Large Families (curious question)

[Just*the*ten*of*us]

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We get alot of stares sometimes. I have noticed people counting our kids- believe me I already do that on a regular basis.

YES! We get this alot too....sometimes I just cut them off mid count and say "theirs 8 of them" lol I always tell my husband we should just get shirts made, so people dont have to count. haha Its all in good fun though, I dont mind. I understand not everyone sees large families on a regular basis. We have 8 children, ages 1-13.

In Disney, it takes alot of cooperation and coordination to keep everyone wrangled. I like matching shirts because its so much easier to spot your kids right off when youre in such a huge crowd. As far as being home, the best way I can think that we manage to pull it off (somewhat) is try to stay as organized as possible, stick to a routine, make them do their fair share, and it usually works out pretty well. Sometimes I feel like our house is a well run ship. other days it feels like were sinking. lol

I honestly think that managing that many children is all in perspective. Its what we know. For instance, with 8 children now, I feel just the same as I did when I had only 1. Their are days where I am overwhelmed, but no more than I would have been would I have had 1, 2 or 3 children. I'm used to 8 children, like the mom with 1 is used to 1, and the mom with 4 is used to 4. I dont feel like my job is any harder because I have 8 than the job of a mom with 1. You just grow accustomed to what you have, be it 1 child or 12. In fact, when my husband takes a few kids for the day and I have only, say 5 kids, it feels practically empty in my house.

ETA since it was asked in the question, the children are all myself and my husbands. and for what its worth, since others were discussing it, we homeschool too well right now theyre looking up Disney trading pins on ebay on their laptops, but earlier they were doing school

 

[hipporina]

We have 9 children and love having a big family. We didn't plan on a big family, but we chose a big family. The first 8 of our children are adopted. We got 2, then 2 more, then our next 4 came along as a sibling group and we couldn't resist. Number 9 is our first baby and we had him in February using embryo adoption.

I teach high school at a private school that all of my children attend. My mom, sister, and I started it several years ago after homeschooling for several years. Even the baby comes to school with me!

Honestly, having a big family isn't that hard; it is just different. We have to be organized and structured, but that helps most families. I wouldn't trade my big family for anything!

 

[KristyBDJ]

We have 5 right now with #6 due in early Oct. I agree that it is loud and crazy but honestly I wouldn't want it any other way! We have no plans on stopping either, we'll take whatever the Lord gives us. I do get lots of looks, lots of questions as others have mentioned. "Are they all yours?" "Do you babysit?" "You know what causes that right?" it goes on and on. We really don't get the fascination, I mean just a couple generations ago it was perfectly normal to have large families. Anyway, we are homeschoolers so I guess we fit the stereotypes huh? And truthfully, you really don't notic much of a difference after 3, really. I just throw 'em in the carseat and drive home from the hospital...no big deal. LOL! You throw a little more in the pot for dinner and you learn to be thrifty. It's an amazing life and I can't imagine having only 1 or 2. That's funny since I'm an only child and my DH has only 1 sister! Well, that's my 2 cents I guess.
BTW mine are 10, 6, 4, 3, 1 and baby in Oct.

 

[Shelly F - Ohio]

Some could be families that are fostering kids. Also groups of family might pool together and take advantage of the Yes program at Disney which offers reduced ticket prices for kids that attend educational programs at Disney.

 

[wish_upon_a_star35]

We are a family of 6. It is me and five children. My biological daughter is 16. I decided to do fostercare a 9 years ago and ended up adopting my first placement. A little girl who was very premature. I ended up adopting again. This time a little boy who was also preemie! People thought I was sooo crazy but I loved it! Since all three of the children are special needs (including my biological daughter) I decided to call it quits and close my home for fostercare.

They say if you want to make God laugh, make plans. Last year I got a call for my half twin brothers! Although I am not close with my father at all, I could not turn my back on the twins!

So here I am, five kids later and one again I AM DONE!!! hopefully!!

