just saying.......

[pyrxtc]

Got an e-mail from my sister. She wants to bring our cousin's daughter who is 6. It will probably be her only chance to ever go to Disney or anywhere ever. We have only met her twice but I know she will enjoy it. Her grandparents have custody of her and she has already asked how old she has to be to move out on her own. I was already thinking of asking if she could come up here for a few weeks next summer. her parents are really messed up and should never have had kids. Her grandparents aren't any better. 3 of the 4 kids live wiht them, the oldest was signed over to her Aunt permanently. Grandparents have her younger sister (3) on so many meds for ADHD and Bi-Polar (which we know cannot be diagnosed that young) cuz it helps them get more money from the state for taking care of them. My parents went to visit recently and her sister sent my mother a pictures of her crying cuz she couldn't go home wiht my parents. She never left my mom's lap (4 yrs old) and ran after the car when they were leaving. It is so sad.

Her grandparents had 7 or 8 kids between them and only 2 still talk to them. The rest left the house as soon as they were old enough and never looked back. We never saw them again. Her mother is nice but is mentally impaired and her parents enver got any help for her. All the pregnancies were accidents and she hates kids. I even got to hold her oldest DD first when she was born cuz she didn't want anything to do with her.

I feel so bad for these kids. I'm going to go and visit them when we visit my sister in April and meet some of them for the first time.

So, anyways, I hope my Uncle lets her go. They are really PIA's and don't care if the kids have fun or not. Woohoo !! Now that makes it 16 or 17 for the December trip.

 

[dizneedoll]

That is a sad situation for that little girl. I really do hope she gets to go with you, what a wonderful time she will have! That's great that you are willing and able to take her along. Good Luck!

 

[Tink-aholic]

Hi NH neighbor! What a wonderful thing you are trying to do for the kids. Glad to see someone thinks about them and really cares.

Keep making the world a better place.

 

[pyrxtc]

It was my sisters idea to take her. She will pay for her airfare and park ticket. She lives a few hours from my sister in NC. I don't think my sister talks to my Aunt very often but somehting must have happened to make her think of her.

 

[brockash]

So... if they hate kids, is there any way that they'd let you adopt them? -Would you want to? That's just so sad. When I hear stories like that, it just makes me want to adopt them. My DH's family is kinda like that (probably not as bad, but I know his poor sister's kids are going to have a really hard life.) His older sister has a son that is now 10, and I'm sure will end up in juvenile detention. He has a horrible role model for a father- and the mom just married him (no idea why, he treats her like crap and teaches their son nothing but bad things.) His other sister has 2 kids, but 1 lives with his mom, so she seems to be doing okay. I'm sure she has and will have some emotional issues, because she was seperated from her brother, mom ect., but I think she's the best off. That same sister also has a 3 year old, and he's been shipped around to so many different ppl to live with, it's rediculous. He lived with her mom for a while, then the sister and boyfriend then just the sister in a different state (while she was dating a registered sex offender) and then the father and then the father's father and now honestly, I don't even know. My husband really doesn't talk much to his family, and I've only met him once when he was a baby, but his older sister and the mom were smoking around him, and never played with him ect. It's just so sad. I've seriously considered talking to my DH about what he thought about possibly asking his sister if we could adopt him, because she certainly doesn't act like she wants him, but I'm not sure what he would think of that, and I really don't think there's any way that the sister (and possibly father) would let us. She would completely take it as us saying she wasn't a good mom, which she isn't, and honestly I don't think she even wants to be a mom, but she's not the type to think of what's best for the child. I'm so sorry that there are so many children out there with homes like that. I really hope they let you take her. Good luck!

