Jack and Jill Shower

[happily single]

Too late now, but curious about the following: You discovered one hour before the party that you had to pay to get in, and question if you should bring something. Hadn't you bought a gift or a card already?
Do you like the couple enough to bring whatever you had bought already? Or are you planning to return whatever you bought?

I have a millions things going on in my life. The small details of the wedding shower weren’t a major concern to me. I had checked their wedding website several times and there was nothing listed on their registry. I just assumed the $50 fee was my “gift” but I am the one that always tips, sends a card, etc. so I began to wonder if I also needed to bring a gift. I’ll update below so everyone can see

 

[happily single]

UPDATE: I stopped at my local Walgreens for a card. Holy smokes, when did cards get so expensive? $5.99 for a basic card?
Card was purchased $50 placed into card with $50 set aside for “entry”. I get to the venue and no one is collecting money. I really expected someone to be in charge, collecting money and handing out fake gambling money.

since I’m not a big gambler and there didn’t seem to be any enforcement of the door fee I didn’t pay.

when I arrived there were maybe 30 people already there. As I was there I placed the card in the designated glass front box. I could clearly see I was only the second person to leave anything in the box. There were no visible gifts anywhere.

 

[Pink Partridge]

I would deduct the $50 from whatever I planned to spend on a gift.

The thing is, I usually give $50 for a baby shower for a non family member. I am getting paranoid that looks cheap after reading your post.

 

[Mysterian]

What’s a Jack and Jill shower?
Is there a Goofus and Gallant shower, for couples where one partner is incredibly irresponsible?

 

[sk!mom]

I meant that it is becoming more and more expensive to constantly attend these parties. This shower automatically tacks on $50 at the door. I didn't have gender reveal parties when I was growing up in addition to a baby shower later.

I enjoy parties so I don’t mind any reason to get together with friends and family. If I get invited to one that I don’t care to attend, I just decline. I never think they were wrong to celebrate. I’ve been to several gender reveals in Recent years as my nieces, nephews, and DD have started having kids. In my experience, the expectant parents host. The expense of food, drink, decor, etc… is theirs. I fail to see how it’s anything but a fun time. I’ve never taken a gift to one and never noticed gifts until DD’s last fall. Out of maybe 30 guests, there were 3 or 4 gifts. I didn’t take one and I was to be a first time gramma. I just didn’t realize there would be any gifts. I can percent verify that DD and DSIL were surprised (but grateful, of course) to see any gifts. They just wanted a fun time and cool pics of the gender of their baby to be. They host parties, cookouts, holidays often. This one just had a special fun theme. I may take a gift next time I’m invited to one since I saw some did. We’ll see

The thing is, I usually give $50 for a baby shower for a non family member. I am getting paranoid that looks cheap after reading your post.

No need to be paranoid. I’m a big proponent of stick to your budget. I doubt I’d go to the type of shower mentioned by the Op unless I was very close to the couple. If $50 was my budget, then I’d do the buy in and not take a gift. For me though, if I accepted this type of invite (it sounds like a lengthy event plus I don’t like games so I would likely only play along for someone who is important to me) then I’m close to the couple so my budget would likely be at least $100.

 

[Imzadi]

I never think they were wrong to celebrate. I’ve been to several gender reveals in Recent years as my nieces, nephews, and DD have started having kids. In my experience, the expectant parents host. The expense of food, drink, decor, etc… is theirs. I fail to see how it’s anything but a fun time. I’ve never taken a gift to one and never noticed gifts until DD’s last fall.

I've never been to a gender reveal party. Glad to see it may not have been invented as a gift grab. A chance to celebrate something: YES to that any time.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

...a what? Will there be any hill rolling or head cracking?

 

[_19disnA]

I think it is tacky to ask someone attend a wedding shower and have to 'pay' $50 to get in the door, regardless of how that money will be used. I know some people who are opposed to gambling so likely they would never attend such an event. I have no idea if they expect you to also bring a gift. $50 might be more then some people were planning to spend on the shower gift so will be interesting to see how things go.

Other types of parties such as a 'gender reveal' or anniversary I have seen the invitation worded to the effect ............."your attendance is the only gift required" or something similar. I think it makes sense to consider what your expectations are when sending out the invites so people aren't left guessing.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

If a gay couple gets married, do they call them Jack and Jack or Jill and Jill Showers? What if one or both are nonbinary?

 

[mjkacmom]

So, did folks play cards for money? Did anyone pony up the $50? No gifts were given%.

 

[RedAngie]

Seems you couldn't go wrong with a pale of water.

Never mind “pale” water. Bring a pail of dirty mop water.

 

[Sinder]

Sounds like fun. If giving $50 in “the name of fun” keeps me from having to sit there and watch a person open 50 individual gifts I’m all for it.
My dd is the maid of honor in a wedding this fall. Things have changed alot since I got married, there is so much pressure to plan everything perfect. She’s stressed about the shower not being good enough, something like this sounds so much better.

 

[mrs. magoo]

Sounds like fun. If giving $50 in “the name of fun” keeps me from having to sit there and watch a person open 50 individual gifts I’m all for it.
My dd is the maid of honor in a wedding this fall. Things have changed alot since I got married, there is so much pressure to plan everything perfect. She’s stressed about the shower not being good enough, something like this sounds so much better.

My daughter is in a wedding in June for a college friend and she is so worried about in my opinion such little things, but it must be Instagram worthy. I am so laid back when it comes to stuff like this I mean for my wedding I wore my mom's dress and had a basic party afterward. The whole thing cost like 5,000. I made my own favors but in today's world it would be a travesty.