Laws on personal stuff left behind?

[indimom]

A friend of mine went through this with her ex. He wouldn't come get his stuff from the attic and it had been almost two years. She went to her divorce lawyer, he wrote up a notice informing her ex that he had 30 or 60 days to get his things or they would be disposed of. Had it delievered or sent certified mail or something similar to make sure he couldn't claim he did not get the notice.
He came and got his stuff within about two weeks, grumping the entire time.
I would definitely check with the lawyer or the police to make sure this woman (I won't say Lady) can't do anything to cause more trouble for you. Then, toss the stuff to the curb. It's pretty obvious she doesn't really need or want it, she would have gotten it years ago if that was the case.

 

[sunnyday123]

don't know if there are any laws, but I would haul it to the curb and tell her if she wants it that is where it is and to come get it before trash day.

have they been divorced long and has she been out of the house long?

Heck, I had a yardsale with my ex husbands stuff!!

 

[Ponygirl]

Believe me, if there wasn't a child involved, I would definitely not be this nice! I want him (the child) to see what kind of person she is compared to us by our actions (which are non-reactive and mature) and her actions and words (which are immature and antagonizing). (That's a WHOLE other story about the names she calls us to their child.)

I really wouldn't do this either, but the evil part of me might like to just quietly think about it once in a while and chuckle to myself. I commend you for keeping your wits about you and not lowering yourself to this woman's level. I wish you all the best!

 

[hereyago]

Does she get visitation with the child? If so, does she have to come over to get the child? If so, next visitation, give them to her then.


I am not nice like you so........I get you want to show the kid a good example, but there is nothing wrong sometimes to show the kid to not put up with sillyness too. I did want to add, I wouldn't cause a dileberate scene and throw stuff at her-even though it would be funny in front of said kid-but either way she will be opening her trap to the kid-but it's not to say I wouldn't drop it off at her house or even her work when kid isn't around. does she call the house every day to talk to the kid and then call you names?

But if these items meant that much to her, she would have taken them, but 4 years.

 

[hereyago]

And however she gets her stuff, make sure it's your man who does it. if you go drop her stuff off or whatever, it won't be a big of a message as if the bf does it-'here is your stuff, i don't want it in myself and Hot GF's house" now if you could be present and do a sneaky "how u like me now" smile, then great.
You don't say a word let him do all the talking, then say with a smile buh bye, do a princess wave as well.

 

[Miniefan]

And however she gets her stuff, make sure it's your man who does it. if you go drop her stuff off or whatever, it won't be a big of a message as if the bf does it-'here is your stuff, i don't want it in myself and Hot GF's house" now if you could be present and do a sneaky "how u like me now" smile, then great.
You don't say a word let him do all the talking, then say with a smile buh bye, do a princess wave as well.

Me and you must be evil twins, seperated at birth.

Kim

 

[dani0622]

Check into housing and rental laws. I mean, if you were renting somewhere and you left some stuff, would they be liable it they threw it away? Sort of the same scenario, especially if the divorce decree says nothing about her belongings. Hope you are able to resolve it soon. Sucks you have somebody like that and you HAVE to keep dealing with them. She is totally loving this by the way, so don't give her any satisfaction.

Kim

That's why I was wondering since we are considering moving in two months...Oh don't I know she loves this, which is why I ignore her

 

[dani0622]

Does she get visitation with the child? If so, does she have to come over to get the child? If so, next visitation, give them to her then.


I am not nice like you so........I get you want to show the kid a good example, but there is nothing wrong sometimes to show the kid to not put up with sillyness too. I did want to add, I wouldn't cause a dileberate scene and throw stuff at her-even though it would be funny in front of said kid-but either way she will be opening her trap to the kid-but it's not to say I wouldn't drop it off at her house or even her work when kid isn't around. does she call the house every day to talk to the kid and then call you names?
QUOTE]

She is supposed to see her child twice a week and every other weekend, but this almost never happens on a regular basis. And we haven't seen her since Christmas Eve. She picks him up on her days from school and then brings him to school in the AM. She hasn't picked him up or dropped him off to our house since Christmas Eve. The child is somewhat aware of what's going on because even though we don't speak about it in front of him, she does (and of course it's in a very deragortory manner).

She refuses to call our house anymore because she doesn't want to speak to my BF who is totally calm every time he speaks to her. She gets in her moods where she starts sending texts for no reasons calling me names out of the blue. It's very randomly done.

 

[dani0622]

And however she gets her stuff, make sure it's your man who does it. if you go drop her stuff off or whatever, it won't be a big of a message as if the bf does it-'here is your stuff, i don't want it in myself and Hot GF's house" now if you could be present and do a sneaky "how u like me now" smile, then great.
You don't say a word let him do all the talking, then say with a smile buh bye, do a princess wave as well.

