You said he loves it, but there's no reason for us to drink cow's milk. Any calcium in it is used up, plus more, while digesting it (something that has been known for over 20 years and yet milk is still touted as a calcium drink...you end up at a calcium negative after digesting it). Any other nutrients useful to humans are *added* to it, they aren't intrinsic in the milk itself. So you could get them elsewhere.
We do use dairy products here, but never think we need them... And DS wasn't using them as a toddler (he was still getting tons of human milk, though, LOL), the cheese addiction came about later.
Many people who can't have other milk can have unpasteurized milk. Did you know that milk contains lactase? The enzyme that breaks down lactose? It's in human milk, too...as long as the milk is UNpasteurized. Plus unpasteurized milk has all the other good stuff in it too. But I would NOT suggest it to someone not totally comfortable with the idea, and if you don't have a nearby GOOD dairy that has nice clean healthy cows that it's being sourced from, then I would be totally hesitant to suggest it. But I did want to talk about it since you mentioned it. I personally would be comfy drinking it and giving it to DS if we felt the need to have cow milk around to drink, but not everyone is comfy with it. I also grew up with it, when my mom could afford it.
I hear goat's milk is good for those who can't otherwise have cow's milk. But it has a stronger taste. And costs a fortune; even more than unpasteurized cow's milk.
As for soy...meh. Cow's milk pretty much IS hormone. Straight from the cow. The argument against "non-growth hormone treated cows" milk is that cows milk already HAS growth hormone in it. (the argument for non gh treated cows is that the natural amount is better than MORE, and pumping cows full of hormones isn't good for THEM, either). So you're already drinking hormones...the fact that soy has things that can *act* like hormones doesn't seem much different to me.
If you can, just dump the milk. None of us *need* it. Get the nutrients elsewhere, and use water as a drink! *
*this hasn't been what we are able to do...I'm speaking from what I WANTED to do but experienced pushback from the husband, so we use soymilk when DS wants milk. now, a few years later, hubby realizes that milk does a number on his glucose levels, so he doesn't even drink it, grr. But DS usually just drinks water; the soymilk is barely used, so that's good.