SuiteDisney
<font color=CC66CC>Short Post Man cracks me up!<br
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2001
- Messages
- 4,731
The following apparently comes from a Catholic
elementary school. It could happen...
Kids were asked questions
about the Old and New Testaments. The following
statements about the Bible were written by children.
They have not been retouched or corrected (i.e.,
incorrect spelling has been left in.)....
In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got
tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark,
which animals come on to in pears.
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire
by night.
The Jews were a proud people and throughout history
they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.
Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray
by a Jezebel like Delilah.
Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of
the Apostles.
Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where
they made unleavened bread which is bread
without any ingredients.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.
Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount cyanide
to get the ten ammendments.
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam
to eat the apple.
The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit
adultery.
Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then
Joshua led the hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua
told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
David was a hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people
who lived in Biblical times.
Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and
700 porcupines.
When Mary heard that she was the mother of
Jesus, she sand the MagnaCarta.
Jesus was born because Mary had a immaculate
contraption.
St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do
one to others before they do one to you. He also
explained, "a man doth not live by sweat alone.
It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead
and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
The people who followed the lord were called the
12 decibels.
The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was
also a taximan.
St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy
acrimony, which in another name for marriage.
Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
elementary school. It could happen...
Kids were asked questions
about the Old and New Testaments. The following
statements about the Bible were written by children.
They have not been retouched or corrected (i.e.,
incorrect spelling has been left in.)....
In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got
tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark,
which animals come on to in pears.
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire
by night.
The Jews were a proud people and throughout history
they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.
Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray
by a Jezebel like Delilah.
Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of
the Apostles.
Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where
they made unleavened bread which is bread
without any ingredients.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.
Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount cyanide
to get the ten ammendments.
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam
to eat the apple.
The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit
adultery.
Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then
Joshua led the hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua
told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
David was a hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people
who lived in Biblical times.
Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and
700 porcupines.
When Mary heard that she was the mother of
Jesus, she sand the MagnaCarta.
Jesus was born because Mary had a immaculate
contraption.
St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do
one to others before they do one to you. He also
explained, "a man doth not live by sweat alone.
It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead
and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
The people who followed the lord were called the
12 decibels.
The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was
also a taximan.
St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy
acrimony, which in another name for marriage.
Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
