Jon and Kate Plus 8 Official Thread - Part 6

[DMRick]

Before the Duggars came on the other night, I was watching the tail end of an old episode of J&K. It's amazing how different their lives were prior to the rift. The kids behave differently. .

They did seem to be 'surgar' high last night, however, the past few episods have not been like that at all.

I do think there is a difference in a large family like the Duggar's where each of the older kids are responsible for a younger one (rather than the parents having to watch them all) and having 6 kids all one age, and two more 2 years older.

Even the Duggars (and I do respect their morals, etc) will prob have books written by the kids someday. For me personally, I have more of a problem of them being on TV, than I do the Gosselins. If they aren't doing it for the money (and yes, they may own a few properties, but it still takes a lot of money to raise that many children, so I don't completely buy that..now, if they refused pay, and said they just want to show a Christian family, I would retract this) then I don't get why they don't keep to themselves and be private and keep their children's lives private. They have placements, and I have no doubt they have scripted trips (because it would be very hard to shoot without them) even though theirs are Christian based most of the time.

 

[DreaGirl]

WOW it sounds like alot of you point out so much Kate does "wrong" that maybe you all should write a parenting book. just sayin'

When you put your life on display to the public, then you are opening yourself up to praise and criticism.

What Kate says and does is so inconsistent. I guess she has forgotten that all her statements are on tape/written down and are on the internet forever.

I haven't heard anyone on this thread claim to be a perfect parent or an expert.

 

[rileyroosmom]

Just a few comments I'd like to make:

If you aren't a single mom (I am and of only 3 kids) you have no idea how tiring it can be. If I had someone else to take my kid to the doctor, I know I would.

The Duggars never complain about how many kids they have because they don't take care of them - the older ones take care of the younger. Have you ever seen Michelle cook, clean or do any work? They are becoming like the Gosselins also. Look at all the trips they are taking - don't you think TLC is paying for those trips so the show is more interesting?

The comment about the behind the scenes of the corn episode and how many people are there. The same amount of people have always been there. It takes a lot of people to produce any type of tv show. The papparazzi are always around now so you see those types of pics. I'm sure the same amount of people are at the Duggars.

As for the dogs, I don't think they ever should have gotten them. I think Jon wanted them and Kate went along with the idea to keep him happy. I don't blame her for wanting them to go. I know I try and simplify my life as much as I can. Everything is 3 times harder when you are by yourself.

How many times Kate comments about being alone and doing it all. That's the pity card and I too play it often. Again, until you have been there, it's hard.

Last point, we have to remember, the Gosselins have 6 kids all the same age. That makes everything that much harder also then having 6 kids of varying ages.

Cara and her whining - kids WHINE! I have an 8 year old who would whine all day if I let her. Some wise words I heard at my parenting kids of divorce class: Don't blame every negative thing a kid does on the divorce. We tend to say, "he failed the class do to the divorce" we don't say "he got on A on the test due to the divorce" sometimes kids will have problems and it's not about the divorce.

I'm done now!

 

[MAKmom]

LOL. She does put herself out there, so I guess she's fair game.

I also wonder if sometimes people like to see the perceived mistakes other people made, and then their mistakes don't look so bad. I made tons of mistakes bringing up my kids (if I had it to do over again, we wouldn't even have owned a family TV. Just one in our (I almost said 'my' bedroom, but then you all would assume my hubby and I don't share a room) bedroom for news and specials). I think I was too hard on my kids. I think I shouldn't have bought them some of the fancy brand names, just because they wore me down. I think I should have fed them healthier and had more exercise as a family. But now that I see what people pick on Kate for..heck, I look like a model parent, and if I wasn't off on vacation so much lmao spending my kids inheritances, I would write a parenting book...especially since my kids turned out perfect, in spite of me!
And the best part is? My middle child, who was the most difficult to raise (cause she was just like her mom), has made her home handicap accessible in case either of us needs to live with her. Who would have thought LOL!

Kate left Jon.

Too funny about Hailey's prayer list on the website! coming soon I'm sure.

I have never heard her say she left Jon or hear Jon say Kate left him. I read her saying he does not want to be married to me. BUT I did not see the whole interview with ABC & Jon did he say when she left him?

 

[mousey]

When you put your life on display to the public, then you are opening yourself up to praise and criticism.

