Journey back to ME!!- I'm getting bugged!!

[toystoryduo]

Julie,

I am so sorry for all that you are going through. Any chance you have a spa nearby that you could go to for a day? You sound like you could use a day by yourself, getting pampered.

I hope that things work out for everyone in your family soon. You certainly have a full plate, but you are doing a great job holding everything together. You are a strong woman, Julie! I pray that everything works out and soon.

I hope you have a good weekend! Take care!

 

[Blueeyes101817]

im so sorry for everything that you are g oing through lately..i hope you have time this weekend to just relax and do something for yourself! hang in there and have a great weekend!

 

[goldcupmom]

Well, another day not as planned.

DD came home from school needing music for 'performance friday' and to sing for a fundraiser. So, out comes way too many piles of sheet music/music books. Just what I need, more clutter. Just get started on that & DS17 gets home. His new hi performance brakes for his cycle come & he disassembles the bike on the front porch sidewalk. Then of course, we have to go buy a tool he can't find, it's getting dark, it starts to drizzle(and you DON'T want moisture in a brake line), and then I have to stand out there & help him.(while DH watches TV).

DH decided against the chiropractor after researching his back on the net. Realized that gee, what the Dr. & I've been telling him is the truth. Chiro can't fix it, can only maybe help the pain. Time &/or surgery is the only thing that will really take care of it. he goes back to Dr. on 9/12

DD has her MRI on 9/11 sees the knee specialist on 9/22. She starts PT on 9/12 going t/th for 4 weeks. After 3.5 HOURS on the phone w/ lab & insurance company we finally figured out that if we go to RAA(mri facility) that is about a mile from my house, but the office building they are in is owned by Pres. hospital, I pay $100 deductible + 20% of the cost of the MRI. If I go to RAA in their own building across town, I pay NOTHING!! Same company, same doctors, different address....go figure. I will go across town with her!! All that, plus school, fencing, and the HS fencing league, Sept is going to be a busy DD month!!

I really need to get a lot of Ebay done, but I'm just not finding the hours in a day. I've got to get on that, plus get into the exercise routine again. It's too easy to let it slide.

But, for now, it's almost 10 and I'm going to bed. I've got a kajillion errands to run tomorrow, Ebay, house, bills, etc, but I'm going to get some sleep tonight....hopefully! This weekend is FreedomFest at our amusement park w/ 10 Christian bands in 3 days. DD of a cousin is coming down to go w/ DD on Sun/Mon. DS17 is going Monday after work to see Thousand foot Crutch. Me, I'm staying out of the heat(or at least sun - it's only to be 75) & getting stuff done here!! I HOPE!!!!!!!!

 

[traceycooper]

Oh dear Julie, life is just too hectic for you right now!
Please try to take it easy, if only for half an hour out of your day!
Sending lots of and to help your day

 

[CJK]

I honestly don't know how you do it all. I know things are terribly busy right now, but please be sure to take care of yourself. The rest will come. I hope you can have a little fun this weekend too. You deserve it!!!

 

[goldcupmom]

Thanks for the encouragement everyone! My life is never dull, that's for sure!!

DS20 never made it home last night & still isn't home. Not quite sure where he is. sigh.......

Up at 5:30, 2 lunches made, 2 breakfasts made, 3 dogs out, laundry started, dishes unloaded, did 7 min abs dvd, ended auctions, read DIS, read email, showered & left home by 8. Returned to Sam's, then to Chick Fil A to give DS17 a gas card so he can fill his tank, lots of cf diet coke & breakfast while making grocery lists. Then Ross to return, Target, WalMart, Albertson's & Dollar Tree & a quick stop at Subway for a wrap before home, unloading & taking care of stuff, then off to pick DD up at school. (Are you tired yet?? I am!!) In Sam's I did 30 min just fast laps, then did 30 more at the mall after CFA while waiting for stores to open, and another outside at home.

DD is going to a HS Football game tonight w/ a bunch of girls. DH couldn't understand why. DUH!!! She's a freshman & they're going to check out guys!!!! It's within sight of our house, so I may walk over to get her rather than fight traffic. She has a ride there.

DH will be plugged into the TV. DS17 & friends are going to play Hide & Seek in a park(cheap entertainment for HS/College kids) I'm hoping for a bath, book & finishing ebay. Maybe a short walk w/ the pups.

I have 4 pts left, + AP/FP, but not sure if I"ll use any - maybe some ff ice cream w/ berries.

