Journey back to ME!!- I'm getting bugged!!

[goldcupmom]

Back from Dr. with DH. This Dr. really seemed to know his stuff, but at the NM Spine Center, one would hope so!!

He walked in, looked at DH & his symptoms, rattled off which disc he has herniated or ruptured, told him since it's only been 10 days he was "stupid" if he chose surgery. Told us he would do an MRI or Xray if we wanted, but that it will show the same thing so why spend the money. Told DH he needs an epidural of novacaine & cortisone, then physical Therapy. If on 9/12 when he goes back there isn't significant improvement, surgery is probably the only real option. The worst is that he explained to us that the numbness may well be permanent. That, and DH's DSis telling him the horror stories of when her DH had an epidural for his back.

Today DH was starting to have waves of rash coming & going from the painkillers. the Dr. gave him a different drug but told him "It makes you Stupid" so if he doesn't like how stupid it makes him to not take it. DH has decided he will stay home on Thursday & try it then to see if there are any side effects.


Yes, Jane, I don't really understand this generation. DH insists that 'kids' this age don't go hang out & stay at each other's 'places' overnight, but from those I talk to, at least here, it's the norm. REALLY different. These kids are gonna drive us all nuts!!

I've been OP today & had my Revival Bar for lunch - 5 pts, but lots of protein, so it lasts a while. Dinner was lf noodles & chicken.

I was planning on the gym tomorrow, but since DH will be home on Thurs & I can't do tapes when he's home, I'll do WATP tomorrow & gym on Thurs. No matter what, I WILL exercise!!

More later... Have a good evening, all!!

 

[toystoryduo]

Hi Julie,

I hope the meds work for your DH and that he won't need surgery. Is he still in excrutiating pain? My friend had back surgery a couple of years ago and she said it helped immediately, but she was worried for months she would re-injure her back. Sending lots of healing for your DH!

Way to go to you for being OP today! Keep up the good work!

Hope you have a great Wednesday!

 

[pearlieq]

Just catching up here. It's been a while!

I'm sorry to hear of your DH's woes, but I'm glad things seem to be going well for you.

I can tell you're putting a lot of effort into being OP and taking care of yourself. Good for you!

I hope you have a great day today!

 

[goldcupmom]

Did I EVER claim my life was dull or boring??? Or even NORMAL?????

Last night I'm sitting at the computer trying to list Ebay about 9:20 & in runs Max (my <3lb fully grown yorkie) making those wonderful doggie throw up sounds. Only problem is he was choking on something. After about 10 min of trying he was shaking all over, eyes dilated & still going at it. DH of course can't hardly move, DD is hysterical, I'm trying to hold together, but crying & praying- this is my baby! Call the emergency Vet on this side of town that's open til 11 and am told "We don't take Walk-ins after 7 p.m." I scream "Pardon me, I guess we'll schedule our emergency next time" and hang up. The only other E-vet is on the other side of town a good 30 min drive if you fly low. DH can't come, DD can't come. Call DS17 home from his friends. He holds Max, I drive. We get about 15 min away & Max gets worse, DS17 thinks he will die. He keeps trying to see with the light of his cell phone if anything is coming up. Nothing. Suddenly it gets quiet & Max stops shaking, but isn't dead or choking. We drive the next 20 min in silence. Get to the clinic & Max seems fine, I decide to go get some water & see if he will drink , am yelled at by a 'BUM' at Albertson's because I won't give him money, the water machine eats my change so I head inside to buy one & the Bum again yells at me "they won't refund money to B!@#hes like you in there!". Get the water, Max drinks like crazy, curls up on my lap & goes to sleep. UGH!!!

He seems fine this morning. I called our Vet who said just to watch him for the next 48 hours to see if whatever it is passes ok rather than subject him to Xrays needlessly. He & Mia are at the groomers now & I managed a brief nap.

DH Dr. said they would call 1st thing today to schedule the Epidural. I've been trying all day & not managed to get in contact w/ the scheduling person. Frustrating. His pain seems to not be quite as bad, but the numbness is still the same. I haven't filled the Neurontin RX yet as DH is a bit hesitant to take it - doesn't want to get 'stupid'. Oh well.....

