Leaving Baby with Grandma? Anyone Done it?

[Jiminy'sGirl]

We are taking my 7 and 5 year olds to Disney in March over their Spring Break. In the past year they have moved twice, gone to two new schools, and had a baby sister. It has been a crazy year and we wanted to do something special with them and for them to show how proud we are of all they have endured. When we told them we could do anything they wanted, they asked for a trip to WDW (this will be their 4th trip).

I really want to give each of them constant 1:1 attention. I planned from the beginning to leave my (then) 10 month old at home with my Mom and Dad. I think she would have some fun if she were to go and she is a pretty easy baby to tote around, but again - this trip is for the big kids. I don't want to say, "We can't see Wishes tonight, the baby is tired." and things like this. They hear this at home!!

The problem is, I am starting to feel guilty. I know my baby will never remember this trip, whether she goes or not. She knows her grandparents well and loves being with them. But will the guilt eat me alive while we are there??

Has anyone done this before?

PS - We are taking a "family" vacation in November.. A cruise with all 5 of us. This is not a family vacay, but a reward for my older kids who have endured so much (and so well) this past year.

 

[kacaju]

I could not do that. Sorry the baby is just as much family as the other two. With that said...why would they miss out on wishes? Why couldn't you or dh take the baby back to the hotel and le tthe other parent stay with the older two?

 

[Jiminy'sGirl]

Absolutely... She is our family. My older tow have been great with her, but I hate that they hear this all the time:

"Daddy will take you to see The Princess and the Frog, but Mom has to stay home with the baby."

or

"Mommy can come to your school Pumpkin Day, but Daddy can't because he has to stay with the baby." (siblings not allowed at school stuff)

I don't want them to hear anything like that... I really want something all for them. But, like you, I am not sure if I can personally do it. I guess it is like daycare - harder on Mom than the baby, they say!

I just really really really want to do something super special and awesome for my big kids. We mvoed 1000 miles from our hometown in August, they had a new baby sister, and and then we had to move again just three weeks ago. They deserve something extra special. UGh. This is a conundrum!

 

[mjkacmom]

All of the time! Each of my kids has been left home at one point or the other - sometimes all of them. No guilt! My children have the most amazing relationship with my parents, who live in town, and my IL's, an hour away. All have been left with both (ds11 was only 6 weeks when IL's watched him). Dd13 was left several times her first year. They get so excited (well, except dd13 now) when they get to sleep over at the grandparents.

Nothing to feel guilty about - baby gets some loving individual attention from grandparents, grandparents really get to bond with granddaughter, you get a break from diapers, bottles, and crying in the middle of the night (my kids were great sleepers, but my babies would always cry in hotel rooms), and the older kids get some quality time with mom and dad, without baby.

 

[SaraMc]

Anyway that Grandma and Grandpa can go too?

Will your DD sleep in her stroller? Earplugs through Wishes with DS when he was 6 months old and again when he was 2 he slept right through wishes.

 

[Jenny-momof3]

I say as long as you think she'll do okay with grandma then I would leave her.

We took my girls on a trip a few years ago and left my 2 yr. old behind. He did great and my girls really enjoyed the ne on one attention they got. We were out from dawn until midnight and didn't have to take turns taking ds for a nap, earlier to bed, etc.

Was it hard leaving him behind.... yep! And I even tried to find him a flight last minute because I felt so guilty but cheapest was $600! Oncee we got there though I was so glad to have the time with just my girls. And I'm hoping once this new baby is a little older that I'll get to do it again!

 

[DonaldDC]

Last year we left our 1 1/2 year old twins home with Grandma for some one on one time with our 5 year old. Yes, it was hard to leave the babies behind, especially for DW but it was much needed time for us and our 5 year old. As you said the baby won't remember the trip and there will be future trips for all (we're taking everyone next month).

Don't feel guilty. Your boys will appreciate the time with mom and dad together!

 

[KateMW]

I would totally leave a 10 month old at home. There is nothing for them to do at WDW and no way they're going to remember the trip anyway. Your older kids deserve some QUALITY time with y'all after the year they've had. Don't worry and don't feel any guilt. It's a baby!!! They have no idea what they're missing yet!

 

[annette20071]

When my DD was 12 months we took her for a day at Disneyland (I was out that way on business and DD and DH came along). She had a blast. Everything was exciting for her. She had such a good time, we decided to go to Disney World the following year. She actually still goes back and looks at her photo book from the trip.

