Jill Duggar's wedding

[cabanafrau]

Yeah, but how many ways do they have to split the pot?

Quite frankly I have hoped many times that there are laws requiring money be reserved in trust for the kids when they have appeared on the show as minors. I suspect that most of the money is paid directly to and controlled by Jim Bob. Sadly I don't see any of the adult children, particularly female, speaking up and requesting a piece of the money earned as a result of the show. Somehow I think even an inquiry would result in some fellowship about how they should have a giving heart and result in their "share" being charitably donated, in the name of the Duggar family no doubt. The educational background and lack of financial resources will probably enable Jim Bob to rule the roost over any of his children financially for as long as he chooses.

 

[M5ward]

It does seem they were happy, and I certainly hope they are.

Several things about the episode were disturbing to me. One of the grown Duggar brothers commented about the groom potentially turning into "a good worker, another one for the fleet"? I thought the groom was a college grad w/ a good job? Just seemed very disrespectful to think that any and everyone would be aiming to become another cog in Duggar, Inc.

I also found the dad very over the top regarding giving his daughter away, making sure he was standing up there to announce you may kiss the bride, etc. Worst of all was him asking them if they had a chaperone -- at the church, while they were heading for the chapel to have devotions and call to check in w/ the groom's critically ill mother. Seriously out of bonds display of power and piety IMO. If you can't rely on your grown daughter to follow the morals you've taught her in that situation, you ain't done your job buddy.

He did go to college...Oklahoma State and is an accountant with Walmart.

 

[leebee]

We used to live in VA, we now live in MA. The kids at my daughters dance school find it weird that she calls her teachers Miss or Mr (first name). I think it is just a matter of politeness and respect.

Around here, people just do NOT do that outside of a preschool setting.

I was raised in Massachusetts and live in Maine now, so I am a true New Englander. No kids that I ever knew, either growing up or DD's friends, would use "Miss FirstName" or "Mr. FirstName" for adults. Just not done up here, and has nothing to do with politeness or respect. We always called adults "Mrs./Ms./Mr." LastName, unless they were very close family friends and we were told to use their first names only, and that's the way it was with DD and her friends when they were growing up. In fact, I don't like to be called "Miss FirstName;" to me it sounds like kids are acknowledging their inferiority/my superiority to use a title with my first name. I know that's not how it's intended, but it's how it feels to me.

 

[olwyngdh]

I was raised in Massachusetts and live in Maine now, so I am a true New Englander. No kids that I ever knew, either growing up or DD's friends, would use "Miss FirstName" or "Mr. FirstName" for adults. Just not done up here, and has nothing to do with politeness or respect. We always called adults "Mrs./Ms./Mr." LastName, unless they were very close family friends and we were told to use their first names only, and that's the way it was with DD and her friends when they were growing up. In fact, I don't like to be called "Miss FirstName;" to me it sounds like kids are acknowledging their inferiority/my superiority to use a title with my first name. I know that's not how it's intended, but it's how it feels to me.

Like I said, it is cultural. I grew up with mr or mrs last nam unless they were very close friends of my parents, the it was aunt or uncle firstname. We have livrd in various parts of the country over the years, and the address I like the best is miss or mr firstname. When I think back on it though, my dance teacher back in the 60s was miss lina, even though my girlscout leader was Mrs Fox. Addressing adults inpositions of authority by only first name bugs me a bit, but that is the kids parents call, not mine. Friends parents is a different situation. If they request to be called by their first name, that is a nonissue, but then, they aren't inthe position of a teacher either.

 

[mnrose]

Blessedly born, raised, and married in the Deep South and I can attest to your statement. All 5 of us siblings had similar receptions: cake, nuts, ham biscuits, buttercream mints, tuna or chicken salad finger sandwiches, and punch. No alcohol, no sit down meals or buffet, and no dancing. We each had between 15 and 125 guests. Wedding receptions were more like big birthday parties.

I like the budget conscious wedding. When I see a couple spending thousands on superfluous things, like fancy reception flowers, photo booth, open bar, second wedding gown for the reception , and band I can only think how far that $25,000 could have gone toward things they actually DO need.

Exactly the same was true in my experience here in the upper Midwest. Never did I see the "sit down" dinner type reception until I was married and living on the West coast.

We had butter cream mints that my mom made herself. Totally budget.

