Large Families (curious question)

[DSNY4ever]

DH works full time and I work part time opposite shift to him so one of us is always home with the kids. We have a household budget that we live by. We drive older vehicles, the kids wear a lot of hand me downs (it's a waste not to if they are in good repair). They each have a small college fund that they don't know about, that way they save for college. As for groceries we are frugul. If I buy it we use it, we don't waste things. I cook from scratch, we don't eat processed and we don't eat out often. We live in a modest house with no plans to upgrade as our mortgage payment is next to nothing. We budget in money for soccer, ballet, football and gymnastics. We take the yearly total divide by twelve and put that much aside each months so when it's time to register for soccer the $600 is already alloted and there for it. This allows us to save and spend for vacation, which you can see by my signiture, is a big proirity for us. I have the option at my job to work as little as every other week end up to full time hours so if we are planning a vacation that requires some extra money I pick up extra hours. I think the main thing is we live within our means.

We do the same...must be California that is killing us If we have a second and put them both in daycare it will be about $2,000 per month! That alone blows my mind. We don't have our one in day care yet, but the dollar signs scare me.

 

[Reese]

We do the same...must be California that is killing us If we have a second and put them both in daycare it will be about $2,000 per month! That alone blows my mind. We don't have our one in day care yet, but the dollar signs scare me.

$2000...for daycare. I can't see how anyone could do that financially? I would be working for day care and a pack of gum. I am so thankful that Dh and I have the option of working opposite shifts so one of us is always home.

 

[DSNY4ever]

$2000...for daycare. I can't see how anyone could do that financially? I would be working for day care and a pack of gum. I am so thankful that Dh and I have the option of working opposite shifts so one of us is always home.

I know, I don't understand either. I don't want to be nosey and ask my friends how they afford it, but it is a big factor in when we have #2. A lot of my friends have family nearby to watch the kids too, and we don't have that option. We just found an at home place that will take two for $1,400...but still! If I quit my job to stay home then the extra things (like trips to Disney) all go out the window! Haha, sorry for venting. We have just been talking a lot about this right now and crunching numbers . For now I will just be happy with #1, and be happy that we aren't paying for day care yet.

 

[of2dbeach]

We are a family of 3, my DD2 will likely be an only until maybe 4 yo. I've just started to notice how large some of the DIS families are. 6, 7...8 kids listed in some signatures.

If you have one of these large families, are they blended and including step-children?

HOW ON EARTH DO YOU DO IT?

I had commented when we were down at disney last year that there were a lot of younger families with lots of kids - 4+. I personally do not know anyone with more than 3 kids in real life!

We have 5 kids total a blended family.Our kids ages are now 19,18,17 15 and 9. My oldest son Michael is Autistic/ Epileptic, the 14 yr old Rebekah has Adhd/ Dyslexia, The 9 yr old Emma has OCD and is possibly on the Autism Spectrum as well. My husbands 2 kids are Sarah 18 who is deaf in 1 ear ( birth Defect ) and his son Jay Jr is legaly blind in 1 eye.( there Mother neglected them , and lost custody ) how do we manage it we just do. All the kids know if we have an issue with Michael they stop and wait. When an older kid was with a younger one they "took charge " of the younger one by making them sit and wait till we got Michael back on track.we have been together 11 years. We do as much as we can together with the eception of Michael because sometimes it gets too hot for him because we are in Fl.He also dosent like the crouds at the theme parks so he prefers to stay at Grams and be spoiled with 1 on 1 with her
We have learned to take our time and adjust things as needed and take breaks more often. it is funny when we go out to dinner and they see us all walk in at once, esecially when i come in alone . All my kids behave and were taught at a young age to do what they are told to do on the first asking. They loose privilages if they dont and it can ruin it for the others.

 

[Chelley00]

For now I will just be happy with #1, and be happy that we aren't paying for day care yet.

One way we were able to do four is that we never had any in daycare. DH worked nights, I work days, so someone was always home with the kids. When our youngest went to kindergarten, DH went to first shift for the school year, but shifts back to nights for the summer. It's not ideal, but we couldn't have any kids if we had to pay for daycare!