I think your family dynamic has changed. It is not about punishing or rewarding - there has just been a change and everyone needs to adapt. I personally would take the little one. I am sure you will all have fun. Also, most little ones will be just fine falling asleep in the stroller so that you can still see Wishes etc. Yes, things won't be as easy as it would be if you left the little one with Grandma. That all being said, you are right. Your little one won't remember. I have gotten a lot of flack for taking my DD to Disney World when she was little because "she won't remember". Probably not but we all had a blast while we were there, and I will remember the fun we had, and she still likes looking at the pics.

 

[annette20071]

I just wanted to add - whether baby sister goes or not, this will still be something special for them. A Disney trip is always something special .

You could also let each of them pick one thing they really want to do for their special thing such as a character meal or something. There is so much to see and do, there is no way to do it all. So, as long as they get to do the special thing they chose . . .

 

[frtchr]

I would totally leave a 10 month old at home. There is nothing for them to do at WDW and no way they're going to remember the trip anyway.

I have to respectfully disagree with there being nothing for babies to do. There is plenty for people of ALL ages to enjoy. We took DD at 11 months, and she had a blast! We also took DS when he was 6 months old, and again, he enjoyed himself a lot.

Good luck with your decision, OP! Hope it's a magical trip!

 

[littlbugmom]

We left our then 15 month old with my mom when we took a 5day trip to Disney for the first time. I wrestled with the guilt before the trip and even some while we were there but in the end, I'm glad we made the decision not to bring him because it was best for him. He couldn't have lasted long at a park, he didn't sleep well when hot or overstimulated and from short trips we knew his schedule being out of whack made his days very hard.


It sounds like you are making the decision that is best for your older children right now and imo, that's ok. Families need balance and sometimes a parent has to make a hard decision about how best to keep that balance. You are not hurting their baby sister by not bringing her to WDW.


My mom came to our house to stay with our son. That helped a lot. It made me feel better, knowing my DS was in his own house and bed, surrounded by everything familiar and all of his toys and books.


If you decide to take him, I agree with the poster who said you don't need to make the other children miss anything because your baby is with you. My son is now 5 and has some sensory and OCD issues that make it very important for us to plan our trips with him in mind. During our second trip to Disney, our schedules were pretty much ruled by his needs but that didn't mean anyone had to miss out on anything. It took careful planning but it was an absolute wonderful time. DH and I had to split the kids up quite often because my son just couldn't take being in such a stimulating evironment for very long at one time.....but splitting up also gave each parent some alone time with each child. And that's a good thing!


Good luck deciding. I know it's hard....just do what you think is best for the kids.

 

[allison443]

We are taking my 7 and 5 year olds to Disney in March over their Spring Break. In the past year they have moved twice, gone to two new schools, and had a baby sister. It has been a crazy year and we wanted to do something special with them and for them to show how proud we are of all they have endured. When we told them we could do anything they wanted, they asked for a trip to WDW (this will be their 4th trip).

I really want to give each of them constant 1:1 attention. I planned from the beginning to leave my (then) 10 month old at home with my Mom and Dad. I think she would have some fun if she were to go and she is a pretty easy baby to tote around, but again - this trip is for the big kids. I don't want to say, "We can't see Wishes tonight, the baby is tired." and things like this. They hear this at home!!

The problem is, I am starting to feel guilty. I know my baby will never remember this trip, whether she goes or not. She knows her grandparents well and loves being with them. But will the guilt eat me alive while we are there??

Has anyone done this before?

PS - We are taking a "family" vacation in November.. A cruise with all 5 of us. This is not a family vacay, but a reward for my older kids who have endured so much (and so well) this past year.

You make it sound like having the baby sister was something they "endured" along with moving and changing schools, and they need a "reward" because you are "proud of them" for "enduring" it/her!

That said, I think it would be fine to leave the ten month old at home. I haven't done that, and my three kids are each 4-5 years apart. But it would probably be a lot easier without the stroller, etc.

I would just be careful about saying things that foster resentment among the older kids. Lots of people have younger siblings. To say, only one parent can take you to the movie, or go to pumpkin day, because the other has to stay home with the baby....I mean, isn't that a fact of life when you don't have an only child? Are your kids upset about it, or are you?

You're kind of perpetuating the idea that the trip would be so much better without the little sister. Is that how you want your older kids to feel?

That's just my opinion, please don't be offended. Have a great trip, whatever you decide.

