know anything about rome? (long)

[Philadisney]

a rather wacky situation fell into my lap today and i am not sure what to do. last time i was contemplating a career change i got a lot of great advice from this board, so i thought i would try again.
DBF is headed to Rome for 9 months (!) to finish grad school, leaving in August. i have been out of college for a few years, and make a small(very) salary working at a television production company. i don't enjoy my job, but i love my co-workers and know that considering the industry i am in, i am lucky to have this steady position. i have braced myself for DBF's absence over the next year, and frankly am more scared about what will happen when he comes back, if he is not able to get a job in the philadelphia area and has to permanently move away from me.
Well, today he asked me to come with him to Rome. his school is throwing a lot of money at him to get him to go, and he thinks that they might even give him money for me as a domestic partner. his friends have suggested that i try to get a job there as an english teacher or a tour guide. i would love, love to go to rome. i have never even been overseas. of course i would visit him while he's there, but the idea of spending so much time there with him sounds like something i might regret if i don't do. the idea of throwing away the very steady job i have - even though it pays little and i don't love it - is a bit frightening, however. and like i said, i have never been overseas. i don't speak a word of italian!
anyway, i would just love any advice from anyone who has spent time in rome (working or during college, etc), or has been in a similar situation. it is so hard to make the choices between stability and the possibility of a more fulfilling life.
at the very least, thanks for reading all of my babbling!

 

[Just2554]

I really have no advice on this, considering that I've never been in this type of situation, but wow. Rome for 9 months with my BF would sound like heaven to me. It's my number 1 "I will get there someday!" spot and if there was nothing here tying me down, I'd be gone in a heartbeat.

Good luck to you and no matter what you decide, don't let fear of the unknown make your decision for you!

 

[ga9497]

I don't know about living there but I have been there and am Italian. Most places the people speak at least some English if not a lot of English

When we were there I would speak to everyone in Italian and then when I would translate for my husband 70% of them would switch over to English even if it was limited.

If didn't have anything holding me down here and a job I wasn't fond of, I would go in a heartbeat

 

[Laura]

Well, I've never been to Italy so I can't advise you on that specifically. I will say that you should go to Rome, but not unless you have something for YOU to do while you are there other than sitting around waiting for your boyfriend to get done with grad school work. I know, there's lots of stuff to see but there's only so much sightseeing you can do in 9 months. I spent four months in London during college studying abroad, so this is experience talking. I had classes to take, and I got to see plenty of London while I was there, but I wasn't a tourist. I was a student. I can't imagine having gone to London and had nothing to do other than sightsee. I would have been bored out of my skull, eventually. And spent all my rent money!

Similarly, in this situation, you would not be a tourist, drinking coffee in the piazza and going to see the Pantheon/Vatican/Forum/etc. every day. You will be living there. You will have to go to the store, clean the apartment, do laundry, pay bills, etc. Your boyfriend will be doing work, but what will you do? If you get a job, it will probably be a very low-level one since you don't speak a word of Italian. I don't know the demand for, say, English-speaking tour guides--many Romans do speak English and have an advantage over you in that they know the city better.

I'm not saying this to discourage you, but if you're serious about going, I really think you should plan it carefully and make sure you'll have something rewarding to do over there. I don't know what the dynamic between you and your boyfriend is, but with both of you working now and you potentially not working if you both go to Rome, it could screw up the balance, make you too dependent on him.

I hope you go to Rome, and I hope you make what would be a dream for some a reality for yourself.

 

[figment52]

The only advise I will give is this - would you rather look back in 20 years and say

"I wish I would have tried/done that"

or

"I'm sorry it didn't work out like I expected but at least I tried the experience"

 

[MelessaG]

I lived in Italy for over a year just after I finished college and I loved it. I would do it again in a heartbeat, but getting older, getting married, having kids, and established career paths for both of us makes it highly unlikely. Do it while your young with limited ties to work and family. You'll be glad you did later.

edited to add you are welcome to PM me with ??'s, just know that it's been more than 10 years since I was there and may not have good answers.