Food Journal 9/1 -

3 chicken minis(6)
subway wrap(4)
chocolate laffy taffy(1)
ff cottage cheese(2)
light chips(3)
mrs freshleys oatmeal pie(2)

64 oz cf diet coke, 34 oz water

7 min abs DVD, 90 min walking.

Have an AWESOME Holiday weekend, all!!

 

[CACruisin']

WTG working some exercise into your super busy schedule. I need to take a page from your book and squeeze in the exercise where ever I can.

I hope you got to read your book and take a bath. That sounds like a lovely luxury.

Have a great weekend.

 

[SunFloridaDisney]

Hi Julie,

You never get a break from BUSY do you? Sounds like my house!!!

Good job on working the exercise in when you can.

Hope you have a fun and relaxing weekend!!

 

[toystoryduo]

Way to go squeezing some exercise in during your busy day! I hope you have a chance to relax this weekend. Take care Julie!

 

[goldcupmom]

Well, I got my bath in, but then felt the compelling push to enter DS20 room to pick up some trash. I really wasn't searching, but on the floor were 3 pages both sides in his writing. I looked. It was basically a journal of his life from the moment he moved out 1/05 to sometime fairly recent. The lifestyle it talked of(which I knew in part) was horrid - s*x, drugs, alcohol, selling, etc. Needless to say I didn't get much sleep last night. At 20 you can't make them get help. I read it as he is very depressed and almost a cry for help, but not wanting to ask or accept it. Given other facts I know, I truly believe that God has been protecting him from himself. If only I could pray him back to a real life. As a mother, I'd gladly change places with him. Not sure where to go from here. When he ever comes home, we need to talk, if he can without lying or the intense anger. I know it all, why lie about it???

On to more positive things..... life must go on. Went to bed at 11:30, up at 3 & still up when I had to get DS17 up for work at 5 & drive him at 6. I drove past where DS20 supposedly was and his car at least is really there.

DD got caught in lots of rain last night at the FB game. A front moved in and it really feels like fall this morning. Almost chilly (but at 46, chilly doesn't happen ) I"m getting her up soon to help pick up as the DD of a cousin is coming later to stay til Monday sometime. They're going to Freedom Fest(Christian concerts at amusement park) Sun/Mon. DD has 2 fencing events - 12 & 3 and a BBq in between today. Not sure which of us is taking her, but 1 of us needs to pick DS17 up at work at 2:30 as it is supposed to rain again. I'm just not comfortable with him riding the cycle in the rain or on wet pavement if he doesn't have to. He got caught in the storms last night, too, and all was ok riding, but why take the chance.

I'm not sure what else today will bring. Hopefully no more disturbing revelations! One thing is for sure, I need to go buy a coffeemaker or see if DH can fix the switch in mine. It wouldn't turn on this morning. UGH!!! I need it even if it is decaf!!

Hope everyone is having a good, SAFE, weekend!!

 

[Lesli54]

Sorry to hear that you are sleeping well. I am praying for you that you will be able to get some sort of help for your DS to help him get things turned around. Yet, at the same time, I do know that it is hard to get someone that age the help they need if they don't want it. It may come down to tough love and I pray for you there as well.

Hang in there and keep sneaking in those "me" times, like last night's bath. They will really help you keep the stress level down.

Take care and I hope the weekend gets better.

 

[CJK]

I'm so sorry to hear about your ds. I also wonder if it's a cry for help. He is at that age that is difficult to help if he's not open to receiving it. Opening the line of communication may be the way to go. Sending you lots of positive thoughts.

Hope you get that coffeemaker fixed, or buy a new one fast. Gotta get that caffeine fix!! I hope the rest of your weekend goes well for you. Take care of yourself.

 

[CACruisin']

Lots of positive thoughts that things will turn around for you and your family and all you are dealing with right now.

 

[goldcupmom]

Thanks for all your support, guys! It REALLY means a lot to me to be able to sit at the computer and 'see a friendly face'!

Yesterday was NOT an OP day....Surprise, Surprise, Surprise. Oh well..... I did get in a good 30 min walk while waiting for fencing to start, so that's something. Between TOM not wanting to appear but PMS taking up permanent residence, and DS20, it's not a big surprise.

Fencing went ok. DD personally didn't do as well as she would have liked, but the girls HS team won(all 3 of them!). Boys lost by 1 touch. I did the morning part taking DD to the 1 touch tournament, then left to pick DS17 up at work. Had only a hot dog at the picnic & my diet tea. It was later the chocolate attacked!!