 

[ksjayhawkfan]

Yep I sure have. We left our 6 month old with grandma and took our 8 and 6 year olds. And in March I will be taking 3 out of 4 of the kids for Spring Break.

We took our then 10 month old last May, and it was fun. But this trip is for the older kids to hang out with mom. I get to hang out with the baby every day, all day.

 

[ZPT1022]

You could also let each of them pick one thing they really want to do for their special thing such as a character meal or something. There is so much to see and do, there is no way to do it all. So, as long as they get to do the special thing they chose . . .

I like this idea! We're in a similar position to yours- I have three kids and I'm expecting a baby in April. My older kids will be nearly 9, 6 and 6 (twins) when Baby arrives.

It is definitely going to be a big change for them and what they are used to. Heck, it will be a big change for all of us. Right now it's easy to wake up and decide to head up to Boston to the science museum for the day, or take a picnic or go to a late dinner on the weekend. We will lose some of that flexibility for sure when Baby arrives, but, it is what it is.

That being said, we're planning a trip for August, when Baby will be about 4 months old. This will definitely be a different trip than what we've done in the past, we've never brought such a little one. My mom did offer to take the baby but as I will still be exclusively nursing at that point, there's no way that would work for us. So, we're still going, it will just be a bit different. Not bad, not good, just different. Heck, maybe a slightly more relaxing pace will benefit all of us!

Back to the poster I quoted though- while we are there we are planning some special things that only the big kids will get to participate in. For one thing, we'll be child swapping for the rides that baby can't go on but DH and I both want to go on- this means extra rides for the big kids! Maybe not all of them every time but we'll take turns to make sure that we keep it pretty equal, and who can argue with getting some extra rides in?

We're also planning on having the older kids participate in some events that Baby cannot- Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique for some funky hairdos, the pirate cruise that the kids can take at the Grand Floridian, the bigger kids will probably wind up with more souvenirs, and DH plans to take the oldest out for an EMH night while I either take the smaller kids back to the room, swimming, or maybe for fireworks or something depending on everyone's mood that day. We're also tossing around the idea of letting the kids go to one of the kids clubs at night while DH and I go out for a dinner that they might not be interested in, but that depends on how Baby is once he or she gets here. I think everyone will have a great time and I don't anticipate the older kids will feel that the baby is a hindrance to the trip.

Something else to keep in mind is that at 10 or so months, they are very aware of their surroundings and your little one will likely have a great time. We brought our twins for the first time at 14 months and were surprised how much they enjoyed it! They might not really remember it now but DH and I do and the twins love looking at the pictures from the trip.

All that being said, Grandma time is always fun for kids too, I'm sure you guys will have fun no matter what you decide to do

 

[auralia]

be glad you have family around to help you out with the little one and let grandpa and grandma enjoy her company she has plenty of time to become totally brain washed disney... i didn't even introduce my daughter to mickey mouse until she was 2 and in a mear 4 weeks i had her a total disney addect just in time for our trip.

 

[scrappingizlife]

When we went in 2008, my DD was 4 months old. She stayed with my mom. Everytime I was missing her, my mom would send me a pic of her. Being a mom of three myself, I know how hard it is sometimes to give the older ones the same amount or quality of attention. I would say leave her home. Let the two older ones enjoy themselves. You are doing nothing wrong. I was actually just thinking of taking another WDW trip in Oct for my oldest's 11 birthday, just me and him. Which means my 2 little ones would stay home with daddy.

 

[sk!mom]

Leave the baby and enjoy your older children as planned. It sounds as if you vacation often so there will be lots of times to enjoy it with the baby later.

If you're feeling the need to focus on the older children honor that feeling.

Our children are 11.5 years apart. Due to that wide range, we left DD at 3 months and 13 months to vacation with our DS. They weren't Disney vacations since my DS wasn't a fan but we would have still left her if they had been.

 

[Jiminy'sGirl]

Thanks to everyone who has shared their perspective and thoughts!! It is helping me formulate this decision!

Anyway that Grandma and Grandpa can go too?

Will your DD sleep in her stroller? Earplugs through Wishes with DS when he was 6 months old and again when he was 2 he slept right through wishes.

My parents have zero interest, but I know they would come if I asked them to. I just hate to ask them to spend all that $$ when they'd basically be at the hotel or sitting on a bench... We are taking them on the cruise we are going on this Fall as an anniversary gift, but we can't afford to take them this trip. This one is just a quickie - 4 days, value resort... Just honoring our big kids' wishes!

I say as long as you think she'll do okay with grandma then I would leave her.

