Jon and Kate Plus 8 Official Thread - Part 8

[FergieTCat]

My apologies for offending you. It has become a colloquial phrase and that's how I was using it.

Allow me to leave the thread again. This isn't a YAGE but I am obviously not taking this subject as seriously as the rest of you.

Again, my sincere apologies.

Even saying you are kidding, talking about the koolaid just makes me shudder. I remember very clearly what those pictures of all the dead kids and their parents looked like.
While these families may follow what TLC says, I personally find it distasteful that something like the koolaid name is used (and this isn't personal just to you..other's have used it in the past). Those people that drank the koolaid strongly believed in the religious beliefs of a madman, and drinking the koolaid laced with poison to kill themselves and their children was horrific. I know it's become the 'in' thing to mention drinking koolaid when talking about people following something blindly, and maybe some people don't remember Jim Jones (and why koolaid is mentioned when it's said someone is following someone blindly), who's followers laced the koolaid with cyanide. It's said the people followed him blindly and I don't think this could be said about the realty TV parents. They would not, IMO follow someone blindly, knowing it could kill their children. If you even know one family member left behind of someone who died there, you would know the koolaid comment really can hurt.

From wiki: 909 inhabitants of Jonestown,276 of them children, died of apparent cyanide poisoning, mostly in and around a pavilion.This resulted in the greatest single loss of American civilian life in a non-natural disaster until the September 11, 2001 attacks. No video was taken during the mass suicide, though the FBI did recover a 45 minute audio recording of the suicide in progress.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Jones

 

[DMRick]

Certainly no need to leave, I"m just posting my own opinion on that saying, since I've seen it a couple of times here (and on other Dis threads). I've just been seeing that koolaid reference a lot lately, and I know a lot of people on these threads are quite a bit younger than I am, and thought that maybe some didn't realize where it comes from. I am sorry that it has become an everyday saying. A lot of things are joked about that I never thought would happen. I actually read my first 9/11 joke on a board and I seemed to be the only one shocked.

My apologies for offending you. It has become a colloquial phrase and that's how I was using it.

Allow me to leave the thread again. This isn't a YAGE but I am obviously not taking this subject as seriously as the rest of you.

Again, my sincere apologies.

 

[Buckalew11]

Honestly, I do not think what the Duggers said and what the Gosselins said was too made up. So very similar, but they are both doing the same thing--videoing their families daily life for TV and money. To say, our kids enjoy it, enjoy the camera crew etc. while one might think it was Kate saying it instead of a Dugger, ---well, I mean, what else would either one of them say? And I'm sure it is true--the kids all probably love the crew and love the travel and all that. Not saying it is right for the parents to do to their kids but I do think those people become like family.

 

[madge]

I wonder if the rumor about the Duggars not paying taxes is true.

it's my understanding (limited, at best.... LOL) that it's partially true. how so? I'm not exactly sure.

 

[madge]

Just read this on my Twitter feed:

http://www.usmagazine.com/momsbabie...n-raising-out-of-control-kids-help-me-2010145

I'm not really sure where to start with my comments, so I won't. Besides, many of them come back to parenting style, which is completely subjective. LOL.

 

[DMRick]

I don't have any comments, since I know the feeling LOL. Sometimes I think I just lost control..and the kids ran the house (although at least when I put my kids in the corner, they stayed there, unlike my neighbor whose kids wouldn't). Wait until they are teens. I only had three teens at a time..she'll have eight!!

I am surprised it has today's date thought, since I was pretty sure I had already read that about a month ago.

Just read this on my Twitter feed:

http://www.usmagazine.com/momsbabie...n-raising-out-of-control-kids-help-me-2010145

I'm not really sure where to start with my comments, so I won't. Besides, many of them come back to parenting style, which is completely subjective. LOL.

 

[madge]

I don't have any comments, since I know the feeling LOL. Sometimes I think I just lost control..and the kids ran the house (although at least when I put my kids in the corner, they stayed there, unlike my neighbor whose kids wouldn't). Wait until they are teens. I only had three teens at a time..she'll have eight!!

yes, but I'm pretty sure you didn't have househelp, nannies, and a job that took you away from your children for long stretches of time.

 

[walden]

Who knows what TLC is pushing on these families. It is very bizarre that they would say something so similar to J&K. Talk about sounding like a broken record...the camera crew are like family, the kids love them, they look forward to seeing them, they're just following us around while we go about our business. Blah blah blah. It's all the same, J&K used their kids, Jimbob and Michelle are doing the same. J&K wrote a book about their family (with pics) and so did the Duggars (with pics). J&K went to book signings, so did the Duggars. I find it interesting that they limit tv in their house yet are broadcasting their family life on tv.

As far as the Duggars and taxes go, didn't they declare their home a home church? I think that's how they are exempt, right?

Also, I read that the Duggars new home was decorated/furnished by TLC. Again, sounds strikingly familiar doesn't it?

