Keeping it "fun"

[motocrossmom]

How do you convince your dh to keep going back? My husband says its not fun anymore... my younger son who is 6 is begging to go back, he hasnt been since he was 5 (he turns 7 in December). I am trying to plan a trip for Jan 2009.. any help with dh would be great!

 

[Praying Colonel]

I was your DH. For years the "pragmatic" side of me wouldn't permit myself to see WDW as fun. Finally, I agreed to "take one for the team" and go to WDW--now DW has to shut me up about it. I just enjoy being a kid again, if only for a few days.

Maybe you can appeal to that side of him. Maybe include him in the planning--ask what would make it a fun trip for him. Maybe look at some of the activities like the Segway Tour, parasailing, etc. If you can get him to claim some ownership in the planning, it will help move things along.

 

[motocrossmom]

I was your DH. For years the "pragmatic" side of me wouldn't permit myself to see WDW as fun. Finally, I agreed to "take one for the team" and go to WDW--now DW has to shut me up about it. I just enjoy being a kid again, if only for a few days.

Maybe you can appeal to that side of him. Maybe include him in the planning--ask what would make it a fun trip for him. Maybe look at some of the activities like the Segway Tour, parasailing, etc. If you can get him to claim some ownership in the planning, it will help move things along.

Great idea! thanks!

 

[stky6]

You could always break out the Minnie Mouse lingere that can ONLY be worn while at WDW

 

[Tiffany_MommyOf3]

My DH got tired of Disney (esp after living 10 minutes from the World). He HATED to go (although is excited about our trip in less than 2 weeks). To get him to go, I just told him we were going (it sounds bad but its not.. its for the kids LOL) I also told him it wont be one of those trips where we feel like we must get everything done in just the few days we are there.. we are going to do the HoopDeeDoo and then 4 character dinings. The only rides we MUST ride are Test Track and Haunted Mansion.. the rest is going to be about relaxing and characters LOL.

Maybe he is worried about the whole chaotic thing at Disney (that was my hubbys issue) and if you promise to make it an easy time,then he wont be as worried?

 

[Eljay]

If you want to spring for some big-ticket bribery, promise him a fishing excursion, http://allears.net/btp/fish.htm
Or, DiveQuest http://www.allearsnet.com/btp/tour_div.htm
How about a tour? http://www.wdwinfo.com/wdwinfo/tours.htm
What the heck, ya gotta do what ya gotta do, ya know?

 

[Sophie_2003]

maybe not good for marital relations...but I have threatened to go without him!!!

 

[rlduvall]

How do you convince your dh to keep going back? My husband says its not fun anymore... my younger son who is 6 is begging to go back, he hasnt been since he was 5 (he turns 7 in December). I am trying to plan a trip for Jan 2009.. any help with dh would be great!

I just go without him. I love my hubby, but I really, really enjoy Disney and he doesn't. So it's not fair to either one of us to either 1) Me give Disney up; or 2) DH go to Disney and be miserable [making everyone miserable also ].

We've been married over 14 years, so this approach seems to be working.

If I ever 'have to' remarry, I am going to submit a 10 page questionnaire to any potential candidate and ask how they feel about Disney.

 

[disnut8]

Why does he think it's not fun anymore? There's a solution for any reason he has.

My husband didn't want to go for a while because every time we went, we had an argument. Mostly because I said we had to do things my way because I was the expert and he should just listen to me. We finally had a calm discussion about it and I realized he was 100% correct. I wasn't letting him make any decisions while we are there. So, for the next two trips, I let him decide every day what we were doing. Even in the parks. On the third trip, we became partners in all the decisions and it's been fantastic since then.

I think that's what happens in a lot of the Disney trips. One or the other partner takes control for the vacation and the other once might not really like that. If the other partner if fine, then no problem. But if they want to contribute and can't (how many of us have said "no, we can't go that way because of....."), then it isn't fun for that partner.

 

[dougsmom98]

My DH has agreed to keep going back because when we go, we rent a villa with its own pool and we don't go to the parks everyday anymore. Our first couple of trips were go, go, go. We did parks from opening until close everyday that we were on vacation. Now, we go to the parks a couple of the days and relax by the pool on the other days.

 

[Vjale]

Does he really mean it? My husband moans and groans every time I plan a Disney vacation. He makes like it is a miserable time for him and why do we have to do it again? But when we get there, it is a totally different story. I will admit in years past, I was a little crazed about getting on every ride and not missing a thing, which made for a very HECTIC vacation. I have since realized that what we miss this time, we will see next time, and take a much slower, more relaxed pace. It does make for a nicer time.

 

[Contemporary_Man]

With us, it was the opposite. The Wife (then girlfriend) had only been to Disney World once as a child. Evidently she was sick on that trip and didn't have fond memories. Given that, she had no desire to visit as an adult.

I eventually won her over and now she truly enjoys visiting. Every situation is different, but I will gladly share my plan of attack.

