an hour!).

I remember my mom leaving me with my little brother in the car while she did her shopping at SS Kresge and the grocery store attached to it. I would take my Barbies and try really hard to keep them from little brother and his drooling mouth while I played with them. This, I never did with my own kids, but when I was little, I remember loving it!

Times sure do change!

 

[Mkrop]

Never in a million years...this is what drive thrus are for! When my kids were little I used the drive thru convience store, the bank, paid at the pump and even found a drive thru pizza place! Even if I had been in the situation that was mentioned in the OP. I would have called the pizza place, told them my dilemma, sleeping kid in car, and I would ask them to bring my order out to me and pay them from there. We even had a drive thru cleaners open up but my kids were older by then

My neighbor made a deal with her dry cleaners, that if she pulled up and the kids were asleep she would beep twice, the nice lady would bring the stuff out and she would pay her that way.