Judge me!

[HuntersPride]

I don't know you, but based on your question no one can say you are bad parents. It's good that you asked and I am glad you decided not to give it to her.
I have made two 8 our flights with my now 18 months old, she was 11 and 15 months on the flights. If possible ask the airline to give you center seats in the emergency exit row (you are not allowed to sit near the door of course but if there is a center row you can sit there). There is more room and they are able to place a basinet for her to play in. Or if the flight is not bumpy she can sit on the floor and play. Also I noticed that on long flights the people on the plane really try to help out the parents to make sure none of the other passengers are troubled by the kids either So even though we didn't book a chair they made sure we did get one. I hope this will happen to you too! Good luck!

 

[Mom2six]

OP, if you have given your baby Benadryl before you may already know if it makes her tired or hyper. Talk to your DR about your concerns. My pediatrician had me try Benadryl for my son when he was just over one for sleeping - it made him hyper so he did not sleep more then a couple of hours in a row until he was four. Your pediatrician may be able to recommend some options.

I do not see why your daughter needs to be on your lap the whole time? Your four year old probably only takes up half a seats width and your one year old can spend lots of time sitting by her.

Sure flying alone with two little ones will be difficult but I bet most of us parents are used to taking care if our kids alone at least part of the time and on errands etc. even if holdin the baby was exhausting and hard if that is the worst day of your life, you have an awesome life!

There have been many days that I stayed up all night rocking my son because he could not sleep. I am sure that you hold your daughter for many hours a day. Let her sit in the seat some. Have fun toys and electronics - you will be fine. Get her up early and run her around like crazy.

Have a fantastic trip.

 

[maxiesmom]

Here is my question: Is it considered ok to have 2 small children share a seat belt, or is it frowned upon? Otherwise if there is any kind of turbulence, and they tell people they need to remain seated, the OP will have to hold her child.

 

[Snickals]

If the flight is not full you could always ask at the gate desk if you can have a spare seat next to you. All the trips we have been on with Baby Girl she was a 'lap child' but I always asked and majority (not all) of the time they were very accommodating. It was nice to sit her down off us or even give her a little space to lay if she fell asleep.

 

[Nancyg56]

A 1 year old with a seat has options. A 1 year old in a lap does not. That's the difference. And since most people would use a carseat with the 1 year old, the 1 year old is in something she's used to and (hopefully) is comfy for her.

Especially in such a long flight. Babies are used to falling asleep in the carseat, so it might be the difference between a grumpy cranky baby and a sleeping one.

I don't know you, but based on your question no one can say you are bad parents. It's good that you asked and I am glad you decided not to give it to her.
I have made two 8 our flights with my now 18 months old, she was 11 and 15 months on the flights. If possible ask the airline to give you center seats in the emergency exit row (you are not allowed to sit near the door of course but if there is a center row you can sit there). There is more room and they are able to place a basinet for her to play in. Or if the flight is not bumpy she can sit on the floor and play. Also I noticed that on long flights the people on the plane really try to help out the parents to make sure none of the other passengers are troubled by the kids either So even though we didn't book a chair they made sure we did get one. I hope this will happen to you too! Good luck!

I did not know that babies could sit in the exit row. My Mom was asked to move, she was not allowed there. I am not sure about how I feel bout babies on the floor. As I said before, I am not one who gets upset when babies are babies, but I would not count on passengers being open to children on te floor by their feet.

 

[maxiesmom]

I have to say that all of this talk about babies unrestrained on the seats or on the floor makes me shudder. Especially when a few days ago a flight by Detroit had to suddenly dive to avoid another plane, throwing the unrestrained up against the ceiling of the aircraft.

Think about it.

 

[Nancyg56]

I have to say that all of this talk about babies unrestrained on the seats or on the floor makes me shudder. Especially when a few days ago a flight by Detroit had to suddenly dive to avoid another plane, throwing the unrestrained up against the ceiling of the aircraft.

Think about it.

I know that it would not work for me. My DGD was in her car seat until she was big enough to have her own seat without it. My DD would not allow her to fly any other way.

 

[tbia]

I use a flight attendent if I need to pee. That's about it. And every flight I've been on with my kids 23 round trips with two legs each = 92! They have told me during the security briefing that if I need to pee to call them. My friend the flight attendent said to me that it was her favourite part if the job :holding babies while mommies did a quick bathroom trip. If I have to, I'll take my daughter with me . I am perfectly capable to handle it. I'm going to have a great trip.

