Kathy's Quest (with the help of WW, WISH, Disney and YOU!! Please Come on in!!

[Valentine]

Hi Everyone! I have been so inspired by the stories I have read here.. and continue to read... I think a Journal is a great idea... and someplace to come to be accountable!

A little bit about me... probably mirrors many of you -

I was skinny once in my life... from about 3-6 years of age.. I was a chubby baby.. and then a chubby kid/teen/young adult/adult. I suffered the usual teasing that most chubby kids do.. but alot of it was by my own mother... things like.. LOUDLY announcing in the middle of Alexanders (for those of you who remember that place) that I needed to shop in the HUSKY Section.. and things like "if you keep walking around barefoot I'll have to buy you Shoeboxes instead of shoes"

It's funny how some comments never leave your memory. They stay burned into your very soul. I think that these comments, along with.. "you'll never lose weight" and.. "why bother" ... anytime I on my own attempted to watch what I ate (even at the age of 11) were the basic foundation that caused me to continually fail at any attempt I made in my adult life to lose the weight. I always heard that voice in the back of my head telling me I couldn't do it.. that I wasn't worth it. (that same voice makes me fail at relationships.. but that's a story for another board!! LOL!) And I would listen by sabotoging myself.

But then something miraculous happened. Sometime in August of 2004 I had a medical issue.. nothing dramatic.. but the doctor said something to me that made me take a long hard look at myself. I decided right then to make some drastic changes in my life. I Joined WW online... I joined a gym.. I quit drinking (also a story for another board!) .... that voice in my head was there.. but now it was MY voice... saying loud and strong... YOU CAN DO IT.. YOU WILL DO IT.. YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!

SO.. here I am, 40, single, 26 lbs lighter... and steadily working towards my goal. I, like many folks out here, hit a bit of a "lazy" patch over the holidays... I never quit.. I constantly was aware of what I was doing.. as far as food went.. but I was no longer going to the gym. And My loss stalled and HORROR of all HORRORS.. I gained 6 lbs.. I have no idea how it happened.. but I decided it was not going to continue... I wasn't going to fall into my old patterns of putting me last...

I really wanted to run the 1/2 marathon this year.. I was registered and everything.. but I made excuses and didn't train.. and didn't go. I was very disappointed with myself... I really thought that starting to train in August was way too late for this year's marathon. So... I have now set my eye on 2006. I am registered... and ready. I have decided that I am going to dedicate my run to my friend's son who has Cystic Fibrosis and raise money for his "team". This is a fail safe way to make sure I keep up my training.

I am doing WW online. I do not attend meetings. I found them to be hard for me... if I was afraid that I might have gained.. I would not want to face the failure.. I didn't want to be judged. At least online I was my only judge. I have been very good about logging in my weight and staying on track.


Obviously, I am a HUGE Disney Fan. I have recently discovered my love of solo trips to the World. I was there 4 times last year. (I have to justify the AP you know!!

Oh My.. I just scrolled back up and saw how much I have written.. I guess I should add that I LOVE to write also! almost as much as I like to read other people's stories!

Well.. that is me so far... I am going to go and figure out how to post my before and current photo's ....

But for now... I hope to get to know all of you... I look forward to it.. and to running that 1/2 next year with some of you!

Thanks for reading!!

Kathy

 

[Princess Michelle]

Welcome Kathy! It's great to have you join us!

I definitely understand the feelings of being an overweight adolescent. It is really hard to get over that and all the things people say to you, like you don't have feelings or something. They think they are helping in some screwed up way but it really just makes you feel worse.

BUT, you made it through that and some other tough life lessons too and here you are, strong, determined and well on your way to success!

Best WISHes to you in reaching your goal! I think it's awesome that you are going to do the 1/2 next year not only for yourself but also for such a worthy cause.

Have a great weekend!

 

[Lizzydoll73]

Welcome to WISH Kathy. This is a great place and everyone here is so supportive. I know you will have success reaching your goal. Have a great weekend and I look forward to reading your journal.

 

[DisneyEnthusiastic]

Welcome to WISH Kathy! I look forward to reading about your journey! You will get so much support here...post often!

Gail

 

[Valentine]

Thanks for your welcomes!! Such a great place to be! You all seem so fabulously kind!

Okay... I am attempting to add a photo now... Here is my scary at Disney before photo.. I don't even know what my weight was here... But it was really high!

 

[Valentine]

Thanks for your welcomes!! Such a great place to be! You all seem so fabulously kind!

I am attempting to get my photos to work now! Hmmm!!!!!

 

[toystoryduo]

Welcome to WISH Kathy!!!

You will find a lot of support and encouragement here.

That's wonderful that you are going to do the 2006 marathon in honor of your friend's son. What a special way to commemorate a special event in your life.