People always ask me how I do it and quite honestly it takes a lot of organization, planning and realizing there are going to be bad days!! The house is not always going to be as tidy as I'd like it, and feeling like I run a laundry mat is normal

We LOVE Disney and we have taken two family trips back to back. But now with the babies and since I am only one person, we have to do sepearat trips for now.

Last year I was able to take my oldest daughter to Universal for a mommy and me trip. And then we took a short road trip to see relatives.

This year I am taking my youngest daugther to Disney and we are taking a weekend trip to Niagara falls.

It is definitely overwhelming at times...but I LOVE IT!!

Oh yeah, I don't home school, but my oldest is doing cyber school!

I forgot to add the ages!! (D16) D7) (S5) Twin boys 1.5

 

[Blackbeltdisneygirl]

I agree with the poster who said that once you get past 3 it is easy. 3 is where it is hardest. That is when they first outnumber the parents. After you figure that out, it is easier with each kid you add. We have 5 kids. We lost one in between 4 and 5, and would've probably had 10 if it hadn't been for my body quitting on me. I developed two major health issues that stopped me from having any more. My mom is from a family of 5 kids, and my dad is from a family of 11, so holidays are nuts. I never set out to have so many kids, but after the first 3, we decided to keep going!

It does get crazy in our house, but we manage. My kids stay home and do cyber school, but I also supplement with homeschooling (think sewing, cooking, organic gardening, violin, guitar, etc...), and we have a heavy karate schedule. I think for us, we just really like being around our kids. We choose to be involved in their lives and do everything with them. It really doesn't matter what we are doing, the kids are always involved. My neighbors are always commenting on how much the kids help us, but I think it is their duty b/c they live in our house to be part of everything we do. If the leaves need raking, we all rake. If the clothes need to be hung on the line, we all hang clothes. If the garage needs cleaning, well...you get the idea. My kids help me run my side business as well, and I pay them as employees since it is above and beyond their regular chores. They love helping me plan Disney trips, and we are so happy going. We bond over Disney on a daily basis!

I'll be honest, without prayer I probably wouldn't have the strength to do it! Sometimes it gets rough and I feel as though I am dropping the ball, but then one of the kids says or does something that shows me I am guiding them in the right directions, so it all becomes worth it. No matter how many kids a family has, what matters is the time we invest in each other. It isn't how clean our houses are that counts, it's what we do with the time we have with our babies that is important.

Oh, to answer your other question...I don't think of us as a blended family b/c I was a single mom to my 1 year old son when I met my husband. He became his dad right away, so I never think that way, but I guess technically we are. Legally we aren't though b/c my husband adopted my son, so he belongs fully to my hubby. My ex gave up his rights. It is kinda blowing my mind to realize that we are technically blended though! I guess the technicality doesn't matter since my husband took him as his son at such a young age. He's a good man. I've noticed the same thing you did about family size though. It seems like back in the day families were huge, but for a while there they were trending towards smaller families again. Seems like lately we are going back to large families. It is funny b/c people do comment all the time..."YOU HAVE 5 KIDS???" We also notice that kids join our group like sheep when we go places. We'll do a head count and realize we have two extra kids. It's like: "Where did you come from?" I don't know why it happens. Maybe they just want to hang out.

 

[MK2010]

We are a family of 6. And we homeschool! My husband was done after 3, but I wanted a nice square number! My house is constant chaos. I ask myself, "Why did I do this?" Then I remember. They're my retirement policy. Certainly between 4 of them they can support me in my old age in the manner to which I have become accustomed! We moved to El Paso and a guy came out to work on our house. He says, "You realize cable would've been cheaper in the long run, right?" Luckily, the church we serve at now has several families with 3-4 children so we feel right at home!

 

[wallawallakids]

We have 4 too! One marriage. It is great...crazy at times, but great. The only time I really feel it is hard is when we vacation. Just so hard to find hotels and airfare for 6 at a reasonable price. Besides that, it really isn't any different. Just more schedules to juggle and more food to buy. I had 4 kids in 5 years and I think the hardest part was having 4 under 5. Now that they are getting older, things are a little easier. Mostly evenings are hectic with soccer, piano, homework, DH working late...stuff like that. I wouldn't change it for the world.

