"Keep Calm and Carry On" April 2020 W.I.S.H. Challenge

[sjrec]

We just got the order that our schools will be online the rest of the year. I knew this was coming but I feel defeated today. My kids get mostly A's and B's. Right now they both have F's in all of their classes. For assignments they are getting P for completed work, I for incomplete and NS for not turned in. This equates to you either get an A or and F. Teachers are being great and everything. This vent has nothing to do with them. More so here at my house. The amount of time I need to be on my kids to get their stuff done and turned in is really wearing on my. There have been some fighting with the kids over this. I may not survive this. Teachers are god sents. The teachers here have talked about how much work you are doing as well as my mom (she is a teacher). She is giving us (my sister and I) some tips to help. We have gotten in a grove with everything but school work. We need to figure this out quickly.

This is tough. No advice because I have certainly never experienced anything like this. But I bet plenty of parents are dealing with the same frustration. And don’t be afraid to reach out to the teachers for help-they will be happy to help.

 

[Summer2018]

We just got the order that our schools will be online the rest of the year. I knew this was coming but I feel defeated today. My kids get mostly A's and B's. Right now they both have F's in all of their classes. For assignments they are getting P for completed work, I for incomplete and NS for not turned in. This equates to you either get an A or and F. Teachers are being great and everything. This vent has nothing to do with them. More so here at my house. The amount of time I need to be on my kids to get their stuff done and turned in is really wearing on my. There have been some fighting with the kids over this. I may not survive this. Teachers are god sents. The teachers here have talked about how much work you are doing as well as my mom (she is a teacher). She is giving us (my sister and I) some tips to help. We have gotten in a grove with everything but school work. We need to figure this out quickly.

I really feel for you. I was discussing this very topic with a colleague today. She teaches 8th grade. She has completely overhauled her grading system. Basically unless a family is refusing to try to participate and is ignoring her attempts at educating their child, everyone is getting A's and B's. We all email families a minimum of 3 times a day. Those that don't turn in work or respond, we call. Early on before things got scary, our principals and security guards were actually going home to home delivering work and asking if they could be of assistance. We are handing out Chromebooks. Everyone that needs food is getting fed. Masks are being distributed. The outreach is amazing. Now everything has to be by phone and email. We just want parents and kids to try. Nobody at my school fails unless they choose to fail.

I would absolutely reach out to the teachers and ask for support. Be honest about any challenges you have. As far as your kids, if you don't already have one, I would suggest a schedule that they must follow. If they get their work done, they can watch tv, play video games, family game night with board games, whatever is rewarding to them in quarantine.

I'm not going to pretend that this easy. I am so grateful that my kid is 22 and done with school. I can't imagine working from home while homeschooling my children. It really is A LOT especially while we are under tremendous stress.

My mantra lately is "one day at a time."

 

[Summer2018]

 

[Oneanne]

TUESDAY TOPIC:
Easy Buttons vs Reset Buttons

In 'Untamed" Glennon Doyle talks about knowing your buttons. "Easy" buttons temporarily take us out of pain and stress but ultimately leave us feeling worst. "Reset" buttons help by making staying with the pain/stress a little more possible. Her "Easy" buttons are things like boozing and shopping and her "Reset" buttons are things like take a walk, meditate, play with the dog.

When thinking about our journeys to healthful living, what are some of your "Easy" buttons and what are some of your "Reset" buttons. What actions can you take to assure you reset instead of taking the easy route?

 

[PollyannaMom]

Easy button: naps - I've been known to sit down to "watch TV" after dinner...and fall asleep on the couch. I feel better immediately, but then I wake up a couple of hours later with painfully dry contact lenses and chores still to do before I actually go to bed (where I will have trouble falling back to sleep, because I've woken myself up.)

Reset buttons: definitely getting outside! - One of my cats knows this, too. She'll ask to go out when I'm doing so many things at once I can't even think. But if I cave in and take her, I always come back in with a better attitude.

P.S. - Love the quote!

