Jodie's TR. Thankfully it was a short trip. Final: Day 3, Pt 2 posted!

[a*lil*bit*goofy]

whoohoo! a great trip report so far! keep it comin!

 

[AlexandNessa]

Ok, Ok, I know, I know.

I’ve dragged on and on for about 18,000 words, and WE HAVEN’T EVEN GOTTEN TO THE PARKS YET!

I know what you’re thinking…

GET ON WITH IT ALREADY, JODIE. GEEZ!!

Well, everyone left the pool and had gotten back to their respective rooms to change. As I’d already showered and didn’t actually go in the pool, I knew I’d need only 5 minutes to be off and ready to go to MGM

I don’t know why I was in such a hurry. I didn’t need to drink my beer so fast. I should have savored every drop as if it were to be my last.

Time check:

Everyone but me left pool to get ready: 1:45

Time expected to be at MGM: 2:30

Actual arrival time at MGM: 3:10.

Again, babies will do that to you.

Hollywood Brown Derby Reservations: 3:50 (Fantasmic package. Ressies made a full 48 hours in advance. Apparently, Auntie doesn’t share my obsessive 90-day planning compulsion and that’s probably a good thing.)

That doesn’t leave us much time for rides. Bummer.

Cousin Dee wanted to see a friend of hers perform in the Ariel show that began about 3:20 or 3:25. Shows are mom’s, Auntie’s, and Uncle J’s speed, so off they went to see Ariel with the baby.

Sissy and I had other plans. We took Dee’s ticket and went to get Fast Passes for the RNR for the three of us after dinner. As my mother once screamed her way through Big Thunder Mountain RR 3 ½ years ago and hasn’t recovered since, we didn’t bother getting her a fast pass for that.

Test time. What mom’s favorite Disney ride of all time?

Remember?

Give up yet?

Yes, the People Mover.

Is that what it’s even still called?

Well, ToT only had a posted 10-minute wait.

Perfect.

The plan was to ride ToT, which I was very excited about as sissy hadn’t ridden it for years and was not used to the “seat belt only” concept, and then quickly head for a beer before “dinner” and meet up with everyone at the HBD.

We rode with an especially boisterous group of six, two of whom had not been on ToT before, and the veterans were doing their best to scare the two ToT virgins, asking them if they needed to go to the bathroom first because they’d surely pee their pants.

I hoped we’d be sitting next to them, since they sounded like fun, and alas we did.

The ToT virgins said a very loud “Praise Jesus” prayer before the ride began, and one of them grabbed onto my sister’s lily white arm because there was little else for her to hold onto.

I was stuck in a corner, so I was spared the arm tourniquet.

You know, I really think the anticipation is worse than anything on ToT. The drops really aren’t that bad. At least in my humble opinion.

Personally, instead of showing you the outside as you’re ready to drop, I think they should show the elevator car in a mirror, and then they should have an image of the cable holding your car breaking as you plummet.

I’m sure it’s not a cable holding the elevator car, but wouldn’t that be cool?

Now, THAT would make people pee their pants.

But I suppose that wouldn’t be very Disney now, would it?

We finished ToT and I was able to examine sissy’s arm in the natural light of the Florida sun to see fingerprints and red marks. Cool.

She said it didn’t hurt that bad and it pretty much went away before dinner.

We figured we’d find the Derby first, but I’d never eaten there before and of course I didn’t have a map, so we wandered for a bit.

We had hoped to pick up a beer along the way, but somehow all the carts also sold pretzels or hot dogs or cotton candy or water, and there were lines everywhere.

We wandered for a while before giving in and picking up a park map. (Really, how embarrassing: MGM is not that big!) I had managed to get us all the way over to Mama Melrose’s, before realizing that the HBD was just behind the Fantasia hat.

Duh.

So there we were in front of the HBD with only 7 minutes to spare and too many long lines for beers. Sadly, the beers would have to wait for dinner. The rest of the gang was early as well, and Auntie went to put our names in for our ADR.

We were seated around 4 o’clock, which really made no never mind to me. The Fantasmic dinner package is $36.99 per person, and includes an appetizer, entrée, and dessert. That is totally more than I usually eat, but it would be losing money if I skipped a portion, wouldn’t it be?

There was a lot of chatter over meat. Took me a second to figure out why as I am the only non-practicing Catholic in the bunch, but of course (in case you’re not keeping track and I haven’t been clear on our dates), this is Friday, April 7, and Catholics do not eat meat on Fridays during Lent. Good ones, anyway.

I do remember this growing up when my mom used to try to serve fish sticks on Lenten Fridays, but eventually grew sick of the complaining and started ordering cheese pizzas, which went over much better.

Auntie wanted to order the onion soup but that (unbeknownst to oblivious me) is usually made in a chicken broth and so that was out. This would never in a million and three years have occurred to me. I would have seen onion soup and thought I hit pay dirt had I been held to these restrictions.

I often wondered what happened with vegetarian Catholics during Lent. I thought giving up meat on Fridays was a form of sacrifice, but do vegetarians really sacrifice by giving up something they already give up every day of their lives? Do vegetarians have to give up something else during Lent, or do they get a pass because they give up meat every day?