The wording is so similar that I strongly suspect that it is TLC's recommended response for its employees. As to other similarities: Kate and Michelle both went to Kleinfeld's (sp?) to get their wedding dresses when both Gs and Ds renewed their vows, kids introduce segments and are interviewed, and product placement is increasing on the Duggar show. New bikes, a trip to the spa, new clothes (modern modest vs prairie dresses for the girls and a brand new layette for the latest baby rather than "buying used and saving the difference"), and the list goes on. I smiled when the family that makes their own laundry soap used Scrubbing Bubbles with the label prominently displayed to clean bathrooms! Also didn't TLC pretty much force a spa visit on the Table for 12 Mom because all Moms of multiples need trips to the spa? She was not at all keen, as I remember, "Don't you dare touch my feet!" TLC isn't very inventive.

My apologies for offending you. It has become a colloquial phrase and that's how I was using it.

Allow me to leave the thread again. This isn't a YAGE but I am obviously not taking this subject as seriously as the rest of you.

Again, my sincere apologies.

No need to leave, especially after such a nice apology. The Koolaid comment is colloquial and has been used here before, although I admit that it always makes me wince a bit too. I have to remind myself that Jonestown was 32 years ago, and not everyone is old enough to have memories of the truly dreadful event.

Honestly, I do not think what the Duggers said and what the Gosselins said was too made up. So very similar, but they are both doing the same thing--videoing their families daily life for TV and money. To say, our kids enjoy it, enjoy the camera crew etc. while one might think it was Kate saying it instead of a Dugger, ---well, I mean, what else would either one of them say? And I'm sure it is true--the kids all probably love the crew and love the travel and all that. Not saying it is right for the parents to do to their kids but I do think those people become like family.[/QUOTE]

The problem is that they are not family and should not be treated as such. The crew are working. If filming stops they leave, or they could be transferred by TLC to another work site/family. Scott, one of the guys now filming the Duggars used to film the Gosselins and I think the Gosselins had almost total turn-over of the crew over the years of filming. In addition, one of the issues that very much concerned the PA legislators during the hearing was that it appeared TLC had not done background checks on the crew. This is required by PA, and many other states, for all people working around minors. Now, I am certainly not saying that any of the production team are child molesters, it is just a reasonable precaution for anyone working with children or vulnerable adults to have a CORI.

 

[DMRick]

Actually, I did have a mother's helper and a teenager who helped me clean when I needed them (I worked as well, although oposite hours from my husband usually). I still was the person responsible for figuring stuff out, cooked most meals, was in charge of discipline, paying the bills, making sure they had clothes for school, getting hair cuts, involved in church groups with them, setting up play dates, etc, and I had a husband (who I gladly left them with when I was worn out LOL). They still came to me with all the arguments (my kids would fight with each other a lot, escpecially the two girls). I often sat on the stoop while they played out front (and read or talked with other moms) and when the arguing started, they tried to get me involved. I said when I saw blood, I would get involved. I was prob a lousy mother, since I hardly played with them, and they tired me out. It was hard bringing up kids. They didn't come with an instruction book, and back then we didn't have the internet to talk it out..just friends to complain to.
I do hope that when she is home, she spends time with the kids. By the way, she did say and Jon backed it up, the time she was gone for DWTS for 12 days, he was with them for 9 of those days. As long as the kids are with people who love them and take care of them, I don't have a problem with her traveling for work.

yes, but I'm pretty sure you didn't have househelp, nannies, and a job that took you away from your children for long stretches of time.

 

[madge]

I don't have a problem with her traveling for work.

I never said I had a problem with the traveling for work (not in this particular context, LOL).

This is just another example of Kate not knowing how to keep her mouth shut. Kate claims she wishes that could be with her children at home baking cookies every day, yet she complains about dealing with one of the most normal aspects of staying home with your children.

She's the poster child for working moms? Many of the working moms I know would LOVE the opportunity to be able to stay home and solve sibling squabbles. They don't have hired help, jobs with extensive travel, trips to the nail salon, etc. that allow them frequent breaks from dealing with the children.

 

[DMRick]

I guess I should have said, I don't have a problem with any of it. She was blogging, putting down her thoughts, having a place to leave her frustrations, which a lot of people do..just look at the dis community board and family board. I didn't even get the feeling she was complailning, but saying how she settles their squabbles, how she handles the kids. I didn't even see why the magazine thought it was newsworthy. Just because she's frustrated with all that goes with the kids, doesn't mean, imo that she doesn't want to spend time with them. Just because she, or anyone blogs about the problems of raising kids, doesn't mean they don't want to be home with them.
I also never thought she was a poster mom for working moms. I'm not sure there is such a thing. I love my kids, always have, but I also I like being with the grown ups. I loved going to work..didn't miss baking cookies at all LOL! Lucky for us, one of my kids loved to bake, and as soon as she was old enough she became the family baker.

I never said I had a problem with the traveling for work (not in this particular context, LOL).

This is just another example of Kate not knowing how to keep her mouth shut. Kate claims she wishes that could be with her children at home baking cookies every day, yet she complains about dealing with one of the most normal aspects of staying home with your children.

She's the poster child for working moms? Many of the working moms I know would LOVE the opportunity to be able to stay home and solve sibling squabbles. They don't have hired help, jobs with extensive travel, trips to the nail salon, etc. that allow them frequent breaks from dealing with the children.