What Kate says and does is so inconsistent. I guess she has forgotten that all her statements are on tape/written down and are on the internet forever.

I haven't heard anyone on this thread claim to be a perfect parent or an expert.

ITA!!! Nobody forced them to put there life on public display. They could stop at anytime. Remember they like the perks, freebies and free trips that no large family with neither parent working could afford. This is the price they pay for their celebrity status!

 

[DMRick]

on being a single mom

Just a few comments I'd like to make:

If you aren't a single mom (I am and of only 3 kids) you have no idea how tiring it can be. If I had someone else to take my kid to the doctor, I know I would.

The Duggars never complain about how many kids they have because they don't take care of them - the older ones take care of the younger. Have you ever seen Michelle cook, clean or do any work? They are becoming like the Gosselins also. Look at all the trips they are taking - don't you think TLC is paying for those trips so the show is more interesting?

The comment about the behind the scenes of the corn episode and how many people are there. The same amount of people have always been there. It takes a lot of people to produce any type of tv show. The papparazzi are always around now so you see those types of pics. I'm sure the same amount of people are at the Duggars.

As for the dogs, I don't think they ever should have gotten them. I think Jon wanted them and Kate went along with the idea to keep him happy. I don't blame her for wanting them to go. I know I try and simplify my life as much as I can. Everything is 3 times harder when you are by yourself.

How many times Kate comments about being alone and doing it all. That's the pity card and I too play it often. Again, until you have been there, it's hard.

Last point, we have to remember, the Gosselins have 6 kids all the same age. That makes everything that much harder also then having 6 kids of varying ages.

Cara and her whining - kids WHINE! I have an 8 year old who would whine all day if I let her. Some wise words I heard at my parenting kids of divorce class: Don't blame every negative thing a kid does on the divorce. We tend to say, "he failed the class do to the divorce" we don't say "he got on A on the test due to the divorce" sometimes kids will have problems and it's not about the divorce.

I'm done now!

 

[DreaGirl]

Just a few comments I'd like to make:

If you aren't a single mom (I am and of only 3 kids) you have no idea how tiring it can be. If I had someone else to take my kid to the doctor, I know I would.

The Duggars never complain about how many kids they have because they don't take care of them - the older ones take care of the younger. Have you ever seen Michelle cook, clean or do any work? They are becoming like the Gosselins also. Look at all the trips they are taking - don't you think TLC is paying for those trips so the show is more interesting?

The comment about the behind the scenes of the corn episode and how many people are there. The same amount of people have always been there. It takes a lot of people to produce any type of tv show. The papparazzi are always around now so you see those types of pics. I'm sure the same amount of people are at the Duggars.

As for the dogs, I don't think they ever should have gotten them. I think Jon wanted them and Kate went along with the idea to keep him happy. I don't blame her for wanting them to go. I know I try and simplify my life as much as I can. Everything is 3 times harder when you are by yourself.

How many times Kate comments about being alone and doing it all. That's the pity card and I too play it often. Again, until you have been there, it's hard.

Last point, we have to remember, the Gosselins have 6 kids all the same age. That makes everything that much harder also then having 6 kids of varying ages.

I totally agree with you. Being a single parent is very hard. I've watched my sister do it for about 7 years now. My DH also travels for work for a week at a time and I DREAD those weeks. The difference between us and the Gosselins is that we don't have 1-2 full time nannies that are helping us out every day, all day. I would LOVE to have some help on the days that DH is traveling, that would make things so much easier.

Kate likes to paint herself as this single mother who does everything all on her own, when in fact she is never on her own. She doesn't even travel alone. How many mothers get the luxury of cooking dinner alone in the kitchen? I would love to cook from scratch every night, but it is almost impossible to do it with kids under my feet and them wanting my attention...now if I had a nanny to watch them for the few hours I needed I would do it every night.

As far as all being the same age, it makes it easier in some ways as well. They are all interested in the same things, they all bring home the same homework, they all go to the same school. It has it's perks too.

 

[kidshop]

I have never heard her say she left Jon or hear Jon say Kate left him. I read her saying he does not want to be married to me. BUT I did not see the whole interview with ABC & Jon did he say when she left him?