First, I realized that it was a large enough step that she was willing to go. The last thing that I needed to do was to bore her with incessant planning and non-stop Disney World trivia. I did all of the planning and didn't even mention the trip unless she brought something up.

Next, I basically catered the trip to her interests. In a sense, it is giving up doing everything the way you like, but you still get to go and you hope that they will have happy memories and want to return.

The first trip was ok. I enjoyed it, but at times it was frustrating not going about things exactly the way I wanted. She enjoyed the trip, but didn't seem uber excited. About a year later, she started talking about having fun and possibly going again.

The second trip was amazing. She was a little more interested in planning and had some ideas about what she would enjoy. I still catered much of the trip to her, but worked in my way as well. In the end, I'm actually glad I had to win her over. It rejuvenated my interests and I learned a new way of experiencing Disney. We are now annual pass holders and take two trips per year.

 

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

My DH doesn't spend the time researching WDW like I do. However, he loves it just as much. His first time was in August for our honeymoon and we are going back in January. So, I'm very lucky.

However, I do have a piece of advice. Go with the flow! If you have researched well and know all that there is to see, well then, once you get there - RELAX! Let your DH be your guide. You both might like it better that way.

 

[Tinkbellfan]

Other than our trip in two weeks (DH has a conference), we go without him. We take other "family" trips that he happily participates in, but on this point he will not budge. He just doesn't enjoy WDW like DD and I do. My DD tells our friends that he just doesn't feel the magic! I tell him in advance when we will be going so he can plan his own vacation around it (he extreme ski's and we don't!).

We have been happily married for 20 years - so I guess it hasn't affected the relationship too much! He's such a good guy he even purchased DVC for us!

I would give him some touring control, but if he still feels the same after the next trip, you might be in my shoes. Good luck!

 

[Jill in Chicago]

I agree with the other posters sit down and have a calm discussion and really listen to his complaints/concerns. Why is it that it is not fun for him? Do not let him give big broad complaints. Explain that you really want to understand him. Is it the heat? The lines? The exhaustion? Getting up early every day?

We went two times when the boys were much younger. Our youngest son, now 14 and I really, REALLY wanted to go again. DH balked. Not his idea of fun.... I stated firmly that DS and I were going with or without him. Period. He was shocked. He thought I would be too scared to do this alone. Nope.

Then we talked. I brought up the food and wine festival. He was very interested in that, and was surprised that I would be willing to give up not only one evening of touring, but an afternoon and a second evening all devoted to the food and wine festival. Then I found a rental home, with a pool, only 15 minutes from Animal Kingdom. We had our own bedroom. (This appealed to him for obvious reasons.)

He loved the thought of lounging in the pool, and I promised we would come back every single day for appetizers and drinks in the pool. I would not drag him around the parks all day. He hated that! Drinks in the pool was a huge hit for all of us. So relaxing not to have other kids and balls and toys zooming around our heads.

Some nights we returned to the parks. Other nights we stayed home. One night just DH and I went to the food and wine festival.

If your DH has firmly stated he doesn't want to go, let him be. Go alone.

 

[lustergirl]

go without him!!

 

[dudelydude]

I would just try to get to the heart of the matter and start to resolve from there.

Do you need better planning, so it satisfys his need to feel like things are getting done? If so, look into a more efficient itinerary that doesn't have you waiting in lines all day.

Are you going to all of the same places with each trip or staying at the same resort? If so, try to plan excursions to places you haven't been on the property. Print out a list of tours, boatrides, shows that might be different than what you have seen before and read them over with him.

Are you planning everything around the kids when he wants some things to do for himself or for just the two of you without kids? That's a tough one, but you may need to start recruiting other couples or extended family to go with you, so you can get away for a few hours without the kids.

Ask him to give it one more and to go through all of the Disney sites to learn about new and exciting things that you can do while visiting.

Hope that helps,
Joe

 

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

It might be possible to that Disney is just not his thing. I know we have a heard time believing that but there are lots of people who just aren't that into it. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to ask him where he wants to go and give that a try for a change. Maybe only do every second or third vacation at Disney.

 

[haveitall]

Disney is the ONLY place that DH want to go to. He loves getting up early and hitting the park and goin all day. I love to go too. So it is a win win for us.
We stand on site for the first time in 2006. We also went by ourselves. The kids are grown and most don't want to go anyway. We do get to see our oldest and her boys because they live in GA and we pay for them to come down.

We are going again for 15 days this time. Last time it was for 9 days. Next we might buy into DVC. Hopefully. We both want to move down there. WE would probably go ever weekend. LOL

Have fun and let him in on the planning.

Sylvia

 

[motocrossmom]

My DH has agreed to keep going back because when we go, we rent a villa with its own pool and we don't go to the parks everyday anymore. Our first couple of trips were go, go, go. We did parks from opening until close everyday that we were on vacation. Now, we go to the parks a couple of the days and relax by the pool on the other days.

Where is the Villa you rent?
Thanks