 

[kidshop]

I never said I had a problem with the traveling for work (not in this particular context, LOL).

This is just another example of Kate not knowing how to keep her mouth shut. Kate claims she wishes that could be with her children at home baking cookies every day, yet she complains about dealing with one of the most normal aspects of staying home with your children.

She's the poster child for working moms? Many of the working moms I know would LOVE the opportunity to be able to stay home and solve sibling squabbles. They don't have hired help, jobs with extensive travel, trips to the nail salon, etc. that allow them frequent breaks from dealing with the children.

This is the woman with a show to help OTHER moms with their (most likely real) problems? Should be fascinating!

 

[Buckalew11]

I agree...& it sounds like she was probably asked about it and was answering. Very often, ok, weekly, I have a mom sit in my chair for a haircut and say, "When I had my 2nd child someone should have given me a whistle" or "I need a referee uniform."

I only have one so I don't feel the need but my sister has 4 that have always tattled on each other.

 

[DMRick]

This must be one of those physcian heal thyself. Lots easier to give advice LOL.

This is the woman with a show to help OTHER moms with their (most likely real) problems? Should be fascinating!

 

[Seahunt]

This is the woman with a show to help OTHER moms with their (most likely real) problems?

But don'cha remember when Kate was on Joy Behar's show she told Joy that “anybody who we allow into our house is nothing but mesmerized by how loving and wonderful my kids are and how well adjusted and smart and how well they do in school."

Guess she just wants to help other moms learn her secrets to kid mesmerization

 

[Promomx2]

Okay, I can't hold it in anymore. Letting 6 kids figure it out for themselves, come on. Has she not watched Jo the Nanny on tv and what happens when you let kids rule? I understand the refereeing. I almost bought a referee shirt at the goodwill one time. I think sometimes it was worst between my husband and the kids. But I totally disagree with Kate letting them alone, especially the boys, they can get really rough.

 

[Buckalew11]

I have a sister who is a school teacher and she is a "leave them alone" type. My other sister is the opposite.

People really vary in this.

I had a client who said her rule was unless someone is bleeding or on fire, settle it yourself. She was also a schoolteacher.

 

[DMRick]

LOL..I didn't take that to mean that she would let them slug it out til one gets bloody, or that she lets them rule. I took it to mean they were tattling on each other to her and she wanted them to work it out amongst themselves. Gosh, I must really have been a bad mother. It's amazing my kids all turned out so well, had the discipline to finish college and get successful jobs & marriages (and their children are doing well, also). I have no idea where they learned to parent so well, since it sounds like it wasn't from me LOL.

When they had problems with each other, I didn't step in. I wanted them to be prepared for the real world, try to work out their problems. If they couldn't, then I would step in (although the girls did bloody their brother, when they tied the rope to him and made him their monkey and dragged him on the driveway. Of course no one was even watching them at the time..hanging my head in shame). This is what she said in her blog about letting them work it out:

"I'm to the point where I hold up my hand and say, 'I'm not the complaint department, and I don't like how black and white stripes look on me, so go work it out. If you can't, I'll help you.' And I leave it to them"

Okay, I can't hold it in anymore. Letting 6 kids figure it out for themselves, come on. Has she not watched Jo the Nanny on tv and what happens when you let kids rule? I understand the refereeing. I almost bought a referee shirt at the goodwill one time. I think sometimes it was worst between my husband and the kids. But I totally disagree with Kate letting them alone, especially the boys, they can get really rough.

 

[DMRick]

I had a client who said her rule was unless someone is bleeding or on fire, settle it yourself.

 

[susykt4]

My kids are 9 & 7, girl/boy. I refuse to get involved in their petty arguments and if someone tattles over something stupid, both are punished. We have 3-5 neighbor kids over most evenings and weekends. If the kids can't solve their own squabbles, the neighbors go home and my kids go to their rooms. No whining is allowed in my house. I almost never go outside and actually play with the kids. I of course play board games or pitch baseballs sometimes, but it's never "expected" that I will be actively involved in their play time. They deal with their own petty issues and play on their own, but they most certainly don't rule the house! I work fulltime on the same schedule as my husband so the kids have to go to a before/aftercare program at their school and to a day camp all summer. I get to travel for work once in a great while and I LOVE it!

I'm not a Kate fan, but if she doesn't want to play with her kids every second she's outside with them, I don't have any problem with her sitting in her plastic chair and talking on the phone or reading or whatever she enjoys doing. The kids are 6, there are 6 of them and they SHOULD be able to entertain themselves! And work out their own minor issues! My husband can take the kids to the children's museum and spend hours and hours playing with them. I want to pull my hair out after 20 minutes. Does that mean I hate my children and he is a much better parent? It's great that Jon goes outside and actively plays with the kids, but for everyone to act like he's OBVIOUSLY the superior parent and Kate can't stand to be around her kids is ridiculous! If Kate wants to blog about being annoyed at feeling like a referee, I can't really blame her since I (and most of my parent friends) feel the same way.