 

[Madzac]

We also have four and work opposite shifts... he works weekdays and I work weekends. This allowed us to cut daycare entirely and was the best thing. It is hard sometimes on us, but for now while the kids are young totally worth it.

I love having four! Really adding the fourth was a piece of cake, she fit right in. If I were younger and had started younger I would certainly have a couple more.

Traveling once you hit a family of six is a bit harder though, hard to find rooms, especially at disney, to accomodate six people without breaking the bank... hence our first offsite trip in October!

 

[Darcy03231]

We're a blended family with four children and then took in foster twins so we have 6. Ages now are 27, 24, 20, 20, 20, and 18. Add in that our house is the one that all the kids hang out at and we always have had a house full. Even now with just one 20 y.o. and the 18 y.o. living at home, we always have kids here. As others have said, it can get hectic, but for us its worth it. We don't have the newest, the latest and the greatest, but we still manage to have a nice life.

Like PP we budget for everything. We don't eat out much, drive older cars and shop for second hand clothing/household goods.

All of the kids have managed to go to college on a combination of savings, scholarships/grants and loans.

The oldest has his masters in civil engineering, the next has a BS in business, the three 20 y.o. are still in college, one studying biology, one business and one psychology (wants to go for her doctorate). The youngest will graduate high school in June, but hasn't decided yet what he wants to do, so he's attending the local CC to do some of his general studies before he decides.

 

[Blackbeltdisneygirl]

I don't know how big families do it financially. I don't mean it in a rude way, I am just genuinely curious. We both have good jobs and a modest house, modest lifestyle, aren't struggling... but we are crunching the numbers to have a second in a few years and my husband is sweating.

A man talking to me in a waiting room the other day said "once you have more than one it really doesn't matter how many more you have after that, it makes no difference." I just smiled, but in my head I was thinking...no, we would need a bigger car and a bigger house, and that would mean more kids to add onto the health insurance/dental insurance, another college savings account to fund, more food to buy, more daycare fees (Or I quit my job to take care of them...either way less money) etc. etc....

I think adoption would be a pretty amazing thing to do too, if only money grew on trees!

I think it just takes creativity. We only tried for one b/c the other ones all came when they wanted! We were forced into adjusting to having a new mouth to feed. My grandpa always used to say that with ANY new thing it takes one year to readjust, and you shouldn't add anything else until that year is up. We only had it happen once when it came to our kids! Baby #3 decided to show up when #2 was only 4 months old. Even that gave us 13 months to adjust though, so it worked out. What he meant was: If you buy a house, don't buy a new car until you have adjusted and gotten comfortable with the payments, etc... The other thing we try and live by is creative budgeting. Our only true extravagance is our Disney trips, and we only started that three years ago in our 13th year of marriage. We are very frugal year round. I coupon so we never have to pay full price for anything. We bought a foreclosed house so we could fix it up ourselves. WIN/WIN with that b/c we are very creative, so we get to put our stamp on it without paying someone else to do the work (my hubby is a contractor/carpenter/with a specialty in drywall). I design, hubby builds, and I clean up. We buy clothes secondhand whenever we can. My girls have a tremendous wardrobe. Their friends are actually jealous. Little do they know that I paid a fraction of the cost most people would. I buy designer/brand name stuff, but at resale shops and yard sales. Of course we buy some things new, but I prefer hefty discounts whenever I can get them. Last year I hit a yard sale with all American Eagle, Gap, Limited, Justice, Charlotte Russe, etc...The clothes looked like they hadn't been worn. I walked out with 35 pieces for $35. Each item would've retailed for at least $40. I always say: "Yeah, go ahead and spend that much on clothes. I will turn around and buy them off of you when you decide you don't want them, but I will only pay $1." It teaches my kids how to be wise with their money too. I started a side business selling things at the flea market, and we barter. My husband has done side work for attorney fees (he had to put a lien on a job) and other things (like doing the drywall in an addition to get two massive trees taken down b/c they had been hit by lightning), I teach karate for my family's tuition for 7 people, plus my niece and nephew and my family's belt testing fees. I sew patches on gi's to get our gear free. I teach sewing to a group we call a co-op in exchange for violin lessons and organic gardening lessons/seed sharing. My hubby works extra side jobs whenever he can too. I sit down and write out every bill that has to be paid out of what paycheck. I actually have all my bills written out for the next 7 months, and all I have to do is pull the check out and mark it off on my budget sheet. I buy Disney gift cards every week too, and that is on the budget sheet. Anyway, sorry for the rambling, but the key here is creative budgeting in my opinion! (BTW, doing things this way I haven't had to work a full time job in 13 years, and have been able to be home and homeschool b/c of it)

