Karma? 14 yo boy's parties

[Mermaid02]

Yeah, sorry, I think it might have been karma. Kids aren't exempt from it.

This might end up being a learning experience for the kid AND his mother. They'll see which of the "cool" kids invited to the party end up sticking around now that the boy is no fun and hurt.

Yeah- see how many of those cool kids offer to help him carry his books and stuff to class.

 

[luvsJack]

I am not defending what the birthday boy did at all, but I certainly don't think "he got what he deserved" or that it was karma.

In a small amount of defense of the boy, fitting in is very hard at this age. And there is a certain amount of wanting to be accepted by the "cool kids" that goes on. Maybe the "cool kids" found out about his party and said they would attend because of where the party was going to be. He has been trying to fit in and so the un-invite. Doesn't excuse it, but might explain it just a little.

Maybe it will make him realize that he already fits in with a couple of "cool" kids--the op's son and the other boy who are sticking by him.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

DS (13) has had a friend the same age as him for the last 4 years who'd sit with him on the bus every day. Not the closest of buddies, but close enough ya know? They'd get together occasionally, play etc.

Last year the boy decided to have a birthday party at his house and invited a ton of the "cool kids" who were not his friends as well as my son, and another boy who is also his friend. My son couldn't make it as I was in town working and there was no way I'd let him bike the highway to get there. None of the cool kids showed up, just the one other friend. ... I felt so awful for not finding a way to get DS to the party, but there was nothing I could think of to do and I only found out later what happened.

This year, this same boy decided to have his party at an indoor bike and skateboard park. His mom rented out the place but told him he could only have a certain number of kids. DS, the friend who showed up last year, and some new friends the boy made were all invited. DS was so excited we took his bike down to the shop and got it tuned up. Then last Monday the boy informs DS, the other friend who went to his party last year and a few others that they are UNinvited becuase he wants to invite the "cool kids". DS was angry but held onto the slightest hope that he'd be re-invited along with the other boy.

No deal, didn't happen. The party was yesterday and the kids got updates from facebook posted from the party stating how "cool" it was and who was there. Well, half an hour into the party the birthday boy broke his leg landing wrong from a jump. Yup, the mom and her son spent the rest of the day off in the ER waiting, X-raying and getting the leg set.

Karma?

BTW - DS is horribly saddened to hear this happened to his friend and is willing to forgive and forget.

A. I do not believe in "karma". However I would say that the kid breaking his leg was probably a result of him trying to impress his "cool friends".

B. I would question why your son is willingly to "forgive and forget". I would hope that your son sees this kid for who he is...a nasty schmuck and ditch him for good.

 

[twinklebug]

if you asking if I think it's Karma that the boy broke his leg because he uninvited some kids to the B-day party, the answer is no - I don't think it's karma.
I had always thought that karma meant that you get back what you give in terms of energy. Example, people who are naturally positive will have positive things happen to them. People who are naturally negative will have negative things happen to them. In reality the two people could have the exact same thing happen to them, but the positive person see's the positive in a situation but the negative person see's the negative.
Now, in this case the birthday boy is sending out the energy that he would rather have the cool kids instead of his true friends at his party, so there fore his friendships are going to be superficial instead of the good solid dependable friends. That's what I believe karma is. The broken leg just means he's a klutz.

I like your definition of Karma, and of the accident.
Although the boy isn't so much of a klutz as just a kid who had never biked a ramp before.

DS just got off the phone with the boy. He has a cast that goes hip to foot and a wheelchair and crutches to go with it. DS wants to see if he can get his books and homework assignments and bring them to his house - sounds like he won't be in school for a bit.

Regarding DS learning from this, he's learned to be a stronger friend and hang in there when times get tough. Yes, it's possible he gets hurt again by the same boy, but it's equally as possible that the boy may have learned that DS is a friend that will be there when it matters.

 

[wilderness01]

I like your definition of Karma, and of the accident.
Although the boy isn't so much of a klutz as just a kid who had never biked a ramp before.

DS just got off the phone with the boy. He has a cast that goes hip to foot and a wheelchair and crutches to go with it. DS wants to see if he can get his books and homework assignments and bring them to his house - sounds like he won't be in school for a bit.

Regarding DS learning from this, he's learned to be a stronger friend and hang in there when times get tough. Yes, it's possible he gets hurt again by the same boy, but it's equally as possible that the boy may have learned that DS is a friend that will be there when it matters.

My kids are older, so maybe I am more jaded, but this is highly unlikely.

Your son is going to get hurt again unless you try to lead him to different kids that are worth his time. This other kid didn't deserve a broken leg, but he also doesn't deserve for your son to be so loyal. He showed your son who he was, now your son needs to believe him. Remember, actions speak louder than words.

 

[Jennasis]

Something about the OP's post just seems wrong. Reeks of smugness or something. I totally understand it...but not the particular view I'd be sharing with others. Think I'd keep this one to myself if I felt this way.

That said, sorry your kid got treated that way by the b-day boy.

 

[Hannathy]

My kids are older, so maybe I am more jaded, but this is highly unlikely.

