Kid "leashes"

[jbuey22]

Waiting until children are older might work for some, especially if they are closer together. I first brought my children to Disney in 2010. My son was 10 months. But my daughter was already 7. My husband had died 8 months prior and regular vacations (small and large) are one of my "We can do this...we'll still be a family...this is not going to crush us" efforts. On a vacation the following year he'd become a runner and I used a harness. My daughter was never a runner, but they are totally different children in most ways.

I am far from a lazy parent. He was far from humiliated considering he has no clue what that means. If he did he wouldn't come running out of the bathroom naked. He was not yet at the point where he realized running off wasn't funny. He never did it to be difficult. He honestly thought it was fun. We vacationed here last summer and I forgot it a couple of days and had to chase him 3 times, but didn't lose him. He had my phone number on him. He's a recovering runner now at nearly 3.5. He realizes he shouldn't do it, but still has his moments.

We are here now without it because he mostly stays put and jumps around or plays a game while we are in line. We are here this week largely because when I mentioned summer vacation, my 3 year-old son talked about how beautiful it was there and how he could not wait to go back. He remembered last year's trip long enough to help convince me to do another. I love it here as does my daughter. He's the one that goes through the most changes on these trips, so it was significant for him to tell me he wanted to return, especially since this was the first year I had to pay for him. We are all having a blast.

I have seen quite a few harnesses this week. As far as I'm concerned, safety first however you have to do it.

It is obvious you are not a lazy parent. And as I already had said I am often wrong. In your position it makes perfect sense to use a harness being a single parent. That is a no brainer!! That is great that you can even find the time, enegy and money to pull it off. God Bless!

 

[jbuey22]

Wow. It seems like you have a lot of really big feelings going on that may not have anything to do with leashes/harnesses/backpacks with tails. I'm sorry. It happens to me, too. It sucks when they well up unexpectedly like that.

Back to the issue at hand: I think it's really the words 'humiliating' and 'lazy' (and the follow-up 'degrading') are the real issues. I totally agree that people should have room to respectfully disagree and present opposing views, but to use such hot button words about someone's well considered parenting choices is no different than calling them those things. Not respectful. Not polite. Well beyond simple disagreement.

What kind of fall out would you expect if you said these very things to a friend who was standing in front of you? Would you call her out as lazy? Inform her in front of her backpack wearing child that he was being humiliated? Aside from using paragraphs, another good rule if thumb is to not write anything in a forum that you wouldn't say to someone's face.

I really do get it. I wasn't onboard with the leash idea for a good long time. It's just that the delivery rubbed people the wrong way. You have a unique voice and perspective that I hope to hear again.

Well I did say that "I" would be humiliated or later I said that "I" would be ashamed of Myself. Thats just the way I feel. "I" think it is degrading to a child.
Now if you some other people do not feel that way then they are different than me. I guess I am more old school.
Just like when I said I feel sorry for mothers who have to carry an infant around. Then the reply was "Why only the mother"
I guess I am just old fashioned and think a certain way. Call me a chauvinist next. I probably am. It is the way I was raised. I dont perticularly find it wrong either.

 

[dansamy]

My youngest has been on a leash. Not a harness. A leash. He's ADHD & hearing impaired. It was for his safety. He was not a toddler the last time we needed a leash.

 

[Egdisney]

I was just thinking about this the other day while trying to walk holding my 15 mo old DS's hand in the mall. We'll be at Disney when he's 18 months. He didn't want to ride in his stroller and wanted to walk. I had always thought leashes were terrible things - of course the majority of people I've seen with their kids harnessed were people who were ignoring their kids with the leash that tripped people 20 feet away. Only rarely have I seen people using the harness to keep a closer watch on their kids. But after my experience the other day, I was terrified of being in a big crowd with him and losing my death grip on his hand.

So I've started thinking of a harness or something that I could still hold his hand or at least teach him to hold the harness like the handle grip others use, but still have something attached to him to keep us from being separated if we're jossled. I guess, literally going back to the old phrase "leading him around by the apron strings." which is what mothers did many years ago. They'd tie their children to their apron until they were old enough to go on their own.