Yesterday I stayed OP, but I really wanted to EAT with all the Max stress, or at least drive thru Starbucks on the way home. I resisted, though.

Today is liquid day, or I'm trying to get back into the 1 day a week liquid habit again. It's not easy to restart it. Easier, however, when I'm on my own & don't have everyone here for dinner. DD has fencing and DH is going with her. YEAH!!!

Needless to say, I didn't get my Ebay done last night so I'm going to be doing double duty tonight.

Hope everyone is having a good Hump day!!

 

[Jane E.]

I think I would have freaked if that were me! Its so scary when our furbabies get sick. I hate going thru stuff like that. If thats not enought, you had that guy yelling at you. You sure have been thru a lot lately. Take a deep breath. Hope these meds and pt work for your dh!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Wow, Julie I am so sorry things have been so hectic for you lately. I am glad Max is better and I hope your DH starts to improve dramatically. That is great you stayed OP during yesterday's doggie drama and everything else you had going on. Good for you! Hope "liquid day" went well. Personally to me, liquid day means I'm on vacation and hitting the pool bar! Hang in there, you are doing great through it all!

 

[traceycooper]

Oh Julie, what a time you are having!!
Glad your dog seems ok now though Were you scared when the man kept shouting horrible things at you? I would have been!!!
Hope the meds work for DH & he gets 'sorted out' soon.
Hope you are having a better day now

 

[goldcupmom]

Went to WW WI this morning, down .6. I'll take it given the past 2 weeks. I'm not pre-FL, but I'm ok with that. At least it was a loss!

(This board is really acting weird. It wants to take everything I type and put it one word per line. How bizarre!! And tedious to type!!)

My WI friend was talking about some of the WWs doing a 1/2 marathon. When I asked her where, she said here. So, my mind is churning. It's Oct 21, all flat, at a lower elevation than I normally walk. Can I do this?? Do I want to?? Should I?? I certainly don't want to do it alone, but if I had people to do it with..... HMMMMMM...... The distance doesn't concern me if there isn't a time, and I looked at the info website and no time is mentioned for any of the events. Last years results showed people finishing the 1/2 at an almost 19m/m pace. Hmmmmm........ I found my MFM book last week and looking at it, I'm certain that the walk program week 5 which is where it would be is doable for me. I just don't know.....

DH back isn't any better really. He doesn't want the meds or the epidural, but is now in agreement that he needs to have it done. I'm still trying to get the scheduler at the Dr. to return my calls.

DS20 - don't even go there... DH just thinks he will miraculously wake up one morning with a brain & do the right thing. I think DS20 needs some consequences for his lack of responsibility. He lives here free, I'm paying his bills, etc., and he can't even empty the trash once in a while, keep his room with a path in it or have the courtesy to tell us where he is/when he will return, let alone go apply for jobs. Needless to say there's a lot of friction in this house at present.

I'm not making it to the gym today, but I'll do my WATP.

The itchy elbow seems to be getting a little bit better. It's just an odd shaped patch & a couple of dots. I think it was pool dots I scratched & they got worse or possibly slightly infected.

Off to go run a couple of errands......

Hope all is well with everyone!!

 

[toystoryduo]

Julie,

Yikes! What a day you had yesterday! I'm glad that your furbaby seems to be doing better today.

As always, you are in my thoughts and prayers. You are a very strong woman, Julie and your family is very blessed to have you!

I hope you have a calm and relaxing weekend. Take care!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Hi Julie, congrats on the weight loss. I think you should totally do that 1/2 marathon if it interests you. I am sure you would do great. As for your ds20, thats a toughie. Whatever you do will be right, he's your son and you know him, yourself and your family dynamics well enough to make the right choice. And that right choice will come to you in time! My sister is in somewhat the same spot with my 22 year old nephew and it can really be stressful on moms as you well know! Sorry your husband's back is no better, I guess the good news is that its no worse? Hang in there, through it all, you are taking good care of yourself and continue to lose weight. What an accomplishment!