Your son is going to get hurt again unless you try to lead him to different kids that are worth his time. This other kid didn't deserve a broken leg, but he also doesn't deserve for your son to be so loyal. He showed your son who he was, now your son needs to believe him. Remember, actions speak louder than words.

I have to agree with this also. I have an older DD who went thru this and believe me your son will be hurt again by this kid and the next time it may not be as simple as not being invited. Your son being loyal to this bully will not be appreciated nor rewarded. He will continue to use your son as long as it is beneficial to him and burn him as soon as it isn't.

I would get him away from him ASAP and get your son building better friends before he is in high school and it is hard to break into new groups.

 

[dodukes]

My kids are older, so maybe I am more jaded, but this is highly unlikely.

Your son is going to get hurt again unless you try to lead him to different kids that are worth his time. This other kid didn't deserve a broken leg, but he also doesn't deserve for your son to be so loyal. He showed your son who he was, now your son needs to believe him. Remember, actions speak louder than words.

this. tell your son to move on to better friends.

 

[luvmy3]

I agree. The kid got what he deserved. Things like this always amaze me that the parents let this bully/brat get away with doing what they did! They should be ashamed of themselves and of the son they raised, to condone actions like this.

Your son sounds like a very nice soul for worrying about the boy after what he did. BUT don't let your son totally forget what he did and let it become a pattern that he gets treated like dirt by his so called friends. Help him find kids that will be true friends not just when the "cool" kids won't hang with them.

The birthday kid may have been a jerk to the OP's ds and the some other kids but to think that he deserved physical injury for it is sick. I wonder what Karma has in store for you for thinking that

 

[MushyMushy]

The birthday kid may have been a jerk to the OP's ds and the some other kids but to think that he deserved physical injury for it is sick. I wonder what Karma has in store for you for thinking that

I personally don't believe that karma punishes us for thoughts. Only actions.

 

[luvmy3]

I personally don't believe that karma punishes us for thoughts. Only actions.

I disagree, Karma knows how you really are and will find you whether its your actions or thoughts that are ugly.

 

[MushyMushy]

I disagree, Karma knows how you really are and will find you whether its your actions or thoughts that are ugly.

I wonder if talking about karma counts as religious discussion. I love hearing other people's views on it.

 

[krcit]

Wow.

 

[Hannathy]

Geeze I meant it that it he didn't deserve to have a good time at the party not that I advocated hiring someone with a baseball bat to break his leg. sorta like when the greedy grabby kid who pushes everyone out of the way to get the biggest piece of cake and then drops it on his way back to the table and there is no more. I would think good for him he deserved it.

I still think it is karma or as my Mom used to tell me "the world turns"

And I can't emphasize enough to steer your son away from this boy.

 

[luvmy3]

I wonder if talking about karma counts as religious discussion. I love hearing other people's views on it.

I don't think of it as some supernatural power, I think of it as something you bring on yourself, a natural course of action because of who you are. If you are a not so nice person (to put it nicely ) then its only natural that some not so nice things will happen to you eventually.
In the case of the OP, the birthday boy may find himself the outsider of his new "cool" friends, he may find himself being treated the way he treated the OP's ds, and that would be Karma. I do not believe anyone deserves physical harm for being a jerk, especially a kid, and I really do think its horrible for someone, especially an adult to think that.

 

[Teacher03]

I think it is terrible what the boy did to the OP's son, but I don't think he "got what he deserved!" I'm not quite getting that and how it is karma.

OP, I agree with the others that it is time your son finds a new friend. He sounds like a great kid with a forgiving heart and deserves better.

 

[Jennasis]

I don't think of it as some supernatural power, I think of it as something you bring on yourself, a natural course of action because of who you are. If you are a not so nice person (to put it nicely ) then its only natural that some not so nice things will happen to you eventually.
In the case of the OP, the birthday boy may find himself the outsider of his new "cool" friends, he may find himself being treated the way he treated the OP's ds, and that would be Karma. I do not believe anyone deserves physical harm for being a jerk, especially a kid, and I really do think its horrible for someone, especially an adult to think that.

This. Karma would be if the "cool" kids stood him up for a second time and he was alone at his "cool kids only" party....NOT having his leg broken.

Sheesh.

 

[luvmy3]

Geeze I meant it that it he didn't deserve to have a good time at the party not that I advocated hiring someone with a baseball bat to break his leg. sorta like when the greedy grabby kid who pushes everyone out of the way to get the biggest piece of cake and then drops it on his way back to the table and there is no more. I would think good for him he deserved it.

I still think it is karma or as my Mom used to tell me "the world turns"

And I can't emphasize enough to steer your son away from this boy.

That wasn't exactly clear in your post.

 

[Hannathy]

would you prefer I say he deserved to have bad luck? because I do feel like that. If you are a nasty bully you deserve to have bad luck follow you.

 

[luvmy3]

would you prefer I say he deserved to have bad luck? because I do feel like that. If you are a nasty bully you deserve to have bad luck follow you.

I guess thats something you should ask Karma not me, I'm just some woman surfing the web