Kinda OT...Feeling Guilty

[sk!mom]

Dragging kids through the parts of a theme park they don't want to be in is selfish, and as I said previously, it's perfectly OK for 7 year old DD to learn that sometimes you face disappointments in life.

I totally disagree with your example- It's part of being a family to do things that aren't your choice but someone elses. A child over about 5 should be able to deal with that if you don't want to raise selfish children who think "we only do what I want if I'm along."

It's perfectly Ok for a seven year old to learn that life has disappointments AND that sometimes you do what someone else chooses because you are a good sport and they are important too.

 

[mrsklamc]

I would hate to be the one to look in the eyes of those kids and tell them that mommy and daddy are going to see Mickey and he didn't invite them. The OP must be made of stronger stuff than me.

No one in their right mind would say it that way. And if you can't say no to your kid, she turns into my college roommate whose mom drove two hours one way once a week to do her laundry for her.

 

[NancyK]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with doing a couples-only trip to YOUR favorite vacation destination. It's not like you won't be taking them back again.
DSis and DBIL have twice gone to WDW by themselves for 4 days each time for milestone birthdays. The kids stayed here and I can honestly say that not once did either of them complain that their parents were at Disney without them. They knew there were other family trips planned and that it was their parent's turn (kids were 5 & 8 years old the first time their parents went alone and 7 & 10 this past trip). Please don't feel guilty and don't let anyone else make you feel guilty. Going to an "adult" location because someone else says so is ridiculous. If Disney is where you want to go then do it! Bring the kids back something nice and talk about your family vacation plans and they will deal with it without being scarred for life.

 

[delmar411]

Dh is going to WDW w/o the kids in June for Star Wars weekends. They know it and are fine with it. He took our ODS last year because he was free and he felt too guilty to go alone.

This year I booked him on his own and while he still feels guilty, I know he's excited. It's pretty impossible to do all the Star Wars things w/ a toddler in tow.

My ODD had a good bit of a pout last year when she found out about their trip but she was gone and couldn't have gone with him anyway. This year we'll all be visiting my folks and he'll fly down that weekend and then be back in time to drive home with us.

I'm taking just my ODD in April to meet up some of my birth club mommy friends. It will also be her 10th b-day on the last day so she's getting a pretty special mommy and me type trip. The other 3 will be left behind w/ DH.

I'm also going in Jan for a me trip. As soon as I know the dates I'm booking it. I'm only going there because of our DVC points. I might not even go into the parks at all.

Dh have a trip planned for our 10th anniversary. We never had a honeymoon and we're heading to Disney to be newlyweds again. It will be the honeymoon we never had. I've got zero guilt over that either.

I never understood the *rule* that WDW was only for your family (if you had kids). WDW is fun but there are a ton of activities that just aren't do-able or fun with kids.

 

[DiznEeyore]

No one in their right mind would say it that way. And if you can't say no to your kid, she turns into my college roommate whose mom drove two hours one way once a week to do her laundry for her.

Holy smokes!!! Can you say "spoiled"?

 

[northcapemaymom]

Sorry, I guess I am a decenter here. I have always found "Mommy and Daddy" trips to WDW selfish. If you must have an adult only vacation, pick another location.

That is a good one! Adult trips to WDW selfish! Maybe there would be less relationship strife in the world if more people went to WDW without their kids! I love my kids, but I need to nurture my marriage, too! And I'll vacation any darn place I want to...kids need to learn that the universe doesn't revolve around them!

To the OP: Go! Go! Go! and don't feel one ounce of guilt. Your kids will grow up one day and will want to take trips on their own. Trust me...they won't feel guilty at all! Enjoy!

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

I don't know how you can plan a trip without them either. I can't imagine how your 7-year old DD felt after she found out that mommy and daddy were going back to WDW without her. Especially when she overheard your conversation. You didn't even get to rehearse the "Mommy and Daddy deserve to have a vacation alone blah blah blah ..." spiel.

Sorry, I guess I am a decenter here. I have always found "Mommy and Daddy" trips to WDW selfish. If you must have an adult only vacation, pick another location.

I am not quite sure how a trip would be selfish. We took the kids last Dec. we are taking them to WDW oct 2009 and DL spring 2010 (maybe more my relatives live 20 min from DL). The cost for any trip is pretty expensive so why would my DH and I want to spend tons of money on a trip that we really don't want to go on?

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

Call it whatever you like. That's the way I feel. I would NEVER consider going to WDW without my DD. OK ... my DH went to Disneyland because he was working in LA for 2-3 months. Not a big deal. He was already in CA and we were in WI. We visited him for a weekend and we had a great time. But to plan a whole vacation without the kids to WDW? Nope. No can do.

I would hate to be the one to look in the eyes of those kids and tell them that mommy and daddy are going to see Mickey and he didn't invite them. The OP must be made of stronger stuff than me.