My question was all about the benedryl. Thank you for leading me in the right direction, and thanks to everyone else who was NICE and gave me some excellent tips

I have a comment about this post, but I am gonna give it a little bit longer before I open another can of worms.

 

[robinb]

If possible ask the airline to give you center seats in the emergency exit row (you are not allowed to sit near the door of course but if there is a center row you can sit there).

Babies cannot be in the emergency exit row. People who sit in an emergency row must be able and willing to help in an emergency. Babies and small children do not fit that category. In general, you must be 15-years old to sit in an exit row.

 

[maxiesmom]

Babies cannot be in the emergency exit row. People who sit in an emergency row must be able and willing to help in an emergency. Babies and small children do not fit that category. In general, you must be 15-years old to sit in an exit row.

I'm wondering if that poster means a large aircraft that has the 3 separate seating areas--left side, middle, and right side of the plane. Such as an Airbus 330.

 

[robinb]

I'm wondering if that poster means a large aircraft that has the 3 separate seating areas--left side, middle, and right side of the plane. Such as an Airbus 330.

Could be, but I would think there would still be restrictions on those inside middle seats.

 

[MinnieMe129]

If the flight is not full you could always ask at the gate desk if you can have a spare seat next to you. All the trips we have been on with Baby Girl she was a 'lap child' but I always asked and majority (not all) of the time they were very accommodating. It was nice to sit her down off us or even give her a little space to lay if she fell asleep.

I admit, I haven't read the entire thread...but I was going to suggest this.

My daughter is 2 and a half and has been on 19 round trip flights so far.

When she was a "lap baby", I would try and find later flights during the week. They tended to be less full, and I could usually find empty seats. The flight attendants never minded (sometimes suggested it for me), they just require the baby be in the lap during take off and landing. I also found these flights to be full of business MEN, who for whatever reason always seem more helpful and less annoyed if she did fuss (maybe they miss their own children??).

I also try and schedule the flights during sleep time (nap or bedtime), skip her nap, which can be awful, but she will be so tired she will just sleep on her own once we take off. While we sit on the runway, I feed her a ton and whatever she wants (McDonalds fries! Now you can judge me!) so her belly is nice and full and will make her sleepy. Also, give milk (dd doesn't get milk during the day at home, but she does on flights!), because that too makes her feel sleepy.

Hope this helps! Good luck!

 

[tarak]

OP, I'm just going to wish you luck. I had to fly to California for a family emergency (still there, flying back tomorrow night on a red eye). I took my youngest because she's still nursing. Because the flights were the bookends to a holiday (July 4th), the total was horrifically expensive. There was no way I could afford two tickets. The flight here, we had two blowouts. The spare outfit got binned when I arrived at SFO and bought a "welcome to San Francisco" onesie. She squirmed some, but I managed to avoid having her kick or grab at the seat in front of her. She cried only once and for less than a minute. But it was not easy on my nerves, that's for sure. I'm hoping she'll sleep during the red eye home.

 

[kmb584]

I know that I should be surprised at the amount of hostility in this thread but not surprisingly I'm not.

The OP came here to ask opinions on giving her 1-year-old a dose of Benadryl prior to their flight. While she did receive opinions on that, she also received a boat load of unwanted ones about her youngest traveling as a lap child. She was told by numerous people that if she can't afford a seat for said child she can't afford the trip. Some told her to cancel, others interjected that the grandparents should visit her. I believe the entire purpose of this vacation is to go to DL.

From 3 months until 2 years, my daughter traveled on 26 round trip flights and all of them were as a lap child. I didn't purchase her a seat due to finances but rather because it made traveling in general easier. I'm a single parent and it was physically impossible for me to carry my daughter and her diaper bag while juggling a car seat, stroller, carry-on bags and luggage. She traveled just fine on my lap and more often than not spent more than 3/4 of flights sleeping. When she was getting antsy, I'd take her for a walk to the bathroom. We'd color, play games, watch a movie. Whatever kept her occupied with fine by me. To the OP: The flights aren't going to be easy but you'll manage. Don't stress out about it as little ones pick up on our emotions very easily. Go in calm and have a fantastic vacation!

 

[Freesia123]

Thanks! It's going to be great!

 

[scbelleatheart]

I judge you to be a bad parent. There.