Think I’m being sacrilegious?

So did my family.

I ordered the scallops with pork for an appetizer and the filet mignon medium rare for my entree and rather enjoyed both. Sissy wimped out. I was the only one ordering beer. I hate drinking alone.

Heathen? You decide.

Everyone else had fish and seemed to enjoy it. I tried the Grapefruit cake for dessert, thinking it would be different. It was actually quite good and light and I was glad I tried something new.

Our server gave us our Fantasmic pass and we were explicitly told to be in the special line by Oscar’s Gas Station (or whatever it is) by 8. (“7:59 OK. 8:01, not OK.”), and we were on our way.

We decided to do the Great Movie Ride as a family after dinner. Everyone’s speed. Even Baby J’s.

Actually, the Great Movie Ride isn’t my favorite, but I’ll go on anything.

Dee, Auntie, mom, sissy, and Baby J sat in one row. Uncle J and I sat in the row behind them with another couple. I tell you the seating arrangements for a reason:

After the ride and as we were walking towards the Muppets, Dee turned and asked, “Did you hear that lady behind me on the Great Movie Ride let out that giant fart?!”

No way! I totally missed that.

Dee said, “Oh yeah, and she just sat there like nothing happened! I would have been so embarrassed and said EXCUSE ME!”

I contemplated this for a moment, and then asked, “Dee, how did you know it was her and not her husband?” (Note that I was safely at the opposite end of the row, not directly behind Dee. I wouldn’t want anyone on the Disboards thinking that I freely fart on rides or anything.)

She said, “Oh, it came from her direction.”

I was just curious.

We were off to see the Muppets, but Dee, Baby J, and Uncle J decided to sit that one out. As we were in line, Auntie and I discussed how not smart of the woman in front of us to be wearing a hefty knee brace and flat, cheap flip-flops in a theme park. We don’t get that.

We meandered through some stores after the Muppets, and then it was time for our appointment at the RnR.

It was about 7:30 at this point, and Dee, sissy, and I left the baby with the ‘rents.

We got a cell phone call at 7:42 as we were almost next in line to ride.

“Where are you guys? It’s almost 8 o’clock. Are you guys going to get here on time?!”

The moms were waiting at the gas station, nervous we wouldn’t make our deadline.

“We’re next in line. We’ll be there!”

We started to put bets on how many more phone calls we’d get until we safely arrived at the gas station to head into Fantasmic on time.

We got off the ride and headed over to meet them at about 7:54.

“T” minus 6 minutes.

Dee said, “Crud. I have to pee.”

I said, “No! No! Quickly, there is no time! Worried and Worrier are waiting for us.”

True to form, Auntie and mom were waiting with frantic looks until they saw the whites of our eyes.

Fantasmic is such a great show, isn’t it? I could watch that once a week and not be bored with it.

The only complaint I have about Fantasmic is when it’s over. Can you say “cluster?”

The CMs direct you in the most circuitous route past all the open shops before they let you get to the park exit.

I suppose that’s great marketing on Disney’s part, but so many people are just hot and tired and want to get out and home at that point.

Especially the old man on his rent-a-scooter.

We had **finally** made it to the exit after what seemed like 40 minutes of walking past every single shop that MGM has, when a man (I suppose you would call him elderly), plows out of the exit on his scooter at a warped speed of what had to 15 miles an hour into a crowd of people. He **rammed** into a girl and then had the nerve to shout at her:

“YOU NEED TO WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING!!!”

Auntie and I were stunned for a moment, but quickly decided to get involved.

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Auntie said, “no, no! You need to watch where **you’re** going! You just plowed into her!”

Me: “Yeah! What she said!!! I saw it too!!”

Then some man who I guess was with Elder Evil Knievel, try to tell Auntie,

“Look lady, there are a lot of people here and he needs some room.”

This did not bode well for Auntie who is a teacher and is usually assigned the most unruly of students because no one else can handle them. She said, “Exactly, and that’s why he needs to control his scooter and watch where he’s going. He really could’ve hurt that girl.”

To which he replied, “You’re being an ***!!”

Where did that come from?

Don’t tell Auntie she’s an ***. In front of me at least.

“Hey! That’s just wrong.” I managed to mutter. (Want me coming to your defense now, don’t you? Scared of me?). I wanted to say something else, but this wasn’t a good situation for anyone, and we began walking in opposite directions. The girl who was rammed into in the first place was smart. I believe she quietly flipped off Elder Evil Knievel and continued walking.

Elder Evil Knievel, of course, made for at least a good hour’s worth of conversation on the car ride back to OKW and before going to bed that night. Such excitement!

So before heading back to our respective rooms, it was time to make plans for tomorrow.

The plan was to go to EPCOT, and I said the only thing I wanted to do was Soaring!

Now the other girls began to plan,

”Do you want to go to the pool first since it should be nice in the morning?”

Quickly calculating what time that would put us at EPCOT and that fast passes would likely no longer be distributed by the time we got there at 3 pm on a Saturday of prime spring break time, I countered:

“Why don’t we do EPCOT first thing, get the rides done before the crowd comes, and then go to the pool?”

