Ladies, how do you make your Dh feel appreciated?

[Shugardrawers]

My Dh said yesterday that he's just a paycheck with a (male apendage) to me. That is SO not true!! Granted, he's been really driving me nuts lately with little things, but really he's a good guy, hard working, loving, loyal and affectionate. And I love him very much. He's a real simple guy so he's not really into gifts and mushy stuff. Other than cooking him a nice dinner, which I do every night, how do you make your Dh feel appreciated and loved?

 

[NMAmy]

I tell him all the time how much I appreciate the things he does and he does the same for me. DH and I take turns pampering each other. For example, I make dinner most nights and clean up the kitchen. Because he appreciates that, he sits at the end of couch while we watch tv and rubs my feet.

It's a two-way street--as DH has told me before, wives that feel appreciated are much more appreciative of their husbands.

 

[Shugardrawers]

There's certainly no question in my mind that he loves and adores and appreciates me. He makes that extremely obvious every day. I tell him I love him all the time. I think a lot of the problem lately is that I've been so sick and the meds are screwing with my hormones. I'm moody, cranky, tired and I probably don't act too appreciative lately. I don't want him thinking I don't love him. He's certainly been through and put up with a LOT since I got sick. He needs something really special done for him.

 

[kdibattista]

I don't think I can answer that on this board

 

[MICKEY88]

I don't think I can answer that on this board

I was thinking the same thing....

 

[mickeyfan2]

1) Can't discuss or would get banned! (ie the "available" thread)

2) Cook his favorite meal (that he knows I hate).

3) Do one of his mundane tasks for him.

4) Take an interest in his hobby and learn enough to discuss it with him.

5) Give him a kiss at the begining and ending of the day.

6) Tell him thank you when he does the smallest kindest thing for you.

7) Buy him that thing he looks at on every shopping trip but won't buy for himself.

8) Make the bedroom a room that he would like (not pink, frilly or girly).

 

[mickeyboat]

I just simply tell him (among other things ).

I have made it a priority to tell him and the girls more often that I appreciate whatever they do for me.

Sugar - BTW, DH has used that line on me before, too. I wonder if all guys take a class together where they learn all these things.

Denae

 

[SC Minnie]

1) Can't discuss or would get banned! (ie the "available" thread)

2) Cook his favorite meal (that he knows I hate).

3) Do one of his mundane tasks for him.

4) Take an interest in his hobby and learn enough to discuss it with him.

5) Give him a kiss at the begining and ending of the day.

6) Tell him thank you when he does the smallest kindest thing for you.

7) Buy him that thing he looks at on every shopping trip but won't buy for himself.

8) Make the bedroom a room that he would like (not pink, frilly or girly).

I've done most of these. Although DD had her own bathroom she insisted on using ours. So I redecorated her bathroom in a Wilderness Lodge theme just for him so now he has his own room. He had been looking at the iPod Nano for over a month before Christmas. We were going on a cruise and decided not to do gifts for each other. Well. I bought him the iPod and gave it to him before the cruise so he could put his cd's on it. I tell him thank you for filling my car up with gas every other week (I purposely let it get low because I hate to pump gas and I know he will do it for me ). I take DD somewhere for a couple of hours every couple of weekends so he can have some time to do what ever he wants to do.

And best of all--- He gets to live with me!!! What else could he want!!!

 

[mrsltg]

You're a better person than I, Shugar, if you let that line go by without a snappy comeback referring to the size of each .

I just tell him that I love him. Sometimes I send him "I love you's" on his pager or just e-mail him about nothing, really. I put a lot of love into my cooking and look for recipes I know he'll like. I just try to be there for him same way he's there for me.

Of course, there are my "womanly" ways to make him feel appreciated, as well.

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

It's simple. By telling him I love him throughout the day and being affectionate.

 

[In a hurry]

This may not be appicable, but when I was in chemo, my husband suffered a bout of situational depression. I was in my own little world at the time, but I remember him syaing somehting of the same sort. I think we just made an effort to spend a bit more time really involved with one another, and it helped. (Sorry for vagueness, but that time is still a bit of a fog for me.)