 

[luvsJack]

I was raised in Massachusetts and live in Maine now, so I am a true New Englander. No kids that I ever knew, either growing up or DD's friends, would use "Miss FirstName" or "Mr. FirstName" for adults. Just not done up here, and has nothing to do with politeness or respect. We always called adults "Mrs./Ms./Mr." LastName, unless they were very close family friends and we were told to use their first names only, and that's the way it was with DD and her friends when they were growing up. In fact, I don't like to be called "Miss FirstName;" to me it sounds like kids are acknowledging their inferiority/my superiority to use a title with my first name. I know that's not how it's intended, but it's how it feels to me.

One way is not more polite than the other. Its just a difference in the culture of the south and the culture of other regions. Not wrong, just different.

Its just that in the south, children are taught to do this because in the south its considered respectful. Just like saying m'am and sir. When an adult says "call me Jane" to a child or teen or even young adult; they tend to change it to "Ms. Jane". Its just the way they have been brought up.

 

[shoney]

One way is not more polite than the other. Its just a difference in the culture of the south and the culture of other regions. Not wrong, just different.

Its just that in the south, children are taught to do this because in the south its considered respectful. Just like saying m'am and sir. When an adult says "call me Jane" to a child or teen or even young adult; they tend to change it to "Ms. Jane". Its just the way they have been brought up.

I believe that is what I (and LEEBEE) was trying to convey.

The PP, olwyngdh, used terms like "matter of politeness and respect" and that may very well be true in certain places like the South.

Here it would not. If someone were to call me Miss "Sue" I wouldn't think what a polite and respectful person. I would probably be making an internal decision whether to ask them to not call me that or just let it go and cringe each time I hear it!

 

[madge]

The Duggar family seen on TV now is very different (and at the same time, exactly the same) as the family we saw when they started with the specials on TLC when they were at 14 kids

Jim Bob carefully controls how we see the Duggars, probably with a little help from TLC to make their ultra-conservative family traditions come off more mainstream. Mainstream = marketable.

People traveled great distances to be served root beer floats made with Aldi root beer. (they couldn't even splurge for the A&W? More likely scenario is deal with Aldi for product placement) I find that a little rude. There's a difference in being cheap and being careful with your money. I haven't seen all the pics from People or US Weekly, so maybe there was more than we saw on the show?

Jim Bob hand picked Derick for Jill. He's her man. The end.

 

[luvsJack]

I believe that is what I (and LEEBEE) was trying to convey.

The PP, olwyngdh, used terms like "matter of politeness and respect" and that may very well be true in certain places like the South.

Here it would not. If someone were to call me Miss "Sue" I wouldn't think what a polite and respectful person. I would probably be making an internal decision whether to ask them to not call me that or just let it go and cringe each time I hear it!

I get what you mean. When we first moved back to the south, my brothers and sister had been raised to teen years in upstate NY and in southern CA. They were not in the habit of saying "ma'm and sir". They were taught to be polite but everyone saw them as "rude" because they didn't say those two words.

For southerners it is a matter of politeness but that is here and may not be the same everywhere.

 

[Pembo]

I watched. I greatly enjoyed Jeremy Roloff's wedding more! It seemed more real and less staged.

If you played a drinking game every time anyone mentioned or hinted towards Jill and Derick finally getting to kiss and have sex.... I thought that was all very inappropriate. That has been the focus of this whole season...they can't kiss, they have to have a chaperone...blah, blah, blah...we want grandbabies as soon as possible. yuck. We get it, enough already. I don't really care what boundaries they set, it's personal, stop talking about it already. And the fact that she is already pregnant made it even more bizarre.

Thought his mom was very sweet, loved the little kids in the wedding, love Josh's kids - they are so fun in their interviews.

Where was Cousin Amy? and someone asked the question online, where is Michelle's family in all this? We never hear about them.

The next Duggar wedding is on Saturday, Nov 1. btw

 

[madge]

Where was Cousin Amy? and someone asked the question online, where is Michelle's family in all this? We never hear about them.

Cousin Amy was seen briefly last night. Her dress was not modest, so maybe that's why she wasn't shown more. LOL

 

[elaine amj]

I grew up in a culture where everyone was "Aunt __" or "Uncle __". When I turned 18 and an adult I always called "Aunt __" asked me to call her by her first name, I was very uncomfortable.

Anyway, I do encourage friends' kids to call me Ms. Elaine although I'm OK if they call me Elaine. I teach my kids to call everyone Ms.FirstName or Mr.FirstName. Close family friends are called "Aunt __" or "Uncle __". However, my kids don't see it the same way (mark of respect from my own culture) and eventually called their kids their "cousins". All our families like the idea of the kids being "cousins" so I was happy my kids thought of it differently than I do.

I think it's likely a comfort level. Derek is used to calling adults by their first names while Jill is likely uncomfortable with that when its a MIL. she'll likely resolve that by calling her "Mom" from now on. Michelle likely prefers to be called Ms Michelle but is OK with being called Michelle and left it up to Derek.