 

[tinkerlisa]

I hope she can go! Its so sad to think about neglected kids. They don't deserve to be treated like trash.
I have known people to abuse the state money they get for foster kids! Someone even said that is why they foster. So they don't have to work and they get paid from the state.
I also know people that should never have been parents. My friend was doing heavy drugs(crack) while pregnant with her son and when I found out I called the state. I hated doing it but I couldn't see her son being around that garbage. By the grace of God, that boy has nothing wrong with him! She ended up having him taken away and now his paternal grandparents have custody because his father doesn't want him.
I can never understand how someone could not want their own children. It is tough being a parent, but I could never say I don't want my boys.
My sister has 5 kids. 3 of them before she was 19. When she had her third, she realized that obviously its too much and gave her daughter to her sister that couldn't have kids of her own. At least she realized that she couldn't give her daughter the life she deserved and gave her to someone who could. I hope everything works out for your cousin! Just make sure you give her lots of love!!! Sorry this is so long....

 

[Fabinva]

What a sad situation, hope it all works out for the kids.

 

[pyrxtc]

well, her grandparents aren't mean. They just aren't .... I don't know how to put it. There is no games, no cuddles, no fun. They just do what they have to do to and that's all. My mother said it's still all about the no sniveling, and don't touch anything. They show more affection to their pets than they do to the kids. They were that way when I was growing up too and it ruined their kids. I don't want them to ruin their grandkids.

I would love to raise them. If asked, I would take them in a heartbeat. I don't know what my DH would say but I would take them. If she can come visit for a little while, I'm hoping that she'll get to stay for a while and she'll grow on my DH. Her mother and I were close growing up since she is only 1 yr older and lived 3 houses away.

Having not spent a lot of time wiht her, I want to get to know her. I'll get to meet her siblings when i go in April. I've never met them before. Depending on behavior, maybe we'll take them all for a couple of weeks. mY DH is only around for the weekends anyways so it won't touch him really. Just the extra food expense.

 

[bwatlas]

My DD friend, wow, what parents do to kids, I don't understand. I will try to keep short and just hit the highlights...
Mom and Dad got divorced, dad decided he didn't like kids, wanted to go to bars. Well, barfly he hooked up with became....... you guessed it! She's pregnant, so now he's bringing kid number 4 into world, after walking out on first 3. Has nothing to do with the two girls 12 and 15, just DS who is 3.
Mom can't even get child support from him, he can't seem to hold or find a job, so he is no help. Now mom, who works second shift and only sees the girls on weekends, parties on weekends. The girls have been going to friends, or 'nana's' house (dad's mom). There are weird rules, too. Girls are allotted when they can eat, like only two cups of milk per day, no more, while their little brother does what he wants and eats EVERYTHING (he's a BIG BOY! My 3yo nephew is only 1/2 the size!). Someone HAS to be awake at ALL TIMES in the house in case of a fire (no, they've never had one), so oldest daughter (my DD friend) has to stay up until mom gets home at 1 or 2 am, and then get herself and her sister up at 5am for school! Mom goes to bed then, and Gram comes over to watch little brother so someone is awake in the house.
Gram doesn't act like she likes herself, let alone any of her grandkids. I've me her many times. She will then stay so mom can sleep, for when little brother wakes up, and watch him until girls get home from school, after which, mom has gone to work.
Now, mom lost her job on the 'line' she was working on in the factory. She has to take a pay cut (I have no idea how much), and told her oldest daughter she now needs to get a job to help support the family, and her 12 yo sister is old enough to stay up and take care of little brother. IF 15yo doesn't get a job, she told them she's going to have to give the kids up, as she can't afford to 'keep them'.
I know times are tough, but I am a signle mom myself. I can't imagine telling my daughter she HAD to get a job because I can't afford her. We scrape by and do without a lot, but we make it. I'm also not out partying all the time and stopping at the bar every night on my way home from work, either. So, my DD came to me last night with this story, and tells me she has offered our house to her friend, just as I was saying that 'well if she can't afford her, she can come here and live', so you can see we think alike.
I don't even understand how you can raise two teenage girls, and not see them all week, either! Why would you not get a daytime job? Her mom has had the opportunit to take dayshift, and turns it down, as she says she "prefers to work nights". Then why not do third shift? Kids are home alone all the time anyway, right?
Well, thanks for letting me vent. They say there isn't a handbook out there to tell you how to be a parent, but there are people out there that I don't understand what in the world they're thinking in the first place?!?!