I can’t believe it. I have buy-in.

EPCOT opens at 9. What time should we meet here (at Auntie’s)? 8:45?

Figuring this would mean closer to 9/9:30, I said, “No, we’ll be here and ready to go by 8:30,” hoping for the best.

Oddly, everyone agreed.

I went to bed, with doubts that all 7 of us would be out the door by 8:30 the following morning, but praying for a miracle.

What time did we actually get to EPCOT the following morning? Stay tuned…. If you can stand it!!

 

[nickelsfamily]

Are we placing bets...
I'd say between 9:45 - 10:00am!

 

[tammyandtommy]

no no with one baby they can be ready by 9:30....iah

 

[declansdad]

Is there more???

 

[AlexandNessa]

yes, sorry, there is more..... it's just not done yet. Between the holiday and work, I have fallen a weee bit behind.

Stay tuned, if you can even stand me!

 

[AlexandNessa]

Well, if you remember where we left off, our plan was to meet at Auntie’s and be ready to go by 8:30 in the a.m.. The diabolical side of me said to myself, “If I show up by 8:15 and just stand by the door impatiently, maybe I can hurry things along.”
Raise your hand if you think this was wishful thinking on my part.

OK, put your hands down now.

For those of you who did raise your hands, you were right.

Time check?

Planned time to leave: 8:30.

Actual time we left: 8:55

Getting better at this time thing, aren’t we?

Arrival time at the front gate of EPCOT (we’re driving): 9:15.

It was already busy, and everyone was shocked that EPCOT only opened at 9 and already it was pretty crowded.

Amateurs. I need my obsessive-compulsive peeps who know that a 9 am open time really means an 8:45 or so opening.

Wait time for Soaring? 40 minutes.

Fast pass return time: 10:45.

Hmpphhh.

Nonetheless, I commando’d everyone’s park tickets for Soaring! Fast Passes. Even Mom’s, Auntie’s, and Uncle’s. Baby J doesn’t have a park ticket. He was excused from this one.

In the interim, Auntie went to look at pins. Uncle informed me she is a collector, but this means buying them and packaging them carefully, and storing them in the basement never to be seen again.

Uncle went with Auntie, and Mom happily volunteered to stay with the baby, as the 3 girls all went on Test Track together. Again, not my favorite, but if you’ll remember, I’ll go on just about anything.

I actually felt bad for my mom this trip. Mike and I really have no intention of having children. At least on purpose anyway. That evil brother that I mentioned and lied when I said I wouldn’t mention again? No kids for him and my sister-in-law either. And that’s probably a good thing. People who are anti-Disney won’t make the best of parents. That’s according to me. And my Aunt Kathy. More on her later.

Anyway, why did I feel sorry for my mom? Sissy also announced that she doesn’t have any intention of having kids either. What?!

I felt a pang of sadness. As the oldest, I get to decide who among the three of us has to have kids.

Not “it.” No backs.

But sissy would be a great mom! This means no grandchildren for my mom. And no nieces and nephews for me. This, of course, is selfish on the part of my sister. Depriving me of nieces and nephews?! I would love them and spoil them dearly before safely returning them to their rightful parents. I would always have gum. Doesn’t sissy know that this really is ALL ABOUT ME? Hmmppph.

We had a bit of time before our fast passes for Soaring!, and sissy and I took the opportunity to send e-mail post cards from Innoventions.

Looking angry that Mike is a woos and can’t join us:

To Aunt Kathy, with the secret code of the “cool girls,” a club created by Sammie the Ham who is Aunt Kathy’s granddaughter and my cousin’s daughter. Keeping up? This is my dad’s side of the family. Again, more on them later.

Well, now it was about time for Soaring! Cousin D decided to sit this one out with the baby, and I dragged everyone else on this ride. If you’ll remember, everyone but me and sissy are low-speed ride types of people. Having never ridden Soaring!, I did have an idea of what it was and what it was all about. But that was just from reading. I guessed that they could handle it.

And so, I dragged everyone with me with the slightest bit of trepidation.

It is better to ask forgiveness than permission. I learned that in 1993.

I told my mom, “Just close your eyes if you don’t think you can handle it!”

Sissy and I sandwiched all the ‘rents between us in our row for safe keeping.

I was very excited after the ride started and Auntie put her hand on my knee and said, “I’m so glad we did this, Jodie!”

Yeah! Now, does mom have her eyes open?

Not the two times I looked over to check on her.

She said she had to close her eyes three times on that one. Wimp. Something about being queasy. Queasy on Soaring!? Don’t go by mom.

Uncle J didn’t have an opinion, really. He said it was OK. Auntie said that was per usual: he really doesn’t get excited about much. Auntie thought it was very relaxing and cool. I think she’d do it a second time, without me, even!

I felt like I had a convert!

Pressing my luck, I tried to get everyone on Mission: Space. Now this I had been on before, and I knew it probably wasn’t a good idea for my current companions, so I didn’t make much of an effort here. Not surprisingly, everyone passed on that. Even sissy. I was one for two. Can’t win ‘em all.

We settled on Figment next. That was one of our favorite rides in EPCOT when we were younger. Before it was changed and then got really sucky.

