Kids at 2 different schools?

[BeckyScott]

Yesterday was the last day of school. I had posted earlier about how next year youngest DS was going to be placed in a different school in our district that is starting 2 Spectrum Classrooms. The option was presented then that oldest DS could either stay at our "home" school or be transferred also. I initially said we'd move both of them, because the schools have the same hours and I didn't know how I'd coordinate that.

Well yesterday was very traumatic for oldest DS and I realized we keep pulling the rug out from under him in order to accomodate youngest DS. He was really upset, as were several of his classmates, I mean you had to be there, but we decided that he would stay at the same school, and youngest DS would transfer, and they'd be at two different schools.

There are things to be worked out, and I was hoping somebody here had experience with this. Transportation- since DH works 2nd shift, getting both of them to school isn't a problem. They will bus youngest DS if we want, since the school board is the one that moved him, but I have always picked him up because it gives me the opportunity to check in with his teacher or para. Oldest DS we live too close for him to ride the bus to his school, and he'll be in 5th grade so if the weather is good he can walk home, I'd probably beat him home or at most I'd be home in just a few minutes. Oldest DS's school also has an after-school program so he can stay there easily enough.

I guess my concern is more of the "other stuff". Open house, PTA, parent-teacher conferences, assemblies, all that junk. Since the district sets the date for much of this stuff, I suspect I'll run into conflicting schedules.

Have any of you had two elementary-aged kids attending two different schools?

 

[jfranklyn]

Well, I can't offer you a ton of advice, but I can commiserate! I will have two children in two different elementery schools next year as well. My daughter is entering 5th grade and is in a G&T program at one school (for 4th and 5th graders from all over the district), and I have one starting Kindergarten at our "home" school.

I think that we have the pickup and dropoff problems solved, or are close to solving them anyway. My 5th grader may have to wait a few minutes at school until one of gets there, but she's old enough that I can trust that she have any problems with that.

From what I've been told by our district, the elementery schools are encouraged to each use different nights for their PTO meetings and things like that, but for back to school night, etc, it's MANDATED that it be different nights. The same board members and administrators would have to be in two places at once if they didn't do that.

For what it's worth, I definately think that you did the right thing. Removing a child from their environment, for whatever reason, at that age is very difficult, and I commend your decision to make it harder on yourself in order to make it easier on your child.

 

[BeckyScott]

I know our back-to-school nights are at the same time. However, they're usually two hours long and you really only need 1/2 hour, so we can just go to one and then the other. Parent/ teacher conferences are over the course of a day and a half, so I just need them scheduled at different times.

I am counting on oldest DS's school to be cooperative. Since they were both at that school this year, the school knows the situation.

The good part is that the "home" school is maybe 8 blocks away, and the new school is about a mile, with our house between the two. So it's not a 20-minute drive or anything.

Another prob for me is that I was pretty active with the PTA this year and planning to do so again, but that's at the "home" school. I also asked to be oldest DS's room mom, since this is his last year of class parties. So that means I won't be "just down the hallway" from checking on the other party. And then trying to decide how much to get involved at the new school. Since they're basically shuffling most of the kids with autism to that school, it's a good opportunity to get involved, possibly meet some more parents. Looking at it now, it looks like I'll be running my butt off.

(my butt could use some running off, though)

 

[HopperFan]

My kids were apart all their years. In two different elementary - and they weren't even close in distance - 15 miles. When #2 went to the same middle school #1 had been at, #1 had just moved to high school. At the same time #3 was in elementary. Then #1 and #2 were in two different high schools, while I still had #3 in elementary and middle.

I read your previous post about keeping them together but did not respond because my feeling was you should not move your typical child. My #2 had asked about attending #1 high school so they could be together, and I told him no. That he needed to stay at our home school, make his own set of friends and then the time he spent with #1 after school would be more special. I didn't want him to be burnt out or feeling like #1 always came first. They have an incredible bond. #2 is a Spec O track coach for #1s team. #2 just finished his first year of college and will be a camp counselor this summer for special needs kids. I think the space is good for both of them. #1 became more independent and #2 has a great appreciation for his brother and the special needs community.

You make it work. Once I got the schedule for open house (usually the same night) my DH would try to go if in town, but if not I went to the most important one at the time. Usually it was the home school. I knew I could schedule time with the special ed teacher anytime. Sounds like with your distance you can handle both in one night. I found that my volunteering in the school with the special needs was really more directly involved with the class, not so much the school community. I picked different jobs at each so that they usually did not conflict. Write your calendar in pencil and just be ready to go with the flow.

Sounds like a good decision and it will all work out

 

[Nik's Mom]

Oh yes, I have experience in this! My sons are both high functioning autistic. We lived in California up until about 3 weeks ago. In our school district there, special needs kids are general kept in a different classrom (they are not mainstreamed). To make matters worse, they are usually not at their home school and it is not unusual to change schools every year. My sons have been in the same school district since pre-school and have never been in the same school. What we ended up doing was to use the school bus transportation. It was the only way to get both kids to and from school, since I started work too early and dh could not get both kids to school on time.