 

[burnurcomputer]

We have 4 A bigger house could mean a bigger family, for us. I have been married one before, so my kids have "2 different daddys". Not sure why that relevent at all, but thought I would go the way of other posters...

I have 4 boys: 14 tommorow, 12 next month, 4 and 2. My big boys also have 4 sibling from their bio dad and stepmom (that just sounds harsh to say it that way, because we all get along very well!) so my bigs are 1:8 and my littles are 1:4.

 

[portia9]

Life is certainly busy. But it's not like I went from one kid to five overnight. They were all added in gradually. Life is a lot easier now that my youngest is 3 and I have finally finished having babies.

 

[kohlby]

We do not have a large family, since we only have 3 kids. However, I wanted to chime in because I wondered how big families did it too when my first was younger, and even when I was up to two kids. The thing about kids is that they get older! It was impossible for me to imagine my 3 year old and newborn needing less than they needed, since that's where we were in life. But as the kids got older, I understood better how having a large family would definately be managable. It would be more work, but it would be quite possible for me to manage a lot more kids, as long as they were spread out every 2-3 years at the closest. With my three kids being ages 3, 6, and 8, I know I could easily handle more kids if we weren't done. (Which we are mainly due to medical reasons, but financial plays a part too).

 

[Minnesota!]

I only have two children; however, come from a family of 14 children. All full siblings with same parents.

How do they do it ... lots of energy and staying involved in their children's lives. I grew up on a farm and worked right along side both parents. We lived in the country so were pretty much each other's best friends.

I know several people that have larger families and many of them home-school ... again, lots of energy and staying involved.

I actually think it is a wonderful thing to have lots of children, provided that you are able to give them the attention and love they need.

Will have to say I am a bit envious of all the big families. We initially set out to have 4-5 kids. Then it took 3 years and 3 losses to have our first. It was quicker with my second..."only" 1 loss between and about 8 months of trying. But...his birth was rough and we both almost died.

DH refused to have anymore because it was such a scary time. Dh got fixed. We have talked about adoption...but it's just not $$$ in the cards right now. And the older I get...the less I want to take on a newborn again.

I love the chaos that 2 brings....and would have loved to add another couple of kiddos to that mix. God had other plans though....and I focus on that

 

[Mouse House Mama]

We have 5 beautiful blessings. I would love to have one more. I love having a big family. It is always busy but in a good way. For me the transition from one child to two children was the biggest. After that it was not a big deal at all. We do things just like everyone else. We just have more people to schedule for. I truly love every minute of it.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

We have 5 beautiful blessings. I would love to have one more. I love having a big family. It is always busy but in a good way. For me the transition from one child to two children was the biggest. After that it was not a big deal at all. We do things just like everyone else. We just have more people to schedule for. I truly love every minute of it. We do not homeschool but people often ask if I do. We vacation as much as we can and if I was being honest I would tell you that it really isn't difficult. The more kids we have (and the older I get) we tend to just go with the flow. The kids enjoy traveling so that helps.
I am grateful every day for my life. I wouldn't change a thing.

 

[Blackbeltdisneygirl]

We are a family of 6. And we homeschool! My husband was done after 3, but I wanted a nice square number! My house is constant chaos. I ask myself, "Why did I do this?" Then I remember. They're my retirement policy. Certainly between 4 of them they can support me in my old age in the manner to which I have become accustomed! We moved to El Paso and a guy came out to work on our house. He says, "You realize cable would've been cheaper in the long run, right?" Luckily, the church we serve at now has several families with 3-4 children so we feel right at home!

I always joke that I should get 5 Disney trips a year when they are older! That's my retirement policy!!!

