kinda sensitive question, divorce and scrapbooking

[RadioNate]

I think I'm just looking on opinions or thoughts on what other people have done.

Let's just say that 2010 was a BAD year.

I don't know what to do about my 2010 album. I feel like I should do it for my kids. I also know that if I pack it up for later it'll never get done. Do I just skip 2010 all together and just start 2011. I have a book already embossed for 2010.

The photos from they year are VERY painful. This is all very new and raw.

I do have a friend who will do the album for me. However, I'll have to sort though everything to send it to here. If I'm already doing that, how much more would it take to just glue it down. I'm not looking for fancy here. Journaling is out of the question right now.

Then there is the question of what do I do with the last 11 years worth of albums. I can't stand them. I'll obviously keep them for my kids but until then...pack them away?

 

[mom2faith]

I think I'm just looking on opinions or thoughts on what other people have done.

Let's just say that 2010 was a BAD year.

I don't know what to do about my 2010 album. I feel like I should do it for my kids. I also know that if I pack it up for later it'll never get done. Do I just skip 2010 all together and just start 2011. I have a book already embossed for 2010.

The photos from they year are VERY painful. This is all very new and raw.

I do have a friend who will do the album for me. However, I'll have to sort though everything to send it to here. If I'm already doing that, how much more would it take to just glue it down. I'm not looking for fancy here. Journaling is out of the question right now.

Then there is the question of what do I do with the last 11 years worth of albums. I can't stand them. I'll obviously keep them for my kids but until then...pack them away?

I have not gone through this, this is 100% just an idea.

Is there some way you could do the album and really place the focus on the kids. You state several times that they are for the kids, so can you keep the majority of the photos and information about them?

I know that right now it seemed like a terrible year, but what were the happy times? Was there a special event that took place for one of your children? Was there a milestone in school or sports? I would start with these kid focused pages and go from there.

Yes, eventually the birthdays and Christmas and other family events should be done, but start with the happy times and it will all fall into place

And, there is no harm in having 2010 be a "Condensed Version". Maybe this album will just be a smaller one that really focuses on the triumphs.

Good luck!! And {{{HUGS}}}

 

[RadioNate]

Actually, I think you have inspired me towards a solution.

I have new individual albums for my kids that I started this year that are just milestones and encompass several years in each album. I just put professional pictures and the holidays in them. Maybe 10 pages tops.

I have 2 kids and 2 embossed 2010 albums. I guess I could do an album for each of them with their year. It would be the end to the 'family' focused albums but that is ending anyway.

If I move over those pages and finish the year it would be out of order and would leave me with the 2 coversets but that isn't really a huge deal. I could eventually use them. Maybe that is the solution.

thanks

 

[mom2faith]

Glad I could help!!

I guess in some ways I am not too worried about "Out of Order". I organize more by theme within an album - ex: Here are all our MK photos (even though they were days apart). I think you could do it "Out of Order" and still make a very classy complete album. Save those "hard" pages to the end. It wil give you more time to heal.

The only experience I have with this is my Neice's baby album. I spent hours taking photos of where we all were in the year before she was born (jobs, homes, cars, price of this and that, etc). It was my very first neice after all (never even did that for my onw - LOL!!).

Anyways, 2 months before she was born, her uncle, (my sister's brother-in-law) committed suicide. We were all very close and it was a very difficult time for us. I had already had so much information collected about him and it was so hard to share. I ended up finishing the book and giving it to my sister at the baby shower without anything about him in it. It was about 6 months before I finsihed those pages and added them to the album. We all just needed time to heal, but at the same time, my neice needed to know that despite mental ilness her uncle was a very special person. Make sense??

Basically what I am saying (in a long winded rant) is focus on the good stuff and save the tough stuff for later! You will be fine and maybe scrapping will be somewhat healing for you as well.

Again - {{HUGS}}

 

[pink_fins]

I have one daughter and only doing one album (just about done)

She is divorced now and I had to come up with something too....
Her wedding was a very happy time for us....... divorce (not so happy)

So, I ended up putting the pictures of the whole family (my sisters etc)
Of course HE was in them, but the rest of the family was too. I thought it came out great. put some of her flowers and ribbons too.

I am sure you are creative and will come up with something.

gail

 

[LindaBabe]

Been there done that - just not recently. Save the old family albums for the children - pack 'em in a box and stash them somewhere. The man is part of their family of origin.
You'll know when it's time to get them out and give them to the kids.

Tincture of time heals a lot of wounds or at least scabs them over. If I'd been a scrapbooker back then, I think eventually journaling would have helped, even if it never went in the book. At least, you can scrap the good times with and for the kids.

