Jungle Cruise - Jokes

[JKMJ441724]

I love, love, love the Jungle Cruise. I've told my kids so often that we are moving to Florida and I'm going to get a job as a Skipper.

Tell me, what are your favorite jokes?

I love all the jokes but my favorite has to be:

As you exit the boat, please watch your head and your step. But if you don't watch your step and hit your head, please watch your language. This is a family attraction.

 

[Robo]

I hope you enjoyed your trip on the world-famous Jungle Cruise today, folks!

I know I did.

In fact I liked it so much that I'm going to go around on it again...
and again...
and again...
and again...

for the rest of my life.



(Stay in school, kids.)

 

[wookiebeck]

I have a favorite. Don't know why it is my fav, but it just is. I have not had the pleasure of hearing it in our three most recent trips, though. It must be at least 7 years without it and counting.

It is one where the giant rain-forest butterflies wingspan can range from 12 inches all the way up to one foot!

 

[Ds4angels]

I like the "backside of water"
When we were pulling away from the dock the other cast members called out Go Faster, which you have to have seen The Great Outdoors to get that joke. (a family favorite)

 

[DisneyRegulars]

I have a favorite. Don't know why it is my fav, but it just is. I have not had the pleasure of hearing it in our three most recent trips, though. It must be at least 7 years without it and counting.

It is one where the giant rain-forest butterflies wingspan can range from 12 inches all the way up to one foot!

They definitely said this one when we were there in January.

My favorite is the 'backside of water' joke.

 

[LaurenT]

I hope you enjoyed your trip on the world-famous Jungle Cruise today, folks!

I know I did.

In fact I liked it so much that I'm going to go around on it again...
and again...
and again...
and again...

for the rest of my life.

(Stay in school, kids.)

This one is my all time favorite!
I also love this one:
Since we are in an area filled with rare tropical foliage, I'd like to take a moment to point out some of the plants to you. There's one, there's one... [Point left, point rear left, point right, etc]
See that bamboo over there? It grows to be 6 stories tall, some people say it can grow to 7 stories but that's a whole other story

 

[loriandmatt]

"watch out for Ginger. She snaps."

 

[labdogs42]

I have so many favorites, it is so hard to choose. Someone already took the favorite plants one. Love that. Next would have to be the elephant bathing pool being ok because they are wearing their trunks.

 

[CarolineB]

For me it's not just the jokes that I love by my DS9 reaction -- priceless. A few people also commented how much fun they enjoyed watching his reactions too.

 

[Suellen]

OMG... I think my favorite now is the one where they state they have trained the elephants to do tricks and then then says "SPEAK" and the elephant makes and elephant noise. Stupid but a few trips back my 5 year old asked the skipper what the elephant said and she repeated the elephant noise and then started to laugh. She laughed so much I couldn't stop laughing and that was it for the entire rest of the boat ride. Every time one of us would compose ourselves the other would start laughing again and it degenerated into the two of us laughing the ENTIRE rest of the trip. I felt bad for the people on the boat with us but is was hilarious to us for some strange reason.

 

[World Showcaser]

Great thread! I love JC too. I like the one Robo mentioned about going around and around and around again...for the rest of my life...stay in school, kids.

 

[wiigirl]

"watch out for Ginger. She snaps."

 

[JKMJ441724]

I also like

Now we are entering the most dangerous part of our trip - the return to civilization. You will notice a dock up ahead on the right and a dock ahead on the left. We call this a pair-a-docks (paradox). You will also notice a couple of guys standing on the right dock. Yeah, that's a pair-a-dorks.

 

[amberpi]

I like the partat the end with trader Sam where they say "no matter how you slice it or dice it you always come out ahead" in regards to being the head salesman and he'll trade you heads

 

[ZephyrHawk]

Skipper indicates that he will frighten off the "attacking" hippos with his gun. Skipper runs over to the side of the boat, brandishes his gun and shouts, "I have a pistol!"

 

[o0junebug0o]

I can't remember whether it's the hippos or the crocodiles, but when we approach, I love when the skipper says "Don't worry folks, I've got a gun! Shoo-shoo!" and just waves the guns at the animals! Kills me every time!!

 

[atomicgirl]

Now we are entering the most dangerous part of our trip - the return to civilization. You will notice a dock up ahead on the right and a dock ahead on the left. We call this a pair-a-docks (paradox). You will also notice a couple of guys standing on the right dock. Yeah, that's a pair-a-dorks.

this is one of my favorites!!

I also love the ones about Trader Sam.... invited to dinner at his house, but got there late, so all I got was a cold shoulder and some finger food.

 

[DZNEE4US]

"Why doesn't anyone want to play with Tigger? Because Tigger plays with Pooh."

 

[sharadoc]

This thread should be labeled "Spoiler Alert - don't read if you've never ridden Jungle Cruise". The joy of these jokes is the affect the first time you hear them.

I've ridden it dozens of times, so I'm loving this thread. Keep 'em coming.

 

[DisneyHardin]

My favorite is when you go into the dark tunnel and they say something about not knowing what is ahead and then say it's Disney, so it's probably a gift shop.