 

[MickeyMom76]

We just got the order that our schools will be online the rest of the year. I knew this was coming but I feel defeated today. My kids get mostly A's and B's. Right now they both have F's in all of their classes. For assignments they are getting P for completed work, I for incomplete and NS for not turned in. This equates to you either get an A or and F. Teachers are being great and everything. This vent has nothing to do with them. More so here at my house. The amount of time I need to be on my kids to get their stuff done and turned in is really wearing on my. There have been some fighting with the kids over this. I may not survive this. Teachers are god sents. The teachers here have talked about how much work you are doing as well as my mom (she is a teacher). She is giving us (my sister and I) some tips to help. We have gotten in a grove with everything but school work. We need to figure this out quickly.

I am hearing my several of my parents that they are having trouble getting their kids to complete all the activities I assign them on Seesaw (our online learning platform). I know this is a problem at all ages, but honestly I’m a little surprised with this from the young ones. They are typically excited to do things on the iPads including learning activities. But then I thought about it. They are used to changing environments (from home to school). At home they are surrounded by different distractions (their toys, tv, siblings, etc). So I tried to think how I could help parents with this. Well, the first parent that brought this to my attention said she’s trying to reward her with picking out a toy online if she does well on her school activities. So I recommended to her to make a simple sticker chart so she can visually see her progress and know when she meets her goal. So now that several parents have expressed this same concern, I’m thinking of starting a virtual sticker chart for each student on a google doc that I can share do they can see it at home. They can earn a sticker by completing 5 activities (keep in mind, these are short kindergarten activities that take anywhere from 1-10 minutes). They get a bonus sticker if they do all the activities on the assigned day. Once they fill their sticker chart, I will mail them a certificate and a small prize (stickers, rubber bracelet, etc). I even encouraged parents to extend the reward at home with some fun activity the kids enjoy like they get to pick a family game, movie, or dinner. Fingers crossed it works like I intend and no one thinks of it as me being too pushy. Just thought I’d share in case it could help.

 

[piglet1979]

Thanks everyone. I have been communicating with Nicks teacher. This is nothing new as we had a hard time with him turning in homework. I knew this would be rough for him. We have a bit of a schedule for the kids. They just need to have the work done by the time we are done with work at about 4. The problem is they tell me they are done but then I get the "grade" and it is not. They use google classroom and I can't get on to look at their work to make sure it is done. I am now getting daily summaries for Nick of the work he needs to do. I am going to email Elizabeth's to get the same. I know I am not the only one as I got a remind message from Elizabeth's Social Studies teacher that only 32 out 108 students have completed everything. With being in 7th and 8th grade teachers are communication mostly with the kids and only with parents as needed. I am hoping that we get things together soon.

Well for today we will see how things go. I woke up with a horrible headache. Advil has helped some but it is not going away. I have so much to do at work right now too. This might be a migraine pill day and take a break in the middle of the day and come back to work later. This might be a long week for me as I think this headache is partial hormone related and partial sinus issues.

 

[MickeyMom76]

Sorry I missed posting on motivation Monday. I fell back to sleep for 30 minutes, then had to hurry downstairs to post my lessons in time. Then I did my workout and had a phone meeting with one of my aides. She is looking for ways to help teachers, so I asked if she’d make some short videos of math activities she was doing with her small group so they could practice these at home. So we were going over what she could do. The next thing I know it was lunch time. My daughter marinated chicken and husband helped her grill it. Then they made salads with the grilled chicken. It was delicious. Then we were outside pretty much the rest of the day to finish what we started on Sunday. Our motivation was the weather. We’re supposed to get some big storm today. So we had to finish putting up the lattice around the bottoms of the deck, then I had a few new things to plant, then it was moving the mulch from the driveway to the back around the deck. In then middle of this, my parents asked if my son could mow their lawn, which he started doing last summer and hasn’t done for them yet this year. They were also trying to get it done before the rain this week. With all this work, we didn’t get to starting dinner until 8:00. So my daughter made a frozen pizza for us as we finished cleaning up outside. It was a busy and exhausting day, but it was so great to be outside and it’s just warms my heart when we work in big projects like this together as a family!