 

[Cantw8]

I polish his remote

 

[movtarget]

Ummm... I'm not a lady, but at the risk of butting into the conversation, how about a little 'guy insight'.

Men want to feel important (relevant). This usually comes across as being needed and appreciated. Note that I use the word important, not famous, or in charge. (those things make us feel important, but they don't necessarily make us actually important).

So, how do you do that? Several of you have hit it on the head. Constant reminders that the things we do are important to you. Even taking a low-level interest in our hobby shows that you are paying attention to what brings us pleasure, and therefore your interest makes us feel important.

We are also kinda like puppies. You can play with us, and we'll all get great pleasure, but the moment you stop, we want more. We don't always get that you have other obligations, because as puppies, we are focused on what's happening now.

In summary, a bunch of small efforts to recognize our achievements (no matter how insignificant they might really be) that are sincere go a long way. For us guys, 'thank you for taking out the garbage' goes almost as far as 'thank you for the wonderful (expensive) bracelet' if both comments are sincere.

Moving Target in NC

 

[mickeyboat]

In summary, a bunch of small efforts to recognize our achievements (no matter how insignificant they might really be) that are sincere go a long way. For us guys, 'thank you for taking out the garbage' goes almost as far as 'thank you for the wonderful (expensive) bracelet' if both comments are sincere.

Moving Target in NC

Thank you so much for your insight. I really appreciate it.

I have one comment, though. Sometimes I feel a little resentful that I should have to thank him for taking out the garbage. He never thanks me for going grocery shopping or doing the laundry. Do you know what I mean? I guess he needs to work on being more appreciative, too - but that's a subject for another thread.

Denae

 

[Pam]

Ladies, how do you make your Dh feel appreciated?

 

[JCJRSmith]

Here's another guy perspective - these will usually make a guy feel appreciated:

1. Sex (yeah, who didn't see that coming?)
2. Electronics
3. Power tools

BTW - scientists have broken the code on the Y (used to say X - I fixed it) chromosome - it tranlastes into "He who dies with the most toys wins!"

No, really

 

[mickeyfan2]

I polish his remote

Your so bad. Now I will have to ask DH is his remote is in need of polishing!!

 

[mickeyfan2]

BTW - scientists have broken the code on the X chromosome - it tranlastes into "He who dies with the most toys wins!"

Shouldn't that read SHE? I think you ment Y not X.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I could be wrong here, but it sounds like the OP has been very ill, and perhaps has not been able to be her DH's constant Maid,Mother&Mistress.

I can say that my DH is one of those who never really appreciated all that I did for him, and for our marriage. I am truly not putting him down and male-bashing. That is simply just the way it is. His mom always had taken care of eveything. And, all of this was simply not in his conscience reality. I think that this is still very common in guys. Like the one other poster said... Did I go around demanding to be thanked and having my ego stroked??? Well, I would have been in trouble if I had, because a 'Thank You' would have been months and years in coming. The very thought of hearing my DH say 'Thank You, I appreciate that' for every time I washed and folded his underwear and socks.

Unless the OP is being demanding and critical of the things he is doing... which I do not get the feeling is the case, Then maybe her DH may need to adjust his expectations and get over it. ????

Just from the tidbits that the OP has posted, it sounds like these two know that they love and appreciate each other. To me, it sounds like the DH may be a bit 'down' about how things have been going. And his fragile immature male-ego needs stroking. However, In reality, there are times in life when it is not about acting like two love-stricken teenagers.

I am all for showing love and appreciation!!!! However, this is something that should not be constantly needed or demanded. Just a word of warning... An ego serves no real purpose. And it seems that the more you feed them, the bigger they get.

 

[smilie]

And his fragile immature male-ego needs stroking.

Huh? It might just be the way that I see it, but if the OP thought he was immature she wouldn't be asking for suggestions on how to make him feel better. But again, that's just how I see it.