Keeping kids from whining in the parks

[jjarman]

I have two very dear nephews. They are 2 and 4 now but their mother and I are planning to take them to WDW in a few years when they are about 7 and 5. I don't know really how they will be then but I know how they are now. The older one is a drama king. When I am around though I can usually say something like dry it up right now or I am leaving or if you whine any more I am going home. It works usually. I want to avoid the whining in the parks or any other behavior which will take away from the fun and I was thinking of some incentives for them. I thought I might buy them each 5-10 disney dollars per day which I will put in a special wallet for each child. Then whenever they whine or throw a fit or act ugly, a dollar is taken away. I may even add that if they do something extra nice or even if I just catch them being good (that worked wonders with my son) I will give a dollar back.

Any other ideas?

 

[Mecha Figment]

kids are going to whine, its who they are, but bribing them may set you up for disaster in the future. I mean several years down the line.

The only fail safe way to keep kids from whining in the parks is to not bring them at all unfortunatly. Because they are going to get hot, they are going to get tired. It's a big place and if they are not use to it they are going to complain. Wouldn't you?

 

[ssleblanc]

I kind of have to agree with Mecha Figment "kids are going to whine".

I have been doing the bribe thing in a way. Actually, not so much as a bribe, but reward for good behavior. I don't bribe the "no whining" thing. My kids are saving quarters in their bank for our trip for spending money. When they do their "chores" without being asked - such as make their bed, get up & dressed in the morning without problems, pick up their room, etc - WITHOUT being told or reminded, they are rewarded with quarters. I really think of it more as an allowance and being paid for doing their chores well (but I feel mine are a bit young for an "allowance" so I haven't started calling it that ... don't ask why the name makes a difference).

If they whine or throw a fit over anything, quarters are taken away - and they are HEARTBROKEN when that happens (especially my drama king - yes, I have one too). I actually give them one chance if I hear a snippet of what could become a whine, or a hesitation when I ask them to do something. I reminded them quickly before it escalates "Quarter" (all I need to say - and they know I mean I will take one away) and it stops the behavior.

Their bank is clear so they can see the change building up.

As for whining in the parks. I've decided that if I get too commando with schedules and touring plans, that I am inviting additional whining. They WILL get hot (even in September) and tired, and they may see Mickey and want to stop and see him instead of running to the next ride on my "plan". Enforcing the plan and not allowing them to stop & smell the roses (or shake the characters hands in this case) will increase the chances for a meltdown. This trip is for THEM to experience the magic.

I've planned and planned (and have touring plans in place for the entire trip). But I'm not going to let them run our vacation. I've got 4 ADR's to make and we have to keep those on schedule. I have to work at a conference at CSR 2 days, and MY schedule will have to work around that. But other than that, if I had planned to rush to get FP's to Splash or Space Mountain and they see a cart with Mickey ears ice cream and want it, we will stop and have the Mickey ears ice cream. I really think being flexible about what THEY want to do on THEIR vacation and their first experience with Disney Magic is going to be the key for me to eliminate the inevitable whining that will occur as they get tired (that - and an afternoon nap for everyone ). I will also be more flexible on rules while we are there - especially on the junk food stuff that I normally get pretty strict about. It is VACATION and if they eat 3 "too many" ice creams over the 5 days we have, it won't kill them.

 

[Josiah]

We took our 7 year old grandson to WDW in 04, and here are some 'no whining' tips:

1. Begin instruction now in everyday things. Children often whine because they are rewarded for it (by getting what they were whining about.) If you are around these boys often, you can begin now by instructing them about the way you want them to speak and giving what I call "practice". (Say, "Try it again, but use nicer words", for example). Sometimes children whine because busy caretakers do not hear them when they speak nicely. Begin now by rewarding proper speaking techniques. Tell the boys when they are using a language and a tone that you find acceptable. Remind them often how much you like to hear that.

2. The boys must know that if they whine, they definitely WILL NOT get what they are requesting. This is the only way I know of to stop whining.

3. We gave our 7 yr old a daily cash allowance in WDW. We told him he could use it for food treats, for gifts or other merchandise, or he could choose to save it from one day to the next. This negated the whining before it ever started! If he wanted something, we told him he could use his money for it if he wished. This gave him a great feeling of empowerment, and he actually made very thoughtful purchases. It turned out to be a great learning opportunity. Each day he had money left over, and could add it to the next day's cash allowance. At the end of the trip, after buying gifts and treats, he had enough left over to buy a video game back home. (His allowance was $10 per day.) Now, bear in mind, the $10 wasn't a reward, and he didn't earn it, it was a free gift from us to him.

4. If your children are too young to be responsible with a small allowance, you may want to go with the dollar system you have in mind. Decide on simple rules for getting or losing the money, and STICK to them. Question, though: What happens if the child has more whining in a day than they have money?

I wouldn't worry that you'll wreck them for life if you reward them with dollars in WDW. Children do understand that it is a special event. However, many parents reward children of this age with a sticker system or some other incentive for good behavior.