 

[Philadisney]

THANK YOU everyone for your comments. Obviously this is a huge, life-changing decision that i am taking very seriously, and i think the best way to figure it out is to do as much research as possible. and getting outside opinions from others who may have been in similar situations or know a little bit about the country really helps. my biggest concern is really what the heck i would do over there for such a long time, i don't know if i could legally work since i am not a citizen, and although i could try to learn some italian before i go, not being fluent in the language won't help me!
DBF and i are going to talk this over in depth this weekend - he just mentioned it to me over the phone last night so i need to get more details from him about the whole thing.
thanks again for all of your thoughts everyone - the more the better!

 

[OhMari]

Don't get discouraged about the jobs. When we were in Italy, we saw students working in shops and stores and resturants for the summer. We have a tourist area in my state "Wisconsin Dells" In the summer it is all international students working there. There is no language barrier.

 

[mickeyboat]

When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

Sorry, I'm not much help. But if I had the opportunity you do, I would jump at it.

Do you think you would be able to find a job back home if things didn't work out over there?

Good luck.

Denae

 

[VSL]

Go go go!!

You will pick up the language very quickly (remember, English, French, German, Italian, etc. all originate from the same thing), you will have a chance to see some amazing things (I study Egyptology and Ancient History in Uni and, while the Roman's are my least favourite, seeing it all is amazing). This could be an amazing experience. If it doesn't work out, at least you can say, 'well, I gave it a shot - and I got to go to Rome!'.

Europe (as a whole - and I'm including the UK in this, regardless of the fact that British people like to seperate themselves a little from everyone!) is a great place, and you'll get to experience a whole new culture into the bargain.

Of course, as everyone else has said, only you can make this decision and please think it through carefully first.
I know I'm saying 'Go go go!!', but I'm a very carefree person - in fact, I have every intention of moving to live in another country in a few years (probably Canada, Australia or NZ) - and I'm not going to be the one in my relationship with the more important financial job (in fact, I'll probably have to move to England in a few years for my BF to get a job as a Clinical Psychologist). Please do think about it though - we only get one chance (at least that we're consciously aware of!), and you can't turn the clock back.

Like I said though - your decision, and many of the posters before me have given great advice as well.

My warnings? Watch out for the graffiti, the Smart cars, and the double parking everywhere

 

[Sleepy]

I live in Naples. Maybe we could get together if you do decide to move. If you have any questions about culture shock, PM me.

 

[Sandy V.]

The only advise I will give is this - would you rather look back in 20 years and say

"I wish I would have tried/done that"

or

"I'm sorry it didn't work out like I expected but at least I tried the experience"

This is excellent advice.

(If it were me, I'd be mentally packing my bags already!!)

 

[toto2]

I will say: go !

Rome is en expensive city to go as a tourist , so this is a unique chance. I would not worry about having nothing to do . Rome is like many Europeen city where you can find something to do each and every day. Trains are plenty and cheap in Italy , so going out of town for aday to see more site is very easy.

Many things you could do is , if you have a passion for cooking , or painting , or writting would be to indulge in it. There are markets on every street corner in Rome with the freshest product Write a cook book with your the hundreds of experiment you will make ( Make it an "Under the tuscan sun" kind of novel with recipies !). Give english private classes , visit every museums...etc . This chance of indulging will never come back ! Go for it ! ( And you could ask your job if the could give you a long , unpaid vacation) Check if there are english speaking radio station in Rome where you could work or volonter !

