Job help for bf, any advice welcome =[

[Lizzybear]

Hope this is OK to post, I know you're a nice/helpful bunch on here so I thought it was worth a shot.

Boyfriend Steve just received a reply from a job interview he had about a week ago saying he hadn't got the job. He's pretty gutted and i'm finding it hard to give him advice and encouragement =/
He's been pessimistic about finding a new job for a while now: We've been together nearly 2 years and he's been working the same job -nights answering the phone in a taxi company- (technically shift manager but that's mostly down to him organising a lot of drivers rather than having much authority) since we met and for quite some time before that. He started it in uni as a part-time thing and just never left. He did suffer from depression in his last year of uni and one after though so I guess that didn't help. He can't really move up any more and to be honest it's a bit of a rubbish job: The bosses are unfair, no-one has any dinner breaks no matter how long they work because apparently 'down time' is a break and all employees should 'expect to be sworn at and should take it cos it's their job to' 0_0 You get the idea!
He's been looking for a new job for a few months now, though not consistently in my opinion. The problem is he gets incredibly defensive when I try to gently push him. I have tried to offer constructive help like links to jobs i've found online but I think he needs to try harder than he is doing. He's been unhappy in this job since we met and at first I said nothing (for about a year i'd say) but now I feel like I have to. I'm 22 and he's 24 so maybe he feels like he doesn't want to take advice from someone younger (however, i'm still in uni but have worked full-time and am doing close to that at the moment so it's not as if I haven't had to find jobs myself!) and of course there is always the typical bloke thing of they know best =/
I guess i'm just looking for any tips of things I could do to help motivate him, things I could recommend him to do or say interviews, similar stories, or even any jobs any of you know of in the Liverpool area! I know it might sound like i'm being pushy but I really think I need to be. He has had to do the same to me when I was in denial of my debt problems and now i'm well on my way to clearing them.
He wants to work in an adminstrative role as far as I know and is not adverse to working with the public or in a callcentre. He has a good telephone manner and is very organised. He's an intelligent guy and has a degree (though I know this doesn't always count for much nowadays!) but I think he just doesn't have much confidence with regards to jobhunting cos he gets treated badly in his current job =[ I feel awful for him at the moment as I know how much he wanted this job and I honestly think he would have been good at it knowing his skills and personality.
This is the job he didn't get, if that helps: http://jobsearch.joininsurance.co.u...62&lid=26017&jt=2&jt=4&jt=1&jt=3&sort=dt&vw=b

 

[jen_uk]

Hmmm thats a tough one!! You need to be careful about not making him feel like you are pushing him too much as he might feel that you must think he is not capable of doing it by himself, men bless them have such fragile egos!! He needs to sort out his confidence/negativity issues because if he goes for an interview they will pick up on that. Are there any courses that he could go on, not necessarily for job hunting but ones that help give you confidence and boost your self-esteem, maybe could you pay for him as a present?

 

[natalielongstaff]

i agree with jen, be VERY careful what you say in case you end up demoralising him even more

best of luck

 

[shellbell]

My Dh is currently looking for a new job too. To cut a long story short he had a car crash 5 1/2 years ago, he was in the army but they had to discharge him on medical grounds as his right femur would not heal properly and he couldn't return to work. He is now in a position to start seeking employment again but at 29 he is finding this hard and he will never do a physical job again. He has recently been for a job interview working for the police (in Winsford, Cheshire), If he gets the job he will be entering crimes onto the computer and deploying the police where they need to go. He finds out today if he has been sucessful. He has been knocked back twice. I am really keeping my fingers crossed that he gets this job as i know it will do his confidence no good if he doesn't.

I really hope your BF finds a new job soon as it ins't very nice being in a job you hate doing. Just keep supporting him and encourage him! Goodluck

Michelle

 

[catherine]

I can't really give you much advice about how to handle the situation, but I've just asked DH if there are any vacancies where he works and he said that he'll ask around and see what he can find out. DHis a manager at an IT outsourcing Co and I know that they have customer help desks. The co. is located in Warrington and DH said that they have a lot of people from Liverpool working there.

Good luck to you and your BF. I hope that everything works out well for both of you!

 

[Richard Bruvofetc]

First things first. He mustn't get depressed. This was his first interview, and like everything it's a learning process. He must expect a number of rejections. As some readers on this board will know I was recently "separated" from my company (unfair dismissal - I won an out of court settlement) - 2 months looking and I haven't even got to the interview stage yet!

I would suggest applying for jobs that he may not want and use them to build up his experience in interview techniques. Find out what the employer is asking for; what answers they want etc. This will also build up his confidence in the interview as well. I have also been the interviewer on many occassions and I also try and look through the "nerves" of the interviewee.

What is his CV like? If you like, I could look at it for you and suggest changes/improvements etc. (I have plenty of time on my hands at the moment).

Look at the positives:

"I'm a dedicated worker, who will put in the required effort to get the job done. I regularly work through my lunch break to ensure my company meets its objectives".

"I handle pressure well. My manager's expectations are high and I always meet those expectations".

"I have excellent organisational skills and have taken full responsibility for the logistics of our drivers".

"I have good communications skills and my customer relationship skills have benefitted the company on many an occassion".

Also, he will have to be able to answer the question on why he is looking for a new job:

- The working environment he is in has reached it's limits and he needs to find new challenges and opportunities.

- He doesn't want to stand still and stay in his "comfort zone". He has a lot to offer and wants to realise his potential.

Hopefully, this will give a few pointers. If you need any help, please do not hesitate to ask.

 

[carolfoy]

Great advice from everyone here as usual, this is such a friendly helpful board, I'm sure EVERYONE has problems this lot can solve. I agree with Jen that you have to tread real careful, you don't want him to slide further.

good luck to Michelle for your dh's news today, let us know how he gets on.

Richard has good practical advice, let him redo your blokes CV, a neutral persons perspective will be a positive thing.

personally, I'd say that you both ought to find something to do together that you think might spark his interest in a new career path. How about volunteering at a local disabled club? helping out at community project? join the local amateur dramatics? these type of things may encourage him to look at job types he's never considered, they are also great networking places, the more people who know and like him and know he's looking for a job, the easier it'll be to find one.
Most jobs are on a its-not-what-you-know-but-who-you-know basis

good luck

 

[Lizzybear]

Thanks for the replies so far, i'm really glad I posted =]

Richard thanks for all the advice of stuff to use in a CV, some great stuff there! You're right it was his first interview in years (he got the taxi job cos his dad drives for the firm, and the only interview he's ever had in his life was a Christmas temp job in Asda) I may just take you up on the CV offer, i'll pass on your advice

Carol it is so true that it's who you know not what you know! He actually nearly got a job at Jaguar through his dad (works for them driving lorries) but it ended up going to someone less qualified and with less work experience just because they had a relative higher up in the company than Steve's dad *sigh*