Are the parents of these boys able or willing to help you work on this?

 

[Amy&Dan]

Well by the time they are 7 and 5 you will hopefully notice a downward turn with whining. However, all kids whine some, especially in the over stimulated, constantly on the go environment of WDW. Bottom line, only your sister can really dole out the discipline effectively with whining so its really her call as the parent. I think your idea of letting them have money in a special wallet to spend is a good one, in that it will promote them to behave and be resonsible to earn more money towards the trip beforehand. But my experience has been that once you start doling out harsh punishments for whining while its occuring, it just gets worse. Only consistent discipline by the primary caregiver on a daily basis will make a big difference with that and any other behavior in the longrun.

 

[Fitswimmer]

The boys must know that if they whine, they definitely WILL NOT get what they are requesting. This is the only way I know of to stop whining

That worked on my godchild. Since she has a single daddy, I had her nearly every day and on quite a few weekends when he needed to work. Once when she was about 2, we went to the local mall and she started whining about some thing or other. When I said no, she threw a major hissy fit. I picked her up, carried her out of the mall, her kicking and crying the whole way. Put her in the car seat and headed home. It was a LONG time before we went back to a store again, but when we did-no whining. We went to WDW for the first time when she was 5 and no whining. I had told her that if she did whine, we would go back to the hotel and she would sit in the room. Because of the mall experience, she knew I meant it.

I was there with her again a couple of years ago and we were laughing about a family ahead of us at Buzz. The kids were being SO bad, whining and crying and Dad kept saying we're going back to the room and of course they never went. She took one look at me and said "we'd have been back in the room!"

 

[BABYJOSIE98]

If you can go in the off season it may help???
I just got back from a trip June 2 with my DD (8) and Nephew(10)...It was Hot and a bit crowded....I found Fast Pass helps so much!! If we waited in line they would get whinny and fighting!! ugh!

Also if they got tired we took breaks and rested.

You won't avoid the whining or fighting from time to time..You just can't let it bother you or ruin your trip.

The good times on our trip far out weighed the melt down moments......

We had a blast and nephew is begging me too take him back......

One thing nice about taking one kid....You don't have much problem with that sort of thing. Put 2 together and they feed off each other.

Also by the end of the week at Epcot I got DD a stroller. She is tiny 8 year old (42 pounds) and she was just pooped...So that really helped to keep her happy the rest of the day!! Plus I had a place to put all our stuff.

 

[cyndibelle]

if anyone finds a sure proof way to shut the kids up let me know....i say bring lots of duct tape..ha ha ha ..just kidding..my kids are huge winers..spoiled brats i must say...

 

[jlatina32]

I expect for my DS5 to whine everywhere I go. Luckily, he has brought the whining down a few notches so it is not so bad. But I can sympathize. I have seen some kids that will put on "A SHOW" when they get tired, hungry, or don't get what they want. I feel bad for those parents.

Set limits before you go anywhere so there aren't any big surprises when you tell them no...I can't... or you have to wait.......etc. And in most cases it works. Try your best to keep them comfortable, fed, busy, and have something to drink.

 

[bleeps]

I was there with her again a couple of years ago and we were laughing about a family ahead of us at Buzz. The kids were being SO bad, whining and crying and Dad kept saying we're going back to the room and of course they never went. She took one look at me and said "we'd have been back in the room!"

I couldn't agree more! I have always followed through on the consequences I quote to my son (now 8) -- he has known first-hand for years that if I say "stop it now or we're going home" I MEAN we're going home (or whatever), and I haven't had to follow through on a consequence in years (although, again, he certainly knows that I will if he doesn't behave). I really don't have to do more than raise an eyebrow at this point and he pulls himself together.

I also have never responded to whining. When DS has tried whining (and I do agree that kids AND adults get tired and whiny for all kinds of legitimate reasons) I say, "I cannot listen to that voice. Please take a moment to get calm, and speak to me in a normal voice, and I will do everything I can to help you." I say this in a very kind, caring voice -- and then I don't say anything else until he calms down and speaks reasonably.

He, too, earns his WDW spending money ahead of time (we give him a savings goal and set an incentive match -- say, save xx amount of money by this date and we'll add xx to it) -- and he can make his own choices but once his money is gone, it's gone. I will buy him clothing items if he falls in love with a t-shirt or something, but he's really good about being careful and making his choices well.

Finally, like others, I am quick to praise and reward good behavior. The big payoff? Last Friday it took us 20 hours to fly from Boston to Chicago because of cancelled flights, etc., and my DS handled it with out a single problem -- he was a trooper. If you expect the best from kids, acknowledge and reward the good, and take a firm line on the unacceptable, you have the gift of delightful children you can take anywhere and always have fun.

 

[seashoreCM]

>>> I'm not going to let them run my vacation

But do not expect them to run after you let alone make them run after you and get all hot and sweaty and tired.

Feel free to cut through stores and other air conditioned areas.

