Kinda OT...Feeling Guilty

[GOOFY4DONALD]

My DH (the one that didn't want to go to WDW ever) decided that he enjoyed our last trip that he would like to take me to WDW in Dec ...without the kids. We did have fun last time but we didn't get to see much of Epcot or MGM because the kids were bored. They also tired out hours before my DH & I were ready to go back to the resort. Now we are planning on taking the kids on a short trip to Silverwood this summer and we do have a 7-10 (not sure yet) day trip to WDW already being planned for Oct 2009 with the kids and their aunt and cousins. But my DD overheard my DH & I talking and she has the rest of the kiddos upset that we would plan a trip w/o them.

I must add that my DH and I have never, ever been out of town without the kids. We didn't even have a honeymoon.

 

[okeydokey]

Absolutely go!! Will this trip be good for your marriage? If so, it will be good for the whole family. There is nothing wrong with taking a little break from time to time when parents can reconnect and enjoy themselves and each other. It sounds like your kids get some nice trips too.

 

[sarahlovesmickey]

I also say to go. Explain to them that sometimes parents go on trips without their kids and it's no relection on how you feel about them.

 

[pixiewings71]

I would go. In fact, my SO and myself went to DL 2 weekends ago for a long weekend. We have AP's and we took a 4 day weekend to spend some us time. It was great, we had a great time and we got to do what we wanted to instead of what the kids wanted to. Sometimes it's important for the *big kids* in the family to have some time together too. I would simply explain it to the kids and let them know about the 2009 trip. Good luck!

 

[MinMouse]

We did just that for our 15th anniversary. We had never been away before and we went for three nights (Tuesday to Friday). The girls were busy at home with school and their activities which my parents were kind enough to ferry them to. My parents liked that we went during the week so they didn't have so much entertaining to do because the kids were in school. We had a wonderful trip doing exactly what we wanted to do in WDW. Don't feel guilty . . . go and have a great time!

 

[StitchandPooh'sMom]

I think you should definitely take a trip away from the kids once in a while. As far as going to WDW, I know my kids would be crushed if I went to WDW without them (DH is not a big Disney fan, so he would never suggest it ). I don't think I could do it - I would feel terrible knowing that they love it as much as I do and I didn't take them. That's not at all to suggest you shouldn't go or that you have to take the kids - I just don't think I could do it.

Obviously your kids are not deprived and they have another trip to look forward to, so it is more a question of whether YOU can relax and have fun knowing that you left them home. I'm sure it would be easier if you were going somewhere boring-sounding, but if you want to go to WDW, then go and have a wonderful time!

Another thought would be to take along a sitter, older cousin, aunt, uncle, grandparent, whoever, so you and DH can go to some evening EMH and have some adult fun. But that kind of defeats the purpose of the trip, which should be some quality time with your DH without having to take care of your kids at the same time.

Good luck with your decision! Kids are masters at guilt trips from an early age!

 

[jeepgirl30]

I'm all for couple vacations also. DH and I didn't have a honeymoon either and did disney 1 year later. We've been to vegas and a few other places including Disney when the kids were really little.

However, now that the kids know about Disney, I could not go to disney without them. I have to go to Orlando for work and feel guilty!

Is there anywhere else you'd like to go? I like the idea of taking the kids and using the babysitting services while the adults have a nice dinner but it sounds like you and your DH need more alone time than just a few dinners.

Whatever you decide, have a wonderful time!

 

[ceecee]

I just couldn't go to WDW without DD, it would break her heart. I'm sure DH would agree, that's always been our vacation though and we have gone every year since she was born. Now that she's 12 and becoming independent we do more together alone and we actually miss her being with us (most of the time).

 

[kfeuer]

Go! My DH and I have taken several trips without kids, and they have always been fantastic. Don't let the kids guilt you out of doing this. I really believe our society has gotten too kid-centric. They need to learn the universe doesn't revolve around them...they are obviously not being deprived!

 

[LSchrow]

the first time DH & i did a trip sans kids, they did the "sad look" daily so we started making that time a cool vacation for them. the plan was to stay with my parents. they each picked out a new game to play with their GP's, i bought microwave popcorn & blockbuster GCs (for some movie nights), new PJs (nothing says vacation like new jammies, imho ), etc. we had the kids plan their "vacation" (with input from "mama & papa" of course ), with a trip to the aquarium, a few play dates, etc.
the kids wound up looking foward to all the things they had planned (instead of focusing on what we would be doing without them), & wound up having a great time!! (a week later, they even asked if we can go away again lol).
btw, we did call nightly, & they loved telling us all the fun things they were doing!
hth

 

[justcantwait]

We did that in '05 for a major birthday of mine. The kids were 3 and 6, and knew where we were going, as they had already been there twice. We just explained that it was mommy's birthday present, and we'd bring them each back something special, whatever one gift they asked for. In the meantime, they were having a great time with their grandparents for 5 whole days! It was good for them, and even better for us. It's really OK to go somewhere without your kids, even if it' somewhere they want to go too. They'll go next year. My parents took my 2 kids and my sister's 2 to WDW without us or my sister. We didn't try to make them feel guilty, did we?? No, no matter how jealous we were! Go and enjoy yourself. You'll be a stronger couple and better parents for it.