 

[Blueeyes101817]

Hi-I know i havent posted in awhilebut i have been checking in and reading. You are doing a great job and i hope you have a great weekend

 

[goldcupmom]

What a weekend!!!

Thursday I stayed OP, Friday OP, but Saturday & Sunday definitely NOT!

DH decided not to take any meds and got worse, so I've been 'everything for everybody' and totally exhausted.

Saturday DH was a bit better and told DS20 he was getting him up at 9 a.m. to take him to 10 places to turn in applications. I laughed knowing it wouldn't happen. DH said he would buy DS20 a pack of cigarettes when they were done. I ran errands, got home about 1 and DH is watching TV. DS20 still hasn't made it upstairs. About 2 DS20 appears, fills out 1 online application, says he needs to go get a referral email from another friend and leaves. I leave again to run DS17 & DD places, pick up at work, etc. Get home at 5:30 and DS20 still isn't home & DH is watching TV. DH hasn't even tried to call DS20. I call, but of course, his phone doesn't work when I call..... About 7:30 DS20 calls and has run out of gas. I have to get a can, gas & go rescue him. About 9 DS20 leaves to go "hang out" - you don't drive far on less than a gallon. Home about 11:30. Yesterday DS20 left at 11, and when he did DH handed him MONEY for cigarettes. I could have KILLED DH!!! DS20 didn't follow thru, no Money!!! Comes home at about 5, at 7:30 comes up & says he needs to take friend to urgent care - she has a sore on her arm & can't go see a real Dr. as she's on welfare & she wrecked her car so can't drive. All on this <1 gal gas. Back about 11 again. Then at 1 he comes in & says friend B's truck broke down & he needs to go pick him up, will be back soon. It's now over 12 hours later & still no DS20.

DH & I got into it on the phone as I truly believe DS20 doesn't want to get a job. He was content to be the "guy on the couch' at friends houses for 3 mo, he now has internet, tv, food, shelter, a car I'm paying the ins. & repair bill for, DH is giving him occasional cash, why should he get a job???? The only reason he came home last time is because of the messed up restraining order(he needed us to hire a lawyer for him) & he didn't like the kinds of food the food bank was giving him. Why work when you can lay around & watch simpsons for free????

A grocery store, the only app DH had him fill out online on Sat, called a bit ago to see if DS20 would be a P/T bagger. I doubt DS20 will even call them back. Not that one can live on P/T minimum wage, but.....

So, stress attacked, or more accurately, Stress combined with PMS attacked. In reality I should sue Walmart for putting their 1 lb bags of Mega M&Ms on $1 clearance right by the checkout. They forced their way into my cart, out to my bug & into my mouth! And I ate nothing but continual JUNK all weekend long. Terrible munchies + stress is NOT good!

I'm too tired to make it to the gym - I just can't go on 5 - 6 hours/night. DS20 is house/pet sitting & has to sleep over, so, because it's monsoon (plus I don't want his cycle left out overnight) I have to drive him over there, then pick him up at 5:45 am to bring him here to shower & get ready for work. I'm too exhausted & too stressed to do anything, or to care much.

I actually was going to apply for a job on Saturday. A new arena is opening up near here and I thought an occasional night taking tickets or something over there could be fun & it would get me out of the house. The line to turn in an app was 3 - 4 hours long. NOT!!! I wasn't going to wait that long.

Wed I take my bug in, AGAIN. Thursday morning DH has his epidural. Of course, the ONLY time they could give us was on a Thurs Morning, so no WW this week. Friday I go to the breast specialist - even though I don't believe there's a problem, I'm sure I'll feel much better when that appt's over.

So, my scale is like a yo-yo. I feel like crud from junk & lack of sleep & my attitude STINKS. Sorry I'm taking it out on y'all!

I'm trying to stay on top of the ebay mess as junk is all over my house in containers & it's all fall/winter stuff that must GO, but it's not easy focusing on anything.

So far today food has been ok, but there's a lot of day left!! I'm not hungry at all, but I think I'm eating from stress & also to try to stay awake. If I make it, today will be day 84.