Kate can't remember what happened when. Personally I go with what Jodi and Kevin said, which was it was last fall that kate told Jon it was over. Jon corroborated this in one of his articles. He supposedly moved directly into the garage apartment and went to counseling but Kate was done. This version makes the most sense to me and a lot of it is visible on the couch interview interactions filmed during this time period. Other people think it was january.

I think it was convenient for Kate to go along with the main public perception that Jon got caught cheating, and this was the beginning of the end. The divorce and such followed along nicely. It began way before that IMO, and they were long separated by the time Jon was with Deanna. It just makes Kate look bad to admit that. Hence the forgetting when it was over.

 

[DMRick]

For the sake of argument, lets say it happened when Jodi and Kevin said. We still don't know just why it happened. Even if Kate told Jon it was over (and who knows if she did, but for the sake of argument, she did, I assume things spiraled downword for her, and maybe she really doesn't know what was the real end), since we weren't living in their pockets (well, almost LOL), we have no idea why, or even why Kate said they bought the house because she thought that would make Jon happy. Has anyone thought she really may be taking the high road by not telling us (and hence the kids) just what happened at that time? I'll give you that maybe nothing happened, but we really don't know. It's just easier to imagine it was Kate's fault, for some reason by many (and it may be, but I just don't know that).

I think it was convenient for Kate to go along with the main public perception that Jon got caught cheating, and this was the beginning of the end. The divorce and such followed along nicely. It began way before that IMO, and they were long separated by the time Jon was with Deanna. It just makes Kate look bad to admit that. Hence the forgetting when it was over.

 

[hbkfan637]

Against my better judgment I watched the farm episode yesterday. My thoughts, very, very scripted. First of all your child has an injured foot for 2 weeks and on a night of filming--game night--its necessary to take Cara to the dr. for her foot--most unrealistic was having a 2 wk old injury xrayed that night. Even if she did break it, which after 2 wks would of been half healed, they wouldn't of put a cast on that night. You really think an orthopedic dr. is going to come in at 9PM at night to take care of a 2 week old injury?? Not happening!!! They must have signed and notarized copies of consent for treatment for the nanny to take the child for medical treatment--especially non emergency.

I'm very surprised at the vegetable stand with the way the kids were touching everything and carrying it around only to not buy it. It seemed to me like it was their first time there. Also, the amish don't like to be filmed at all--maybe he was paid for appearing--also I don't know when it was filmed but he didn't have a lot of stuff available for sale??

When they stopped at the playground (which I remember from previous episodes) I had to laugh when Kate said, I usually play with them but its too hot! When did you play with them Kate?? I seriously don't remember that ever happening. I don't know how long they were there as the filming seemed to take 2 minutes.

From the outbursts to the bad behavior of the kids, I think the divorce is really affecting them. Just seems so different without Jon there being bossed around--do this, do that!!! I also thought it was strange how Kate kept saying about all the cooking she does and I'm thinking but your not there to cook?? Just too bad that these kids have to go through this!

My mom didn't "play" with me when I was little. Do I think she's a bad mother? No, she provided in other ways.. like cooking and working to put a roof over our heads. I never thought Kate was a a bad mother because of that. There are many parents like Jon and Kate, where the dad played with the kids while mom took care of the house.

As for Kate letting the babysitter take Cara to the doctor, she said many times that she promised the kids game night. Maybe she thought the injury wasn't serious but wanted to get it checked just in case. She did bring up how she doesn't run the kids to the doctor over every little cold or something like that. I can't call her a horrible mother if she thought it wasn't serious and decided to stay home because she didn't want to break her promise to her other 7 children. When there was a chance that it was serious, she did take Cara for xrays.

 

[MAKmom]

Yeah, after watching the Duggars last night and watching the Gosselin's two nights ago, I am reminded that I would rather have a family raised on good values that doesn't eat only organic food and do all the hip, "posh," things than a family who eats only organic, "never" eats fast food or unnatural food stuffs, and has a mother who is always acting like the 8 kids are an burden, but sugarcoated as being an "accomplishment."

The biggest difference I see between the Duggars and the Gosselins is that the Duggars are happy to have all their kids. Never have I heard the Duggars complain about having so many kids. On the other hand, the Gosselins are always talking about how hard it is to have 8 kids and how they need so much help to keep things in line.

