Janitor pushed DS. Updated pg. 4

[Trish5768]

My DS7 got off the bus today and said Mr. X pushed him and hurt his back. He said he had to go to the nurse and she gave him ice to put on it. Then he had to go talk to the principal. He also said that the lunch monitor told him she was sorry, Mr. X must be in a bad mood today.
I walk through the door from getting him off the bus, phone is ringing its the principal. She says Mr. X moved Nicholas and that she sent him to the nurse to be checked out and the nurse said there was no redness or bruising. (why the ice pak?) Also, Mr. X will be reprimanded. She also wanted me to know that Nicholas had not done anything wrong.
I'm calling principal in the morning and telling her that I believe that Mr. X should apologize to Nicholas and that I want to be present when he does. If not, I'm taking it to the next level. I feel I'm justified in saying/doing this but wanted to get some opinions.

 

[mudnuri]

doesnt your school have a zero tollerance policy for physical contact? I'd check on that.

There is NO reason ANY adult should be "pushing" "moving" "touching" ANY child in any capacity if it is not the childs parent, or if physical injury is NOT going to occur without the contact.

I'd be LIVID and would press charges.....but thats just MY opinion

Brandy

 

[Trish5768]

Trust me, I'm so mad I can hardly contain myself. I just did not want to type a 6 page thread explaining all my emotions. I just tried to keep it to the facts.

 

[Disney01]

Well, I wouldn't jump to pressing charges...Too many people do that this day in age. I'd hear both sides of the story, but also recognize two things...1) Sometimes at school an adult will grab, or touch a child for some reason, without thinking. I did once when two boys in a classroom I was subbing got in a tussle. I grabbed the boys arm without thinking of the "no touch" policy. 2) I would find out why he needed an ice pack...It may not have been because of the janitor. Just keep an open mind, and don't jump to "press charges".

 

[Trish5768]

I didn't say anything about pressing charges. I feel he should have to apologize.
Yes, the ice pak was because of the push, he pushed him into the wall and hurt his back. The nurse gave it to him because his back was hurting.
I have heard both sides, principals, sons, and the lunch monitors.

 

[Hagred]

Originally posted by mudnuri
doesnt your school have a zero tollerance policy for physical contact? I'd check on that.

There is NO reason ANY adult should be "pushing" "moving" "touching" ANY child in any capacity if it is not the childs parent, or if physical injury is NOT going to occur without the contact.

I'd be LIVID and would press charges.....but thats just MY opinion

Brandy

I think this is going a bit too far. I'm a 70's child so I remember frequent "touches" from playground monitors, teachers, janitors and principals. They ranged from holding my hand and telling me I did a SUPER job on something and they were proud, to the male science teacher putting his hand on our backs or heads to herd us into the classroom, to a hand on the shoulder being pushed out of the way because of a fight going on in the vicinity.

I remember the "I'm very glad/relieved you pulled through" touches the most because it felt like the teacher was personally connecting with me. Funny - I had to strain to remember the 6th grade teacher rushing to break up a fight between four boys. One of my most fondest memories is of the 5th grade and getting an A on a hard test. The teacher held me back while everyone else left, then she put both her hands on my shoulders, looked me square in the eyes and said, "You....did....GREAT! THAT's....what I...KNEW...you could do! Keep up the good work."

I guess today she'd be reprimanded and would have to worry about losing her job. I'm relieved she's retired now so she doesn't have to worry about these things.

To say that there should be NO touching of ANY kind except when danger is apparent is going a little too far IMO. As to the OP, if the kid wasn't hurt then I wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

 

[Disney01]

I agree with what Hagred said...Same thing as I was trying to get across, except she/he said it better. The day I grabbed the boys arm, I didn't sleep at night, because I was so worried about a no-touch policy, that I would have repurcussions.

I know the OP didn't say anything about pressing charges, the first poster said that, and I think it's extreme. That's what I was cautioning against.

 

[grlpwrd]

She says Mr. X moved Nicholas ...

I wouldn't jump to conclusions just yet... Did your son say why he was moved? It may have very well been an emergency or other high priority situation.

Let's face it ... kids sometimes do exaggerate, too. Your son says "push" while the principal says "moved." Interpretation is everything. What exactly happened and what were the circumstances?

Yes, get the facts first and if there are any witnesses that may help get some insight. Did the lunch monitors actually see everything? What did the janitor say?

I really think getting the whole story is vital.

 

[mudnuri]

I think your forgetting a point- he went to the nurse.

Lets put this a different way for a twist-

your son goes to school, says his back hurts because you pushed him and hurt his back. The nurse gives him an ice pack. That same nurse- and principal are MANDATORY REPORTERS...not investigators- REPORTERS...they are mandated by law to report any suspected child abuse. In my eyes- as a mandatory reporter, they would be forced to report it to the proper authorities without consulting you...the parent who "pushed him and hurt his back"

As a substitute teacher- maybe you can forget the "no touch"...but as a school employee full time...no way.