I think budgets are hard if you have 2 or 50 kids. Your priorities just change. I know when I just had one (which wasn't for long. ) I was into buying new stuff. We got new strollers, new clothes, new toys. I couldn't imagine putting her in hand me downs, or Goodwill items. Not to sound snobby, I just couldn't see doing it then. Flash forward 5 years and 4 kids later...I couldn't imagine buying things that weren't second hand! I search for deals on EVERYTHING. I buy toys from CL and GW. I try to save everything my older kids wear down to underwear and socks. Everything gets passed on or sold on CL. I don't think I am cheap...I just think 4 kids has forced me to be more frugal and I don't think that is necessarily bad. It has allowed me to teach my kids to budget. Sure they laugh when mom won't buy an item of food because we don't have a coupon for it, but it has also taught them the value of money. My 4 year olds help grocery shop and clip coupons. My older two go straight for the sale section when we need to buy shoes. I look at it like a learning opportunity. I think it will serve them well in the future, esp. in this economy. I am not saying it is easy. I haven't bought a new pair of jeans for myself in 3 years. All 4 pairs I own have holes in the knees. Would I like a new pair? Yes. Is it in the cards right now? No. But we are lucky. We are healthy, we have a roof over our heads, we can buy toys for Christmas. That is not lost on me. I get to stay home with my kids, that to me is more important than having new jeans. I am sure if we had a 5th child, we could find a way to buckle down more and be even more frugal. I think things change when more kids are added and your prospective changes with that. We save for college because that is our priority. Our only debt is our cars (We had to get larger ones when the twins came along!), and our student loans DH still has from college. We will finish the loans off this year. The cars will be done in 2013. I will be so happy by then. I know that won't change the way I spend though. I will just be looking forward to putting more aside for college and retirement. I guess what I am trying to say is that it isn't really any harder because you adjust. If I still only had one, I probably would still be buying Halloween costumes and spending money on fancy hair clips. 4 kids later, those just aren't top priorities but the laughter and joy our 4 kids bring us everyday is worth all the sacrifices in the world. To the point that you just don't feel like it is really a sacrifice anymore.

Agreed. We drive a van and a truck that are older, but look nice and run well. My van was bought on auction, has been a great find. My hubby's truck was a gift from the in-laws, so free is for me!!! I don't know about you, but I think there is great fun in the hunt for beautiful secondhand items. I get a rush from finding something great for dirt cheap. My kids are going to be way smarter than I was financially when I first got married! We don't have credit cards (just debit), so if we run out of money, it's gone. We recently did a two week fast food ban, and that saved us a lot of money. It is so easy to grab and go, so we really had to watch and plan. We also do a Disney change jar, and hubby and I vow to never use our change. We always break a dollar and save the change. It adds up fast. Next year we will trade in our van for an upgrade in years, and we will use our tax return and buy one cash. No payments for us!!!!

 

[StuckInKS]