DS20 appeared for a few hours during the day, then disappeared again last night. Wonderful!!!! It's really a bit more frightening as my DH oldest sister became an alcoholic(and used drugs) in her early 20's (after finding her DH in her bed w/ her best friend) - died in early 50's and had been wheelchair bound but still being pushed into a bar to spend her days by her 3rd DH. And DH brother and another sister are on antidepressants, so it is apparently genetic. I don't want to go down that road.

I did get a chance to talk w/ DS20 for a bit yesterday. He insists he is fine and not using drugs (but wishes he was 'cuz they're so wonderful in small quantities - GRRRRRR!!!!!!). I'd say a pretty typical, expected response. All I can hope & pray for is that he somehow gets a job & turns around. A decent girl would do wonders, too, as all this apparently started over the restraining order issue/girl.

I did at least get a bit more sleep last night, but still very tired. DD & the cousin are going to Freedom Fest most of the day. I'm planning on taking a walk to the grocery/coffee place this morning - it's only 58 out & cloudy, so a good morning for it. Then to late church. Other than that my house is a wreck & I still haven't finished Ebay pictures.

More later & I'll visit some journals.

thanks for being there......

 

[Lesli54]

At least you were able to get a bit more sleep. I seen the addiction road in my family and it's no fun. Hang in there Julie. I am praying for you.

 

[CJK]

Continued hugs coming your way.

I'm glad to hear you've gotten more sleep. Opening the lines of communication with your son is a good start. I hope your week goes well!

 

[toystoryduo]

Julie,

I am keeping you and your family in my prayers. During this stressful time, please be sure and do something special for you. Remember, we are here for you, Julie.

 

[traceycooper]

Hi Julie,
sorry your having such a rough time at the moment, you are in my thoughts
Hope you are sleeping better now.

 

[deelam]

You really are being pulled in every direction. I understand the heartache you must be going through with DS20. Just hang in there and pray he sees the light and gets on track.

 

[goldcupmom]

I need more hours in my Days & Weeks!!!

Sunday didn't go as planned either. I got up & did a 5 mile walk pushing the pups, got donuts, newspaper & coffee on the way back. Then the girls decided they wanted to shop instead of the concerts. We shopped for SEVEN hours non-stop. Needless to say after my 5 miles my legs were tired! Good for me, though.

Monday they went to the concert, I ran errands & worked around the house. DS17 worked, DH watched TV. DS20 hasn't been around much.

Made myself go to WW WI today. I have missed the last 2 & knew I was UP. I figured about 5 -6, but only 3.2, so I was actually fairly pleased. I walked both ways as I knew there would be no other time for exercise today.
bought the new monthly pass which makes meetings only $9.xx. Easier that way even if I don't go I have to pay anyway, this way it's automatic. Plus you get Etools access which I want to find time to look at.

DD is home sick w/ sinus crud. DS17 had the day off. Had to take DS20 to the dentist. The tech/hygienist comes out to ask if he still has ins as last time he told them he didn't. Then she proceeds to tell me he looks good, has gained weight and she's happy he's off the meth now. Fortunately, I didn't bat an eye, but I'm amazed he actually told them. Unfortunately, his life has not been good for his teeth and he needs 6 fillings. Could be much worse. Still no job. He isn't even looking. He wanted cigarettes so I told him he needed to do some of the jobs on my list to earn the money. He chose to begin painting my bathroom. Part of 2 walls, then left with a friend to help him do some spraying job. So, my bathroom is a shambles. If he doesn't show up soon to work on it I'm gonna be furious(or should I say moreso than usual).

Next week is Dr. week for DD, DH & Dentist for me so going to be hectic. What else is new???

DS17 has decided he's waited 5+ years for DH to get around to putting in our larger stone patio out back and he's just going to do it. He's been cutting grass/weeds, pulling up bricks/edging & working on levelling all day. He's determined to get it done quickly. DH isn't happy, but if DS17 is willing, I'll write the checks - he's certainly able. Should I spend the money right now - probably not, but if I don't DH will end up spending it on DS20(who now has another collector after him for almost $900 for his old cell phone - which DH wants to pay).

Time to run & get some Ebay done. It's a real struggle at this point, but I have so much, I must. Eventually I'll get to journals - I'm not ignoring you!! Thanks for all your thoughts & prayers!!