There was a good article in one of the magazines recently on scrapping the hard stuff. I thought when I read it that it sounded like a good idea I wished I had known about at the time.


Just some encouragement - hang tough! Life *will* get better!

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

I'm sorry to hear about your divorce Alison.

I have a similar situation with my BFF. When she was getting divorced she dropped all of the pictures to me.
In the divorce decree he asked for 1/2 of the wedding pictures. I sorted everything and tried to evenly match up shots or duplicate shots. She told him I had everything sorted and said I was using hers to make an album for the girls so he asked me to make one for her pics for one girl and use his for the other.

I haven't done the albums yet, I'm waiting for a head ups that the girls are ready for them.
BFF has also gotten remarried since then and the girls were in the wedding. DH and I were the photographers at that wedding so I'm going to make small albums of that wedding too.

Anyway, I like the idea of an album for each of the kids. Keeping the focus on them will hopefully make it easier to work on.

 

[RadioNate]

Thanks.

It really stinks but turns out I wasn't married to the man I thought I was AT ALL!

I'd like to my kids to have their year though. It was't bad for them and they don't have the knowledge about the lies told etc that I do.

I used to do a 'family' album with 2 volumes but I think 1 album for each kid is a good solution for this year. We are still a family, even if one of our members decided he wanted a different family.

 

[JohnsonsLoveDisney]

Been here!

My ex is kinda a jerk the last few months we were married sucked big time. And I am way further behind in scrapping than a year, so I had some times that he was there to scrap still. Luckily he wasnt around alot anyways so scrapping "around him" is pretty easy. I do put pics of him with the kids into their albums, if he was there. I am currently scrapping 2008 Disney vacation. Which he was there for. I'm a little snarky because I am a little more picky and choosy about which pics I scrap than I think I would have been when we were still married and every now and then I just crop him out. All in the name of creativity, but i do crop myself out a lot of times too especially since the ex was a lousy picture taker.

I keep all of my albums out, because my girls like to look through them all the time.
It will get better soon. I do second the idea of focusing on the good times more than just life in general.

 

[lizavance]

Things will not always be this way. My ex-SIL was a real as*&%$ole but he was the father of my beloved granddaughters (11 & 13 years old). He passed away yesterday and the girls are devastated. My DD said they spent all day looking at the old albums and I now know why we do what we do. There are times when these labors of love mean more than we know.

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

Oh Liza, I'm so sorry for the girls. I'm glad they have the albums to look at.

Hugs to all of them!!

I feel the same way about BFF's ex. While he was such a jerk to BFF, he is still the girls father and I have honor that relationship when putting their books together, even though I would love to do nothing more then gouge his face out of every photo.

 

[JohnsonsLoveDisney]

even though I would love to do nothing more then gouge his face out of every photo.

"Creative Cropping"

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

"Creative Cropping"

Uh, yeah, something like that!!

 

[JohnsonsLoveDisney]

Thats how i justify it anyways. Its kinda hard when hes holding a kid. cause you cant have a floating baby. but it works out alot of other times.

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

they'd be happy if I glued Justin Biebers face over their dad's! LOL

The oldest is still clingy to him, the youngest wants nothing to do with him. They watched him hurt mom pretty bad when she decided to leave. It was a rough go for a long time.

 

[Pixieflip]

Hugs to everyone.

Your ideas sound good. I helped my aunt and cousin sort through something similar with his dad. Suffice to say, years later, it was kind of like oh, well, it was the history of who we were. It was probably easier than if we'd tackled it right away, but still, those reminders are there. Hopefully you can get through it and your new life can have a new focus in your scrapbooks! Who knows how that will be?? The rest is still unwritten...



The floating baby comment made me laugh out loud!

 

[JohnsonsLoveDisney]

they'd be happy if I glued Justin Biebers face over their dad's! LOL

The oldest is still clingy to him, the youngest wants nothing to do with him. They watched him hurt mom pretty bad when she decided to leave. It was a rough go for a long time.

ewwwww bieber. crazy how that works. my girls are the opposite. but they both have their days where neither wants to go visit him.

 

[Reddy]

I like the idea of doing the kids albums
I kinda think a "highlight" album would be good later - scrap a LO of kid's birthdays, holidays, etc.

I think a LO of a broken heart (I think a 11.5 in heart - torn in half) half on each side of 2 page LO - pic of courthouse or where this happens (b&w) on left then on right page a note saying that as of date we are no longer together.

that way 150 years from now & your great,great,great grandkids are looking at your ablums they would know what happen & why he is no longer around