Kids Say the Darndest Things

[AJRitz]

About a month ago, DS3 introduced us to his friends, Soggy and Nat.

Soggy is his right foot.
Nat is his left foot.

Then, he informed us that Soggy and Nat live in California, which was rather interesting news, given that he (and the rest of his body) lives in Kansas.

 

[Spoonful of Sugar]

I have a Disney one! DD (21 months) is really into Arielle. The other night in the bath she was playing with a toy whale that squirts water out of its blow hole. I pointed to it and told her, "See, the whale has a spout." She replied, "And Arielle too!" I guess because Arielle lives under the sea she's kind of like a whale.

 

[ban26ana]

My oldest was 2 1/2 when my second was born. I nursed both of my children. Dh asked dd#1 how the baby eats. She replied, "Reagan eats from the creepy bottles."

 

[enchantingodin]

This thread is awesome! I have a non-Disney one to share. Most adorable thing EVER!

Our car was in the shop so I was driving my grandmothers truck to pick up my kids from school. My eldest sees a car that looks exactly like my mothers and says, "Grammy! Mommy why is Grammy here?"
Me - not realizing what he was talking about yet; "She's not here buddy"
Him - pointing frantically; "But her cars right there!" She has a very specific color that was not made on very many models, in fact I've only seen it twice.
Me - looking to see where he's pointing at; "That's not Grammys car honey. But it sure does look the same doesn't it? It's just the same kind."
Him - "Really? What kind is it?"
Me - "A ford taurus."
Him - "What kind of car is great Grammy's?" (What I was driving.)
Me - "A ford exploror"
Him - "What kind of car do YOU drive?"
Me - "A volkswagen jetta"
Him - Thinks for a minute then says, "Does it have a lot of bolts?"
Me - confused; "Sure I guess so buddy..."
Him - "So is that why they call is a boltswagon?"



I literally died laughing! Almost swerved off the road and everything. So flippin funny. Well at least to me.

 

[PigletsMommy]

This thread is awesome! I have a non-Disney one to share. Most adorable thing EVER!

Our car was in the shop so I was driving my grandmothers truck to pick up my kids from school. My eldest sees a car that looks exactly like my mothers and says, "Grammy! Mommy why is Grammy here?"
Me - not realizing what he was talking about yet; "She's not here buddy"
Him - pointing frantically; "But her cars right there!" She has a very specific color that was not made on very many models, in fact I've only seen it twice.
Me - looking to see where he's pointing at; "That's not Grammys car honey. But it sure does look the same doesn't it? It's just the same kind."
Him - "Really? What kind is it?"
Me - "A ford taurus."
Him - "What kind of car is great Grammy's?" (What I was driving.)
Me - "A ford exploror"
Him - "What kind of car do YOU drive?"
Me - "A volkswagen jetta"
Him - Thinks for a minute then says, "Does it have a lot of bolts?"
Me - confused; "Sure I guess so buddy..."
Him - "So is that why they call is a boltswagon?"



I literally died laughing! Almost swerved off the road and everything. So flippin funny. Well at least to me.

I had to read this one out loud to my husband! Thanks for the giggle!

 

[mom2cookies]

Several years ago, we were taking our 4 kids to an amusement park that is a couple of hours away.. we had to go through a farming community. Passing and pointing out the sheep, horses and cows to the kids to keep them occupied. After passing some cows, my youngest daughter ( might have been 7 or 8 at the time) became really excited shouting " Mommy mommy, i saw that cow laying on his ( yes his) egg! " rofl of course it was the cow's udder but she just loved babies at the time and thought it was wonderful to see the mommy cow laying on her egg.
Also not too long ago just this past winter ( dd is now 16 and not blond lol ) walking home from school she told DS ( 14) that she wondered how telephone poles grew so straight. She was dead serious too.

 

[mickeyluvr004]

These are great.. reminds me of when my DD now 11 when she was around 3 and potty training she was doing poopies and as we flushed the toilet she would stand there waving and saying "bye bye poopies have a nice day" we still tease her to this day...

