Jack & Jill Greenback Bridal Shower..tacky?

[Stacerita]

Me, neither, also!

I have a co-worker who received a bridal shower invite- it took her a week of asking every one she knows to figure out who it was from

They were also requesting American Express gift cards!

UGH! I have stopped going to weddings, showers and the like for people I barely know. If I have to ask who they are, then I don't need to be going. Even if it is a family memeber. If said family memeber hasn't talked to me or seen me in so long that I have no idea who they are, then I must not be important enough to spend time with, let alone be important enough to go to their shower. So I won't.

 

[alreadyengaged]

We got engaged FINALLY last May 2007; we have been together for 15years.. and have lived in OUR HOME now for 8 of those years... and I gotta tell you... when I say we have SOOO much stuff now.. that I could never or would I want to register for MORE stuff... now it's just the 2 of us and our 4 dogs... Greenback's have been discussed on OPRAH; which is where I first heard about it and thought now that is a good idea. Some people believe it to be very tacky.. but my thoughts are that I would rather have someone give the money in lieu of the gift??? And I don't mean on the invitation for it to SAY BRING MONEY; but what is so wrong with doing like a "honeymoon" theme; meaning help us make our "Hawaiian Dream Come True". We did not have an engagement party.. which I do believe that you can give either a gift or money.. yes or no??? Now I KNOW that there are some of you out there that agree and have also complained about the Bride opening up the gifts.. no one really watches or even seems to care (at least the showers I've been to) doing it this way the bride to be can spend quality TIME with those family and friends.. eat, drink and be merry! And of course any amount would be fine with me; I would not care if someone gave me $5 or $150; it's not like they have to "cover a plate" per say... my other option is to maybe have no one give more than say $50, basically putting a "cap" on the amount
Does anyone out there feel the same??????

 

[Bella the Ball 360]

We've been invited. And we got the invitation 3 months ago, so it was really hard to say we already have plans.

Have never attended a greenback shower (nor been invited to one), and hoped I would never have to. DH has never been to a shower at all...he is SO thrilled. NOT!

Is there anyone (apparently, yes...the people who invited us) who doesn't think greenback showers are tacky? The invitation might as well have said "You're invited...bring money."

I met the woman once, over 10 years ago at her sister's wedding (with about 300 people)...I assume I met her. The current bride-to-be was supposed to be marrying someone else a couple of years ago. Good thing she called it off before that Greenback Shower.

Her father works in the factory of the business my DH (CFO) works at, and he's invited my DH to his house once or twice a year over the years for incredible lunches (his wife is an awesome cook, apparently), so we kind of feel obligated to go; it's not like this guy is "just an employee", but I only know him and his family from the first wedding I attended. But if we're invited to the shower, I would imagine it's going to be huge...everyone who's invited to the wedding?? I'm sure the food is going to be awesome, but I'm on a diet.

I have no idea how much we're supposed to give. I just sort of picture them opening the envelopes and announcing the amount. (They won't, right?? )

Wonder when the greenback wedding is.

Sounds like my BIL. I loved it he was married for 15 years then he gets married again the "bride" lived with him for 3 years along with her child from a previous non marriage. They have the NERVE to send out invites for a green back shower. I told my husband no way. I gave to the first wedding and no way was I giving money becasuse as the invitation said they had everything since they had already set up the household.

A SHOWER is to help set up a household. It is not to finance a trip b/c two people shacking up decide they want a party and figure this is a good way to make money.

The wedding was even worse. They did the thing where everyone takes out a dollar and passes it around THEN they say okay all the people at the table who have collected all the dollars bring them up here (of course some of them had only 5's or 10's and they were told they would get them back) to the head table and then they GIVE it all to the bride and groom. It was over 400.00!! Sorry that is nerve.

 

[Bella the Ball 360]

We got engaged FINALLY last May 2007; we have been together for 15years.. and have lived in OUR HOME now for 8 of those years... and I gotta tell you... when I say we have SOOO much stuff now.. that I could never or would I want to register for MORE stuff... now it's just the 2 of us and our 4 dogs... Greenback's have been discussed on OPRAH; which is where I first heard about it and thought now that is a good idea. Some people believe it to be very tacky.. but my thoughts are that I would rather have someone give the money in lieu of the gift??? And I don't mean on the invitation for it to SAY BRING MONEY; but what is so wrong with doing like a "honeymoon" theme; meaning help us make our "Hawaiian Dream Come True". We did not have an engagement party.. which I do believe that you can give either a gift or money.. yes or no??? Now I KNOW that there are some of you out there that agree and have also complained about the Bride opening up the gifts.. no one really watches or even seems to care (at least the showers I've been to) doing it this way the bride to be can spend quality TIME with those family and friends.. eat, drink and be merry! And of course any amount would be fine with me; I would not care if someone gave me $5 or $150; it's not like they have to "cover a plate" per say... my other option is to maybe have no one give more than say $50, basically putting a "cap" on the amount
Does anyone out there feel the same??????

I do not feel the same. A shower was intended to help the bride build up her dowery. If a shower is not needed they WHY do people think that they are entitled to money in lieu of helping to furnish a home? I do not get it.

 

[lilybrooke14]

Why not just charge cover for the party?

Or put an ad in the paper?

"SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY! We are (having a baby/getting married/moving into a new home/buying a dog) Care to donate? No checks accepted, cash only please. We'll provide snacks and beverages."

 

[okeydokey]

We got engaged FINALLY last May 2007; we have been together for 15years.. and have lived in OUR HOME now for 8 of those years... and I gotta tell you... when I say we have SOOO much stuff now.. that I could never or would I want to register for MORE stuff... now it's just the 2 of us and our 4 dogs... Greenback's have been discussed on OPRAH; which is where I first heard about it and thought now that is a good idea. Some people believe it to be very tacky.. but my thoughts are that I would rather have someone give the money in lieu of the gift??? And I don't mean on the invitation for it to SAY BRING MONEY; but what is so wrong with doing like a "honeymoon" theme; meaning help us make our "Hawaiian Dream Come True". We did not have an engagement party.. which I do believe that you can give either a gift or money.. yes or no??? Now I KNOW that there are some of you out there that agree and have also complained about the Bride opening up the gifts.. no one really watches or even seems to care (at least the showers I've been to) doing it this way the bride to be can spend quality TIME with those family and friends.. eat, drink and be merry! And of course any amount would be fine with me; I would not care if someone gave me $5 or $150; it's not like they have to "cover a plate" per say... my other option is to maybe have no one give more than say $50, basically putting a "cap" on the amount
Does anyone out there feel the same??????

I feel it's very tacky to have any kind of party and dictate what kind of gifts people are supposed to bring.

 

[Mom2Nick]

We got engaged FINALLY last May 2007; we have been together for 15years.. and have lived in OUR HOME now for 8 of those years... and I gotta tell you... when I say we have SOOO much stuff now.. that I could never or would I want to register for MORE stuff... now it's just the 2 of us and our 4 dogs... Greenback's have been discussed on OPRAH; which is where I first heard about it and thought now that is a good idea. Some people believe it to be very tacky.. but my thoughts are that I would rather have someone give the money in lieu of the gift??? And I don't mean on the invitation for it to SAY BRING MONEY; but what is so wrong with doing like a "honeymoon" theme; meaning help us make our "Hawaiian Dream Come True". We did not have an engagement party.. which I do believe that you can give either a gift or money.. yes or no??? Now I KNOW that there are some of you out there that agree and have also complained about the Bride opening up the gifts.. no one really watches or even seems to care (at least the showers I've been to) doing it this way the bride to be can spend quality TIME with those family and friends.. eat, drink and be merry! And of course any amount would be fine with me; I would not care if someone gave me $5 or $150; it's not like they have to "cover a plate" per say... my other option is to maybe have no one give more than say $50, basically putting a "cap" on the amount
Does anyone out there feel the same??????

Sorry but people that already have an established household - especially one for 8 years - do not need a bridal shower IMO! Showers are a way for friends and loved ones to help a couple establish their first home. You've already done that......

 

[Bella the Ball 360]

Sorry but people that already have an extablished household - especially one for 8 years - do need a bridal shower IMO! Showers are a way for friends and loved ones to help a couple establish their first home. You've already done that......

Amen sister!

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

The wedding was even worse. They did the thing where everyone takes out a dollar and passes it around THEN they say okay all the people at the table who have collected all the dollars bring them up here (of course some of them had only 5's or 10's and they were told they would get them back) to the head table and then they GIVE it all to the bride and groom. It was over 400.00!! Sorry that is nerve.

I had never heard of this before, until they did it at this wedding that the greenback shower was for! I was fascinated...or is the word "stunned".

 

[Ilovemylife]

Sorry but people that already have an extablished household - especially one for 8 years - do need a bridal shower IMO! Showers are a way for friends and loved ones to help a couple establish their first home. You've already done that......

Showers are designed for people like DH and I, who got married while in college and we literally had nothing.

Showers are not meant for middle aged people who have been on their own for a long time and already have a household established.

Nor are showers thrown to pay for your honeymoon. If you can't afford to go to Hawaii, go somewhere you can afford. Or! Save some money until you can afford Hawaii on your own.

 

[C.Ann]

Greenback shower? Rude under any circumstances..

 

[JessicaR]

I feel it's very tacky to have any kind of party and dictate what kind of gifts people are supposed to bring.

And that right there is the bottom line.

If the intention is to really "spend quality TIME with those family and friends.. eat, drink and be merry!", then I would have that get together, celebration and request NO gifts since you don't need any. The presence of their company is gift enough.

 

[Just Jan]

I also find greenback showers in poor taste. I was invited to one this summer for a couple that I am fond of, but I would not attend. I didn't send a $$ or a gift. They are both in their approx 44 years old. They both have very goodjobs, have both been married before and I know she has children in their early 20's and teens. They have owned their own homes. They have lived together for 2 years. I am unsure if they rent or own a home together at the moment. WHY ON EARTH would someone throw them a greenback shower???

I also agree that bridal showers are meant to help set up a home of a young couple.

 

[Stacerita]

Ugh, can't believe this topic. I think its tacky.

 

[Goofyzgurl]

I'm leaning towards that tacky camp too. Out of curiosity how much do you give and how do you give it...do you just go up to the couple and say, hey here's a twenty??? I sure get educated at the Dis University. I learn a lot of things here.