We have 4 too! One marriage. It is great...crazy at times, but great. The only time I really feel it is hard is when we vacation. Just so hard to find hotels and airfare for 6 at a reasonable price. Besides that, it really isn't any different. Just more schedules to juggle and more food to buy. I had 4 kids in 5 years and I think the hardest part was having 4 under 5. Now that they are getting older, things are a little easier. Mostly evenings are hectic with soccer, piano, homework, DH working late...stuff like that. I wouldn't change it for the world.

I agree. Most of the time you don't notice the difference it makes until it is time for vacation. We have to get two rooms at Disney b/c it is much cheaper than getting a villa. Flights are rough too, but we handle it. The other time I notice the difference is when everyone grows out of their shoes at the same time!

Will have to say I am a bit envious of all the big families. We initially set out to have 4-5 kids. Then it took 3 years and 3 losses to have our first. It was quicker with my second..."only" 1 loss between and about 8 months of trying. But...his birth was rough and we both almost died.

DH refused to have anymore because it was such a scary time. Dh got fixed. We have talked about adoption...but it's just not $$$ in the cards right now. And the older I get...the less I want to take on a newborn again.

I love the chaos that 2 brings....and would have loved to add another couple of kiddos to that mix. God had other plans though....and I focus on that

I am so glad you were blessed with your two. So many people can't have any, so I always feel blessed that though my medical issues stopped me before I was ready, God had a bigger plan for me! I sometimes comment that He knew 5 was just right for me b/c when my niece and nephew come over...look out! 7 kids makes it a madhouse! They bounce off the walls!

We do not have a large family, since we only have 3 kids. However, I wanted to chime in because I wondered how big families did it too when my first was younger, and even when I was up to two kids. The thing about kids is that they get older! It was impossible for me to imagine my 3 year old and newborn needing less than they needed, since that's where we were in life. But as the kids got older, I understood better how having a large family would definately be managable. It would be more work, but it would be quite possible for me to manage a lot more kids, as long as they were spread out every 2-3 years at the closest. With my three kids being ages 3, 6, and 8, I know I could easily handle more kids if we weren't done. (Which we are mainly due to medical reasons, but financial plays a part too).

It's not so easy when you have 4 under the age of 5 at the same time! My kids are older now, and they do help me with the youngest one, but it was rough when they were little. Funny how much I miss those days!!!! Potty training two while one was still in diapers, cleaning up puke in several rooms in one night because they all decided to do it within minutes of each other, getting the kids out of the tub and finding that while you had your back turned one ran off with the toothpaste and succeeded in covering her whole head with it in less than 30 seconds, and when you get back to the other one, she is sitting INSIDE the toilet with her tub toys in there with her....Aahhh...Good times.

 

[DSNY4ever]

I don't know how big families do it financially. I don't mean it in a rude way, I am just genuinely curious. We both have good jobs and a modest house, modest lifestyle, aren't struggling... but we are crunching the numbers to have a second in a few years and my husband is sweating.

A man talking to me in a waiting room the other day said "once you have more than one it really doesn't matter how many more you have after that, it makes no difference." I just smiled, but in my head I was thinking...no, we would need a bigger car and a bigger house, and that would mean more kids to add onto the health insurance/dental insurance, another college savings account to fund, more food to buy, more daycare fees (Or I quit my job to take care of them...either way less money) etc. etc....

I think adoption would be a pretty amazing thing to do too, if only money grew on trees!

 

[Daisy-J&D]

I was the OP..... and I had said I didn't know anyone IRL with more than 3 kids but I forgot that my BIL has 4!!! I'm the worst Auntie EVER!! We are not close and the kids were born into a less than ideal situation (seems like SIL is pregnant every time they try to get a divorce). It must have been a mental block on my part!

Anyway, I am so fascinated by the larger familes and also homeschooling (I honestly didn't know there was a connection or stereotype). The concept is very new to me. Most of the people I know who are having kids are 30-40 and only have 1 or 2. For us, I was 31 when DD was born and hope to have #2 before I'm 35. We've actually discussed sticking to just one so we can comfortably send DD to a private school!!