Hopefully a better post later! Thanks for listening & caring. Many days, you're the only human contact I can say I really have - kids just don't count!!

 

[toystoryduo]

Julie,

I hope that your week gets better. Prayers for you and your family...

 

[traceycooper]

Julie,

& lots of:


Hope your week improves,
wish i could come up with some magic words to solve your problems with DS.
Only thing i can think of is men take longer than women to grow up, so lets hope there is time yet for him to 'see the light'
Take care of yourself & let him take care of himself!

 

[goldcupmom]

Thanks for the Prayers & PD, Tracy & Tracy!

This morning I couldn't be in the house, going nuts. It was still overcast & in the 60s so I took the pups in their stroller for a walk. Went to the coffee shop in the grocery, got coffee & walked.....& walked.....& walked just over 5 miles RT. Stopped at a park & got them out & walked some more. Before that I walked Sam's for an hour talking on my cell to my DSis in FL. Needless to say, I'm about walked out for today as my minute total is just at 200 minutes for today. I love going to sam's at 7 a.m. as I'm usually the only person there and I just do laps around the place (and there's no blue hairs to get mad at me!!)

I'm now at 911/1500 for August. Making it probably wont' happen as my motivation is severly lacking.

DS20 came home briefly yesterday while I was away, got the number for the grocery that had called. Supposedly called them back & they guy was gone for the day. He never made it home again last night despite telling me many times he'd be home. It's now 11 a.m. & he won't answer his phone. UGH!!!!!!

I need to try to get some things done around here. Hopefully I'll get to some journals later.

 

[CACruisin']

Julie,
Lots of P & PD that things will sort themselves out and calm down for you.


Good job with all your walking today. What a great way to deal with your stress and frustrations. Take care.

 

[toystoryduo]

Hi Julie,

That was a lot of walking yesterday! I bet it felt good to get out of the house for awhile. I hope that things start looking up for everyone soon. Have you heard from DS20?

Have a good Wednesday!

 

[ScoJo15]

Hi Julie!

I really hope things get better for you...just hang in there and do your best!! I love how you dealt with it by walking though....I've found that walking, running or just exercising seems to be soo theraputic...really clears the mind and offers a break from the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

Hang in there and try to have a good day today!

 

[deelam]

Dropping in to say Hi!

I read most of your journal. You really deserve a metal for all you have been going through. You are a really good Mother. You are glue that holds everything together. So you really got to take care of you.
I wish I could advise you on DS20. I have a friend going through this with her son. Also, my husbands niece is a mess, she stays out all night and sleeps all day. All of her friends are the same way. It's very frustrating. So I see the heartache from that. As a last resort, maybe you could take away the car. Maybe only let DS use it to find work.

Good luck with everything.

 

[goldcupmom]

I'm still here, just been busy. DH had his injection this morning. Went really fast. 20 min waiting to be called. He went back, I went down the hall to the RR, came back, sat & picked up my book and he was out. It may not have any effect and we won't know for up to 3 weeks. UGH!!!

Tomorrow is my appt. w/ the breast specialist. I'm a little apprehensive, but am thinking positive.

If I can hang in there, today will be day 86 CF. I'm trying!!!

I didn't get the opportunity to do any Ebay stuff yesterday as I spent the day messing with my Bug going in , and w/ DS20. Long story, again, but he was supposed to go w/ me to look for jobs. Drove me around, applied at ONE place. My nerves can't take riding with him again!! SCARY!!!! A friend of his - used to be roomie - who spend 6 mo in a rehab place, is now a manager of a McD, and says that if DS20 comes in today he can get him a job. Would be nice- at least it would be something. Not going to pay the $12+/hr his most recently lost job did, but..... Time will tell.

I'm off to Sam's to buy a punching bag for DS17 for Christmas. It's a kit clearanced to $49 and he's been dropping hints. I need to pick it up today & hide it who knows where as it will fit in the rental I have, but won't in the bug. Since DH hurt his back, he's got the van.

More later.....