Oh yes, I most definitely won't get involved. I mean, I might be in the car if he were to drop it off but I would not be delivering it without him. I refuse to interact with her since the name calling began months ago.

And I always make sure I look my best when I know I have to see her. I think for the future I will do as you suggest and give her a princess wave!!

 

[Big Cuddly Bear]

You could always contact the police department to find out the time frame on abandonded property. It varies by state/county. After you find out, send her a certified letter stating the time frame and whether she passed it ( I bet she did!! ) Then tell her she has XX Days to remove her items or they will be disposed of.

And I would make a 2nd copy of the letter and have it notarized. But I may be going too far.

 

[hereyago]

Me and you must be evil twins, seperated at birth.

Kim

I am actually a chilled kind of person, but OMG, there have been times I have gone to "the dark side", but did it with a pleasant smile on my face and not even raise my voice.

 

[dani0622]

And I would make a 2nd copy of the letter and have it notarized. But I may be going too far.

I was thinking the same...

 

[hereyago]

Oh, he already is starting to see the bad stuff and gets very upset about it. It's very sad.

She has a FIANCE!!!! I always tell my BF to ask her if her fiance is concerned about how much she dislikes me. If my BF acted that way towards him the way she acts towards me, I would question his feelings and think he still had them for her!!!

She has a man and still acts like that? DANG!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean, sometimes I know exes who are alone will get the wild hair up the behind and act up, but wow.

 

[Sanchez]

I assume you are in New Jersey. There are statutes. It appears that this is 'lost property":

§ 46:30C-1. Definitions relative to lost, abandoned property
As used in this act:
a. "Abandoned property" is property of which the owner has intentionally given up possession under circumstances evincing intent to give up ownership.
b. "Lost property" is property the possession of which has been parted with casually, involuntarily or unintentionally; or which has been mislaid, left or forgotten.
c. A "finder" is a person who acquires legal possession by exercising physical control over abandoned or lost property.

§ 46:30C-2. Assumption of ownership
A finder of abandoned property may assume ownership of it.


§ 46:30C-3. Reasonable efforts to return property to owner
A finder of lost property shall make reasonable efforts to return the property to its owner. Reasonable efforts to return the property depend on the nature of the property, the circumstances in which it is found and the obtainable information concerning its owner. Reasonable efforts may include:
a. Attempts to notify the owner of the lost property, or the owner of the premises where found,
b. Delivery to the owner or person in charge of the premises where the property was found, or
c. Delivery to the local police, or to a lost-and-found facility for the premises where the property was found.


§ 46:30C-4. Claiming of lost property
a. A person may claim lost property only after making reasonable efforts to return the property to its owner.
b. If the owner of the lost property does not reclaim it within 120 days of the commencement of reasonable efforts to return it:
(1) The owner of the premises where the property was found may claim title to buried or hidden lost property or to lost property which a trespasser found;
(2) The finder of the property may claim title to lost property in other cases.
c. If the owner of the premises or finder does not claim the lost property, and an action is not pending to determine rights to the property:
(1) Marketable property shall be sold by the clerk of the municipality in which it is located and the proceeds, less costs of sale shall be transmitted to the administrator of the "Uniform Unclaimed Property Act (1981)" (R.S.46:30B-1 et seq.), for deposit in the Unclaimed Personal Property Trust Fund established pursuant to the provisions of R.S.46:30B-74;
(2) Non-marketable property may be treated as abandoned.

 

[hereyago]

I am in a silly mood, but this would be done right funny. crazy girl, your stuff is at the police station, go claim it.

 

[Miniefan]

I am actually a chilled kind of person, but OMG, there have been times I have gone to "the dark side", but did it with a pleasant smile on my face and not even raise my voice.

Me too, but sometimes something snaps and you cross over to the dark side. They have good cookies over there have you tried them?

Kim

 

[bumbershoot]

I think you'll find that the police will be very reluctant to give you advice on this given it involves a divorce.

Surely they can tell them the law.

Then sends a text to my bf saying, "didn't tubby (that would be me folks) want my pictures there?"

...based on the amount of names she calls me weekly!

Property aside, if it were me, I would need my boyfriend to protect my feelings more. There's no reason for you to know the nasty things she calls you in her texts.

 

[ilovejack02]

Property aside, if it were me, I would need my boyfriend to protect my feelings more. There's no reason for you to know the nasty things she calls you in her texts.

My husband of 15 years learned early on, don't tell me the crap the ex says . I also learned when she flipped out on me if she happened to catch me on phone to not tell him the ugly things she said about him. Just stirred up more trouble, which is what the crazy ex wants.

 

[Tink_Or_Belle]

on Mothers day wrap it all up in its containers and put a card on it saying it's from her kid she can't complain then right?!

 

[Reddy]

if she doesn't come get the stuff - I would let the child go thur it for anything that she may want before getting rid of everything.
(I only read that first page & half)