We took my girls on a trip a few years ago and left my 2 yr. old behind. He did great and my girls really enjoyed the ne on one attention they got. We were out from dawn until midnight and didn't have to take turns taking ds for a nap, earlier to bed, etc.

Was it hard leaving him behind.... yep! And I even tried to find him a flight last minute because I felt so guilty but cheapest was $600! Oncee we got there though I was so glad to have the time with just my girls. And I'm hoping once this new baby is a little older that I'll get to do it again!

My thoughts exactly when I made this plan last month... Now my 2nd thoughts are kicking in like yours did!!

I would totally leave a 10 month old at home. There is nothing for them to do at WDW and no way they're going to remember the trip anyway. Your older kids deserve some QUALITY time with y'all after the year they've had. Don't worry and don't feel any guilt. It's a baby!!! They have no idea what they're missing yet!

I do think she would enjoy the parades, music, etc... But I agree about the quality time. They have been so good throughout all this upheaval.

When my DD was 12 months we took her for a day at Disneyland (I was out that way on business and DD and DH came along). She had a blast. Everything was exciting for her. She had such a good time, we decided to go to Disney World the following year. She actually still goes back and looks at her photo book from the trip.

I think your family dynamic has changed. It is not about punishing or rewarding - there has just been a change and everyone needs to adapt. I personally would take the little one. I am sure you will all have fun. Also, most little ones will be just fine falling asleep in the stroller so that you can still see Wishes etc. Yes, things won't be as easy as it would be if you left the little one with Grandma. That all being said, you are right. Your little one won't remember. I have gotten a lot of flack for taking my DD to Disney World when she was little because "she won't remember". Probably not but we all had a blast while we were there, and I will remember the fun we had, and she still likes looking at the pics.

Well, we drove home 1107 miles for Christmas and I think the baby slept 3 total hours in the car! She is a great sleeper - just only in her bed!! And I agree about the pics.... Not sure how much my daughter remembers about her first trip, but she loves seeing those pics!

I just wanted to add - whether baby sister goes or not, this will still be something special for them. A Disney trip is always something special .

You could also let each of them pick one thing they really want to do for their special thing such as a character meal or something. There is so much to see and do, there is no way to do it all. So, as long as they get to do the special thing they chose . . .

AWESOME IDEA

I have to respectfully disagree with there being nothing for babies to do. There is plenty for people of ALL ages to enjoy. We took DD at 11 months, and she had a blast! We also took DS when he was 6 months old, and again, he enjoyed himself a lot.

Good luck with your decision, OP! Hope it's a magical trip!

I agree... Iwouldn't be leaving her home because I didn't think she would like it... Some babies (like mine) love all that sensory stuff going on!

You make it sound like having the baby sister was something they "endured" along with moving and changing schools, and they need a "reward" because you are "proud of them" for "enduring" it/her!

That said, I think it would be fine to leave the ten month old at home. I haven't done that, and my three kids are each 4-5 years apart. But it would probably be a lot easier without the stroller, etc.

I would just be careful about saying things that foster resentment among the older kids. Lots of people have younger siblings. To say, only one parent can take you to the movie, or go to pumpkin day, because the other has to stay home with the baby....I mean, isn't that a fact of life when you don't have an only child? Are your kids upset about it, or are you?

You're kind of perpetuating the idea that the trip would be so much better without the little sister. Is that how you want your older kids to feel?

That's just my opinion, please don't be offended. Have a great trip, whatever you decide.

Not at all.... And the kids ahve never once complained about her or shown her anything but love. They've also never complained about moving twice in 6 months and going to two new schools. But two of the most stressful things in a kid's life, whether they show the stress or not, are moving and the introduction of a new sibling. DH and I just really felt like we laid a lot on these kids in such a short amount of time and they have taken it so well. We really wanted to do something special.

Just to be clear, I am not "punishing" the baby by not taking her (I don't think that is what you were trying to say, but just clarifying. I honestly don't think she'd have a "better" time there or at home. She'd be good either way. I do know for a fact my older kids would absolutely relish having one parent giving them undivided attention all the time for a few days.

 

[KateMW]

I'm sorry, but a 6 month old is having a good time with YOU, not at Disney World. Yes, they like music, bright lights, but they don't and won't remember. You will have a much better time without the baby, since you can focus on the older boys.

Also, to the poster who said it sounded like a reward...what's wrong with that?Children deserve encouragement for facing hard times. Moving, new siblings, etc. are good reasons.