leaving a teen at home

[The Sweetness]

I didnt mean to restart this debate. I was just reporting back that while DD2, DH, and I were on vacation for 9 days, everything went just fine here at home with DD15, and her grandmothers I mentioned when I asked for advice that I'd report back afterwards on how things went (just for the record, the 2 grandmothers left in charge were 57, and 83. both healthy, lively, and capable of doing whatever was necessarry for my DD (they even both still drive))

I was just letting everyone know that things went well, JIC anyone reading this thread was facing a similar dillema

 

[meandtheguys2]

I'm glad it worked out! It is such a blessing to have involved grandparents in a kids life.

 

[auntie]

As to the question as to when was I a teenager..that was probably a while ago..since I'm 49 years old. That being said..I do HAVE teens. A 15 year old son (same age as the the OP's) and 19 year old daughter(soon to be 20) and a 26 year old son. So...I've kind of been down this road a few times already. Not to mention..I've been married for almost 31 years. Each child is different and an individual. There is no mold that EVERY child is going to fit into. Each of my kids have been raised in the same family by the same parents..yet they have different personalities and reactions to situations. So just when you think you've got something down..the next one surprises you with a reaction completely different..and their own. Part of raising a teen is knowing that at some point you WILL look at them and think "WHERE IS MY CHILD..and WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HER?" As if they have been invaded by alien beings. What worked the year before..or for the other child may not be applicable to another. Part of being a teen is that they are all over the place. Their lives are changing..both physically and emotionally. Being in tune..or considerate of that doesn't mean you are letting them walk all over you, or running the show. They most certainly need guidelines and there are rules. You do have to choose your battles..and hold your ground. That being said...not EVERYTHING has to become a battle. That is draining to the relationship..and home life in particular. This particular family has an age difference...I also have an 11 year age difference between my youngest and oldest..even a 7 year difference between the middle and oldest. At various times..it has been very much like having two families. I can relate a bit to the circumstances of the OP..having had little ones and then a teen. Been there. The teen also doesn't get to ruin the vacation for the little guys. They are part of the family also. The OP allowing her daughter to spend time with Grandma who is in her 50's...who is likely acutely aware of what having a teen is about.(she herself is not that far removed from those days of parenting)..is a GREAT way for her teenage daughter to develop a relationship that they both will treasure. "Grandma" has obviously been a part of the teen's life for quite a while...probably since she herself was around 40. I did not have the impression the OP left her child with a 90 year old granny, who would not have the capabilities to handle a teen. It's great that they have extended family near by. My own mom is only 17 years older than I. I have three siblings...when I'm going through something with one of my kids..she is a valuable source of strength and wisdom....because she HAS been through it..and I can draw from her experience. I think we need to give the OP credit for finding a solution that WORKED. From what I've read everybody is happy...and has a fresh perspective on things. A parent can be firm..and also receptive to her teens feelings..and not minimize them. I think that's what occured in this case. I would hardly say the OP was selfish..I'm sure it was a difficult decision that weighed heavily on her mind.

In any case...everyone certainly has there own perspective, and ultimately will do what is right for their own family. I'm glad it turned out well. Sometimes you just have to trust what your gut is telling you. You know your child best.

 

[Dallas_Lady]

I just don't understand why a 15 year old gets to decide where she is going or not going. I am not trying to be rude, but it sounds like she needs a bit more attention than she is getting. I am not even thinking about her having parties and stuff, that is irrelevant. She's already insisting on more allowance and staying home from a family vacation. I don't get this. I was a bratty 15 year old but there was no way I would even have had a choice whether or not I was going on a family vacation. It seems like she just makes demands and you are giving in. This is going to snowball eventually. I would not let her stay home nor would I tolerate her being rude to any of us while on vacation. I wish you the best as it is hard being a parent.

I agree. Maybe I was just raised differently, but there would have been no choice about whether or not I got to go. If it was a family vacation, then everyone goes and everyone behaves, period.

Now, obviously once I was in college things were different. But

 

[auntie]

I'm glad it worked out! It is such a blessing to have involved grandparents in a kids life.

A blessing in deed!

 

[The Sweetness]

Thats something we can agree on~ grands rule!