I remember fondly back in 1989 when our family and my Aunt Kathy’s family all went to Disney together. We all stayed in the park until it closed at midnight, and at 11:55 we would all agree on what the last ride of the night would be. At EPCOT, it was always Figment. We would call this the “Mad Minute.” It didn’t matter who you were or what path you were blocking. My siblings and 3 cousins and I would all plow everyone over trying to get in line for Figment before the CMs closed it. This didn’t make our mothers happy, but my dad didn’t care. One time, he lined the 6 of us up by height and had us march to Figment while doing “arm farts.” (My youngest cousin Tim was really good at them. Still is.) Even my aunt, who really doesn’t faze easily, was embarrassed by our impromptu parade. However, it really is hard not to think back on this and laugh. My dad is pretty cool.

Well, sissy had not been on Figment before it was “renovated.” She agreed that it was renovated for the worse, and it would be definitely be off the “Mad Minute” list if all of us cousins did Disney again.

We had some lunch at one of the counter service places and then decided to tour the shops in the countries for a bit. I noticed that the show in the American Pavilion was going to start in 10 minutes, and we decided to see that since we hadn’t seen it in years.

A bit tired? Need a nap? This theater is a good place for that. I woke up when the show was over, hoping I hadn’t snored or drooled. Startled, I looked around me, and quickly noticed sissy, mom, and auntie doing the same thing. So, I still haven’t seen this show in years. Sad.

Must’ve been tryptophan in our lunch in or something.

Feeling refreshed now, I got a really stupid idea in my head. One that I couldn’t out of my mind.

I had Expedition Everest on the brain. I had a sister who would ride with me and an uncle with a car. And, I had an aunt, mom, cousin, and baby who wanted to go back to OKW and the pool.

Get where this is going?

I dragged my sister to Animal Kingdom (thank God for park hoppers) at 2:45 in the afternoon on a Saturday, of Spring Break week, the day after Expedition Everest had its grand opening.

Actually, we left at 2:45. We arrived at AK at about 3 or so.

Not so smart now, am I?

The idea was to ride EE and meet everyone else over at the Marketplace because we had dinner at Portobello’s at 5. And, we would be using Disney’s transportation system to get there.

Now you’re thinking that I’m really not so smart, aren’t you? Amateur even. Really, I’m ashamed to even be admitting this for the 20 people who are probably perusing this thread.

By I will falter on so any newbies hoping to learn a blessed thing from me will not be condemned to repeat my mistakes.

It started when my sister was going to leave her Vera Bradley knapsack in the car and have my mom just bring it with her to dinner. My mom was convinced that her park ticket and money would fall out of her pocket on the ride without being safely tucked inside the Vera Bradley.

My sister relented and brought the knapsack with her.

Review:

Jodie: never, ever brings bags into the park. Ever. Effectively utilizes pockets and park pass holder that my friends got me from Boat USA that I wear around my neck (see EPCOT post card). Never has to wait in bag check line. Ever.

Sissy: brings knapsack and has to wait 20 minutes in said bag check line, which is seriously cutting into our EE wait time.

After the hour-long wait (yes, I’m exaggerating here, but THAT’S WHAT IT SEEMED LIKE!), I told my sister:

“Repeat after me: our mother is a worry wart, sometimes to the point of being paranoid. I am an adult and I no longer have to listen to EVERYTHING our mother says. I am old enough to use discretion.”

She wouldn’t repeat after me. I don’t know why.

After the “bag check incident,” I don’t even think I let her keep up with me. I hauled some serious butt over to EE, oblivious as to whether or not she was with me.

I have a one-track mind. I can’t help it.

Arrival time at EE: 3:35

Wait time: 80 minutes.

Fast passes left: None

Dinner at Portobello’s: 5

Having to get there using the Disney Transportation system, and needed time to leave: 4:15 pm (or so we thought).

Mood: turning sour.

Sour because I couldn’t believe what a shlephead I was for thinking this could possibly happen on a day like today. Was I insane?

Don’t answer that.

We settled on Dinosaur, since sissy had never been on it before, and it didn’t have much of a wait time. I love that ride! That’s cuz no matter how many times I ride, the T-Rex still scares me, and the ride pictures are always amusing as I try to shield myself from the impending attack.

Time check: 4:05.

The park was sooo crowded, I told sissy we should leave and get a jump start on the transportation system.

I said, “If we get to the Marketplace early, we’ll grab a beer and buy cookies for everyone.”

Getting the feeling that I am absolutely off my rocker at this point?

Reality was about to set in: we exited Dinosaur and headed towards the park exit only to find that we were in the middle of a parade.

Good grief. It was so crowded we could barely move. Honestly.

Of course, I didn’t bother picking up a park map, and we got lost in the cluster. I found a CM and asked where in the world the park exit was. (I should know this. Another embarrassing thing to admit really).

He said, “Follow Mickey till you get to the fork in the road and turn right.”

I know he said that. Sissy heard him too.

Now, we are following Mickey, moving at a speed of 1/10 MPH. I began to feel claustrophobic. I do not like sticky skin-on-skin contact with strangers.