I didn't watch last night and am hoping to sit and watch some time this week. I spent last weekend watching their first meeting and the proposal episodes.

 

[disney is my life]

Does anyone remember what restrictions Josh and Anna had? I don't remember side hugs and remember lots of hand holding. But maybe they only started following them on the show after they were engaged? I don't remember.

From what I remember Josh and Anna:
-held hands once engaged
-waited till wedding to kiss
-I know they did hug but not sure if they only did side hugs

 

[olwyngdh]

I believe that is what I (and LEEBEE) was trying to convey. The PP, olwyngdh, used terms like "matter of politeness and respect" and that may very well be true in certain places like the South. Here it would not. If someone were to call me Miss "Sue" I wouldn't think what a polite and respectful person. I would probably be making an internal decision whether to ask them to not call me that or just let it go and cringe each time I hear it!

And that is what I said, twice. It is a cultural difference. Nowhere did I say not doing it was wrong, disrespectful, or anything like that. I said, for me, it sounds more respectful, especially when addressing a teacher or other adult in a leadership position. I don't care what you do, or what you teach your children to do, and it doesn't bother me either way when I am being addressed, but I also don't think it is wrong to teach my child to address adults in what she and I both see as a respectful and polite manner. I learned it from her in the first place because that is the way dance teachers, coaches, and scout leaders were all addresses in that area. I am certainly not going to tell her to cease being what she believes is polite because you don't like it. If an adult tells her to address them differently, that is one thing, but shaming her into what she believes is disrespect because you don't like it but wouldn't have enough respect for her to say so to her face is not something I am willing to do. Her teachers at her dance school here certainly don't mind, and neither do the coule dance moms she addresses that way.

I really don't understand why you find it so offensive. I don't find the lack to be offensive, just culturally different.

 

[lucas]

I just read that Jessa and Ben are getting married this Saturday, November 1.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I just read that Jessa and Ben are getting married this Saturday, November 1.

I have been curious...
I expect the engagement only comes when there is a means to support a family...
What exactly does Ben do for a living?

Didn't know Derek was working in accounting for Walmart. Did they ever mention his field? Aside from the mission work? I had assumed his employment would have been more church oriented because of that.

 

[madge]

I have been curious...
I expect the engagement only comes when there is a means to support a family...
What exactly does Ben do for a living?

Didn't know Derek was working in accounting for Walmart. Did they ever mention his field? Aside from the mission work? I had assumed his employment would have been more church oriented because of that.

Ben works for the Duggars. They took him in when he moved into the room in that warehouse thing. He's only 19 or 20, I think? I've never heard any mention of him being in school or anything like that, either.

They did mention Derick and accounting ... maybe in the episode when Jill went to Nepal. Walmart is probably an approved employer, since they're in NW Arkansas.

 

[ORMom2Four]

It was very neat to watch. I've been interested in their family since wayyyy back when Michelle hand sewed all of their clothes and they lived in that tiny house.

Where were they running to after the announcement of "Husband and Wife" and the first kiss? Dh joked that Derrick was taking her to a back room to consummate the marriage immediately, lol.

I did not like the fact that Jim Bob told Derrick to kiss the bride on the alter. It felt, well, weird and gross.

There is such focus on the kiss, the family almost makes it seem like kissing is "the act" (wink, wink, nudge, nudge ) It makes it that much more inappropriate that they want it done in front of friends and family on a stage.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

It was very neat to watch. I've been interested in their family since wayyyy back when Michelle hand sewed all of their clothes and they lived in that tiny house.

Where were they running to after the announcement of "Husband and Wife" and the first kiss? Dh joked that Derrick was taking her to a back room to consummate the marriage immediately, lol.

I did not like the fact that Jim Bob told Derrick to kiss the bride on the alter. It felt, well, weird and gross.

There is such focus on the kiss, the family almost makes it seem like kissing is "the act" (wink, wink, nudge, nudge ) It makes it that much more inappropriate that they want it done in front of friends and family on a stage.

Derrick did say that they went to enjoy a chaperone free moment for the first time.

 

[aprilgail2]

I JUST learned that Jill is already pregnant. It makes me sad; she is so young, they barely have been married and are still learning to live together and be adults, and already they are having children. I know, it's their lives and their decision, but it seems like they have spent years being "kids" and will have years to be parents, but spent so little time together as a couple.

It is sad that these girls are brought up to be nothing but baby incubators. They didn't even give themselves time to get to know each other as a couple before popping a baby out.