It's all about your mental attitude. If you are positive and willing, things will get done. If you are negative and give up easily, things will seem more difficult. It's not the materialistic things (organic foods, lavish homes, and many vacations) that make a family strong.

Before the Duggars came on the other night, I was watching the tail end of an old episode of J&K. It's amazing how different their lives were prior to the rift. The kids behave differently. The parents even acted differently. Now, I feel a huge piece is gone in each J&K episode. The ratings are even starting to show it.

The Duggar mom only has to take care of the smallest baby. All the older children have a child they are paired up with & they have to take care of all of that childs needs. Kate has help but not one on one like the Duggars. The older Duggar girls are slaves IMO

 

[DreaGirl]

My mom didn't "play" with me when I was little. Do I think she's a bad mother? No, she provided in other ways.. like cooking and working to put a roof over our heads. I never thought Kate was a a bad mother because of that. There are many parents like Jon and Kate, where the dad played with the kids while mom took care of the house.

As for Kate letting the babysitter take Cara to the doctor, she said many times that she promised the kids game night. Maybe she thought the injury wasn't serious but wanted to get it checked just in case. She did bring up how she doesn't run the kids to the doctor over every little cold or something like that. I can't call her a horrible mother if she thought it wasn't serious and decided to stay home because she didn't want to break her promise to her other 7 children. When there was a chance that it was serious, she did take Cara for xrays.

I don't think the OP was saying that Kate was a bad mother for not playing with the kids. I think she was saying she is a hypocrite because she doesn't play with her kids but choses to put out the image that she does.

IMO she decided to stay home because there was filming that needed to be done to show what a good mother she was for playing games with her kids. She couldn't let a hurt foot ruin her camera time.

 

[MAKmom]

Kate can't remember what happened when. Personally I go with what Jodi and Kevin said, which was it was last fall that kate told Jon it was over. Jon corroborated this in one of his articles. He supposedly moved directly into the garage apartment and went to counseling but Kate was done. This version makes the most sense to me and a lot of it is visible on the couch interview interactions filmed during this time period. Other people think it was january.

I think it was convenient for Kate to go along with the main public perception that Jon got caught cheating, and this was the beginning of the end. The divorce and such followed along nicely. It began way before that IMO, and they were long separated by the time Jon was with Deanna. It just makes Kate look bad to admit that. Hence the forgetting when it was over.

The only thing we know for sure is it was not over until June when she filed for divorce. Even if they were in seperate bedrooms they were still married. If you found out Jon was cheating in Oct or Jan would you feel Kate was wrong not to sleep with him? I think he was going out drinking & coming home drunk & high which is why they were in seperate bedrooms. He admits he was going out drinking & said to Kate what are you gong to do divorce me. I have to find the time line on when that was said.

 

[MAKmom]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-mPwspGi3s

Have you seen these... I know I joined this thread late.

 

[DreaGirl]

The only thing we know for sure is it was not over until June when she filed for divorce. Even if they were in seperate bedrooms they were stilled married. If you found out Jon was cheating in Oct or Jan would you feel Kate was wrong not to sleep with him? I think he was going out drinking & coming home drunk & high which is why they were in seperate bedrooms. He admits he was going out drinking & said to Kate what are you gong to do divorce me. I have to find the time line on when that was said.

Hasn't Jon said in the past that he didn't have a romantic relationship until Kate told him SHE wanted a divorce?

Where has it been confirmed that Jon is getting high?

 

[kidshop]

I don't think the OP was saying that Kate was a bad mother for not playing with the kids. I think she was saying she is a hypocrite because she doesn't play with her kids but choses to put out the image that she does.

IMO she decided to stay home because there was filming that needed to be done to show what a good mother she was for playing games with her kids. She couldn't let a hurt foot ruin her camera time.

I think she was obligated to film b/c of the product placement. but I don't know why they couldn't just do it another day, unless it was Jon's turn the next day and they couldn't film. Now I didn't watch but much was made of how much of an imposition is was for her to go out and take Cara to get the x-ray (she's exhausted, never mind her child has pain) and then she said something like we don't have time for a cast. Weird thoughtless thing to say. I cannot fathom why this is something they would choose to show....

 

[redrosesix]

LOL. She does put herself out there, so I guess she's fair game.