I said to sissy, “They are so lucky there is not some emergency right now – no one would ever get out of here alive!!!!”

What?

I didn’t want to say that any louder. I might cause a massive panic attack and things would only get worse.

We finally came to the fork in the road, took the right, and saw the sign:

“Park Exit”

Unfortunately, the “Park Exit” sign also had an arrow under it, pointing in the opposite direction we were going.

My heart sank deep into my chest. We were going to have to face the cluster again.

I quickly wished a pox on the CM who gave us bad directions, and tried to find another one who this time wouldn’t lead us astray for kicks. I have no doubt ‘evil bad direction CM guy’ was watching us and enjoyed our despair as he discovered he just sent us deeper into the park.

We finally made our way out. Time at exit gate: 4:40.

Time it took us to get out of the park from Dinosaur: 35 minutes.

Time left to get to our ADRs at Portobello’s using the Disney Transportation system (DTS): 20 minutes.

Things were not looking good.

Now, if you’ll remember, Auntie is a DVC member and has been for some time. This means she has to know WAYYY more than me as I am just a lowly who only visits the parks about 3x in 5 years on average. So, I should listen to her, right?

While I was contemplating my brilliant idea to head over to AK from EPCOT, she said, “Just take the bus to the TTC. You can get to anywhere from the TTC.”

I didn’t think that was true. But I bowed to her far superior knowledge of all things Disney.

Here’s my first clue that I shouldn’t have listened to this particular piece of advice:

They always rent a car and drive everywhere, and they never use the DTS.

So, we are finally waiting at the bus stop, and my first instinct was to disregard her advice, and hop onto the PORS bus that was pulling up. I know that PORS is close to the market place, and they have a boat that will take you there.

Did I listen to my big, bad self?

No, because my track record had been crappy that day, and I decided to listen to Auntie’s voice of reason.

So, there we waited for the TTC bus. And waited.

Finally it came.

Time on the bus: 5:00.

Now, here is the problem. I didn’t bring my cell phone. Truth be told, I hate them. I hate talking on the phone. I work for the phone company. I talk enough on the phone and trouble shoot phone problems all day. I don’t care if I see any phones while on vacation. I only use them for emergencies.

My sister had her cell phone, but her battery was quickly dying.

We called mom, “Quickly!! Battery dying. At TTC. Trying to make it to Marketplace. Over!!”

Just as quickly back, “Get here when you can. We’re already seated.”

So, now, my brain is telling me that I am not a complete idiot as we’re looking around and of course do not see anything obvious at the TTC that will get us to the Marketplace.

We asked the question at the information booth that I already knew the answer to:

We would need to walk to the Polynesian and find the bus stop there and transfer.

We decided we’d already blown it at this point, and treated ourselves to the Monorail. We hadn’t ridden in years and thought it would get our spirits back up.

That was until I sat next to a little girl who was squirming in her dad’s lap and she kept kicking me.

Then the dad would say to his little girl, “You just kicked her. Tell her you’re sorry.”

The little girl was tired and now embarrassed and dug her head into her father’s chest, but continued to kick me as she squirmed.

“You just kicked her. Tell her you’re sorry.”

Repeat about 5 times in the course of the ride.

Now I was embarrassed because I must have said, “It’s OK, really” about 5 times by now, and what was supposed to be a relaxing ride on the monorail was my awkward moment as I was immersed into the world of a parent trying to discipline his kid on my behalf at Disney.

Really, buddy, if you could just find a magical way for me to be at Portobello’s right now where I know my mom has a pitcher of their famous Sangria waiting for me, that would be lovely. Really lovely!

We made our way over to the Polynesian to find that everyone had been waiting for a bus to arrive. We waited 20 minutes. The only bus to arrive, you ask?

The one that wanted to take us back to Animal Kingdom.

It was hot, my pitcher of Sangria was getting warm, and I was tired.

What happened next? Stay tuned, cuz the night is still young!!!

 

[tiki23]

Wow! What an adventure you had..I'm hoping the Sangria was still cold. And thanks Jodie, because this newbie is scribbling down notes.

 

[fabumouse]

Either that or she thought I would be the bad mom-type to give a baby alcohol to put him to sleep. That seems silly.

A baby wouldn’t need an entire 16 oz beer after all.

I am tempted to ask for a call of hands: who thinks you should have children?
The world needs parents who have a sense of humor.

Great report! Looking forward to more.

 

[SoosieQ]

Great so far. Can't wait to hear more.

 

[declansdad]

You have got quite the day going....I'm sure it ends well, maybe a or .

 

[tammyandtommy]

Oooh sounds like mom is going to be maaadddd!! LOL hurry back are you in trouble, did you make i there, or did you stay at the poly and eat there,? Inquiring minds want to know!

 

[roberrl187]

Very enjoyable. Subscribing.

 

[AlexandNessa]

I am tempted to ask for a call of hands: who thinks you should have children?
The world needs parents who have a sense of humor.

Great report! Looking forward to more.

Ahhh, but I will bet you wouldn't want me babysitting your kids though now, would you!!

Stay tuned. I am trying to get to Day 2, Part 2 today. Hoping it will be done by at least tomorrow sometime.

Thanks for reading!