 

[MomtoEmIs&Ow]

This thread is awesome! I have a non-Disney one to share. Most adorable thing EVER!

Our car was in the shop so I was driving my grandmothers truck to pick up my kids from school. My eldest sees a car that looks exactly like my mothers and says, "Grammy! Mommy why is Grammy here?"
Me - not realizing what he was talking about yet; "She's not here buddy"
Him - pointing frantically; "But her cars right there!" She has a very specific color that was not made on very many models, in fact I've only seen it twice.
Me - looking to see where he's pointing at; "That's not Grammys car honey. But it sure does look the same doesn't it? It's just the same kind."
Him - "Really? What kind is it?"
Me - "A ford taurus."
Him - "What kind of car is great Grammy's?" (What I was driving.)
Me - "A ford exploror"
Him - "What kind of car do YOU drive?"
Me - "A volkswagen jetta"
Him - Thinks for a minute then says, "Does it have a lot of bolts?"
Me - confused; "Sure I guess so buddy..."
Him - "So is that why they call is a boltswagon?"



I literally died laughing! Almost swerved off the road and everything. So flippin funny. Well at least to me.

THat is REALLY funny though!!!

 

[nchulka]

Conversation between my kids in the backseat when DD was 3 and DS was 2.

DD talking about things she likes, last thing she mentions liking is learning about God.

DS "I don't learn about God"

DD "You better learn about God or you are not going to have a very good life after you die"

It was so funny, and so sweet

 

[mrs.sammich]

My cousin just went to her prom, which started me thinking about how fast she's grown up. When she was 3, my aunt took her and her brother (5) to WDW. My mom and I went along to help 'wrangle' the kids. Sitting in the back seat between the two of them after a long day in the parks, I was dodging the shoes and socks they were taking off. I teased her about her feet stinking. She replied, "My feet don't stink. Girl's feet smell like roses. Boy's feet smell like wet dog." Who am I to argue?

 

[SunnieRN]

My 4 year old grandson is always coming up with something. While we were at WDW last week, I took him to Epcot on our own one day, as little brother was sick. We went on Figment, played the Mission Space games and had traveled around the "entire world". He asked to go on Nemo. I am visually handicapped, blind in one eye and night blind in the other. I told him I didn't feel comfortable walking through the Que without anyone to lead me, He said "I can do it Gramma!"

I decide, what the heck, worst thing that would happen is that I would have to "braille" it.

We walk into the Que, he holds my hand, we go about 10 feet or so and he shouts out, "everyone out of the way, my blind Gramma is coming through, and she is fat, so you don't want her to step on you!"

Needless to say, if there was a hole to hide in, I would have been there!!

 

[MissLiz]

These are so funny!

The church ones remind me of when DD was about 4. Our church hands out the little glasses of wine and we don't do it every week, so DD had never really noticed it. One week, DD saw that they were handing out "drinks" and asked me "Do you think they have chocolate milk?"

Just recently, we were at the mall and I was looking through some racks to see if I could find any shirts for me and DD (who is now almost 8) kept showing me things that were small or extra small. Finally, I told her that those wouldn't fit me, so she proceeds to grab an XL and says "This looks like it should fit you!" I wear a medium.

 

[tebi73]

About a month ago, I was driving DS8 to school. My cellphone dropped out of my purse and slid into the back seat. I asked him to hand it to me. It was taking him forever, so I asked him if he heard me. He said "I already put it up there." I said, "Up where?" He said, "Up there - on the CONGRESSMAN." I said, "On the WHAT?" He said, "You know - the CONGRESSMAN - that thing with the cupholders up there between the seats." He meant the CONSOLE.