 

[ford family]

I would suggest you look at http://www.esteri.it/visti/home_eng.asp to see whether or not you can even get a visa.
Tourist visas are usually only good for 90 days, student visas have to be requested through a university and working visas are only applicable if you have a needed skill or profession and a job to go to.
Remember, unemployment is very high in mainland Europe. Normally a visitor has to show a return plane ticket on arrival together with proof of where they are going to stay, how they are going to support themselves, etc.
You might want to talk to the Italian Embassy and explain what you are wanting to do and ask if they have any constructive suggestions.
Good luck.

ford family

 

[goodeats]

I don't think you'd be able to work (Visa issues), so be prepared to keep yourself occupied. But really this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. And if this BF is a 'keeper', I wouldn't want to be apart from him for 9 months.

I missed out on your age and how long you've been at your 'career'. But honestly this isn't something I'd pass up.

ETA - No job is truly stable. What if you passed up this opportunity and then were laid off in two weeks?

 

[Philadisney]

thank you everyone for your advice and thoughts! i really, really appreciate it. we are still gathering info, but the thought now is that i probably will not be going to live with him. this is for a variety of reasons, including me having to quit my job, having to find something to do with myself while over there, how busy he will be when over there, and that this might be a challenging way to try living together for the first time. i will be going to visit him both in the fall and in the spring, and he'll be back for a month over christmas, so although we'll miss each other, i don't think it will be too bad. and i'll still get to go to rome! he won't be leaving until august, and we are also consiering that perhaps i could join him just for his second term (january - may), so it's still up in the air. it is great to hear all of your opinions, thanks for helping me out as we sort through this decision making process!

 

[pogo791]

Philadisney,
Good decision. It was probably a tough call, but this way, you get the best of both worlds: you can keep your job at home, and you can still make extended visits to Rome. The short times you and your BF will be separated by an ocean will go quickly - you have your work to do, he has his studies, and you can still keep in contact by phone. And you can start counting the days to Christmas when he comes back, or to next year, when you can join him in Rome ...
It isn't that easy to get a job in Rome. For one thing, some jobs are very restricted. For example, all tour guides have to be licensed, and it's almost impossible for a non-resident to get the license. And almost all of the foreigners you see working in other jobs in Rome are either from another EU country or they are working illegally. (Italy is notorious for its huge black labor market, so working illegally isn't that big a deal. But on the off-chance that you are caught, there is the risk that you will be summarily thrown out of the country without a chance to come back in.)
When you do join your BF in Rome, you'll love it. There's a huge difference between visiting Rome as a tourist, and living there. You get the trials and tribulations of having to get along with the Italian bureaucracy, but then again, there's a wonderful book written for Americans living in Rome, containing lots of great hints on making the adjustments. And being able to wake up each morning in Rome is worth the hassle. You have all of Rome to explore, all the sights to see, all the markets to go through, all the restaurants to visit - and then you can start thinking of Rome as a base to visit other beautiful parts of Italy, or to take quick trips elsewhere in Europe. For a person who has never been outside of the US, it will be great to have the chance to drive up to Paris, or to Berlin, or take a longer trip up to Amsterdam or London.
And use the time to pick up the language. By the time you joing your BF in Rome, he should be able to speak at least some Italian. Why don't you immerse yourself in the language while you're there, seeing how far the two of you can go without having to revert to English? It's fairly easy to pick up, and it'll come in handy later on in life.

 

[Philadisney]

pogo791, thank you for all your advice! it is a good idea to work on picking up the language - DBF will be taking classes this summer, so i can help him study and learn a bit myself for our trip. that book you suggested sounds like a great thing to get him - i found one by searching amazon.com that i'm going to order for his birthday in may. thank you (and everyone) for sharing your thoughts, i've got a great list of suggestions & advice from you all that i will be referencing over the next year

 

[JohnsPrincess]

GO!!! Realy - Go!! If you don't like your job and don't make much money anyways - then you can always find something else when you return. I LOVE Rome. I love all of Italy in fact! The people are some of the most friendly I've ever encountered, the country is beautiful, etc etc etc. I would go in a HEARTBEAT. Lol.

 

[nealymouse]

Let your DBF go for 3months and then take a 6 month leave of absence.