So what I'm getting at is, it looks like you have to be in the situation to really understand it. Like so many things in life.

Perhaps you have only noticed those who are tripping others. I have only seen(or noticed) people who use them responsibly. If they are held closely you wouldn't notice them unless you were looking right at them.

 

[Egdisney]

Waiting until children are older might work for some, especially if they are closer together. I first brought my children to Disney in 2010. My son was 10 months. But my daughter was already 7. My husband had died 8 months prior and regular vacations (small and large) are one of my "We can do this...we'll still be a family...this is not going to crush us" efforts. On a vacation the following year he'd become a runner and I used a harness. My daughter was never a runner, but they are totally different children in most ways.

I am far from a lazy parent. He was far from humiliated considering he has no clue what that means. If he did he wouldn't come running out of the bathroom naked. He was not yet at the point where he realized running off wasn't funny. He never did it to be difficult. He honestly thought it was fun. We vacationed here last summer and I forgot it a couple of days and had to chase him 3 times, but didn't lose him. He had my phone number on him. He's a recovering runner now at nearly 3.5. He realizes he shouldn't do it, but still has his moments.

We are here now without it because he mostly stays put and jumps around or plays a game while we are in line. We are here this week largely because when I mentioned summer vacation, my 3 year-old son talked about how beautiful it was there and how he could not wait to go back. He remembered last year's trip long enough to help convince me to do another. I love it here as does my daughter. He's the one that goes through the most changes on these trips, so it was significant for him to tell me he wanted to return, especially since this was the first year I had to pay for him. We are all having a blast.

I have seen quite a few harnesses this week. As far as I'm concerned, safety first however you have to do it.

I am so sorry about your husband. I am taking an infant and a 2 year old to Disney. But my older 2 are 6 and 9. I felt this was the last year I could take my oldest daughter and she will truly feel the magic still. I see her thinking more things are "stupid" every day. I cannot wait to see the magic through the little ones eyes. I have never been before, I am sure I will be more excited than they are!
As I said, I have never been before and it is important to me that we go. We have never been on a large vacation as a whole family. It is going to be amazing for me, and for my husband, who has also waited to be at Disney his whole life. I have had too many friends that have gotten sick and passed away too young to wait until all of my kids are old enough to fully remember a vacation. Tomorrow could be too late, and I will not wait for it!
I have used a harness at some point for all three of my older children. They feel so big and proud when they get to walk around without holding mommy's hand!

 

[rachael95]

Perhaps you have only noticed those who are tripping others. I have only seen(or noticed) people who use them responsibly. If they are held closely you wouldn't notice them unless you were looking right at them.

I'm sure you're right. Just like most things, we notice the bad more than the good because it makes a bigger impression.

 

[Dani784]

Well I did say that "I" would be humiliated or later I said that "I" would be ashamed of Myself. Thats just the way I feel. "I" think it is degrading to a child.
Now if you some other people do not feel that way then they are different than me. I guess I am more old school.
Just like when I said I feel sorry for mothers who have to carry an infant around. Then the reply was "Why only the mother"
I guess I am just old fashioned and think a certain way. Call me a chauvinist next. I probably am. It is the way I was raised. I dont perticularly find it wrong either.

You keep saying you're "old fashioned" and that's your excuse for not using the "leashes" but apparently you don't realize that a leash of some sort IS old fashioned! Mothers used to have WAY more children back then and they walked most places so tying a rope around the little one's waist and having the others hold on was really common!

Don't believe me? Ask my grandmother or watch the movie "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?" You are more than welcome to your own opinions but please be factual about why you feel the way you do. Putting others down because they believe different than you is what is upsetting. Also, please stop saying a two year old can't remember going. As I said before, I remember clearly falling down the stairs when I was 18 months old. I also remember clearly going to WDW right after my fourth birthday. So please don't assume your way is the only way.

 

[Liberty Belle]

People who have never needed one will judge. And that's fine. Once they walk past, you'll still have a safe toddler and they'll go on and find a reason to judge the next person they see.

The people who have been there will smile.

Do what's necessary to keep your family safe.