I also wonder if sometimes people like to see the perceived mistakes other people made, and then their mistakes don't look so bad. I made tons of mistakes bringing up my kids (if I had it to do over again, we wouldn't even have owned a family TV. Just one in our (I almost said 'my' bedroom, but then you all would assume my hubby and I don't share a room) bedroom for news and specials). I think I was too hard on my kids. I think I shouldn't have bought them some of the fancy brand names, just because they wore me down. I think I should have fed them healthier and had more exercise as a family. But now that I see what people pick on Kate for..heck, I look like a model parent, and if I wasn't off on vacation so much lmao spending my kids inheritances, I would write a parenting book...especially since my kids turned out perfect, in spite of me!
And the best part is? My middle child, who was the most difficult to raise (cause she was just like her mom), has made her home handicap accessible in case either of us needs to live with her. Who would have thought LOL!

I have to agree -- Kate has put herself out there. We didn't ask her to set herself up as an example of motherhood -- she did that to herself.

But as a mother, I always watch what other moms do, whether it's somebody I know or not. I've often caught myself watching somebody in a store or public place handling the situation wrong and think to myself: "well, I'm never going to do that!" LOL I do the same thing when I see a car accident scene -- nice to know how to avoid problems through other people's mistakes.

And for me, this thread is more about sharing how we would cope with a situation when we realize Kate handled something wrong. IMO, I've gotten a lot more good parenting tips from the posters on this thread than I could ever get from Kate.

I've always thought the G kids were so cute, but after Monday's episode I'm beginning to think they're kind of bratty and mean to each other. And LOUD, omg! Yes, I have been around 5 yr olds so I know that the sheer number of them is cause for earplugs, but seriously. They scream at each other constantly. And what was up with Cara? She was acting totally nasty. Also, for being a self-labeled "control freak", can Kate not teach her kids some basic table manners? Every one of them eats with their mouths open and talks with food in their mouths. It's kind of gross to watch.

The Duggars have a ton of kids and they're noisy, too, but they aren't screaming bloody murder in each others faces all day long. They are also polite and have nice manners, most of the the time. I think the Gosselin kids are going to be totally out of control in a few years if the adults don't start telling them "No" once in awhile.

Yup, the Gosselin kids are not well-behaved. And I'm definitely not the type of person who minds kids yelling and having a great time. Heck! Half the time it's because I found something fun for them to do. Call me crazy, but the sound of children playing is like music to my ears -- maybe that's because I have a child who has been very ill at times. Those are the only times she is quiet, and the silence is deafening.

I have never heard her say she left Jon or hear Jon say Kate left him. I read her saying he does not want to be married to me. BUT I did not see the whole interview with ABC & Jon did he say when she left him?

Yup -- October.

For the sake of argument, lets say it happened when Jodi and Kevin said. We still don't know just why it happened. Even if Kate told Jon it was over (and who knows if she did, but for the sake of argument, she did, I assume things spiraled downword for her, and maybe she really doesn't know what was the real end), since we weren't living in their pockets (well, almost LOL), we have no idea why, or even why Kate said they bought the house because she thought that would make Jon happy. Has anyone thought she really may be taking the high road by not telling us (and hence the kids) just what happened at that time? I'll give you that maybe nothing happened, but we really don't know. It's just easier to imagine it was Kate's fault, for some reason by many (and it may be, but I just don't know that).

I'm one of those who buys the October story. People fall out of love or decide to separate for so many reasons and IMO it is none of our business why she wanted to leave him, except for the fact that she has been going around making cryptic statements that point the finger at him, not herself eg. filing for divorce "to protect her children". Had she never made any statements about the end of the marriage, IMO she would not have opened the door to criticism.

 

[walden]

We discussed ad naseum that we didn't think Kate wanted dogs. We also were just as sure that Jon did. Since Jon or Kate do not live in the house full time, at this time, it may have been difficult to keep the dogs. If Jon really wanted to keep him (because I'm pretty sure Kate found they were one more responsibility that would become hers) he could have taken the initiative and built a kennel and hired a full time dog sitter.

Kate has said several times that she has a full time babysitter. I don't know if that sitter is there all the time when she is or not. I also don't know if family is helping at all, but does not want to be a part of the show. We have seen a couple different people we don't recognize in pictures.