When i wanted to communicate with the teachers, I would include a notebook in my son's school folder and would jot down any questions/concerns. The teachers were always good and providing feedback that way. Also, you can try sending e-mails to the teachers.

As for back to school nights, we did have to split up for those, with both of us taking notes at the meeting. During open house, those are usually a couple of hours long, so we were able to spend time at both schools.
Good luck with your decions!

 

[I Love Pluto]

You will have problems with back to school nights, concerts, start times, etc, but you will NOT regret your decision. I remember your other post, and I was the one who felt that your older son should stay at his own school. It is really important for him to have his own identity other than being someone's brother. Thank you for considering his feelings in your decision.

You must be really good parents to care about your kids so much. You'll work it all out - I know you will!

 

[ecki]

I'm not going to have to deal with this until the 2009 - 2010 school year, but I've been interested in the responses. I'm very active in my older daughter's school. We live in a small town and I feel it's important to be part of the community.

Kayla will likely be going to a special needs school 30 - 45 minutes away. But I also want Kayla to be part of our community, so I'll probably skip whatever they do at Kayla's school and bring her to the events at the local school. With Kayla's school, it would be about KAYLA'S progress and I can catch up on that with a visit, phone call or email. But at the local school, it's all about COMMUNITY and that's something that for me it's important for the whole family to be a part of.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

My boys were at the same school for several years since the oldest (Asperger's) was able to be mainstreamed thoughout elementary school. We were excited this year when the school opened a middle school program since it meant they could stay at the same school for 3 more years. Well, the middle school program turned out to be a disaster for our son. We had a long battle with the special ed department and finally, with the help of an attorney, got him transferred to a private school with an Asperger's program. The new school is about 25-30 minutes away but he gets bus service to and from everyday. My DH was so upset about the way the old school handled things that he wanted to pull our 3rd grader out and put him at another district school. I told him to hold on a minute. Our 3rd grader is the most adaptable and agreeable kid you could ever meet. He's also been thriving in the school. We decided to keep him right where he was and put the problems with our middle schooler aside.

Now we have the kids in two different schools and it can be tough but it's doable. Our older son's school doesn't have as many evening events since it's a fairly small program. I thought it was going to be hard having him take the bus and not seeing his teachers very often. But we communicate fine by phone, e-mail and notes in his backpack. I drop the little guy off and pick him up everyday since my work schedule allows it. I also do some volunteer work in his classroom. I work in the same district as the little guy so I get all the same holidays and teacher work days, etc. My older son had a totally different spring break week but, luckily, my parents were able to take him for a few days.

I think it's important to place kids where they would do best. The schedules can be a bit challenging, but it can be done. My husband and I are always ready to do what we call "divide and conquer." If the kids have events at the same time, he takes one and I take one. Next time we swap. We can only do our best!

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

It will be a hassle, but I don't think it will be as much of a hassle as you think. Many parents have kids in multiple schools due to age differences. Since the schools are in the same district, everything like parent teacher conferences are on the same nights.

I would recommend the after school for your older son. At our school, the after school program is great. They have a time to help the kids with homework and students from the education program at my university volunteer. Hopefully your school's program is like that, and it will give him time to socialize. Also, if you don't want to have to pick up your other son everyday and instead allow him to ride the bus home. a communication notebook is a great idea! I'm earning my master's in Special Ed. and sub for special ed classrooms in the district on a frequent basis. I have seen many families that do this, and it is great because it gives the families a chance to communicate with the school. You can always rop by from time to time if you want to talk to them in person.

Even if you do go in person, a communication log can be great because it will allow the teacher to write down things as s/he thinks of them.

 

[BeckyScott]

Really it's just next year that I'm concerned with. After that, oldest DS will go to middle school. The middle school and high school have different hours than the elementary.

I will have to look at the bus situation later. The SpEd coordinator didn't have any specifics yet, as it is up to the bus company to decide how they will handle it. We are only about a half block from the "line" that would have them going to the other school anyway, and I am pretty sure a regular school bus goes down that street. So that's the most obvious logical way to do it, although we all know that school systems do not always go with the most obvious logical way.

The other options were that we would transport him to the "home" school and a bus would pick him up there and take him to the new school, and then return him to the "home" school-- which would be really easy for me but probably confusing for him-- which I think is what they do if there is more than one kid being transferred. Or they might use a "short bus" and p/u d/o at our house. We probably won't know anything for sure until like 2 days before school starts.

He did ride the bus for preschool, but it wasn't any normal bus. It was a full-size bus but they only picked up about 6 kids. There was a driver and aide, the kids had assigned seating, the driver had decorated the bus, they sang songs, those ladies were great. And Justin thought he owned that bus, it was his bus. I don't think a regular elementary bus is quite the same.