I think budgets are hard if you have 2 or 50 kids. Your priorities just change. I know when I just had one (which wasn't for long. ) I was into buying new stuff. We got new strollers, new clothes, new toys. I couldn't imagine putting her in hand me downs, or Goodwill items. Not to sound snobby, I just couldn't see doing it then. Flash forward 5 years and 4 kids later...I couldn't imagine buying things that weren't second hand! I search for deals on EVERYTHING. I buy toys from CL and GW. I try to save everything my older kids wear down to underwear and socks. Everything gets passed on or sold on CL. I don't think I am cheap...I just think 4 kids has forced me to be more frugal and I don't think that is necessarily bad. It has allowed me to teach my kids to budget. Sure they laugh when mom won't buy an item of food because we don't have a coupon for it, but it has also taught them the value of money. My 4 year olds help grocery shop and clip coupons. My older two go straight for the sale section when we need to buy shoes. I look at it like a learning opportunity. I think it will serve them well in the future, esp. in this economy. I am not saying it is easy. I haven't bought a new pair of jeans for myself in 3 years. All 4 pairs I own have holes in the knees. Would I like a new pair? Yes. Is it in the cards right now? No. But we are lucky. We are healthy, we have a roof over our heads, we can buy toys for Christmas. That is not lost on me. I get to stay home with my kids, that to me is more important than having new jeans. I am sure if we had a 5th child, we could find a way to buckle down more and be even more frugal. I think things change when more kids are added and your prospective changes with that. We save for college because that is our priority. Our only debt is our cars (We had to get larger ones when the twins came along!), and our student loans DH still has from college. We will finish the loans off this year. The cars will be done in 2013. I will be so happy by then. I know that won't change the way I spend though. I will just be looking forward to putting more aside for college and retirement. I guess what I am trying to say is that it isn't really any harder because you adjust. If I still only had one, I probably would still be buying Halloween costumes and spending money on fancy hair clips. 4 kids later, those just aren't top priorities but the laughter and joy our 4 kids bring us everyday is worth all the sacrifices in the world. To the point that you just don't feel like it is really a sacrifice anymore.

This is SO TRUE! When we had two, everything had to be new AND name brand. My kids in Walmart or second-hand clothes? Please! Now, I buy off of Walmart clearance and at second-hand sales. My kids can wear everything but jeans (due to length) for a few years and then it get passed on to the next in line. Seriously, my almost-9-year-old has to wear 4/5 shorts and shirts (6s are too big unless they are adjustable waist), so she and her little sister wear the Baby Gap and Gymboree that I bought for her 4-5 years ago, before I had so many kids. I usually have to buy my oldest son clothes each season, but its OK because as soon as he is done with them, my 4 year old can fit them and when HE is done with them, my 1 year old can fit them. I hunt down deals regularly: diapers for free at CVS with Extra Bucks, $1 Disney swimwear Walmart, $1.50-$2.50 Disney shirts, $1 Danskin Now tank tops/shorts, etc. We do not buy toys during the year unless it is a b-day or holiday, with our biggest spend at Christmas (about $100 per kid). They are SHOWERED with gifts on holidays and b-days by relatives, so we see little point in spending more than $20 per kid for b-days/Easter. We are a 1 car family and that car is over 10 years old. If we eat out, we do so on a kids free night, so all we pay for is two entrees and two drinks. So, as our family grows, we learn to be more and more frugal.

 

[herdtoDisney]

I don't know how big families do it financially. I don't mean it in a rude way, I am just genuinely curious. We both have good jobs and a modest house, modest lifestyle, aren't struggling... but we are crunching the numbers to have a second in a few years and my husband is sweating.

A man talking to me in a waiting room the other day said "once you have more than one it really doesn't matter how many more you have after that, it makes no difference." I just smiled, but in my head I was thinking...no, we would need a bigger car and a bigger house, and that would mean more kids to add onto the health insurance/dental insurance, another college savings account to fund, more food to buy, more daycare fees (Or I quit my job to take care of them...either way less money) etc. etc....

I think adoption would be a pretty amazing thing to do too, if only money grew on trees!

Well, some things cost more and some really won't. If you're going from one kid to two, then you'll still fit the car you have and the house too, and if you already have family coverage on the insurance, it doesn't cost extra for another (typically). If you still have some baby gear from #1, you can reuse that (I would probably buy a new carseat if more than 5 years old). Clothing can be passed down and I found so much great baby/kids clothes at tag sales!

Yeah, daycare is expensive, that's true But time goes fast and soon they're in school. I have five kids-I am so blessed and so glad it happened that way!-and it didn't get terribly expensive till they got older. I have three teen sons at this time so my grocery bill is insane But it wasn't like that when they were all small. You kind of grow into the expensive stuff, lol. I can afford things for them now that would have been impossible 10 or 15 years ago, when they were babies.

 

[dragonfly57005]

6 kids here - all our own kids, not blended

The kids spend a lot f time together at home and are trained to stick together . No one runs off. We stay as a pack.

We don't like traveling with grandparents because it confuses the kids on who they should follow and we are more likely to separate.