Sometimes you have no choice to make long exhausting trips with small children. So, bad parent is not in the mix. My Dear Mother had to drive from San Diego to Baltimore shortly after she got her license. She spent 3 months teaching a 2 year old boy to pee in a little jug. Made it over the Rockies, all the way to Baltimore by herself with 2 toddlers.
So davedmaine, do NOT judge until you have been there and done that! Sometimes us military families must do what we have to do but then again, our husbands and sons keep you safe.

 

[Freesia123]

Ill just give my last comment here.

Life is full of risks. Everyday we are faced with them. Should I help my child climb the monkey bars or is he ready to do it on his own? Can I trust other parents to let my child play at their house? Am I ok to drive after having a beer?

Am I taking a risk by travelling with two littles on my own? Yes. Could it backfire on me? Yes. Could they get hurt? yes. Could i live with myself? yes. the risk is ok with me. It is legal. thousands of patents make the same choice everyday.

In a perfect world, I wouldn't be doing it. In a perfect world their grandparents would come here. In a perfect world brain cancer wouldn't inhibit travel for the ones we love.

I am taking risks, just like I do everyday. The risks is acceptable to me and to most other people. If its not something that you are comfortable with, that's fine. We all are different, and some things you do I might not approve of either.



Everyone who replied had the best interest of my daughter at heart, no matter if i agree or not with their opinions. It is a wonderful feeling to know that so many people care for the welfare and happiness for a little girl they don't know. Thank you for giving me that extra bit of pixie dust for the beginning of my trip.

Ill update next week to let you know how it went. The good and the bad!

 

[frisbeego]

The OP titled the thread “Judge me!” -- with an exclamation point! The first sentence of the thread says, “I am open to judgment people, good or bad.” And the OP has confirmed in the thread that judging is OK.

Let’s assume that the OP has “no choice” but to take a long distance trip to visit the parents. The OP and parents chose to meet at DL. All of the additional costs associated with visiting Disney (tickets for sure and possibly hotel) were chosen over a separate seat for the lap child. The issue then is not one of having “no choice” but rather one of prioritizing visiting DL over following a pediatricians’ recommendation.

Also, it’s completely irrelevant how many times posters in this thread have traveled with a lap child with no incident. From a statistical perspective, it’s not a significant sample size. Beyond that, it doesn’t dispute that there is a risk. Pediatricians recommend against that risk. Some of our grandparents, parents and maybe even some of us have traveled in across country as children in cars without car seats, much less seatbelts. They may have survived, but that doesn’t mean there wasn’t a risk. I bet that the posters here would discourage a parent from traveling in a car without the appropriate car seat for a child, not just because it’s against the law, but also because there’s a risk of serious injury to the child.

What’s fascinating is that some posters are tripping over themselves to justify traveling with a lap child while simultaneously discouraging Benadryl (and, oh yeah, judging other parents who do use Benadryl for non-medical reasons). No one has disputed that there is a significant risk of injury to a child in both and that pediatricians recommend against both. No poster in this thread has explained why it’s acceptable to ignore pediatricians’ recommendation against lap children.

Finally, the notion that the OP asked only about Benadryl and that other comments about the proposed trip are inappropriate is weak. The OP has over 500 posts on the DIS boards alone. The OP knows (or should know) that threads go on tangents. Beyond that, the OP engaged the tangents. The OP could have ignored them or simply stopped posting after coming to the conclusion that Benadryl wasn’t right for the OP’s child. But the OP responded and, in my uninformed opinion, relished in responding. (Come on, OP! You knew the comment about handing your child to a flight attendant was going to spark a flurry of posts!)

It’s ironic (or maybe it isn’t – I’m not an English major) that the don’t-judge-the-OP crowd is judging the other posters and other parents.

The OP seemingly knows the risks and is prioritizing DL over a separate seat for the lap child. That’s what parents do; they make decisions on behalf of their children. No parent – not the “judgers” or the don’t-judge-the-OP-ers – follows every pediatricians’ recommendation. And that’s OK.

 

[tlwfun89]

Not sure if you bought your tickets yet but I recall being in a similar situation and we opted for amtrak as kids go 50 percent off, if they still offer this deal.The seats are wider and even lay back

 

[Angel Ariel]

Not sure if you bought your tickets yet but I recall being in a similar situation and we opted for amtrak as kids go 50 percent off, if they still offer this deal.The seats are wider and even lay back

If it is a 7 hr flight, it would be much longer (I would imagine) by Amtrak. I wouldn't want to be on a train for likely well over 10 hrs with children the op's kids' ages