leaving a teen at home

[The Sweetness]

My DD15 and I decided today that she would be skipping our upcomming vacation. She will stay home with her grandmothers. In a way, I know this is good. She has been very difficult, lately Cutting class, and arguing, not to mention cranking up the whinometer to 11

I know that it has been difficult for her this past month, with me going back to work PT on weekends, but I have also more than doubled her allowance (I couldnt afford to give her more than $10 a week before, which wasnt really enough)

A week and a half apart will be good for all of us
Anyone else leave a teen at home when taking a vaca?

 

[amykathleen2005]

My DD15 and I decided today that she would be skipping our upcomming vacation. She will stay home with her grandmothers. In a way, I know this is good. She has been very difficult, lately Cutting class, and arguing, not to mention cranking up the whinometer to 11

I know that it has been difficult for her this past month, with me going back to work PT on weekends, but I have also more than doubled her allowance (I couldnt afford to give her more than $10 a week before, which wasnt really enough)

A week and a half apart will be good for all of us
Anyone else leave a teen at home when taking a vaca?

Too young to have a teen. But why isn't $10 enough money for her?? That seems more than enough to me.

 

[java]

How will she be with Grandma? if she is that difficult with you can you imagine?
My Mom left me home alone when I was a few years older. I had to work. So I used the time alone to have my boyfriend over every night. Looking back what a disaster that could have been. And no way am I leaving mine alone. With our Grandma she might as well be alone.
Good luck and have a good time.

 

[dogluva]

I wish I was too young to have a teen but I have two. I left them with my mother for ten days in March (they couldn't miss this much school and have been many times to WDW). They missed us but were fine.

I am not taking them when we camp in the SUmmer. They hate it. Both have jobs. THey would rather be with their friends (normal I guess).

I also went away Sat night with my four youngest ones-they stayed alone (my son is 18 and daughter almost 15). They were fine. They had the dogs and my mother down the street.

Not all teens have parties and other things.

 

[susykt4]

My kids aren't teens yet, but I always stayed with my grandma while my family went to Disney when I was a teen. I'd been there many times as a child and definitely preferred not missing school/activities/friends/work! I also LOVED being away from my parents and brothers for a week. Grandma let me get away with a few things Mom never did such as watching tv late or staying up reading. I don't have any regrets about skipping the family vacations as a teen! I'm sure I would have been a pain anyway

 

[kathfish]

EVERYONE is different, teens and their parents, true.... I will add my .02 only because I've been through this. It's not only YOUR kid you need to worry about.... other kids will take advantage, close friends or not, of your child having a parent free home. My son was put in a very bad situation due to him telling one friend, them telling one friend, etc etc etc. Before he knew it our home had 20+ teens in it, bringing booze, etc... it got VERY out of hand VERY quickly. Not an easy situation for a teenager to deal with. Luckily I have "busy body" neighbors (love them!) who butted right in and helped him out. This could have ended up MUCH worse.
If you are leaving your child, and you KNOW KNOW KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that they will make the right choices, be sure to talk to them about NOT advertising they will be alone. It's pretty cool to brag, but can end up dangerous.

 

[The Sweetness]

I dont think she's going to give grams a hard time. She will have a curfew at which time to be home for the night, where she'll call us from. Her issues are more related to bickering about going to all of her classes and arguing w her father who will be with me
my mom (who's no push-over) will be there, along with grams

 

[brytorlyn]

My oldest who is now 20 has been staying "on his own" when we vacationed since he was 16. By "on his own" I mean in our house, my Mom about 2 miles away. He ate dinner with her at night and she would drop in during the evenings and make plans to go out with him a bit on weekends...like shopping and driving practice and stuff. We never had any problems. But that being said he was not skipping school or causing us any trouble. Are you sure Grandma can handle it???

We have also left our 2 oldest together when they were 14/18 and 15/19 with Grandma's help and no trouble.

And recently I got really daring and left DS20 with DD6 overnight and for the better part of a day including a ballet class ( for DD6 not DS20 ). They were fine too...no crazy drunken parties or anything!!!

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

My kids are teens. I am young-at heart if nothing else, then again, it always amazes me that your concept of young and old changes as you yourself age.

Anyhoo...me and DH have left our two teens with relatives when we went away (not just to Disney, but to Vegas and other places that are just not kid friendly as well). We make sure to do it once a year. We rarely go for more than 4 or 5 days, but we definitely make sure we go! While I never thought I'd be an advocate of leaving the kids home, my thinking on that has changed drastically over time. I think it is WONDERFUL! Sometimes you just need the time apart to rest and rejuvenate-especially during those trying teens years-I feel your pain...DD of mine seems to be in constant PMS mode and everything is an argument. Possibly being with grandma will be good for your DD. Unless grandma is overly permissive, she probably will be grateful when you come home to have you back. If nothing else, you will have had time to recharge yourself. Go and have a good time-without guilt or worry!

 

[4eyedbuzzard]

Our three teens, DD19, DS16, DD15 are coming with us June 6 -13. DS21 does not wish to join us - work, his own life, etc. The two older ones coming with us have summer jobs to return to once we get back, and the younger daughter will do some serious lawnmowing and babysitting over the summer.

We figure this will probably be the last big vacation we take together, so we wanted it to be special. We were originally going to go to Myrtle Beach, but all of us started talking about alternatives and now everybody is psyched to be going back to WDW(last visit was when they were little in '98).