Could you please point to the precise episodes or interviews where Kate has said she has a full time baby sitter and/or family involvement? I have not seen them. I have seen Kate whining about doing everything on her own. A lot!

I'm holding my fire on the dog situation. I hope the "temporarily back with the breeder" is true and that when J & K get things organized the dogs will be back with the kids. I think the kids did love them.

Yes, divorce is a very common reason for disposing of pets. I have a very sweet dog right now who was unceremoniously dumped on Craigslist due to divorce. I fostered and then adopted this 10 year old pooch (with multiple health problems) because his previous owners couldn't keep him. They promised to send on his vet records and swore they loved him. They also gave a false phone number and disappeared. The poor old man had not seen a vet in 4 years.

It is worth noting that the Gosselins used to have cats (see the home video footage.) The cats were rehomed (or possibly put down) with the birth of the twins, IIRC. Sad.

 

[TanyaLovesPooh]

I wonder if the vasectomy rumors are true. Why would Jon need a vasectomy if they had sooooo much trouble conceiving?!

I hope you are right but I can't help but wonder if it's all just for the camera. Part of Kate's new "softer" image.

We never, ever saw her play with the kids before - you'd think she'd be busier than ever now. You know, because she has to do everything “alone”.

Must be confusing for the kids to have one type of mommy when the cameras are rolling and a different type when they aren't ...

Assuming that is the case.

I don't think school had even started yet when this episode was filmed. Didn't Kate even say in the episode that is was the last of summer or something like it was the end of summer before school starts?

Right you are, I didn't even think of that.

Kara & Mady are old enough to help in the kitchen and I"m sure they are curious about cooking. Its quite obvious that they don't spend much time with Kate in the kitchen by her expressions of fear!!!

I think her fear was over her 8 year old daughter wanting to cut veggies with a knife, I would have had concern too. I took it that they are with Kate in the kitchen a lot but using the knife was a new thing.

The Duggars never complain about how many kids they have because they don't take care of them - the older ones take care of the younger. Have you ever seen Michelle cook, clean or do any work? They are becoming like the Gosselins also. Look at all the trips they are taking - don't you think TLC is paying for those trips so the show is more interesting?

Exactly, the older just take care of the younger. On and on it goes.

Remember they like the perks, freebies and free trips that no large family with neither parent working could afford.

As most people would.

As for Kate letting the babysitter take Cara to the doctor, she said many times that she promised the kids game night. Maybe she thought the injury wasn't serious but wanted to get it checked just in case. She did bring up how she doesn't run the kids to the doctor over every little cold or something like that. I can't call her a horrible mother if she thought it wasn't serious and decided to stay home because she didn't want to break her promise to her other 7 children. When there was a chance that it was serious, she did take Cara for xrays.

Perhaps she didn't wanted to listen to 7 kids say "but mommy you promised" and whine all night and maybe she asked Cara if she would mind if so and so took her...we don't know every detail about every incident.

If she had dropped everything to take Cara then she would be a bad mother for not staying to play with the 7 as she promised.

 

[redrosesix]

The only thing we know for sure is it was not over until June when she filed for divorce. Even if they were in seperate bedrooms they were stilled married. If you found out Jon was cheating in Oct or Jan would you feel Kate was wrong not to sleep with him? I think he was going out drinking & coming home drunk & high which is why they were in seperate bedrooms. He admits he was going out drinking & said to Kate what are you gong to do divorce me. I have to find the time line on when that was said.

Now, a lot of people would disagree with you and say that they are not actually divorced yet so they are still legally married. WE don't all agree with you that the marriage was over in June -- I am, and always have been, of the opinion that once one of the spouses decides the marriage is over, then it is.

You also have no evidence that Jon was coming home drunk and high -- the only person in that marriage who has been accused of getting drunk regularly is Kate, and the accusastions were made by former babysitters.

As for the timeline, Jon told Kate that he wanted to go out with his friends (not to go out drinking, as you stated) in Jan and claims that in their 10 years of marriage he had never been allowed to do that. When she told him he couldn't, he said "what are you going to do? Divorce me?" According to everybody but Kate (who can't remember when the marriage ended) they had been basically separated for 3 months by that time, and Jon had already been going to counseling.