Kids home alone? What age?

[mommaU4]

I was just wondering what age you started or will start to leave your child home alone? I know it depends on their maturity level but I'm just looking for a ballpark age.

I ask because I know someone who leaves her two kids home alone frequently while she shops or runs errands. They are 10 and 12. They are by themselves for hours sometimes and it just makes me nervous. I guess I'm one of those over-protective moms.

 

[Sandy V.]

10 and 12 sound like reasonable ages, provided that the specific kids in question are mature enough.

That was about the age when DH and I started leaving them alone to run errands, go Christmas shopping, out to dinner locally with another couple, etc. We would call them several times on our cell phone to check up with them. They were usually just watching television, playing on the computer or with the video game, or reading a book, so they would get irritated by the frequent interruptions. But it gave us some peace of mind.

 

[bananiem]

Mine are almost 10 and 11 1/2. I leave them alone to run one of them to sports practice or to do a quick errand (30 minutes or less). DD, the older one, can be left alone for longer. I make sure a neighbor will be home. We leave them alone together for up to 2 hours while dh and I go to dinner. They both know if something happens while we're gone the privilege will be taken away. We practice fire drills, they know about 911 and the neighbors. I trust them. Now, if I had some other kids I know, there is NO WAY I'd leave them alone.
It was really hard to leave them the first few times though!

 

[NMAmy]

DD stayed home alone when she was around 10. This the age cutoff usually for latchkey programs. What do you do with them then if you work? We lived in townhouses then and the school was just behind our house. She'd walk home with a friend, call me to let me know she was there, and then either do her homework or play with other kids in the townhouses. She's always been pretty trustworthy.

 

[tiff211]

DD started staying home for a couple of hours when she was 11. I think I would be more nervous if there was more then one but I would still do it.

 

[marybet]

My grandchildren are 11 and 12 and they left them home alone all summer. We had them visit for a month and would have kept them longer because I just don't think they are mature enough to be left alone. They live in a rural area, their parents work is 30 miles away and I think it is a disaster waiting to happen.

 

[pugslee]

When I was about 10 and in fourth grade, I had entered middle school. My mom works at the elementary school in town and middle school people go home before elementary. So then I have to stay home alone for about 45 minutes. I got a housekey and I just have to stay inside until she get's home. I ususally only either watch t.v. or do homework. Anyway, 10 and 12 seam like resonable ages.

 

[Bob Slydell]

4

 

[Planogirl]

My son is 12 and I've been leaving him alone for short periods since he was about 10. The only problem he's had was a plumbling problem that would have happened whether he was there or not.

I'll have to leave him alone for longer periods if I EVER find a job. Luckily, he's almost 13 and quite responsible.

 

[Mister Incredible]

My son started 6th grade this year and gets home about an hour before my wife. On Wednesdays he's home alone for 2 1/2 hours. He always calls me before he does anything.

We let him stay home for quick errands.

 

[Galahad]

11 or so for us if I remember right.

 

[Hillbeans]

12 and 10 sounds about right. That's about the ages my parents left my brother and I home to go out to dinner on Saturday nights. They didn't have cell phones then, but I remember them calling once during the evening to see how we were doing. We were also not allowed to use the oven, stove, or washer/dryer without them home.

I like the idea of the test run's by starting out with a 20 minute errand, and working up to a 1.5 hour dinner or something.

 

[golfgal]

http://www.nccic.org/poptopics/homealone.pdf#search='national%20clearinghouse%20home%20alone'

This is a good reference from the National Child Care Center.

These are guidelines, NOT laws, except a few states where they have something on the books about leaving a child home alone for a "reasonable" amount of time. If you go to page 4-5 of this it will give some guidelines for what is "reasonable".

 

[gr8tpanther]

In the state of PA, a child can care for themselves (stay alone) at the age of 8, at the age of 10, they can care of younger siblings over the age of 6. My kids have been staying home alone since they were about 8 and 10. I can't afford daycare on my "salary" if that is what you want to call it, some might call what I make an allowance!

Really though, it boils down to maturity as stated and responsibility of the child.

 

[dismom9761]

My DS10 has recently stayed home alone for up to 30 minutes .I am lucky that my brother and SIL live nextdoor and so far they have always been home when I have left him.Now my DS8 will probably graduate before I leave him alone.

 

[we3disneygo]

my dd12 has been staying home for short period of times, I got gas, have ran to the video store, very short errands she seems to be ok. I call her on my way there and on my way home....

 

[kilee]

A few years ago when DH and I went through parenting classes for the Foster Parent program-- they very clearly said that in NYS it is child endangerment to leave a child alone under the age of 11. I remember it so clearly because I never really gave thought to it, I just assumed it would be a maturity issue over an age issue.

That website is interesting. While most of it is guidelines not laws. I am sure it is a basis for how different jurisdictions decide in some child neglect cases.
I noticed some places don't allow you to leave a 12 yr old alone for more than 2 hours, then some allow an 8 yr old to be alone that long. Seems the guidelines across the country are all over the board.

As for in our family. We began leaving ds alone occasionally at 11 (since that is what the social workers said at that trainning). We felt he was mature enough. Never at night though (he still doesn't like the dark) and never if we're more than 30 minutes away. Also, in general we don't leave him alone for more than 2-3 hours.

I think this would be different for every family, because kids can be so different.

 

[Christine]

This past summer was the first time I left my kids alone for any length of time. I work full-time and my daycare options for my 10 year old son fell through. Believe it or not, I've had my DD in daycare up until she was 13. This summer though, I could find NOTHING for them. So, it was either quit my job or leave my kids at home alone all day. They were 14 and 10. They did fine but, I will tell you, I do not like it. I know kids stay home alone much younger. I just don't think it is a good thing and should be avoided at all costs. A lot of people will leave a very young child at home to avoid daycare costs. I just think it is asking for trouble, although, I'm sure in most cases it all works out.

 

[Tinijocaro]

OK- then how old would you allow younger sibling(s) to stay home with a 10 or 12 year old? Younger sibling would be no younger than 6.

Jackie

 

[Christine]

OK- then how old would you allow younger sibling(s) to stay home with a 10 or 12 year old? Younger sibling would be no younger than 6.

Jackie

I just wouldn't do it.