We have left them alone for up to a week several times since our oldest turned 17, one of our neighbors checks up on them and is available for emergencies. They have always behaved well, made the school bus on time, etc while we've been gone. Not that they're little angels, but all-in-all they haven't abused the situation.

 

[powellrj]

our oldest started signing up for summer school when he was 16 just so he had an excuse not to go with us anymore. He would stay at my DM who would spoil him and we were all much happier! He was happy to be spoiled for a week and we were happy because when your teen is happy, everyone is happy!! ( I know the real saying is "When mom is happy everyone is happy", but I also think it applies to teens!)

My middle DS is now 16 and is working on getting the same deal from grandma!

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

My DD15 and I decided today that she would be skipping our upcomming vacation. She will stay home with her grandmothers. In a way, I know this is good. She has been very difficult, lately Cutting class, and arguing, not to mention cranking up the whinometer to 11

I know that it has been difficult for her this past month, with me going back to work PT on weekends, but I have also more than doubled her allowance (I couldnt afford to give her more than $10 a week before, which wasnt really enough)

A week and a half apart will be good for all of us
Anyone else leave a teen at home when taking a vaca?

Would never even consider it as an option.....cutting school is more than her "being difficult" it is a conduct problem as well as disrespect for herself, rules and you. Seems she feels she will make her own decisions period and what have you done as a punishment? It seems she has won again by staying home. If she misses you so much on the weekend what is her real reason for her not going? Also I think the giving her extra money for acting out is just outrageous and you are asking for more trouble.
Also leaving Grandmas to deal with your problem is simply unfair to them.
Family vacations are for the entire family....she will have the rest of her life to vacation without you.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Would never even consider it as an option.....cutting school is more than her "being difficult" it is a conduct problem as well as disrespect for herself, rules and you. Seems she feels she will make her own decisions period and what have you done as a punishment? It seems she has won again by staying home. If she misses you so much on the weekend what is her real reason for her not going? Also I think the giving her extra money for acting out is just outrageous and you are asking for more trouble.
Also leaving Grandmas to deal with your problem is simply unfair to them.
Family vacations are for the entire family....she will have the rest of her life to vacation without you.

 

[bumbershoot]

I dunno...sounds to me like this is a PERFECT time to take her on a vacation! And to Disney, no less!

I remember that when I was being a pain, those were the times I was feeling sad and alone...I SAID I wanted more alone-time, but I really wanted to be taken into the fold and hugged alot.

Then again, I didn't have two grandmothers who were close enough to each other to watch over me...and my mom wouldn't have taken a vacay, other than her honeymoon with her second hubby (we were sent to dad's), without us.

But I stand by thinking she needs a vacation.

Hey, maybe the grandmothers could go with everyone, and she could hang out with them at Disneyland? So it's a vacation from you guys (and for you from her), but she's not missing out at the same time!

 

[miraged]

I wouldn't leave my ds, now 16, but his only granparent is my mom who is on dialysis three times a week. He actually likes to go away with me and and his sister and leave his dad, my ex, far away. He might have skipped some classes when we were home, but when we are together, I know where he is and he seems so much more relaxed. I think it is good for him.He is much more himself when we are away. JUst my thoughts.
donns

 

[meandtheguys2]

Time together away enjoying one another, and focussing on one another is a healing thing. Kids that are acting out need connections, not more isolation.

 

[Longsx3]

While I am not against parents going on vacation without their children what first came to mind was that it souds like your daughter needs you with her now!

Leaving her with Grandma could work against you in one of two ways, she may be acting out so that you won't want to take her on vacation hence she is getting her way or although she says she doesn't want to go she may feel abandoned (for lack of a better word)...she may truly want to go but with the tension she is unable to admit this to you.

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

I guess it depends on what the situation really is with your daughter. Only you are privy to the details and possible reasons behind her behavior to make a judgement call. If it makes you feel better, you know, sometimes it really is just a phase and they are not bad kids at all. I went through a rebellious period in my teens where I was difficult and whiny and I cut school more than a few times (although I did not get caught). On the flip side, I was also the straightest arrow otherwise...never drank, never smoked, never tried any drugs (haven't still at 41 years old), got straight A's and I waited until I was married to have sex. For me, I cut class because I was bored and I just wanted to be cool (I was tired of always doing the right thing and this was my way of acting out). As far as being difficult or whiny, I just thought my mother and father were idiots (don't most teens?) and of course they just never understood anything (in my eyes at the time) so that contributed to the clashing. Amazing that by the time I hit 20, my parents were intelligent people again! Anyhoo, I guess my point is that your DD may be just going through that rough teen period (although not all teens do) and that as long as she is a good kid otherwise, I think you may be ok to go away without her.

Now if you think DD is possibly going to be a terror, no, I wouldn't leave grandma to wrangle with her...but you know DD best.

 

[hollyb]

Everyone goes or no one goes. How is this making your DD feel? She needs your attention more now then ever and what are doing leaving for a vacation without her?

 

[youngsbcamper]

We are leaving our 15 yr. old dd behind but, she'll be at Cheerleading Camp. We've had these reservations for months now. She made Cheerleading again, so she had to decide. DISNEY or CHEER?! Poor thing, I feel sorry for her. It's killing me to go w/out her, but the whole extended family is going. My sis is in her last quater of her masters & she even changed Professors to get to go w/us!! I can't let the whole family down. So, she will be taken care of/lets hope so. She'll be at Auburn University. I'm sure she'll have a great time! It's not fair to let my ds (who's 10) down. He's been saving his change & dollars for months now!