Perfect! Couldn't say it any better.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I personally HATE those things and refuse to use one for any reason, but don't have a problem with others doing so until it becomes a problem for me. My problem is those who choose to use them as a substitute for actually watching thie child nad then me DH, or DD end up tripped up/ tangled in a leash. It is more of an issue with the longer ones, paricularly those that attach to the wrist, which also pose the risk of nursemaid's elbow when not used properly. I have seen it happen when a child snaps to the end of the lead. So i would say use one if it makes you feel better, but don't let it make you complacent and don't let the kid wander at the end of the lead and become a trip hazard for others.

Wow. You've all tripped over leashes? Weird. I've never in my life tripped over a leash attached to an animal or a child.

You must go a lot more places than we do.

 

[Liberty Belle]

The benefit to taking a young child on any vacation is the enjoyment you get making memories together as a family. Maybe the child won't remember that they had a big smile for Mickey Mouse, but you will. Maybe the child won't remember how they played in the pop jets in Epcot and had a grand time, but you will.

If someone doesn't want to vacation with their children until they are older, I think they are missing out on A LOT. Makes me feel kind of sad for them.

Me, too. My MIL tried to get us to not take our youngest when he was 11 months and again when he was 2, because he wouldn't remember it. I completely do not understand that thinking. First, we had an older child who most definitely would remember it and second, who cares if he remembers it?! Like you said, WE remember, and HE enjoys it as it's happening. I guess we should never do anything fun with our children until they're 4 or so because they won't remember it anyway.

 

[Cbowman]

We used one of those when our daughter was around 18 months. She wasn't a runner, just not very stable on her feet in large crowds. When I used it at the airport I got lots of ugly comments. Such as, "she can't control her child." At Disneyland, we got the opposite. We got, "isn't she cute!" So, I wouldn't worry about what people think or say. Plus, you'll always know where your child is.

 

[Liberty Belle]

i wasnt bashing just disagreeing. I dont care what other people would think, I would be humiliated myself if I had to do that to my child. BUT you are correct you must keep you kids safe. And yes it doesnt work for everybody to wait until their youngest was 5. It did for me. SO i am happy about that. And I didnt have to tell you about losing my kid twice, but I did because even though disagree, I wanted to let you know that I am not always right, and I admited my neglegence and the scare that I went through. I just really hate those things and I feel that they are below us as human beings. I would be ashamed of myself to do that to my kid. But that is just my opinion. Sorry to disagree on a family thread. Please do what you have to everybody to keep your kid safe. AND by the way, when going through the family discussion boards and you see a topic that says "Kid Leashes" you only read that thread if you have experience with this or if you really are against them. I just happen to be against them and everybody else who has opened this thread has had an experience where they needed them. So i am so sorry to offend you all with my opinions. These days alot of people use them, but ask your parents and grand parents and I bet alot of them would agree with me that it is a shame to tie your kid down like that. I guess I am a bit out dated with my ideas. oh and again i love running on these paragraphs. hahaha to all of you who had to struggle to read this. maybe I should edit myself and clean up my words.....NOT!

Good grief, I think you need to take a deep breath and walk away. You used judgmental words (humiliating, lazy, etc) and then when people calmly respond, you get all bent out of shape?!

 

[bella2117]

Good grief, I think you need to take a deep breath and walk away. You used judgmental words (humiliating, lazy, etc) and then when people calmly respond, you get all bent out of shape?!

My thoughts exactly. Walk away. This thread became something it didn't have to. smh

 

[jbuey22]

My thoughts exactly. Walk away. This thread became something it didn't have to. smh

You know people it all depends. If the OP is really debating on weather or not to use a kid leash or if they just wanted other people to agree with them and say everything is OK. If the OP really wanted to make an educated decision then I think it helps to hear from somebody like me who is against them. And you have to be honest, it a bit fun to get a thread going for 7 pages. I have started threads before only to have them end at a couple few posts. So you could thank me for that at least.

Without the negative counterpoint, I dont think this thread would have gone 7 pages deep. I am sure there are more people who see my point of view but are afraid to post it because I made such a jerk of myself. I am ok with it.