 

[AlexandNessa]

Ok, Ok, I know. I know. Really, I know…

I need to be timelier before this limited readership abandons me, but I do have some good excuses.

Mike and I rented a dumpster this weekend for some serious spring cleaning. I’m sure anyone who is the oldest and was the first kid to buy a home in her family can appreciate the unfathomable number of hand-me-downs you receive. You know, “Jodie can probably use this” not so much that they want to replace what they have, but that they haven’t used it in a long time, and it is just sitting somewhere in storage, and me moving out is a perfect opportunity to get rid of it under the guise of ‘just trying to help.”

At the age of 25, I was grateful since I didn’t have a whole lot of money, and I needed to replace carpets and cut down a big moth-infested tree first, but after a year or two, I really didn’t need or want these things anymore as I was able to replace with new things, that more importantly, were to my taste and style. Fortunately, I had a work room to store such things as they were replaced.

Now, in moves Mike who came into my house from an almost-furnished townhouse, and we had even more stuff. You couldn’t walk in the work room any more. It was one big pile of junk.

Hence the dumpster.

Hence my neighbor saying, “Jodie, I like the new addition to your driveway.”

Hmpph. I know it’s ugly, but it will only be there till Tuesday. He’ll live.

One interesting thing that I found was a time capsule that my 7th grade social studies teacher made us do in 1984.

I realize I was supposed to have buried this thing somewhere, but waiting almost 22 years to open it was good enough, I felt.

Would you like to hear what I wrote?

It really doesn’t matter what you say here, because you know I’m going to tell you anyway….

“What I Would Like People to Believe” by Jodie, Social Studies period 7-1, September 1984.

“I would like people to believe that Ronald Reagan was the best president to ever live. He keeps up with the nuclear arms race with Russia very well. Walter Mondale is a big jerk. I would never trust him to be president and his vice-presidential candidate Geraldine Ferraro is crooked. She owed $60,000 in taxes to the government, along with her husband John Zicharo. How could you put someone into the second highest office of the United States of America that is crooked? I wish I could vote. I would vote against Walter Mondale and tell all my friends to also.”

Thank you. I was 12.

There was certainly more in the time capsule, but I will spare you any further interruptions from that. Unless you really want to hear my Top 10 TV shows at the time…

We were also interrupted on Friday night when the “High School Musical” Dance Along aired. We happened to be channel surfing, and I told Mike that this was supposed to be really popular with the kids.

I will have everyone know that, through the Dance Along, Mike has learned the last dance of the show. He’s convinced that all the kids will be impressed with him when we take our Disney Cruise in December.

Ok, sorry for the interruptions, now back to the regularly scheduled thread….

Well, there sissy and I sat and sat and sat and sat at the Polynesian, at their bus top. And we waited and waited and waited.

I imagined my pitcher of Sangria growing warm and missing dinner at my favorite restaurant, and having to find somewhere to eat dinner without ADRs during Spring Break on a Saturday night.

My mood had turned from sour to sourer.

Finally, I saw 2 cabs towards the front of the Polynesian. I looked at sissy, “Have any cash?”

“Sure do,” she replied.

We gave up on the DTS, seeing no buses in sight and we’d already waited a full 25 minutes with only the AK bus showing up.

We were pretty sure the next bus would be 10 minutes away, but it was probably the one that wanted to bring us back again to AK.

I got in the cab, and said in a most tired and pathetic way, “Can you get us to the Marketplace?”

He grunted.

And I think he nodded too.

Whatever, I just hoped he knew what I was talking about and would get us where we needed to be.

For those with a need to know: it costs $20 with tip to cab it from the Poly to the Marketplace.

We were safely dropped off at the front entrance and began to haul some serious butt over to Portobello’s.

Now, sissy and I thought that Mom may be mad, but this is an art form: Act upset and flustered and apologetic as you explain your frustrating ordeal in detail.

This way she feels BAD for you, not MAD at you.

I needn’t have worried. She wasn’t mad at us at all. She understood. She was worried that I would be upset.

First things first. Uncle poured me a glass of Sangria from the half finished pitcher.

I asked, “Is this your first pitcher?”

“Yes,” they said, “and you’ll need some ice because it’s warm.”

We’re 45 minutes late with 4 adults at the table, and the pitcher of Sangria is only half-empty? That shows an amazing amount of self-control that I completely lack.

They said, “Don’t worry, girls. We’ve stalled them and no one has ordered entrees yet. Have some appetizers.”

Phew.

Here’s where my mom handed me a menu and quickly looked away.

“What’s the matter, mom?”

“It’s not good, and you’re not going to like it.”

Nonsense, I thought. I had been trying to decide if I wanted the $50 Australian lobster tails all week.

Once I started reading the menu, I knew what she meant.

The menu changed.

A lot.

And it was very limited.

And in a very bad way.

ALL my favorite stand-bys that Portobello’s had usually served were MIA.

What, what, what?!!!

Where’s the Prawns and linguine that they make with rigatoni for me instead?

Where’s the shrimp appetizer I always get?

This was MAJOR disappointment. When the waitress came by to say hello and let us know that she saw the whole gang was here, I asked, “when did the menu change?”