Kathy

 

[horseshowmom]

the first time DH & i did a trip sans kids, they did the "sad look" daily so we started making that time a cool vacation for them. the plan was to stay with my parents. they each picked out a new game to play with their GP's, i bought microwave popcorn & blockbuster GCs (for some movie nights), new PJs (nothing says vacation like new jammies, imho ), etc. we had the kids plan their "vacation" (with input from "mama & papa" of course ), with a trip to the aquarium, a few play dates, etc.
the kids wound up looking foward to all the things they had planned (instead of focusing on what we would be doing without them), & wound up having a great time!! (a week later, they even asked if we can go away again lol).
btw, we did call nightly, & they loved telling us all the fun things they were doing!
hth

I agree completely! Definitely go, just plan some great things for them while you're gone. Also remind them that they'll be going in October '09 (which will only be about 10 months later).

I would also explain to them that you were going to see the stuff that bored them last time, so they wouldn't have that great of a time anyway.

 

[mrsklamc]

Go! My DH and I have taken several trips without kids, and they have always been fantastic. Don't let the kids guilt you out of doing this. I really believe our society has gotten too kid-centric. They need to learn the universe doesn't revolve around them...they are obviously not being deprived!

I totally agree! Our society as a whole is suffering because of people who didn't teach their kids that sometimes IT'S NOT ABOUT THEM OR ABOUT WHAT THEY WANT. (AND THAT'S OK!) These kids all grown up are the ones who have screwed up the entire economy by taking out home loans they couldn't afford because they have to have what they want, and NOW.

Go and have a fabulous time!

 

[Tnkrbelle565]

Absolutely go. Adult only vacations are just as important as family ones. We always take a least one long weekend trip a year. (Vegas in two weeks...baby!)

 

[DiznEeyore]

You should definitely go. We've gone several times over the years without our son.

The way we explained it to him was this: Mom and Dad need alone time, and WDW is our favorite vacation place. We're not going to take time off and spend money doing something that's less than our favorite, so off to Disney we go.

We did take a couple of short trips without him (not to Disney) when he was 3 and 4, and went on our first WDW adult-only trip when he was 6, so he grew up understanding that this is how it is.

He's been many times over the years and really doesn't have a problem with us going without him. In fact, he'll be going without *us* in a couple years -- his senior trip is to WDW.

Really, WDW is a completely different place when you don't have the kids with you. Give it a try -- you might feel a little guilty the first day or so, but I'm willing to bet that will pass.

 

[robinb]

But my DD overheard my DH & I talking and she has the rest of the kiddos upset that we would plan a trip w/o them.

I don't know how you can plan a trip without them either. I can't imagine how your 7-year old DD felt after she found out that mommy and daddy were going back to WDW without her. Especially when she overheard your conversation. You didn't even get to rehearse the "Mommy and Daddy deserve to have a vacation alone blah blah blah ..." spiel.

Sorry, I guess I am a decenter here. I have always found "Mommy and Daddy" trips to WDW selfish. If you must have an adult only vacation, pick another location.

 

[DiznEeyore]

I have always found "Mommy and Daddy" trips to WDW selfish. If you must have an adult only vacation, pick another location.

That's pretty judgmental.

As I said in my post, time off and money to vacation is precious. Why would we waste it going somewhere that's less than our favorite? That would be stupid. Just because your kids like a place and you choose to go there without them (especially when you're taking them back there within a few months) doesn't make you selfish. Sheesh.

 

[mrsklamc]

Dragging kids through the parts of a theme park they don't want to be in is selfish, and as I said previously, it's perfectly OK for 7 year old DD to learn that sometimes you face disappointments in life.

 

[sk!mom]

I couldn't go to WDW without my DD11. She loves it as much as I do. I would miss her too much. Plus I would have to ride all the thrill rides alone as DH's motion sickness keeps him off all those.

However, we often travel without her and think that it is important to our marriage. For us it's been Vegas (few times), Europe (twice), Seattle, and weekend trips around the state without her. I find as she's getting older, though, I'm more reluctant to go without her as I often think how much she would love a place. She will be going on our next trip to Europe. It will probably only be Vegas without her for the next few years - until she's grown and doesn't want to go with us.

Bottom line for me- It's fine for kids to know that the world doesn't revolve around them- even if it seems like it does 95% of the time. But for me, Disney is all about the kids.

 

[robinb]

That's pretty judgmental.

Call it whatever you like. That's the way I feel. I would NEVER consider going to WDW without my DD. OK ... my DH went to Disneyland because he was working in LA for 2-3 months. Not a big deal. He was already in CA and we were in WI. We visited him for a weekend and we had a great time. But to plan a whole vacation without the kids to WDW? Nope. No can do.

I would hate to be the one to look in the eyes of those kids and tell them that mommy and daddy are going to see Mickey and he didn't invite them. The OP must be made of stronger stuff than me.