 

[MickeyMom76]

My easy button is planning Disney trips (or other vacations) that we aren’t even taking (I just enjoy planning vacations)...and online shopping even when half the time I never actually place the order. Oh and I guess watching TV would fall in the category too.

My reset buttons are a good night of sleep, praying, bike rides, walks, runs and actual Disney vacations (or any vacation).

 

[Oneanne]

Topic Tuesday

Easy buttons:
* Definitely consuming my drug of choice sugar, so that emotions are numbed and I don't have to feel. I'm doing well right now with not over consuming sugar, but I do have a little bit here and there. I've gotten clean enough that I can feel the affect it has on my body/mind.
* I've just recently realized I'm a compulsive shopper. I buy on impulse and emotion... Amazon's 'buy it now' button is literally as easy as it gets. I used to joke that I'm searching for the lipstick color that will change my life, but sadly it is true, that is what I do... try to self-sooth by buying the perfect thing(s). The only un-essential things I've bought since quarantine are the seeds/starter trays and a book I've been thinking about for quite a while. It has really been a revelation.

Re-set buttons:
* Go for a walk, even a short one, just get outside and move.
* Pause to say my mantra to myself, and breathe until I settle in/down.
* Start my days with a meditation ritual, so I am aligned and in the best space when I enter the day.

 

[sjrec]

Easy button-definitely food related. Usually something I can put butter on.
Reset button-being outside. Just sitting on the deck in the sunshine does wonders for my mood. Or doing something in the yard(MickeyMom76, your deck looks lovely!). Reading is also good reset for me. And that quiet moment in church before the service starts.

 

[Summer2018]

Sorry I missed posting on motivation Monday. I fell back to sleep for 30 minutes, then had to hurry downstairs to post my lessons in time. Then I did my workout and had a phone meeting with one of my aides. She is looking for ways to help teachers, so I asked if she’d make some short videos of math activities she was doing with her small group so they could practice these at home. So we were going over what she could do. The next thing I know it was lunch time. My daughter marinated chicken and husband helped her grill it. Then they made salads with the grilled chicken. It was delicious. Then we were outside pretty much the rest of the day to finish what we started on Sunday. Our motivation was the weather. We’re supposed to get some big storm today. So we had to finish putting up the lattice around the bottoms of the deck, then I had a few new things to plant, then it was moving the mulch from the driveway to the back around the deck. In then middle of this, my parents asked if my son could mow their lawn, which he started doing last summer and hasn’t done for them yet this year. They were also trying to get it done before the rain this week. With all this work, we didn’t get to starting dinner until 8:00. So my daughter made a frozen pizza for us as we finished cleaning up outside. It was a busy and exhausting day, but it was so great to be outside and it’s just warms my heart when we work in big projects like this together as a family!
View attachment 489669

BEAUTIFUL!

 

[Summer2018]

Thanks everyone. I have been communicating with Nicks teacher. This is nothing new as we had a hard time with him turning in homework. I knew this would be rough for him. We have a bit of a schedule for the kids. They just need to have the work done by the time we are done with work at about 4. The problem is they tell me they are done but then I get the "grade" and it is not. They use google classroom and I can't get on to look at their work to make sure it is done. I am now getting daily summaries for Nick of the work he needs to do. I am going to email Elizabeth's to get the same. I know I am not the only one as I got a remind message from Elizabeth's Social Studies teacher that only 32 out 108 students have completed everything. With being in 7th and 8th grade teachers are communication mostly with the kids and only with parents as needed. I am hoping that we get things together soon.

Well for today we will see how things go. I woke up with a horrible headache. Advil has helped some but it is not going away. I have so much to do at work right now too. This might be a migraine pill day and take a break in the middle of the day and come back to work later. This might be a long week for me as I think this headache is partial hormone related and partial sinus issues.

Just keep trying. All we can do is our best.

 

[Summer2018]

Easy: Shopping, Eating, and today after a very stressful and frustrating morning of work, a glass of wine with lunch. (I normally only imbibe for celebrating, but today I really needed to chill out, and I can't walk on the beach with the thunderstorm happening right now.)