She said, “It changes every Thursday.”

I said, “We’ll need another one of these,” as I held up the pitcher of Sangria.

So, Portobello’s, if you’re reading, hear this:

I WANT THE MENUS FROM 2002 – 2004 BACK! GOT IT? THANKS.

There really wasn’t a whole lot on the menu anymore. I decided to settle on the lobster ravioli with marinara sauce and crab meat.

Auntie and Mom settled on that too, and I don’t know what anyone else got.

Our entrees came very quickly, but there was only one problem:

Our lobster ravioli was awful. When I say AWFUL I mean really AWFUL. It was fishy and pasty and gross.

This made me sad. Portobello’s was my favorite, and now it wasn’t.

Auntie agreed and said it was terrible and wanted to send it back, but Cousin Dee told her to be careful and be nice about it. This made auntie change her mind, and she reluctantly resumed eating it.

Now, I had probably had half of pitcher of Sangria to myself in about 15 minutes on a relatively empty stomach. When the waitress came by to see how everything was, I said in a most apologetic voice, “I’m sorry. This is really bad. We’re just eating it because we’re really hungry. It’s really very fishy.”

She was very nice about it and said she wanted us to be happy and would get us another set of menus.

Thinking that whatever I ordered next would have been spat in or drooled on or made with dirty hands, I pressed, “Are you sure it’s OK? We don’t want to be any trouble.”

No, not a problem at all, she said. Although I’m sure that didn’t do anything to dissuade some evil doings to our second meals.

Mom and auntie were glad that I made the move, and we all reordered. This time I had prawns (which were actually shrimp, not prawns) and cavetappi. It was better than the ravioli, but nothing to write home about.

When there are pitchers of anything on the table, I just assume the role of hostess and make sure everyone always has a full glass.

Even if they don’t want a full glass. That’s just how I am and it’s just the people that I’m used to traveling with.

I forgot where I was, apparently.

Cousin Dee said, “Wait, how did I get a full glass of wine?”

Uncle said, “Ask your cousin.”

I don’t think she finished her Sangria. This is a foreign concept to me. I rarely leave a drink in a restaurant or bar – neither of us were driving after all.

But again, I guess babies will do that do you.

Over dinner, mom told me, “Jodie, I can’t believe I forgot to tell you that Aunt Evie died.”

“Aunt Evie?! You’re kidding?!”

Now, really it shouldn’t have been a surprise to anyone (including you, of course) that Aunt Evie died.

Ahem. Time for another segue:

Aunt Evie was my paternal grandfather’s sister. He died in 1986, 20 years ago this August. So, she is Aunt Kathy’s aunt. Aunt Kathy never really liked Aunt Evie. Something about Aunt Evie being a “hoity toity,” but I really think it was more about that when my great grandmother died, she left my Aunt Kathy as the executrix of her will instead of her own daughter, Aunt Evie. And, Aunt Evie hated Aunt Kathy for that.

Keeping up? I almost hope not because I think my mom would just about choke if she knew I just told anyone who cared to read my trip report on the DISBOARDS our family laundry. Fortunately, she has not yet discovered the DISBOARDS. And her internet skills leave a little to be desired.

One time mom was home in NJ, and called my sister at college in OH. She said, “Sissy, I’m on the Internet. How do I get off?” So, I suppose there is little chance that she will find this thread.

So, of course, I wanted to call Aunt Kathy and offer her my condolences on Aunt Evie’s death. But it’s rude to use a cell phone in a restaurant. Especially someone else’s cell phone. And so I would wait.

We decided to have ice cream sundaes at Ghiradello’s instead, not wanting to risk the mediocrity that has become Portobello’s. So we asked for the check, and although gratuity was already included, I slipped in an extra $20, hoping that if something bad was done to our second entrees, at least they might feel bad about it.

You know, kill ‘em with kindness.

So, there was an insanely long line at Ghiradello’s (I am quite sure I am spelling this wrong, but you know what I’m talking about, right?!).

And, we insanely waited in the insanely long line to eat some insanely high and fattening calories. I got a S’mores sundae. Couldn’t even come close to finishing it. Not after 1 and ¼ entrees and what was pretty much an entire pitcher of Sangria all to myself.

So, we decided to walk around a bit, under the auspices of “walking off dinner.” Sure, about 10 calories of it.

I took this opportunity to pilfer mom’s cell phone to call Aunt Kathy.

“Hello?”

“Aunt Kathy, it’s Jodie. I wanted to call and offer you my condolences.”

“Why? Because Mandisa was voted off American Idol?”

“No. Because Aunt Evie died.”

“Oh. She was robbed, you know.”

“Who? Aunt Evie?”

“No. Mandisa.”

Duh.

I do hearby swear that this conversation actually took place, and I am not making it up in the slightest. Only in my family. Only my Aunt Kathy.

A few years ago, sissy and I were over Aunt Kathy’s having a cup of tea. She got up from the kitchen table for a moment and rejoined us with hand-outs. She said, “Let’s discuss American Idol at length.”

Yes, “at length.” I’m not exaggerating about that part either. Or the part where I told you she had hand-outs for American Idol. That was the first season of the show. Her viewership hasn’t waned, and I should have expected that conversation.

