Just a petty vent (long)

[Fishbone†]

Venting mostly because it might make me feel better.

A little background: My DH and I do A LOT of things together…. hunt, fish, play poker, etc. I know this is a source of jealousy for some of his friends as either they wish their wives did these things with them, or more often, just wish their wives supported their hobbies like I do his (mostly because we do them together). We’ve had only one incident where a guy from DH’s work wanted to go duck hunting with DH and when he found out we hunt together, he actually verbalized that he didn’t think he wanted to hunt with a women (had this whole gentleman’s hunting club idea in mind). DH didn’t give him any options, hunt with us, or don’t hunt with us –it was his choice, but DH wasn’t leaving me home. That said, DH definitely gets to go on “boys only trips”. I have no problem with this, as I know they are important too. The thing is, most often (except for some occasional trips his best friend), he doesn’t want to go without me…. He enjoys sharing the experiences with me.

Anyway, DH’s friend “Joe” used to hold a bi-weekly poker game at his house, and DH and I played every game. There were others that played every game, and a bunch that came sometimes and not others. Anyway, because “Joe’s” wife didn’t play and didn’t like the noise, hassle, etc, the game went away, and we haven’t played in over a year at his house. So now, Joe is having a poker party at his house tomorrow night and sent DH an email informing him of it and asking if he wanted in. The email just said “do you want to play”. DH assuming it meant both of us, because we always play together (and by the way, there were other wives / girlfriends and single women there in the past), said yes. Well, apparently there is maybe only room for one person. He’s got some maybes, and he’s trying to keep it to 10 people. So, I know I’m probably being sensitive, but I’m a little bummed about this…… not because I don’t get to play, because actually, DH’s email to me was “he said he has 1 seat for sure open but not sure about 2 and he'll know more tomorrow. I don't really want to go without you and leave you home alone on a Fri night.....I suppose we could go and you could play and I could just be all time dealer if he doesn't have a seat for me. We will see what he has to say about it tomorrow and we can go from there.”, but because I don’t know why he would even ask DH knowing we both play, and what difference would one more person make considering the circumstances? For one thing, don’t you think a “for sure” would take precedence over someone who couldn’t make up their mind the day before, and second, he knew we would both want to play, so what’s 11 people instead of 10?? His wife won’t be home, so it’s not her stipulation.

Anyway, mostly I just wanted to vent because I was pretty excited about the game, and this really put a damper on it. By the way, should there be only one seat, I will probably go with, but let DH play – because he enjoys it as much as I do.

You can return to your regularly scheduled DISsing now.

 

[worm761]

honestly, a lot of people just don't understand couples doing everything together. Boyfriend and I are like your husband and you. We do everything together. We enjoy each others company and we miss each other when one is not there. Once in a while he will go out with his friends alone (I don't go because I just don't like these people) but it never lasts for more than an hour or so and he is coming home to watch a movie we have already seen a million times with me.

I hope you two have fun no matter what happens.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I get the whole doing things together thing. DH and I do pretty much everything together, but seriously, he can't go play cards without you? Maybe the guy doesn't want to play with wives? Maybe none of the men do? I don't understand why you are so bummed. I would think that he can do things without you and vice versa right? Do you really need to have the exact same life as him? I'm not trying to be rude but I think you are being a bit over the top and the friend is trying nicely to let you know that no, he doesn't want to play with you.

 

[PrincessKitty1]

This sounds like it's going to be an all-guys game. I think DH should just ask "Joe" if this is the case. If so, I would recommend not pushing your way in. Let them all have their guy time. If not, then yes, I would wonder why in the world you are not invited.

I know if I was going to an all-girls thing, I would be aggravated if somebody's DH came along.

 

[Fishbone†]

I get the whole doing things together thing. DH and I do pretty much everything together, but seriously, he can't go play cards without you? Maybe the guy doesn't want to play with wives? Maybe none of the men do? I don't understand why you are so bummed. I would think that he can do things without you and vice versa right? Do you really need to have the exact same life as him? I'm not trying to be rude but I think you are being a bit over the top and the friend is trying nicely to let you know that no, he doesn't want to play with you.

He has every right to go play cards without me - for what it's worth, he doesn't want to. And it's not about playing with wives/women, as one of the invited attendees is his very attractive neighbor lady. It's not a men's only party. I don't need the exact same life as him - I don't even have the exact same life as him. He plays hockey two nights a week.... I don't skate, and I don't go with him. We both enjoy doing things together, and BOTH prefer it that way. DH is proud of our connection, and as you can see from his email to me (unsolicited by me as I had no idea there was only one seat left, and as I have not as of yet revealed my disappointment to him), he doesn't want to exclude me from what he does. I knew some of you would feel I was being over-sensitive, and that's cool (maybe I am), but I guess since DH and I were always invited together in the past, I was confused and disappointed in the exclusion this time.

 

[Disney Doll]

I'd let DH go and make plans to do something with a friend or stay home and do what I needed to do at home.

 

[C.Ann]

You've got a great DH there..

And congrats on the baby-to-be..

However it pans out, I'm sure your DH will put your feelings first..

 

[Mouse House Mama]

He has every right to go play cards without me - for what it's worth, he doesn't want to. And it's not about playing with wives/women, as one of the invited attendees is his very attractive neighbor lady. It's not a men's only party. I don't need the exact same life as him - I don't even have the exact same life as him. He plays hockey two nights a week.... I don't skate, and I don't go with him. We both enjoy doing things together, and BOTH prefer it that way. DH is proud of our connection, and as you can see from his email to me (unsolicited by me as I had no idea there was only one seat left, and as I have not as of yet revealed my disappointment to him), he doesn't want to exclude me from what he does. I knew some of you would feel I was being over-sensitive, and that's cool (maybe I am), but I guess since DH and I were always invited together in the past, I was confused and disappointed in the exclusion this time.

\\

I wasn't trying to be mean so please don't misunderstand me. My Dh would much rather be with us than anyone else. I feel the same way. It just seemed as if it was a men's only night. Since it isn't then I would be annoyed that I wasn't invited if I always was in the past.