I wouldnt go in for an explaination- I'd call the authorities and let THEM decide who did what.....your not unbiased...you cant be - its your son...thats their job.

I still say more than an appolgoy is warranted. And if it was my child you can bet there'd be more than that happening.

Since when did it become a janitors job to "interract" for lack of a better word with students- they "move" them? whats up with that...

Again, just my opinion

Brandy

 

[eeyore kelly]

I am concerned about the word "moved". Sounds fishy to me. I want to get the principal's defination of that word.

 

[disney4us2002]

Yeah, I'd be going in to get more info. I think the principal's language of Mr. X "moving" Nicholas is downplaying. While meeting with the principal, Nicholas and any lunch witnesses, I'd ask Nicholas to demonstrate this "moving" by doing to you what was done to him. You are talking about your 7 year old right? I don't think any adult needs to put his hands on a child so much smaller as to cause pain and need for ice. Something is not 'right'.

 

[janette]

Is there any bruising? It doesn't sound quite right, I think you are due more information.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

Originally posted by janette
Is there any bruising? It doesn't sound quite right, I think you are due more information.

If there is I would take some pictures of it.

 

[phamton]

I just don't see what "demanding an apology" accomplishes. Apologies that are coerced are seldom sincere and are just empty words. If someone causes a car accident, an apology isn't demanded by the courts or the insurance agents. You pay your ticket, fine, damages, or go to jail.

A sincere apology would be nice but demanding one just sounds hollow. I would hope that the janitor is reprimanded and any punishment would be fair to you and your son. I am sure the school district has guidelines as far as disciplining employees goes, but to demand an apology just seems counter-productive. Hopefully, he will apologize willingly and on his own but whether he aplogizes or not should have no baring on the punishment.

I'm really sorry your son had to go through this.

 

[Molokai Gram]

I am not aware of the "no touch" rule.

In the 70's my son was in first grade and not behaving in the lunch line. A teacher grabbed at him and accidently scratched his face from the corner of his eye to his chin. The school did not call me at the time of the incident, but told me about it when I called them to investigate my son's report that the teacher had done it. They were very defensive and said that it would not have happened if my son hadn't mis-behaved. (He had been acting silly they said). I was furious and demanded all the teachers have their nails cut short! They did it and after I calmed down, I realized how silly my demand was and how guilty they must have felt to comply.
I did investigate first, because I really couldn't believe that a teacher could have done this and no one had let me know. I guess they decided to take the chance I wouldn't notice? I took no further action although it was a deep scratch and it even left a faint scar for over a year. I think I would have taken legal action had it involved his eye or something serious, accident or no accident.

I would investigate your incident and find out why this happened (what was a janitor moving a child for) and before making demands, ask what they intended to do first. Unless the janitor was pushing the child out of the way of danger, it was wrong. And it not only hurt the child, it taught the child pushing is okay. I agree the child is due an apology and I would want it to include an admission from the janitor to the child that pushing is wrong.

Just my opinion.

 

[piglet too]

I hope you get some more info today. I know that my son was once "moved" by a janitor, and it was to move him out of the way when he almost got hit by another teacher pushing a cart. No one else "saw" the cart but when the janitor and that teacher were asked it all came together.

If there is no "good reason" why he touched your son, than more needs to be done. Maybe not as far as calling the cops, but it needs to be more than just a reprimand.

Please let us know how it goes today!

 

[Serena]

I think I'd be finding out exactly what happened too.

 

[Trish5768]

I talked to the principal this morning. I told her that after thinking on it all night and talking to the cafeteria monitor, and a few kids that were in line with Nicholas that things just were not adding up. I said you said Nicholas said he was not hurt and yet the nurse did give him an ice pack, I said you said he was moved but I had Nicholas show me what he actually did and then went to two other kids homes without Nicholas and had them show me. They did the EXACT same thing as Nicholas showed me. I said he was not moved, he was pushed in the abdomen and fell backwards into a wall. You told me that Nicholas had done nothing wrong, so why did this man feel he had to touch my child in any way if he was not in any danger. She said that if it was her son she would feel the same way and yes, Nicholas had been pushed and she should have made that clear yesterday. She said that she was meeting with Mr. X and his union rep. today. She also said that she would keep me posted on any other developments. I don't know now if I'm madder about the push or the fact that she went out of her way to try to cover the whole thing up.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I'd definately want more information. I'm not understanding why the Janitor pushed, moved, or touched your son.


As for an apology, that personally wouldn't interest me. Depending on if and what he did wrong, he needs to be removed from the school or suspended. If he had a reason for doing what he did, then there is no reason to apologize. I think it would my kids feel really uncomfortable to have an adult brought before them an apologize.

 

[eeyore kelly]

Please keep on this. This guy does not sound like he belongs working in a school.