Now off to read the other posts for tips!

 

[dragonfly57005]

Dh stays home so no daycare bills for us. We don't eat out either so that helps the budget. We also don't go overboard for birthdays and holidays. I've seen parents give Amrican Girl dolls foe Easter presents. Insane!

It helps that we live in a state with a lower cost of living too and no state income taxes.

Fortunately our oldest 4 are all girls so the hand me downs flow nicely.

 

[Reese]

6 kids here - all our own kids, not blended

The kids spend a lot f time together at home and are trained to stick together . No one runs off. We stay as a pack.

We don't like traveling with grandparents because it confuses the kids on who they should follow and we are more likely to separate.


Now off to read the other posts for tips!

I find travelling with others stress me out. I know my kids and can plan a 24 hr car ride without having any issue, but as soon as we add another grown up into the mix it's horrible. My mother is always walking off when we are on vacation (usually looking for a smoking area but that's a whole other can of worms) and that is fine she's a grown up. The problem comes when she'll ask one or two of my kids to go with, of course without telling me. The only trip I have ever thought I lost a child was when grandma took her. Luckily my older children have seen this on many occasions and have started running interference. So although many people assume that I take my mom for extra help, really I usually come home needing a vacation.

 

[2Pirates2Princesses]

We have four children ages 3 to 10. How do we do it?
1.) prayer
2.) patience
3.) organization
4.) budgeting
5.) did I mention prayer?

I’ve been told that once you have 3 you can have 13; and I’ve found that to be true in our case. When you learn how to handle things once the kids outnumber you, you develop a system to manage your household and family life. There are moments when I feel overwhelmed and the level of noise and chaos can sometimes get intense and that is when prayer and patience are my saving grace; but we are truly blessed and we really enjoy our children. Life with them is the best thrill ride out there. We couldn’t imagine our life without a lot of kids, so much that we’ve talked about having another. I know it seems crazy; but other families with a lot of kids probably understand when you get to the point of feeling that way, it’s kind of hard to explain.

I agree with a previous poster that said something along the lines of not being able to have a lot of kids if they had to pay for day care; and this has always been true for me and DH. My DH has a good full time position with great benefits; but there is still the financial need for me to work at least part time; and I also want to keep my skills and resume current by working at least part time as well. We’ve been fortunate that we have always been able to work opposite shifts to avoid paying for child care, and that has worked out well for us since our oldest kids were toddlers. We don’t have a support system of family nearby that can babysit either, so it has always been just me and DH taking care of our kids.

I also agree with the other poster who mentioned that when you have more kids, you transition into new expenses and you learn how to be creatively frugal. I think back to when we only had two kids and I shake my head when I think of the unnecessary money we spent. We are able to provide our kids with a comfortable life, experiences, and extracurricular/recreational activities that we didn’t think we would be able to afford back when we only had two kids. First off, we’ve cut out a lot of unnecessary bills and debt which allows us to live off of one and half incomes without feeling like we are struggling. We own a modestly sized home and are comfortable with our mortgage payment, we currently don’t have any car payments, we’ve paid off DH’s student loans and only have mine left to fully payoff, and we only have one major credit card that we really don't use and only keep for emergencies or to rent a car if we have to. I’ve learned how and where to grocery shop to get the most for our money and have mastered the art of learning when and where to buy our kids clothes. Even though I don’t hype up name brands, my kids have a lot of nice department store brand clothes that I get primarily at bargain prices because I’ve learned how to shop utilizing both coupons and markdown prices, and this is the only way I will shop for my kids clothes. Yes, we also happily accept and use hand me downs too.
Even though we can’t do a WDW vacation every year, we’ve made it a priority over the past few years to save and budget to go away on at least one family vacation a year as we feel this is important for our family unit. We only use cash that we’ve saved to pay for our vacations, so on that note it’s not always a pricey trip somewhere but can be simple and inexpensive as long as we get away as a family. Traveling can get a little tricky and can be a bit of a challenge when you have a large family; but you learn how to be creative and figure out what works and what doesn‘t work for your family.