I, unfortunately, don’t watch American Idol this year, and so quickly moved the topic onto other, more pressing issues.

“I have some more bad news,” I said.

“Worse than Mandisa getting voted off?” she asked.

“Yes, they changed the menu at Portobello’s. It’s very limited and crappy now.”

This was a major disappointment to her, since in 1989, I think all 10 of us ate there twice we liked it so much.

We had a bit of a conversation about their cruddy menu, when I told her that I couldn’t find the famous Market Place cookies. They weren’t in the Pantry any more.

She said they were in Goofy’s Candy Store now. She asked where I was standing and proceeded to give me turn-by-turn directions from in front of Ghiradello’s to the Candy store (are you facing Ghiradello’s or are you facing the water?).

She said the cookies would be in one of the showcases.

I made my way over to the Candy Store, and I said, “OK, I’m here.”

Leaving nothing to chance, she asked, “Are you inside the doors? I’ll stay with you till you’re safely inside.”

“I am, but I don’t see the cookies.”

At about this time, the call waiting chipped in. It was Auntie S trying to call and find out where in the heck I was.

Call waiting is rude so I didn’t answer it.

Actually, I just didn’t know how to use call waiting on mom’s cell phone.

Aunt Kathy was saying, “Look in all the cases! All of them! They’ll be there somewhere. Not right at the front. Walk straight ahead, and look to your left.”

I saw them and told her so, and they were ready to take my order.

She let me go.

As soon as I got my 6 cookies and 2 enormous rice krispi treats, the phone rang again.

It was Aunt Kathy, “your mom just called me. They didn’t know where you went so I told them you were buying cookies at the candy store.”

This befuddled Uncle Kevin who got on the phone and asked, “Let me get this straight. You’re in Florida with your mom, and she called us in NJ to find out where you were at Disney.”

That made perfect sense to the women in my family. Not so much so for Uncle Kevin.

Through Aunt Kathy in NJ, I was able to reconnect with the rest of the crew in the Marketplace who were shopping.

We did a bit of that before retiring to Auntie’s room at OKW.

After eating some cookies (because we hadn’t eaten enough that night), sissy and I got a grand plan.

We would take a second chance at Expedition Everest by becoming rope drop people.

This time, I would be smart about the whole thing. I called down to the front desk.

”What time do the buses start running in the morning, please.”

“Well, the MK has some crazy hours and those buses start at 6 am.”

“Sorry, I am specifically calling about AK.”

”No problem. A bus should be here for that about 7:15.”

Then Auntie called down to find church services for Palm Sunday.

Let’s review:

Jodie and sissy taking bus to AK at 7:15.

Mom, Dee, Auntie, Uncle, and Baby J: Mass at 7:30.

Fortunately, they didn’t judge.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s grand adventure…..

 

[fabumouse]

Ok, Ok, I know. I know. Really, I know…


One time mom was home in NJ, and called my sister at college in OH. She said, “Sissy, I’m on the Internet. How do I get off?”

Phhhhht. You could have written while your DH chucked stuff in the Dumpster. All of our families suffer for the Dis. What makes him so special?

And when your mom figures out how to get off of the internet, please pass along that information as some of us (meaning: me) still don't know. I'm still here, aren't I?

Thanks for the update and looking forward to your rope-breaking EE tactics.

 

[tammyandtommy]

This befuddled Uncle Kevin who got on the phone and asked, “Let me get this straight. You’re in Florida with your mom, and she called us in NJ to find out where you were at Disney.”

That made perfect sense to the women in my family. Not so much so for Uncle Kevin.

Through Aunt Kathy in NJ, I was able to reconnect with the rest of the crew in the Marketplace who were shopping.

…..

OMG I thought I had the only family that could do this!

 

[Ron from Michigan]

I'm enjoying your report very much. i have to agree with you about Portobello Yacht Club. We used to love this place to eat, but on our last visit we were really disapointed. The food was just medicore at best. I was also very disapointed with the selection. There are not enough entrees to pick from now. Now let's hurry up and tell us if you got to ride EE.

 

[AlexandNessa]

Fabumouse, now, you should know to **never** trust a man to know *what* he can and cannot throw away. Someone had to supervise and tell him: new luggage used twice, not to be thrown away just because it was stored in the work room. Old luggage that is falling apart: OK to throw away!

Oh, and BTW, my neighbor who commented on the nice, new "addition" to my driveway... he wasn't so sarcastic when we told him we had extra room in the dumpster if there was something he needed to get rid of and he threw in a couple of old vacuum cleaners...

Tammyandtommy, kindred spirits are welcome to travel with us any time!

And Ron from MI, it would seem that you and I need to start a petition for Portobello's to save it from its current state of mediocrity. The ambience is still great, but the food and menu selection is really lacking. We need to bring back the old Portobello's!

I hope to start Day 3, our EE adventure tomorrow!

Thanks for staying with me!

 

[Avivasmom]

OMG you have me in tears from laughing. I truly understand about calling your aunt to find out where in Disney you are.

I want to read more!! So do you write for a living? If not, you DEFINITELY should!!