Jokes

Chilly

RIP Tag Fairy
Joined
Apr 25, 2006
Messages
14,014
A man desperate at Chelsea’s current situation decides to top himself. In his living room, alone, he prepares to hang himself. At the very last moment, he decides upon wearing his full Chelsea kit as his last statement. A neighbour, catching sight of the impending incident, informs the police. On arrival, the police quickly remove the Chelsea kit and dress the man in stockings and suspenders. The man, totally confused asks why.
The policeman simply replies, "it's to avoid embarrassing your family."
…...........................................................................

A Chelsea and Man United fan collide in a huge accident on the motorway. Both cars are a wrecked, but both men are unhurt.

"This must be a sign from God that we are meant to be friends" says the Chelsea fan "I agree" replies the United fan.

The Chelsea fan then returns to the wreckage of his car and finds a bottle of whisky he had been saving.

"Look" he says to the United fan, "this must be another sign from God, we should drink this whisky to celebrate our friendship and survival".

He hands the bottle over to the United fan who takes a large gulp from the bottle before passing it back to the Chelsea fan, who then puts the top back on & returns the bottle to his car.

"Aren't you having any?" asks the United fan. "No" replied the Chelsea fan, "I think I’ll wait til the Police get here."
 















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