 

[Blackbeltdisneygirl]

This is SO TRUE! When we had two, everything had to be new AND name brand. My kids in Walmart or second-hand clothes? Please! Now, I buy off of Walmart clearance and at second-hand sales. My kids can wear everything but jeans (due to length) for a few years and then it get passed on to the next in line. Seriously, my almost-9-year-old has to wear 4/5 shorts and shirts (6s are too big unless they are adjustable waist), so she and her little sister wear the Baby Gap and Gymboree that I bought for her 4-5 years ago, before I had so many kids. I usually have to buy my oldest son clothes each season, but its OK because as soon as he is done with them, my 4 year old can fit them and when HE is done with them, my 1 year old can fit them. I hunt down deals regularly: diapers for free at CVS with Extra Bucks, $1 Disney swimwear Walmart, $1.50-$2.50 Disney shirts, $1 Danskin Now tank tops/shorts, etc. We do not buy toys during the year unless it is a b-day or holiday, with our biggest spend at Christmas (about $100 per kid). They are SHOWERED with gifts on holidays and b-days by relatives, so we see little point in spending more than $20 per kid for b-days/Easter. We are a 1 car family and that car is over 10 years old. If we eat out, we do so on a kids free night, so all we pay for is two entrees and two drinks. So, as our family grows, we learn to be more and more frugal.

Oh the Gymboree/Gap/Osh Kosh days!!! Luckily, those clothes became cost effective when they got handed down 4 times through my girls, then onto my cousin's daughter, then on to some military families. My son's clothes went to my nephew, and then who knows where! I also sold tons of clothes in yard sales and made a killing since I keep them so nice. Now, like I said, we still do brand names, but I let someone else pay the big bucks and I just pick it up cheap. This works out well for my son too since his wardrobe consists of rock t-shirts, jeans, studded or bullet belts (which we ask for Hot Topic gift cards for Christmas gifts for), and chuck taylors. He dresses really tastefully within those items, but that can add up cost wise. We look through all the t-shirts at resale shops and often come out with an Aerosmith or AC/DC shirt he can wear. I did buy his Chucks at full price though (gasp!), but I got my daughter's pair for half price and was able to use a coupon. Buy one get one half off can be a great deal for those situations. One of the other money saving things I do is a large shopping trip at the beginning of the month. I buy all my meat, bread, and milk at once when it is cheap, then I freeze it for use throughout the month. We actually prefer the taste of milk that has been frozen. That doesn't work well if you use soy though. Fat free or skim milk freezes well, and tastes crisp and cold when thawed. It saves me from having to go and buy milk from the gas station late at night b/c we ran out and need it for breakfast. That saves gas and money b/c it is more expensive that way. I usually have 10-20 loaves of bread in my freezer, 10 gallons of milk, 10 bags of chicken, 20-25 pounds of ground meat, a couple roasts, a ham, and a couple whole chickens for my rotisserie. I buy my gas at Giant Eagle (which is usually free from all the couponing I do throughout the month), and whenever I buy 10 gallons worth, I save 1% on my food up to 20% off of $300. So, the beginning of the month I make my biggest purchases and often save $60 plus what I save using coupons.

Back to the buying new subject: I often think people put too much stress on themselves to go bigger. They automatically think they need a bigger house or car when they add another kid. I had to go from my Neon to a van when we reached 3 kids b/c I couldn't fit 3 carseats in the back, so I know when there is a genuine need for that. A lot of the time people mistake a want for a need though. When we sold our old house this is what we heard constantly: "The house is beautiful, but it is too small." It killed me b/c we had 4 kids and two adults in there, and I was pregnant! We could've fit the 5th kid in there too! Most of the families that said that had maybe two kids. Again, it comes down to creativity, which I realize not everyone has. If someone doesn't have much creativity, then I suggest talking to other people to get ideas for how something could be done differently. We did trundle beds, so we could tuck a bed underneath during the day and have all that extra space. My son had an elevated bed that he could play under. We used a bunk bed frame and eliminated the bottom bunk, then my contractor husband braced it and secured it to the wall, so he could play safely underneath. We have a larger home now, but most people would probably still say it is small by their standards. I just figure, less home, less to clean. The kids and I can divide and conquer cleaning our whole house in a jiffy.