And to respond to the poster who said that leases have been around since the olden George Clooney flop days. Well you may be right!! But I said my THINKING was old fashioned. I never gave the stupid leashes a consideration of when they were fist invented. But to use a movie that is meant to be a comedy, that I am sure they did all kind of research on leashes before they added that to the script(<---sarcasm), well that is idiotic. Because we know how factual that movie is with the guy who signs is soul over to the devil and the baby face nelson incident. Im sure that ALL Really happened right!! Geez The movie is based on a Fable.

So weather or not leashes have been around since the stones age, I dont care. I disagree with them, I have never had a bad experience with them. I do think they will keep your kid safe! It does make sense for some parents to use them. Some parents that use them are just as neglectful as parents who are against them. And your welcome for giving people the bad guy that gets teamed up on, but kept this thread going for 7 pages.

I hope my paragraphs are better. Everytime I try to use paragraphs they do not come out right. I think it is because the box that I am typing in is much smaller than when it copies out on the thread and they become jumbled. That is why I never used paragraphs, because past experience has been ugly. But Im trying!

 

[Dani784]

You know people it all depends. If the OP is really debating on weather or not to use a kid leash or if they just wanted other people to agree with them and say everything is OK. If the OP really wanted to make an educated decision then I think it helps to hear from somebody like me who is against them. And you have to be honest, it a bit fun to get a thread going for 7 pages. I have started threads before only to have them end at a couple few posts. So you could thank me for that at least.

Without the negative counterpoint, I dont think this thread would have gone 7 pages deep. I am sure there are more people who see my point of view but are afraid to post it because I made such a jerk of myself. I am ok with it.

And to respond to the poster who said that leases have been around since the olden George Clooney flop days. Well you may be right!! But I said my THINKING was old fashioned. I never gave the stupid leashes a consideration of when they were fist invented. But to use a movie that is meant to be a comedy, that I am sure they did all kind of research on leashes before they added that to the script(<---sarcasm), well that is idiotic. Because we know how factual that movie is with the guy who signs is soul over to the devil and the baby face nelson incident. Im sure that ALL Really happened right!! Geez The movie is based on a Fable.

So weather or not leashes have been around since the stones age, I dont care. I disagree with them, I have never had a bad experience with them. I do think they will keep your kid safe! It does make sense for some parents to use them. Some parents that use them are just as neglectful as parents who are against them. And your welcome for giving people the bad guy that gets teamed up on, but kept this thread going for 7 pages.

I hope my paragraphs are better. Everytime I try to use paragraphs they do not come out right. I think it is because the box that I am typing in is much smaller than when it copies out on the thread and they become jumbled. That is why I never used paragraphs, because past experience has been ugly. But Im trying!

So basically you're saying you did all this just to get attention. Got it. You're a troll. We'll stop feeding you now. Have a nice day.

 

[samacita]

So basically you're saying you did all this just to get attention. Got it. You're a troll. We'll stop feeding you now. Have a nice day.

Yeah, it's probably time to close this thread. All this negativity just for kicks?! Classy.

 

[jbuey22]

So basically you're saying you did all this just to get attention. Got it. You're a troll. We'll stop feeding you now. Have a nice day.

how in the heck did you get that? geez now we are calling names.

You know yes I disagree with the leashes but I never singled anybody out and called them any names. Infact I thing the slamming that was on me was way worse than any of my disagreement statements. But I am sure you will find something with this too. Whatever. I just said it is fun to have a point counterpoint argument. Thats why people read these blogs and thats why they stay alive for 7 pages. Take that however you want to. Why dont you do some research before you call me a troll. You can do a search of all of the Threads that I have posted in or threads that I have started. Read a few and see that I do not go around bashing threads for fun.

As a different poster has stated I have strong feelings on this subject. That is why I started reading it to begin with. If you cant handle A little criticism or different opinions without name calling then I think that there is more than one bad egg in this bunch.

I have even bashed myself several times, and I may have used words like humiliating, or degrading, but I was telling the readers how I would feel if I had to use a leash on my child. I dont think I ever called any one poster Lazy for using one. I know I used the word lazy, but I retracted that and even went as far as saying that the single parent mother,(who by the way is very brave) is definetly not lazy.