Reset: Walk on the beach, prayer, talking with my "Ride or Dies".

 

[piglet1979]

Today work was a mess. Though we got a lot done. My headache did go away, thankfully. I email all the kids teachers today and just basically said we are working on it and we are not ignoring it. Nick's math teacher has been the most helpful out of all the teachers but they all have been great. I did sit down with nick this afternoon for a few hours with him. We went though each class and what he is missing and had him do each one while he was with me. He should be all caught up except for 1 assignment that I told him he could do tomorrow. I told him we will do this at least twice a week just to stay on tract.

I also email Elizabeth's teachers and they all said she is doing great and they said she is reaching out to them when something is missing to fix it. Though I have not heard from her social studies teacher and this is the class that she has nothing done in. I she has explained it to me and she is working on it. They are quizzes that she needs to take but she has to get a certain number right. She keeps getting 1 less. She can take it over but needs to wait for the teacher to reset it. So it just takes time.

We are getting there. I am feeling a bit better this afternoon.

 

[Oneanne]

WOOHOO AWAY!

 

[4Mickeys]

I feel so far behind lol .... I have been tired the last couple of nights and just didn't have the energy to post.

So I will work backwards:

Today I am woohooing:
The ability the work from home - I am loving it. As well as the opportunity to catch up on paperwork and just breathe a little work wise after being off for most of term 1. My job can get pretty crazy sometimes and I feel like I am chasing my tail - this imposed different working style, with kids mostly not in schools and therapists confined to base or work from home is creating a positive space - if embraced the right way,
Sunset walk at the beach with DD - we ran into one her friends and her mother doing the same thing - so got to have a brief in person socially distanced chat.
The weather - it is wonderful here

Easy Buttons: Chocolate, napping, tv.

Reset Buttons: A good chat with a friend, beach, a good cry when its just needed - sometimes you don't even you know you need it and end up really crying in a movie or tv show - I did that this week (i can't even remember the show now) but I just gave into it and then I felt better. My newly found meditations.

@MickeyMom76 your deck and yard looks fantastic

I feel for all of you in the school - teaching/learning struggle at the moment. Mine aren't too bad being 16 - in year 11 they are fairly motivated as they actually start their year 12 work in term 4 this year - so they have that motivating them not too lose too much preparation time. In a supportive way I just want to say to make sure you have appropriate expectations of yourselves as parents, teachers and even of your own kids - we all tend to put alot of pressure on ourselves to excel but don't set that bar to high at the moment - be kind. I say this as someone who has had to work hard in the past 6 months to really - rethink the expectations I place on myself. @piglet1979 - glad to hear you have make some progress - I was thinking about it and I know your DD experiences some anxiety - I am wondering if it is like all of us a reaction to the changes in learning styles and the worry in the world right not but also partly about knowing how to organise themselves to get the work done at home, feeling anxious about less teacher reassurance/contact/organisation etc. This style of learning at the moment does require some more mature independent learning for some of our kids. There is a psychologist I like who likes to really involve the kids in problem solving - he gets you to ask specific questions like "I have noticed you are having trouble getting started on your book report for english, whats up with that?" then give space for the child to answer - don't throw out any of your 'thoughts about why yet' sometimes you need to let some silence sit while they think and then respond - the key here is that we are giving space for the kids to tell us their perspective and often the problem may not be what we thought it was. Repeat it back to them to make sure you have understood - and it helps them feel like they were heard - they may have several reasons - make sure you get them all out. Then we clarify our concern e.g. "I am concerned you won't get your book report done by the due date and you might lose marks if its late" - now that you have heard what the kids see as the roadblock and clarified that with them - now invite them to problem solve with you "I wonder if there is a way to help you get the report started..." - again they may need some thinking space - or you might need to model some ideas if they really don't have any ideas- but don't let all the ideas be yours - one of their ideas may even be to ask you for help When I have used this approach with kids I am so impressed even with quite young children e.g. grade 2 as to their personal insight and ability to help problem solve. We ask the specific questions rather than the big "why aren't you doing all of your school work at the moment - as it is too big for the kids to think about and respond to - so by breaking it down specifically we have more of a chance for them to interact with it. The best thing my kids school communicated to us as parents was that it was not our job to answer all of the kids questions about their learning at the moment but for the kids to write down their questions of they had any and to ask their teacher - even if it was via email, or during their learning online learning sessions. Anyway that is my stab at being a supportive friend from far away at the moment - I know you will sort it out you are a wonderful mother