 

[wallawallakids]

I definitely agree with this!! We live in a 1600 sq foot home. ALL 6 of us! I love it. People always ask why we don't move? Don't we want a bigger home? Shouldn't the kids all have there own space? But I love this small home and what it means to our family. We have plenty of space for all of us. It never feels "small".
I think the need in America for "space" is a quality I don't really understand. When did everyone start "needing" there own space and stop "needing" family interaction? My mom had 6 siblings growing up and my dad had 5. They all shared a room. I think in 1950 this was just more acceptable than it is today.
I shared a room with my sister until I went to college. Of course we didn't always get along. There were times I wanted my own room, but there were some great times too that I wouldn't have had with my sister if we were not sharing that room. It has made us stronger siblings today. It also made it really easy for me to go to college and share a tiny dorm room with a stranger. I already had the sharing part down while a lot of other kids I met had a hard time with that.
Sometimes I see families and everyone is so accustomed to their "own" space that it seems like people hardly interact. They are so busy doing thier own thing. I couldn't imagine that. It might work well for some, but it would bother me.
We have a trundle bed in one bedroom and a bunk in the other. My kids have a playroom for toys and we have a very large yard and deck, so a lot of time is spent outside playing. We are lucky to be right on the Atlantic ocean too, so swimming is right out our back door. We have to be creative about storage, but we have a large attic and a garage and we store most things there. Every square inch is utilized in our home. We have bins under beds, spice racks built into walls, book shelves everywhere. And it is much easier for me to clean and keep clean. (One thing I can't stand is mess. I am a little OCD about that! ) Everything has a place and the kids know where that place is. I also think it helps us keep from getting clutter everywhere. We go though our toys every couple of months after birthdays and holidays and the kids pick though and decide on things they don't need or want anymore. Then we donate them or sell them on CL. I don't waste money buying art work or furniture we don't need because we have everything we need and there isn't any room for extras. I personally like that the house keeps us "in check" that way. I have no desire for a bigger house or a bigger mortgage. I enjoy my kids learning to get along and work things out.
We do try to offer them their own space when they need it. Because they share a room, we have tried to carve out little "away" spots for the older two because we do realize there are times when privacy is important and you do just want to be by yourself. Our son has a little loft in the garage he can go out to to hang out alone. And our DD has a special reading area with a notebook that she and I write notes to each other in. Everyone is allowed to ask for space and when it is asked for we try to give it. But again, I see that as a valuable lesson for all of us.

 

[JMSMommy]

I'm giggling a little bit, because I don't think of us as having a large family. 4 kids to me is normal...average sized family.

But, we homeschool, and our two daughters are adopted. Both groups of people tend to settle out around 6 kids on average. We feel good about our 4, nice...balanced...just only slightly crazy insane now.

Financially, we have a budget. Nice strict good Dave Ramsey budget. Been following it for over 10 years now, and while we are more turtles in the Dave Ramsey world, we are comfortable where we are. We never seem to have enough EXTRA money, but the basics are always covered somehow. Consignment sales are great, sales period are great...and as for our Disney trips? Well, we had to sadly say goodbye to the on site stays for condos off site at MUCH cheaper amounts. My choice was "stay on site and go every 5 years or so" or stay off-site and go every other year.

the biggest adjustments to having 6 people in the family? the amount of FOOD the kids consume (we have a teenage son), the amount of laundry produced, and then dishes...

 

[ban26ana]

See, laundry and dishes are what scares me about having more kids. I DESPISE both of these chores, because there is never an end in sight. I never do laundry naked, and there is always a glass of water out, or leftovers in the fridge. I hate that feeling of never being done.

 

[AshleeH]

I love those signatures and enjoy seeing how many kids people have! I've always wanted a big family (at least 3 with an option for 4), but even though we've been trying for a third for a year and a half, it's just not happening for us. Those of you who have the signatures with so many kids, it makes me happy to know that the possibility is there .

 

[pumpkinpatchquilter]

I too really enjoy reading everyone's signatures and seeing all the large families. It's neat to learn how other people live and make their big families work. We have a family of 5, not blended, and some days it seems so incredibly hectic while other days move quick and smooth. I am not the most organized mother but the more children we have the more it becomes a necessity. To be honest I often don't know how we make it work, but we always do!