Have a wonderful weekend, Kathy and welcome again!

 

[Valentine]

Okay... I think I have the basic idea of the photo thing.. but I don't have the patience right now! So.. I figured I should stop playing around with technology... and get down to the business of journaling. I am going to use this as a sort of food/exercise/psyologicalesque journal. I want to see how and when I falter... so I consider my day's events impact my eating... so.. you can all consider me your personal soap opera.. LOL!! No.. I won't get that detailed.. often.. So.. here goes today:

Food:
Breakfast - 2 lowfat belgian waffles w/low fat syrup (dipped only) - 5pts
1 large cup of tea w/ 1% milk - 1 pt

Mid Morning Snack - 1 Grapefruit 1pt

Lunch - Grilled Chicken on Whole Wheat Wrap w/ lett & Tom - 5 pts
1 can of Corn - 1 pt

 

[plutosmyfav]

Hi Kathy,
Welcome
You have made huge stride in turning around your life and recording over those old tapes in your head. I'm so glad you joined the WISH journals. You'll have plenty of space for your writing

Your race with a cause is a great incentive to keep you on track. I am thinking of doing that, too. I was also registered for this years half but wasn't able to go.

Keep up the great work

Sundie

 

[Valentine]

Okay... I think I have the basic idea of the photo thing.. but I don't have the patience right now! So.. I figured I should stop playing around with technology... and get down to the business of journaling. I am going to use this as a sort of food/exercise/psyologicalesque journal. I want to see how and when I falter... so I consider my day's events impact on my eating... so.. you can all consider me your personal soap opera.. LOL!! No.. I won't get that detailed.. often.. So.. here goes today:

Water: 60 oz (plus the tea and dc) = 120 oz

Food:
Breakfast - 2 lowfat belgian waffles w/low fat syrup (dipped only) - 5pts
1 large cup of tea w/ 1% milk - 1 pt

Mid Morning Snack - 1 Grapefruit 1pt

Lunch - Grilled Chicken on Whole Wheat Wrap w/ lett & Tom - 5 pts
1 can of Corn - 1 pt
20 oz Caffeine Free Diet Coke - 0 pts

Afternoon Snack - 2 pomegranites (small) - 3pts

Dinner - Leftover Chicken taco junk - 5pts
Guiltless Gourmet Chips - 2 pts
Salsa/tomatoes/refried Beans - 0 pts

Evening Computer Snack - 2 cups of Tea

Total - 24 pts

Exercise:

Treadmill - 40 minutes at steady pace 3.5/4.5 incline
Circuit Training - 20 minutes

Psychie

Pretty good day. Feeling proud of myself that I have a newfound determination. Work was VERY slow today. I have to kick it up a notch at the office to try and generate some more business. Unfortunately, delving into a not too healthy past-time of mine... a relationship that is not the best for me.. and I know it... but I seem to settle for it when I have nothing else going on. Taking what I can get.. Gosh that sounds desperate and sad. I feel an end coming to this very soon. I actually cancelled our plans for this evening.. something I would NEVER have done in the past. I wanted to go to the gym and not feel pressured to get home in time to meet for dinner. I wanted to have "me" time... and I said so. So... that is a little healthier.. but honestly partially because I know we have plans for the rest of the weekend... sooooooo... not so brave Well.. one step at a time!
Also.. I gave up a nightime ritual that I had started. Since I gave up alchohol back in August... I started having O'douls as a substitute whenever I felt like having a "drink". Well I felt that I had substituted one substance for another... and be it alchololic or non-alchoholic... it felt like an unhealthy addiction, but also, I felt it was impeding my weight loss, (same reason I gave up the alchohol also) so.. I decided that I needed to resist the temptation and not bring it into the house. I am proud of that. Very strange thing has happened to me over the past few months... when I decide to give something up... I just avoid it for a few weeks.. and then I can be exposed to it and not even be slightly tempted. I wish that would happen with Pasta!! But I think that is a hopeless dream!! LOL!!

Till Tomorrow.....

 

[geetey]

Hi Kathy!
Welcome to the WISH Journal board!! I saw your posts about the marathon on the WISH board. Good luck to you and your training for the half! I know you can do it - especially if you start preparing now. Baby steps and slow and steady is the best way. Let me know if you need any links to some training plans. I have several saved.

I'll be checking in on you. Don't let any whip comments scare you though. I never use the whip unless someone asks first.

 

[sarahsmom73]

Hi Kathy!!! I am pretty new here too! I LOVE IT HERE!

I just wanted to welcome you and to tell you something you already know.. The support here is phenominal! It has helped me to sat on track and lose 10 lbs in 15 days! Why? Because I guess what I was lacking was the support!