Also, the past year, he's been really into reading and studying his Bible. We've been having Bible Question Nights at church once a month where the church youth can ask the Pastor any questions that they might have and he will do his best to provide them with scriptures, etc. to answer them. During the first class, the Pastor asks for a question. DS8 raises his hand. I just brace myself, because who knows what he's gonna come up with. He says, "Who's Billy God?" The pastor is just dumbfounded. The other kids all just look at DS like he's crazy. The pastor says, "Who?" DS says, "Billy God." The pastor says, "Billy God?" DS says, "Yep." The pastor asks him to explain. DS says, "You know during church, when you say - PRAISE BILLY GOD". Who's Billy God?" The pastor says, "Son, I'm saying PRAISE BE TO GOD!" We all got a huge laugh out of it. He still will just randomly blurt out "Praise Billy God" sometimes in the car and just bust out laughing.

 

[ccgirl]

We were at WDW last month at 1900 Park Fare. The stepmother comes over to our table and my DD7 asked her why she didn't like mice. The stepmother said something to the effect that they were awful and said, "why...you don't like them; do you?" To which my DD replied, yes I like them, they live in my basement but my daddy exterminates them cuz mommy doesn't like them. Well, the stepmother didn't miss a beat, kept her straight face and said, "charming child...charming".

 

[Karenj2]

Kinda Disney related - When DH and I *finally* got pregnant with my DD, we debated between calling her "Cletus the Fetus" or "Nemo" - Nemo won. Anyway, my Dniece (4 at the time) was so excited for us when we announced that we were pregnant, and we were calling her Nemo (until she was born). My niece stopped and said, "Wait... You're not having a fish, are you??"

Same niece, in a Disney bathroom stall:
Dsis: "Honey, are you almost done?"
Dniece: "Mom, you'll know when I'm done when you stop hearing the plopping!"


[edited]

 

[MissLiz]

Oh! I forgot a potty one from DD!

When she was about 3, she would not go #2 for anything, so we finally had to bribe her. We told her that she couldn't have chocolate milk unless she went poopy.

Well, one afternoon after she had been successful, we went out for dinner and she told the waitress "I did poopies so I can have chocolate milk!" in a very loud voice. Hey, she was proud! Me? I wanted to crawl under the table and hide the rest of the meal.

She also used to wait until the last minute to go to the bathroom and then she say "Hurry a-for I pee myself!" We still say that all the time.

 

[Momof2princess']

DD5mos started crying while I was cleaning the restroom so I didn't hear her. My DD3 yelled at me, "Mom, DD wants the boo*...right now!!!!!" At least she said it at home with no one else around!

 

[Classof83]

Years ago when my oldest DD was around 2, hubby and I took her to see her first movie (The Lion King).

The first: the movie starts, all the animals come together to see the new lion cub, Rafiki holds Simba up in the air and as the music comes to a stop (with a loud drum beat), the screen goes black. My DD says in a loud voice "THE END!" The entire theater chuckles.

The second: the same movie, after Mufasa rescues Simba and Nala from the hyenas in the elephant graveyard, the three are walking back home. Simba and Nala are trailing behind quite reluctantly, and DD says in a sing-song kind of way "They're in trouble!" Again, everyone seemed to enjoy her commentary.

 

[tebi73]

Just this morning, DS8 gave DH a card for Father's Day that plays "Born to be Wild" when you open it. DS was running around our vacation cabin singing "Oh Jimmy Wise" to the tune of Born to be Wild. We don't even know anybody named Jimmy Wise... He hears the wierdest things wrong...

 

[savs]

I work in a pre-school and at the beginning of the year I asked one of the little boys in my class "Where does your dad work" and he said "He sells people drugs"....I'm like really? His twin brother goes "Yeah, he's a Pharmacist".....I couldn't stop laughing and couldn't wait to tell their mom that one.

My DS at age 3, would sing the Hannna Montanna song "You get the best Doritos". Not sure where that came from, but we of course had to have him sing it to everyone.

My other son around age 5 would walk around the Menards store, "Save Big Money, shop at Bernarads"....really load and had many people laughing and looking at us funny.