Disney hints:
http://members.aol.com/ajaynejr/disney.htm

 

[hidmickey:myantidrug]

Put them on a kiddy leash! Ha, just kidding. But seriously, kids will be kids and hopefully after years go by and being in Disney, they will mature to the point where it isn't all drama. If that doesn't happen by the time you go, I would start taking rides away, etc. Take advantage of the parent switchero thing that they have. Tell the kids, "hey, if you don't behave you won't be allowed to go on the (fill in ride here). Your mom, brother, etc. will just go on without you."

 

[jjarman]

Thanks for all the posts and suggestions. DSIL and DB are pretty good about the discipline thing I must say but the two nephews know they cannot push my buttons. When they are at my house they are so much better behaved. Thankfully when we go it will be during the cooler months so the heat won’t be an issue. And I have promised DSIL I won’t go commando on her (she laughed hysterically at this) but I promise.

 

[badblackpug]

I give each child his own backpack (purchased @ Disney store on clearance) that I fill with snacks (some healthy, some junk) and juice boxes and little toys (dollar store items) and, of course, the "Gameboy" (this is great for long lines!) Expect some whining, particularly in crowded and/or hot seasons, but place a "zero tolerance policy" on truly bad behavior. I promise one trip back to the room for a nap after a tantrum, and it will not occur again. I did 7 days with ADHD/behavioral problems child, and one afternoon in the room "cured" his acting out!

 

[scoolover]

How about a good solid whack!

 

[KarlaG4Kids]

We are taking our 2 oldest grandsons to WDW in September. We took the oldest one 2 years ago when he was nearly 4, now it is his younger cousins turn to go along (he is nearly 4). I am pretty concerned the younger one will pull the whinning stuff a lot. He is very used to dh & I, we are together a LOT. But he tends to whine for mommy when he is tired, upset, can't get his way, hungry, you name it. He knows he can't get away with it when he is with us, but I'm sure we will be having moments of it at WDW. Please, send pixie dust my way...I think we will need lots of patience . We would wait a couple more years to go, but we took the older grandson when he was almost 4 and now it is kind of expected (and we can't play favorites!) I will be using the disney dollars idea...it might help out. Thanks for the suggestions!

 

[DisneyChristmas]

Take those afternoon breaks! Anything away from the crowds is refreshing for kids and adults. DH and I refer to 3:30-4:30pm (especially at the MK) as the Insanity Hour. The parade is over, it’s hot, it’s crowded, lines are enormous. We’ve seen kids throw themselves on the pavement screaming “you never let me have any fun” (hello? You’re at WDW??) or any number of other hot-overly excited-too tired expletives.

Forget about good nutrition. Of course, don’t let them eat themselves sick. Many times at WDW the words “you can’t have ice cream (popcorn, soda, etc) now when you didn’t even eat your lunch” precede a kid’s total melt down (especially during the Insanity Hour). Kids know that vacation is different from home. Bending a few food rules at WDW won’t cause a lifetime of junk eating.

PS Another idea that I saw posted here some time ago is to buy some small Disney-themed or other kid-favorite items before the trip. Keep them with you, and give the kids little surprises at unexpected times in long lines, etc. What happens when you run out of surprises? The person who posted didn't get that far...

 

[JKMJ441724]

I have two very dear nephews. They are 2 and 4 now but their mother and I are planning to take them to WDW in a few years when they are about 7 and 5. I don't know really how they will be then but I know how they are now. The older one is a drama king. When I am around though I can usually say something like dry it up right now or I am leaving or if you whine any more I am going home. It works usually. I want to avoid the whining in the parks or any other behavior which will take away from the fun and I was thinking of some incentives for them. I thought I might buy them each 5-10 disney dollars per day which I will put in a special wallet for each child. Then whenever they whine or throw a fit or act ugly, a dollar is taken away. I may even add that if they do something extra nice or even if I just catch them being good (that worked wonders with my son) I will give a dollar back.

Any other ideas?

I took my DD4 and DS1 1/2 last year. We went for one day to MK before we went on DCL to Mexico. For that one day, they were perfect. There were in absolute awe of the place. If you are going for any length of time, just make sure they get to rest. The "magic" factor will help a lot, too.

 

[jjarman]

How about a good solid whack!

This does get their attention. My last vacation with the two nephews was at the beach. Apparently the two year old is deaf and only understands a pop on the leg. Now I didn't hand these out for no reason. It was mostly when he would not get out from under our feet when we were cooking. If you popped him he would look at you with tears in his big hazel eyes and say you hurt me. So pitiful. Didn't work with me. I would just say yeah and if you don't get out of the kitchen I am going to hurt you again.

 

[DianaPrincessofWales]

Just my 2c worth here:

Keep the kids fed and watered and hopefully that will also keep them happy!

How about packing a few chewing candy and lollipops? Maybe they won't be able to chew and whine at the same time?

I'm planning to use these tips for my mother/daughter trip in Oct. She's 13!! Teens can whine too!