Glad you are joining us!

Jen

 

[wilderness01]

Hi and welcome.

 

[Valentine]

Thanks for all of the Hellos and words of support!! It really does help!

Happy Saturday Everyone (I know.. a little late in the day!) Spent the day cleaning and preparing for plans that never happened! So.. my food today was really weird as I was planning for a dinner out... and that sort of flew out the window... as well as my self control at one point...(as you will see from one food choice!) Here we go!

Food:

Breakfast:

Cup of Tea w/ ff milk - 0 pts
4 slices of Light Style PF 7 Grain Bread with CC - 5 pts

Lunch/Dinner:

Whole Wheat Wrap w/ 2 oz of Chicken Select Strips
Lettuce & Tomato, Vinegar - 4 pts

Baked Lays BBQ Chips - 12 pts (yeah 12points.. ate the whole bag! Not that hard really... that's why I don't USUALLY keep em in the house!)

Snacks:

Orange 1pt
Grapefruit 1pt
FF Hot Choc made w/FF Milk 1pt
Small Salad w/Vinegar & drop of oil 1pt

Total: 25 pts

Exercise:

I did not go to the gym today.. (I usually do not on weekends). But I really wanted to attempt the yoga class. Poor planning on my part as I didn't have the schedule of classes.... so.. easy excuse not to go!

Cleaned the house...so, was not on my butt for long today. Also walked a little.. but nothing to write home about.

Psychie:
Well... a roller coaster day. Opened my eyes.. and had a great attitude... and the day went to complete doo-doo after that! Argued with my best friend ... resolved it.. but it was just a bad few hours... I definitely deal with conflict much better than before. I would have been done in for days before.. but now I just don't absorb it like I used to. I assess the situation.. and then decide what it is I want to do... not wait to feel better until the other person tells my how to feel. Sooo.. a little step in the right direction. Only really low point food wise for the day was the chips. I knew when I picked them up and put them in my shopping cart that I would eat the whole bag.. and I still bought them. I was having a weak moment... and didn't talk myself down off the ledge! OY!!! In my own defense.. I knew at that point that my dinner plans were not happening... and I did count the points... alloted for them actually. I wanted them... and I had them. I didn't go over my points for the day... well.. actually.. did by 1 pt. (use one of my flex for that) Positive side of the day was that I used my anger/upset energy to do positive things... I cleaned out my closet and dresser of clothes that are too big for me... or... that I have just been attached to but deserved to be thrown out!!! I made a huge bag of the clothes that are too big.. and I plan to give them away.

Going to see Avenue Q tomorrow. I can't wait... I love that show!! Saw it once before... it is hilarious!! One of the benefits of living here in NY.... can see shows whenever we want. SOrt of take it for granted. Got tickets for the Lion King for next weekend also.. FINALLY!! I can't believe I have not seen this show yet!! I should hang my Disney loving head in shame!!

So.. I am off to read some other journals! Have a nice night!

Kathy

 

[sarahsmom73]

Everybody has a slip up once and a while! Besides today is a new day!!!

It would be a bad thing if I lived in NYC! We have been twice since Nov.. In Nov we saw the Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular.. My brother got DD, my mom and I tickets to Beauty and the Beast and My DH, Dad and himself tickets to 12 Angry Men for Dec... I LOVE SHOWS! I am a junkie (shhhhh... don't tell!)

Have a wonderful day and enjoy the show!

 

[Valentine]

Good Morning... Felt like a lump on a log all weekend! I have been remiss in writing in my journal for a few days as I have been on a whirlwind week... a few shows... (Avenue Q and The Lion King) Some movies... and dinners out.. so... a busy social week for me... and then this weekend.. LOTS of SNOW.. and cancelled plans.. so.. a bit down and didn't really want to write. I was busily planning a getaway to Disney instead!! No definite dates.. but I would like to go sometime in middle of february or early march.. looking like early march right now! Oh well!!!

I have been in a bit of a slump as far as losing goes... I have been stuck at 186 for about a month now... going up and down all during the week.. (more up than down) but always ending at 186 on WI day! Amazing! I changed my eating habits .. but I know that I am not drinking enough water.. and I have to get to the gym!!! That is why I am not gaining... but also not losing! I did finally show a loss today... Yippppeeee!! I am down to 184! So I am back over that 25lb loss mark again!! Something about that gives me inspiration!


So... off to the gym tonight.. even in the snow.. Hey.. if I made it to work.. I can make it to the gym!!

I hope everyone is having a good day!!

Kathy

 

[boucheresq]

I totally understand the adolescent remarks, my dad and grandmother always said i had a big butt, even when I was anorexic/bulimic! You go girl - I like the style of your reports.