So wrapping up I want to apologize if I offended anybody. I am sorry I find in fun also having a heated debate. But I do, I enjoy talking with everybody and I respect everybody. Even if I disagree with using the leashes I do agree that they will keep your children safe. Absolutely if it fits your needs to use one or two then go ahead, and dont worry about what other people think. But you must otherwise you would have not started this thread. So why would you fight a person who disagrees if you want to hear what people think. Bella the OP I apologize to you specifically for ruining your thread, but I dont understand why you would not want to hear all points of view. I will admit that I probably scared away a few people that may have also disagreed and that is why I probably ruined your thread.

But I am not a troll nor to I do this for Jollies. Just research if you dont believe me. I am 100% a Disney fan and family person who loves nothing more than riding corny rides and singing corny songs all day long and my college student children are the same.

Be well!!

 

[jbuey22]

Btw here is a thread that is quite relevant on this subject. It involves taking younger children to Disney and what they get out of it. Pretty interesting to read the opinions on this thread.

This thread was in the Family section as well and there are a few posts that are pretty rude and much much more troll like than anything I have posted.

I havent replied at all but enjoy it seems to be a hot topic!!

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=3118664

 

[mousefan73]

I don't have an issue with these things. I can see in crowded situations where they may be necessary.

Where I have a problem is HOW some parents use them. I witnessed once a mom being so horrible with these it's no wonder these kids were trying to run!!!!

Let me explain,

I believe it was AK. They have a penquin or some water tank area where you go,down a few steps and view underwater. It was just my family and a mom with 2 kids with those furry back-pack leases with the tail. Cute I thought as I have never seen them in this form. This mom was constantly yelling at these kids ( maybe 3ish). Stop doing this, that etc. IMO they weren't doing anything. One kid would try and climb up on a rock wall. Nothing dangerous, a better view. One of those rocks you can sit lean on. 2 feet high?? There was no where to fall. This mom YANKS with lease, not pulls this kid down. Starts screaming and scolding like this kid it was some bad dog doing something. Next kid tries to walk over to a different window, YANK again, scolding, other kid would wander a few feet over there, YANK again. She was yanking so hard the kids were falling back with force. Imagine a dog trying to get away.

Keep in mind we just were two families in an enclosed space. These kids were not bolting, but just looking around like everyone else in this underwater viewing area

My kids were so scared of this lady. I almost said something, should have. This is what I would have said

" those are children, stop,treating them and yelling at them like untrained, wild dogs. Which by the way they are not even close to acting like"

 

[jbuey22]

I don't have an issue with these things. I can see in crowded situations where they may be necessary.

Where I have a problem is HOW some parents use them. I witnessed once a mom being so horrible with these it's no wonder these kids were trying to run!!!!

Let me explain,

I believe it was AK. They have a penquin or some water tank area where you go,down a few steps and view underwater. It was just my family and a mom with 2 kids with those furry back-pack leases with the tail. Cute I thought as I have never seen them in this form. This mom was constantly yelling at these kids ( maybe 3ish). Stop doing this, that etc. IMO they weren't doing anything. One kid would try and climb up on a rock wall. Nothing dangerous, a better view. One of those rocks you can sit lean on. 2 feet high?? There was no where to fall. This mom YANKS with lease, not pulls this kid down. Starts screaming and scolding like this kid it was some bad dog doing something. Next kid tries to walk over to a different window, YANK again, scolding, other kid would wander a few feet over there, YANK again. She was yanking so hard the kids were falling back with force. Imagine a dog trying to get away.

Keep in mind we just were two families in an enclosed space. These kids were not bolting, but just looking around like everyone else in this underwater viewing area

My kids were so scared of this lady. I almost said something, should have. This is what I would have said

" those are children, stop,treating them and yelling at them like untrained, wild dogs. Which by the way they are not even close to acting like"

Wow I have seen parents like that. It is embarrassing. I have a hard time keeping my thoughts to myself when I witness something like that. My wife actually squeezes my holding hand a little tighter as to tell me to settle down. But she is right I have no business interfering, but if it is affecting your joy and fun it is best to leave the area instead of confrontation.