Just a PSA-get some life insurance/fill your kids in on your plans

[golfgal]

Just saying-get some life insurance and let someone know with whom/who the beneficiaries are and who to contact when needed. It will save your kids a LOT of headaches down the road....

 

[PatsMom]

It's a nice idea to have a list of your insurance policies and beneficiaries. You should also include a listing of all your accounts - bank, brokerage, etc. We had a client several years ago who was cleaning out her mom's house, more than a year after her mom's death. Probate had been closed, estate taxes filed (back then with the lower exemption amounts many more people had to file estate tax returns). Anyway, the daughter found literally a shoebox full of US savings bonds. She had no idea that they existed.

One of the best things you can do for your kids is have your affairs in order.

 

[onelilspark]

If you have older children though, don't do what my Mom did and tell me casually in a phone conversation that her & my Dad adjusted their will now that my brother's schooling is entirely paid for. You know...right before they go to Europe for vacation and I won't be able to reach them. Great timing Mom...

Honestly...glad she told me...just it was an awkward conversation "Oh, and just so you know, I've made you executor of our will." "Oh, well, good? Thanks?...Hope you don't die??" What do you say to that? It was just thrown out there like her and my Dad ran to Home Depot to pick up some paint, what do you think of a nice wine color on the walls? I'm sure it was her way of keeping things light an airy, but it was awkward and a little creepy.

Sorry, I think I veered off my point: basically, if you talk to your kids about that, make sure it's the right setting/mood. Especially if they're younger.

 

[golfgal]

If you have older children though, don't do what my Mom did and tell me casually in a phone conversation that her & my Dad adjusted their will now that my brother's schooling is entirely paid for. You know...right before they go to Europe for vacation and I won't be able to reach them. Great timing Mom...

Honestly...glad she told me...just it was an awkward conversation "Oh, and just so you know, I've made you executor of our will." "Oh, well, good? Thanks?...Hope you don't die??" What do you say to that? It was just thrown out there like her and my Dad ran to Home Depot to pick up some paint, what do you think of a nice wine color on the walls? I'm sure it was her way of keeping things light an airy, but it was awkward and a little creepy.

Sorry, I think I veered off my point: basically, if you talk to your kids about that, make sure it's the right setting/mood. Especially if they're younger.

Even having a will won't help if your beneficiaries on your life insurance policies don't match up to what the will says. If they never changed that, changing the will won't do them any good. As much as you don't want to talk about it, do it anyway because you will be thankful when the time comes you DO know the details.

 

[lovemygoofy]

Even having a will won't help if your beneficiaries on your life insurance policies don't match up to what the will says. If they never changed that, changing the will won't do them any good. As much as you don't want to talk about it, do it anyway because you will be thankful when the time comes you DO know the details.

Not just kids but also spouses and parents. I've seen some real interesting fights/arguments/yelling matches happen because parents were not clued into a soldier's deatils of burial and funeral. I've seen divorced parents and parents against spouses. Not a pretty thing when everyone is greiving and techinically only one person can sign on the dotted line for the arrangments.

 

[Disney Doll]

I have a binder in which I have recorded all the information I can think of that someone would need to "probate" our estate. Insurance info, who to call, bank info, who to call, investement info, who to call etc.

 

[golfgal]

I have a binder in which I have recorded all the information I can think of that someone would need to "probate" our estate. Insurance info, who to call, bank info, who to call, investement info, who to call etc.

Get a trust set up to avoid probate, just a tip too.

Oh, and make sure you are with a good insurance company that won't give you the run around on the phone for going on 2 weeks now!!! Every time I call they give me a different story--I just want to know IF there is a LIFE INSURANCE policy, that is all, thanks I will send you anything else, tell you anything else you want to know

 

[minkydog]

I second your thoughts. Parents, tell your (adult) children where your papers are! And keep them in order! when my father died it was a free for all. We had to search through literally every scrap of paper he owned. My mother took me to the closet not long ago, pointed to a shoe box and said,"Everything's in there, the funeral arrangements, the wills,etc. I hope ou don't mind that I made your sister executor?" Are you kidding? I'd rather shave my head than be your executor!

And be sure your beneficiaries are up to date. My step-father used to joke that when he died he was going to leave my mother a rich widow. Which might have come to pass if he had changed his beneficiary to MY MOTHER. Instead, one settlement went to his first wife($100,000!) and another went to the 2nd wife($40,000). Fortunately, the 2nd wife signed her settlement over to mother, but the other one kept hers. That was a bitter pill, believe me.

AS a side note--if you have a family member who is or will be on SSI, be sure you don't leave them assets worth more than $2000. If they inherit a sum of money Medicaid can make them spend down their assets. YOu need to set up a special needs trust to which you can leave an inheritance. We have a 14yo severely mentally handicapped son who will need constant care as long as he lives. He will go on SSI when he turns 18. He's on Medicaid now and we can't afford to lose that--there are a lot of programs that he is eligible for ONLY because he has Medicaid! If he were to inherit, he would lose all that until the assets were spent. We plan to leave his inheritance to his Special Needs Trust, which will dispense funds for the things he needs, like warm winter coat, dental work, summer camp, vacation trips, ice cream treats--you know, all the things that we would provide him if we were around.

 

[kendall]

Agreed. Cleaning up my Mother's estate after her unexpected death was a mess because I had no idea of the state of her affairs (she lived out of state and was a very private person when it came to these matters). Nothing like having to go through her checkbook, bill drawer, bank statements, credit card statements, wallets, and try to piece it all together, find the appropriate contact information, etc.

We too now have a binder with all the account names, numbers, passwords. In addition, I have a document with all my website usernames and passwords - that way my kids will be able to take care of my electronic presences as well. And, I found it easier to deal with some of my mom's accounts electronically than via phone or face-to-face. Things like frequent flyer miles were very easy to transfer electronically then close the account (thank you to the airline company that suggested that action).