 

[Reese]

I don't know how big families do it financially. I don't mean it in a rude way, I am just genuinely curious. We both have good jobs and a modest house, modest lifestyle, aren't struggling... but we are crunching the numbers to have a second in a few years and my husband is sweating.

DH works full time and I work part time opposite shift to him so one of us is always home with the kids. We have a household budget that we live by. We drive older vehicles, the kids wear a lot of hand me downs (it's a waste not to if they are in good repair). They each have a small college fund that they don't know about, that way they save for college. As for groceries we are frugul. If I buy it we use it, we don't waste things. I cook from scratch, we don't eat processed and we don't eat out often. We live in a modest house with no plans to upgrade as our mortgage payment is next to nothing. We budget in money for soccer, ballet, football and gymnastics. We take the yearly total divide by twelve and put that much aside each months so when it's time to register for soccer the $600 is already alloted and there for it. This allows us to save and spend for vacation, which you can see by my signiture, is a big proirity for us. I have the option at my job to work as little as every other week end up to full time hours so if we are planning a vacation that requires some extra money I pick up extra hours. I think the main thing is we live within our means.

 

[wallawallakids]

I was the OP..... and I had said I didn't know anyone IRL with more than 3 kids but I forgot that my BIL has 4!!! I'm the worst Auntie EVER!! We are not close and the kids were born into a less than ideal situation (seems like SIL is pregnant every time they try to get a divorce). It must have been a mental block on my part!

Anyway, I am so fascinated by the larger familes and also homeschooling (I honestly didn't know there was a connection or stereotype). The concept is very new to me. Most of the people I know who are having kids are 30-40 and only have 1 or 2. For us, I was 31 when DD was born and hope to have #2 before I'm 35. We've actually discussed sticking to just one so we can comfortably send DD to a private school!!

I think budgets are hard if you have 2 or 50 kids. Your priorities just change. I know when I just had one (which wasn't for long. ) I was into buying new stuff. We got new strollers, new clothes, new toys. I couldn't imagine putting her in hand me downs, or Goodwill items. Not to sound snobby, I just couldn't see doing it then. Flash forward 5 years and 4 kids later...I couldn't imagine buying things that weren't second hand! I search for deals on EVERYTHING. I buy toys from CL and GW. I try to save everything my older kids wear down to underwear and socks. Everything gets passed on or sold on CL. I don't think I am cheap...I just think 4 kids has forced me to be more frugal and I don't think that is necessarily bad. It has allowed me to teach my kids to budget. Sure they laugh when mom won't buy an item of food because we don't have a coupon for it, but it has also taught them the value of money. My 4 year olds help grocery shop and clip coupons. My older two go straight for the sale section when we need to buy shoes. I look at it like a learning opportunity. I think it will serve them well in the future, esp. in this economy. I am not saying it is easy. I haven't bought a new pair of jeans for myself in 3 years. All 4 pairs I own have holes in the knees. Would I like a new pair? Yes. Is it in the cards right now? No. But we are lucky. We are healthy, we have a roof over our heads, we can buy toys for Christmas. That is not lost on me. I get to stay home with my kids, that to me is more important than having new jeans. I am sure if we had a 5th child, we could find a way to buckle down more and be even more frugal. I think things change when more kids are added and your prospective changes with that. We save for college because that is our priority. Our only debt is our cars (We had to get larger ones when the twins came along!), and our student loans DH still has from college. We will finish the loans off this year. The cars will be done in 2013. I will be so happy by then. I know that won't change the way I spend though. I will just be looking forward to putting more aside for college and retirement. I guess what I am trying to say is that it isn't really any harder because you adjust. If I still only had one, I probably would still be buying Halloween costumes and spending money on fancy hair clips. 4 kids later, those just aren't top priorities but the laughter and joy our 4 kids bring us everyday is worth all the sacrifices in the world. To the point that you just don't feel like it is really a sacrifice anymore.

 

[mommy2_3]

im pregnant with #5 right now. so there will be 3 adults and 5 kids going to disney! yep we are the crazy ones! oh and the oldest will only be 6 when we get there lol!