@Oneanne - I have done a morning meditation each day this week and then I get out of bed and wait about 10 minutes and do my morning BP - it has been really good this week so far - not sure if the meditation is helping yet .... last week it had been up a bit (before the meditations) - but I'm not sure if that was hormonal cycle - will be interesting to see if I can keep up the meditations for over a month including during that same hormone cycle to see if it stays lower than it has been. I am trying really hard to remember to do my evening BP at the moment too - I am usually worse at tracking that when I am working as it gets lost in the business of the day - but am doing better this week - I have done a walk each afternoon and my evening BP is looking pretty good as well So I am really wondering about the stress relief benefits of the meditation and sleep visualisations...

Well I think I have more than made up for not posting the last couple of nights lol - have a great day everyone

 

[Summer2018]

Yesterday I was feeling a lot of frustration, fear, and sadness.

The frustration came directly from the superintendent who has yet another plan which will only add to teachers' burdens. I swear this man must be bored out of his mind not having his minions running around his office constantly doing his bidding. He must be going crazy because we have settled into yet another routine and are actually making progress. Not good enough for him! No! He must add another thing to the pile. He must switch things up a bit to keep it interesting...for him. The things I would like to do to this man...

The fear is coming from Facebook stories and news stories of just how horrific this virus is. I won't burden you with specifics. The problem is that they flamed my fears. I'm going to have to avoid all of that going forward. I just can't handle it. The nightmares I had last night were terrifying, and they are directly linked to my fear.

The sadness comes from my students. I called the English-speaking families, and I spoke to some of my students who just plain cried. I stayed on the phone with them trying to reassure them and tell them that I miss them, and I love them. Then at the end of the day, a mother texted me photos of Gabby writing her first and last name. Awesome. Then she sent a voice memo of her begging to come back to school. Gabby's sweet tiny voice got me where I live. That was it. I lost it. I started balling in my daughter's arms. It ended up being cathartic, and I did feel better afterward.

Today I have a meeting at 11am on TEAMs, so I'm going to have to do my hair and makeup and get dressed on my top half. Since I'm going through all of that, I may as well film some videos for my YouTube channel. I'm going to try to keep as much negativity out as I can control today. I need to do better than yesterday. When my emotions are out of control, it affects DD and DH.

So, Woo Hoo, it's Wednesday. It's a chance to start fresh and make positivity a priority.

 

[Oneanne]

Just some small woohoos today.

I trimmed my bangs and didn't butcher them. I was very conservative and probably only bought myself a week before they start falling into my eyes again, so from here on out it'll be headbands for me.

I've been sleeping really, really well. I have a small bedroom (in a small house) and there are widows on two walls, two doors on one wall and part of the other wall is covered by the open door, so not a lot of options on where you can place things. I've always resisted putting the head of the bed in front of a window because it's bad feng shui, but about a month ago I did just that because I wanted balance in the room and it allowed me to place the bed with equal space on either side. Since then I've been sleeping so well, when I walk in to the room I get happy because my bed feels like such a safe haven.

And lastly, the cherry trees in the neighborhood are blooming, including the one in my Sister's old yard which I can see from my front window.

@4Mickeys I'd say absolutely meditation is helping with your blood pressure. I can bring my systolic number down by 10 points just by doing my breathing exercise for a couple minutes.

 

[sjrec]

I have lost that winter weight-9lbs since late February, so am feeling much better. I would like to lose a few more pounds, but I think I just need to maintain right now.

I have really been enjoying my walks-and I think it’s partly because the trees are in bloom, flowers everywhere-I love Spring, and in PA it can be such a short season. We go from cold to hot and humid with not a lot in between.