I am eother sorry I asked or sorry you responded. I forgot that you get angry at many things that I have written (even judged me about generic soda)

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

That is a good one! Adult trips to WDW selfish! Maybe there would be less relationship strife in the world if more people went to WDW without their kids! I love my kids, but I need to nurture my marriage, too! And I'll vacation any darn place I want to...kids need to learn that the universe doesn't revolve around them!

To the OP: Go! Go! Go! and don't feel one ounce of guilt. Your kids will grow up one day and will want to take trips on their own. Trust me...they won't feel guilty at all! Enjoy!

Thanks. My DH and I haven't even been out to dinner alone in 2 years. We really need to do something. Both DH and I have been to several places before we met but since we found WDW it is our favorite spot. We did not get to go to any of the WS pavillions and my kids wanted to go back to the resort pool by 3pm. I thought if we went we could do all the things we wanted to do and when we go back in Oct we will feel like we didn't miss anything.

 

[robinb]

No one in their right mind would say it that way. And if you can't say no to your kid, she turns into my college roommate whose mom drove two hours one way once a week to do her laundry for her.

Since when is having a family trip saying "no" to your children? A trip to WDW is a big thing. It's not a sleep-over or the new hot toy. I can and do say "no" to my DD plenty of times. But I don't say "no" to going on vacation with me.

BTW, I'm not just picking on GOOFY4DONALD, even though she thinks I am. I say the same thing to EVERYONE who asks: "Should I leave the kids home?" or "Should I leave the baby home?" or "Should I only bring one child?" The answer from me is always: NO! If you have young kids then bring them all along.

Hey, delmar411: What the heck does ODS and ODD mean? I just can't figure them out!

BTW, GOOFY4DONALD ... I wasn't the only one who thought that selling Sams soda at your garage sale was nasty. Did you sell it all? Just wondering.

We did not get to go to any of the WS pavillions and my kids wanted to go back to the resort pool by 3pm.

Psssst: They are open after dinner! Talk about someone who can't say "no" to their kids.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

Since when is having a family trip saying "no" to your children? A trip to WDW is a big thing. It's not a sleep-over or the new hot toy. I can and do say "no" to my DD plenty of times. But I don't say "no" to going on vacation with me.

BTW, I'm not just picking on GOOFY4DONALD, even though she thinks I am. I say the same thing to EVERYONE who asks: "Should I leave the kids home?" or "Should I leave the baby home?" or "Should I only bring one child?" The answer from me is always: NO! If you have young kids then bring them all along.

Hey, delmar411: What the heck does ODS and ODD mean? I just can't figure them out!

BTW, GOOFY4DONALD ... I wasn't the only one who thought that selling Sams soda at your garage sale was nasty. Did you sell it all? Just wondering.



Psssst: They are open after dinner! Talk about someone who can't say "no" to their kids.

Garage sale went fine thanks for asking.

 

[robinb]

Garage sale went fine thanks for asking.

Well ... I'm glad that everything worked out for you then .

 

[Handbag Lady]

You should go.

My parents never vacationed together or even so much as went to dinner alone over the years. They divorced at 29 years of marriage. My mom says it was because they never developed outside interests together.

Am I saying if you don't you'll divorce? NO!!! Not at all. I'm just giving an example and backing you up.

And tell the kids you are doing the stuff that really interested you that they thought was boring. Remind them you didn't get to see what you wanted to see.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

You should go.

My parents never vacationed together or even so much as went to dinner alone over the years. They divorced at 29 years of marriage. My mom says it was because they never developed outside interests together.

Am I saying if you don't you'll divorce? NO!!! Not at all. I'm just giving an example and backing you up.

And tell the kids you are doing the stuff that really interested you that they thought was boring. Remind them you didn't get to see what you wanted to see.

I understand what you are saying and I totally agree. My parents were exactly the same as yours. My mom never worked and devoted her entire life to us kids at the expense of her marriage. I, too, decided to give up working to stay home with my kids. Not because we are rich, far from it, but because we don't have all the things (brand new cars too much house) that most people have that say they can't afford to stay home. My DH and I have given up so much so that we can be there for our kids 100%. Don't get me wrong I am not complaining. We are now (for the first time in almost 10 years of marriage) at a place the we can financially afford things like a couples only trip. I have had to watch my mom take my kids on trips in the past because we just could not afford to go.

 

[HunnyPots]

If you're tough enough, do it! Your kids won't be emotionally scarred or anything. It will most likely be harder on you than them.

That being said, I could never have gone to WDW without my kids when they were little. Call me a wimp, whatever. I went to California with my dh two years ago and spent the day at Disneyland. I had a great time but I felt so lonesome for my kids while watching the evening parade! (psssst - my kids were 15 and 18 at the time!)

 

[delmar411]

Hey, delmar411: What the heck does ODS and ODD mean? I just can't figure them out!

.

Older dear son, older dear daughter

HTH!